The Mutant Harry Potter Chronicles VI
Hagrid is a douche bag
Hagrid hating cleaning the shit boxes at Hogwarts but since the layoffs the job had fallen in his lap. The boy's room was the worst, the smell in there and the level of shit smashed onto the walls was enough to make even a giant like him cry. But today was the girl's room to clean and it was not as bad, plus he loved sniffing the freshly used seat rims when the girls were done using them.
Pushing his mop aside Hagrid opened up the trash lid and pulled out the bag, examining it for treasures like he always does, but today he noticed something he had never seen before laying at the bottom.
Pushing his hand into the bag a tampon stuck to his elbow, but he ignored it for he would save that beautiful morsel for later. Grabbing hold of the plastic bottle he yanked it from the bag and looked at it with his head tilted like a dog. Slowly he moved it around causing the remaining liquid at the bottom to slosh around.
Putting his nose to the douche Hagrid liked the smell and then tilted the bottle to his lips and drank the rest of the contents. Licking his lips and letting out a bellowing yummy Hagrid stuffed the douche bottle in his pocket and went back to work, singing to himself, treasures, treasures, every were, so I am a man of riches.
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