FOURTEEN MONTHS WAS a long time. A long time to be away from your child, from your family, from your life. And a long time to spend in a cell with nothing but your thoughts. Thoughts that sometimes made you want to hurt someone else as much as you were hurting. But he never did that. If he did, he would never get out of here and back to the family and life he loved so much.
Jackson Teller finished doing another set of push-ups and sat back down on the bed in his cell. He glanced over at the wall, at the picture of his son, Abel. He felt the rage that he always felt, knowing that he was missing out on so much of his son's life. And after he had just gotten him back too.
When Abel had been kidnapped in Ireland, Jax had truly felt like the most helpless man in the world. There were moments, fleeting as they were, that he thought he would never see his precious son again.
But Abel was back where he was supposed to be, in Charming, California. Gemma Teller-Morrow, Jax's mother, was taking care of him while Jax finished his stint in Stockton. She sent him letters constantly, telling him how Abel was doing. They shared phone calls too. But Jax would never let her bring Abel here to see him. He didn't want his son to remember him this way.
Laying back on the bed, he put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. There were certain things he didn't want to think about, but they always seemed to creep into his mind at times like this. Things like the fact that his girlfriend, Tara Knowles, had left him. That is, after she had had an abortion. She had been carrying their child, Gemma had told him as much. But when he returned from Ireland, she had been gone, leaving him with just a letter.
He still remembered what it said, even though he had thrown it out long ago. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't be this person. It was too much. What she had really meant was that she couldn't have Jax's child because then she would be tied to him and the club for the rest of her life. And that was something she wasn't willing to do.
There were days that Jax didn't blame her. There were days that Jax himself had wanted out of SAMCRO and to lead a normal nine-to-five life. But deep down, he knew he wasn't cut out for that. And deep down, he knew that Tara wasn't cut out for this lifestyle. So they had been doomed from the beginning, he realized that now. Too little, too late, he thought, the memories still leaving a bitter aftertaste.
"Teller. You've got a visitor."
Jax opened his eyes. He had a visitor today? There wasn't anyone scheduled to be here. He stood up and followed the guard. Once he had been frisked, which was a joke really, he walked into the visitor's room and smiled.
Gemma hugged her only son tight to her and then released him when a guard coughed a warning. She rolled her eyes and sat back down, Jax sitting across from her.
"Hey Mom."
Gemma smiled. "Hey baby. How are you?" Jax shrugged, leaning forward and said, "Ready to get the hell outta here."
She nodded knowingly. "I know. Won't be much longer now, though. What have you got left? Two weeks?"
Jax nodded too, silently thanking God that it was only down to a matter of 14 days.
"How's the little man?"
Gemma grinned, a proud grandmother as always. "He's great. Smart as ever. We're working on our ABC's and numbers. He can't wait to count to twenty for you."
Jax smiled too. He couldn't wait until he could hold his son in his arms again. He wanted so much to be able to tuck him in at night, get him a snack when he wanted one, race cars with him, play outside with him. Two weeks, he kept repeating to himself, two weeks.
"How are you baby? Really?"
She placed her hand on top of his and looked into his eyes. Jax was never one to let on how he was really feeling, but Gemma knew that if she caught him at the right moment, she could read his eyes. Today was not one of those days.
"I'm fine, Ma. I am." He squeezed her hand in reassurance, even though it didn't do anything for her. "Are you gonna stay behind and see Clay?"
Gemma nodded. That was what she usually did when she came here. She visited with her son first and then her husband second. Jax couldn't image how hard this was for her, taking care of Abel by herself, without his help or the help of her husband.
"I alwas do, darlin'. But I'll be back next week. And then, the week after that, huge party when you get the hell outta here."
Jax smiled at that, having never been so thrilled about something in his entire life. When he got out, his life was going to be his again. And no one was going to take it away. No one.
"Okay Mom, I'll see you then." He leaned across the table to give her a kiss. She waved goodbye. As he was being led back to his cell, Jax cross paths with his step-father, Clay Morrow. They shared a nod. Fourteen days, he kept telling himself as he walked back to the cell. Fourteen more days.