Title: Banana Phone

Author: Mrs Chipmunk

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: LOST belongs to JJ Abrams and Banana Phone belongs to Dave Teatro and Raffi.

Summary: Sawyer is haunted by strange music on the island.

WARNING: Do NOT read this fic if you haven't seen the short cartoon Banana Phone by Dave Teatro. You can view it at Newgrounds, or do a Google search for Banana Phone. I tried to keep this story as close as possible to the toon, but I did change a few small things, namely the ending because I couldn't bring myself to have Jack killed. Hope you enjoy it anyway.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to everyone who reviews, as well as the people who reviewed Chapter 1 of Lost: The Musical. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I'm just too damn lazy.

Now, on to the story...

One day, Sawyer sat in his tent on the beach when suddenly, strange music started to play.

:Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Banana Phone!:

Figuring someone had somehow managed to get a radio to work or found a battery-powered stereo, he ignored it for a while. After the same song played over and over again for well over an hour, he got fed up with it and when to see where the strange song was coming from. The only person currently in that area of the beach was Charlie, so he figured the music was coming from him.

"Think you could turn it down a little, hobbit boy?"

Charlie looked perplexed. "Turn what down?"

"That music, smartass," replied Sawyer curtly.

"In case you haven't noticed, mate, we're on an island with no radio or even any bloody electricity! How could I possibly have music playing?"

Just then, Jack showed up, which was fortunate because Sawyer was getting pretty angry. "What's going on, guys?" he asked.

"Sawyer's being weird," replied Charlie.

"You hear it, don't you, Doc? That music? It's gotta be coming from around here somewhere..."

Jack and Charlie shared a confused look. "No, I can't say that I do."

Sawyer gave a frustrated sigh. "All right, fine. You guys win; you got me. It was really damn funny, now just keep it down."

"Sure, mate, whatever you say..." said Charlie.

Sawyer turned to go back to his tent. "Banana Phone?" he pondered aloud, "What the hell?"

Charlie and Jack shrugged off Sawyer's strange behavior and went about their business.

Ten hours later, they found Sawyer in his tent, rocking back and forth in the fetal position and twitching uncontrollably. Charlie and Jack were seriously worried now; maybe Sawyer wasn't joking after all. He just stared off into space, and no matter what Charlie and Jack tried, they couldn't snap him out of it.

After a while, Sawyer stopped twitching – then he fell over.

"Oh my God!" cried Charlie. "Is he dead?"

Jack moved to check his pulse. "He's alive," he said. "We should get help."

"Help!" exclaimed Charlie. "You're the doctor! You should know what to do!"

"Well I don't! I –"

:I've got this feeling, so appealing, for us to get together and sing...:

Jack's expression went blank.

"Jack?" asked Charlie. "You okay, man?"

"What? Yeah, ummm, I'm fine...just fine...shut up, shut up!"

"Oh my God, you hear it now too, don't you?"

"It – it's nothing. Just let me get some help." He made his way toward the opening of the tent, which Charlie was blocking. "We just need to get help now."

"Hell no!" Jack made to move Charlie out of the way, but Charlie pushed him back.

"Don't –"

:Ring ring ring ring...:

"Oh crap, Charlie, I—"

"You bastard!" cried Charlie! He advanced on Jack, and just as Jack was preparing to defend himself against the infuriated, crazy hobbit, Locke showed up behind Charlie, whapped him over the head with a big stick, whapped Jack, and the curse of the Banana Phone was ended.

Or was it!

Crappy ending, I know. I like Jack to much to have him killed and Charlie to much to have him kill Jack. Please R&R anyway.