Just Give Me a Reason
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to the wonderful JK Rowling and the Song belongs to P!NK
Now you've been talking in your sleep,
Oh, Oh, things you never say to me
Oh, Oh, tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love
Ginny woke slowly woke up and looked over at the man next to her tossing and turning in his sleep mumbling in the throes of one of his nightmares. Even though it had been years since the war he still suffered from them on occasion. She gently moved her hand to sooth his hair like she used to do to pull him out and instead he jerked away from her. She felt the tears slowly well up in her eyes and she forced them back. It seemed as though as of late that they have been growing slowly apart.
She didn't know really at this point what to do. In a few hours Lily, their youngest child was to leave for Hogwarts and she would be completely alone. She had recently left the Hollyhead Harpies in a happy retirement and Harry worked long hours being the Head of the DMLE. A small sigh left her as she looked over and saw her husband's thrashing had stopped and he was once more in peaceful slumber.
She cast a quick tempus to check the time and saw it was four in the morning so she decided to go ahead and get up for the morning and start breakfast for the family and get the start of everything ready for the trip to King's Cross. She took a quick shower and started making a quick full English refusing to dwell on her failing marriage because today was supposed to be a happy occasion for their children as they made their trip back to school.
Oh, Oh Used to lie so close to me
Oh, Oh there's nothing more than empty sheets
Between Our Love, Our Love
Harry woke with a start, the first rays of the morning light waking him from his slumber. He looked over at the empty side of the bed where his wife would normally lay and touched the cool surface showing she had been gone for a while now. A sigh left him as his heart clenched. He had felt the shift in their relationship for a while now. It felt as though there was so much between them that it was forming a deep chasm that he was unable to cross. He clenched his fists in the blankets over him and took a deep breath. Right now there was nothing he could do. He needed to focus on the kids and help getting them ready for the school term.
At that thought his heart clenched yet again. He hated to think it but he knew that the kids seemed the only thing that was keeping his marriage together at this point. Ginny seemed so distance and so far away from him. Everything in his life seemed to have reached a stalemate. His job was no longer something he looked forward to each day and seemed like a repetitive cycle of paperwork, court cases and more paperwork. His marriage was growing stale and his children were going to be all gone from the house today and he felt completely lost and hopeless.
He truly did not know what he could do. A sad smile graced his face as he slowly got up from bed. He took a quick shower and went downstairs to the wonderful smells of a nice warm meal. When he entered the dining room he saw Ginny already sitting there and Lily and Albus had already claimed the seats next to her. He took a seat next to his daughter who was his mother's namesake and helped himself to some toast and tomatoes, sausages, beans and eggs. He looked over at his wife who had a smile plastered on her face but he could see the slight pain in her eyes and his heart clenched once again knowing he was part of the reason it was there.
He forced himself to smile and looked as he looked at her, "Thanks Gin breakfast looks lovely."
He saw her gaze focus on him and nodded her head before turning back to her plate. Lily looked up happily and started rapidly firing off questions about Hogwarts that Harry was having a hard time processing. Albus let out a groan seeing as the past few days the girl had been super inquisitive in her excitement, "Lils you are going there today. You will see when we're there."
Ginny looked up then a stern look crossing her face as she sent it at her son, "Albus, she is excited just as you were there is no need to be rude to your sister."
The boy had an annoyed look cross his face, "But Mum she's been at it for days."
Harry looked over at his daughter who had a down trodden look on her face as she used her fork to roll the beans around her plate. He gently ruffled her hair, "It's magical Lily, and you will see all that magic soon. You will love it and I am sure you will make a lot of friends and learn a lot."
A wide smile broke across her face as she looked adoringly at her father, "Do you think I'll fight a three headed dog too, Dad?"
Harry let out a small laugh as his school adventures and misadventures crossed his mind before he patted her gently on the shoulder, "Let's hope you won't be running into any Dogs or Dark Lords."
A small pout crossed her face and she turned back to her breakfast. A set of feet stomping down the stairs alerted the family to James' arrival as he slid into a spot next to Albus and piled his plate with food a scowl across his face as he angrily stabbed one of his sausages and sent a glare to his brother next to him who was trying and failing to hide a smirk. Ginny frowned slightly at the display of her older son, "James, there is no need to be in such a sour mood."
He replied by stabbing another sausage and looking up at his mother, "There bloody well is Mum, just as the prick next to me why."
Ginny puffed up reminding Harry of his dear Mother-in-Law, her face going slightly red, "JAMES SIRIUS POTTER," she said in a slightly elevated voice before taking a deep breath to calm herself some before she continued, "that is not the way to talk at the table nor the way to speak to your brother. Drop the attitude this instant."
James scowled down at his plate and mumbled out, "Sorry Mum, but Albus did start it."
She then focused her attention on her other son, "Albus what is your brother talking about."
Albus turned an innocent expression at his mother, "It was just a harmless prank I promise. I know Jamie has a hard time waking up so I just charmed water to fall on him this morning. I was just trying to help, honest."
She shook her head at her children's antics the stood up and cleaned up her plate, "Apologize to your brother Albus and James stop moping and eat your breakfast we have to leave in an hour. All three of you are packed right?"
The children quickly mumbled their affirmatives as she bustled out of the room.
You're holding it in
You're pouring a drink
They had just gotten home from taking the children to the station. The air hung heavy between them with all of the tension. Ginny glanced at Harry briefly before stating simply, "I think I'm going to go visit George for a bit and Ron if he's there."
Harry looked over at her and her stiff posture, "Of course, you don't need my permission to see your brothers."
She glanced over at him a mix of emotions in her eyes, "I'm not sure when I'll be back probably later on. I'll see you then."
She then headed towards the fireplace where they kept the floo and Harry headed to his study, worry clouding his face. He sat down with a sigh in his chair and summoned his bottle of Muggle Scotch to him and a tumbler before pouring himself a glass. He swirled it around staring at the amber liquid for a minute before bringing it up to his lips. He truly did not know how to fix this. A sigh left him before he pulled out a muggle cellphone that had been reworked by Hermione's ingenious to work around magic.
He quickly dialed his bushy haired friends number and held the device to his ear as he waited for her to respond which she did promptly on the third ring, "Hello Harry, we just saw you and Gin at the station is everything ok?"
He let out a sigh, "Mione, at this point I don't think it is. I really could use some of your advice right now."
There was a pause on the phone and he heard her let out a breath before she responded, "Of course Harry. I'll be there shortly."
A sad smile crossed his face as he looked down at the ring on his finger that seemed at this point to be gleaming tauntingly at him, "Thanks Mione."
"Of course Harry, now give me just a moment I'll be there via floo."
The line went dead and he then poured himself another tumbler of the scotch and sat there swirling it around in the glass which he then thought was pretty fitting due to all the emotions swirling around inside of him. He felt the wards shift slightly alerting him of an entry which he knew to be one of his best friends and probably the best one to help him in this situation. He loved Ron dearly but when it came to emotions and his sister he tended to be more than likely to combust than to be any actual help.
Soon enough his bushy haired friend was making her way into his office, her curls pulled back and her wand tucked behind her ear and a look of worry on her ear. She sat down in front of him and he summoned another tumbler for her and poured her a glass as she leaned back in the seat in front of him. He saw the gears whirling in her head as he knew she was trying to puzzle everything out before she spoke. A sad smile crossed her features as her eyes seemed to hold a knowing look, "What's wrong, Harry?"
He looked at her sadly before a sigh left his lips and he looked down at his glass swirling the liquid once again trying to find the words to best describe everything as of late, "I need your advice. I feel like everything between Gin and I is going stale, and I'm scared I'm going to lose her. I don't want to but at the same time I don't feel happy anymore with anything and I can tell she is feeling the same way."
He looked up at his friend and saw the tears swimming in her eyes, "Oh Harry," she said as she gently grasped his hand that wasn't holding onto the glass, "Have you tried talking to her?"
He shook his head in the negative and looked at her, "I'm scared to Mione, I'm scared the moment I voice everything and acknowledge what is happening it's going to be the end of it. I don't want to lose her but at the same time I want her to be happy. My life its stale. I hate my job, my wife is so distant that I feel as though she is a stranger and my kids are all gone to school and I don't know what to do anymore."
Hermione smiled sadly at him, "Honestly Harry, I think the best thing to do here is talk to her. Tell her what you are telling me now. If you two are to work it out, you both need to talk. Remember that rocky patch Ron and I had a while back. All the explosive arguments and everything, it took work to get through it and to get to where we are now. I think that's what you and Ginny are going to have to do. Sometimes things have to reach that point for them to either go back together stronger than before or for them to break away."
He smiled sadly at his friend, "I guess you're right. I'll try to talk to her tonight then when she gets back."
No, nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll come clean
Ginny found herself coming home to smells of a cooked meal. Shock colored her face as she realized Harry must have made them dinner, at the most she thought he would have ordered out due to how much he despised cooking due to how those Muggles raised him. She slowly made way into the dining room and saw a simple roast was prepared and Harry sat at the table waiting for her. He looked up at her and she could see so many emotions in his eyes that it made her heart hurt and she knew her expression must have mirrored his because he looked down at his plate to look away.
She slowly sat down and fixed herself a plate, "What is all this for Harry?" she looked back up to him the confusion reading in her eyes.
He took a moment to respond as he rolled a carrot around on his plate, "Gin, I think we need to talk about a lot of things."
She was a bit shocked having thought she would have to be the one to break whatever was hanging between them. She focused on her plate as she slowly responded, "I agree, I think we do too."
She then looked up at him any appetite she had leaving her with the conversation she knew they were about to have. She pushed back the tears that she knew were waiting to break free. She didn't want to lose this man in front of her but she knew she might have to. She was at a loss at what to think. She was broken from her internal musing at the sound of his voice breaking the silence once again, "I love you Gin, I really do. Though as of late it feels as though you are the furthest thing from me. I don't know at this point what to do. I feel lost. Everything is losing its glamour. I hate my job and the kids are away now for most of the year and you feel like you are so out of my reach that it hurts. I want things to work but I also want us to be happy. I don't want to lose you but at the same time if that is what needs to be done then I will step aside."
Ginny swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, "I'm sorry Harry, I don't mean to be distant. Just, everything has been happening so fast and not fast enough for me. Before everything was chaotic, but it was a lovely chaotic. I had my games, I had you and the kids. Now though, I've retired and like you said the kids are gone most of the year now and we both have seemed so far away from each other that I don't know what to do with myself."
A bitter laugh left the man in front of her's throat, "Look at us Gin, we both hate where we are. How could it come to this?"
She felt a sad smile in response, "I think honestly our life has lost its adventure. Everything at the start was always running and something was always happening. We were in a war, our careers after that were full of danger in their own respective ways. Maybe we just don't know how to love each other without that constant fear in our lives."
She felt the tears finally break free as she decided to say the next part, "Maybe its best we give each other some space." She looked at him and saw the heartbreak reflect in his eyes, "I'll go stay with Mum for a bit and maybe in a while we can revisit everything. Maybe all we need is space." She then stood up from the table and rushed from the room as Harry sat back hurt in his eyes not knowing what he could do to fix the mess he now found himself in.
Just give me a reason
Just a little bits enough
It had been two weeks, two long and lonely weeks since he had last seen her. He had decided drastically to quit his Job. He found himself currently sitting in his office, the bedroom was too painful, drowning his sorrows in a mixture of muggle and wizard liquor. He was a mess and was completely lost and broken. He sat there his head pounding as the sun glared at him through his window and tried to contemplate what to do. He felt a pull on the wards signaling the arrival of a friend or family member and let out a groan.
A head of familiar bushy hair peaked around the corner before the woman said hair belonged to let out a shout down the hall, "I found him in his office!" he let out a moan of pain and held gripped his head as the woman made her way in the office followed shortly by one of the people he had been afraid to see since Ginny left.
"Ya know," the other visitor said, sitting down on the bench in front of the window the said sun was glaring from, the man's long and freckled nose crinkled slightly, "moping about isn't gonna do you any good mate." The man then lounged back across the bench situating himself to a more comfortable position.
The woman let out a huff and rolled her eyes at her husband while pushing a lock of wayward hair out of her face, "Honestly Ron, hush." She then fixed her eyes on the unkempt man behind the desk, "Harry, you need to stop hiding away. We're here to clean you up."
He looked at both of his friends as they made themselves comfortable in what he was using as a safe haven to wallow in his sorrows, "What reason do I have to clean up for. I don't have a job and I pretty much lost my wife. What purpose do I have?" his voice started to escalate, "I'll tell you my purpose ended when Voldemort fell!" his voice then began to crack, "Tell me, what do I have to live for." His shoulders than began to shake as a dry sob broke out of his throat.
Hermione was quickly on her feet making her way around the desk and Ron following her to do the same and they both shockingly pulled him into a hug, "Oh Harry," the witch said, "you have plenty to live for. We're here to help you get it back. Honestly both of you are too stubborn for your own good and your both miserable without the other. Now Molly wants you to come to supper and she said you are not to say no."
Harry having calmed let out a sigh and a small shudder knowing that if he didn't show she would come here herself and pull him to her house. He let out a watery smile towards his friends and Hermione fished around in her robes before handing him a small vial, "Hangover Potion," she said brusquely, "take that and then go clean yourself up."
He quickly followed her instructions knowing not to test the woman from years of experience. Once his friends deemed him acceptable they pulled him with them to The Burrow. He looked stumbled out into the familiar sitting room as several memories through the years bombarded him. Hermione tugged on his hand pulling him through the familiar path to the kitchen while talking to both him and Ron, "She said it's to be out in the garden so we can enjoy the last bit of nicer weather before winter fully kicks in. Oh right," she quickly cast a small warming charm on all three of them even though they were dressed a bit warmer due to the autumn chill.
Harry lost focus on the ramblings of his friends after he first made his way into the garden. She was standing casting a spell to put fairy lights around the sitting area, her brilliant red hair shined in the sunlight seeming to gleam gold in some parts while her nose did the cute little scrunch when she concentrated that he used to always tell her made her look like a rabbit. He felt his heart skip a beat before it started to pound fully in his chest. He hadn't felt so alive in such a long time and he never felt so sure of what he wanted in that moment.
He quickly strode forward towards her and stopped next to her, "Do you need any help Gin?"
She gave a quick jump and turned quickly facing him her wand pointed quickly at his chest before she lowered it and glared at him, "Don't startle me like that you brute!" she poked him in the chest and he couldn't help the small chuckle that left, "Don't laugh either," she then pouted, "If you want to help then help or are you going to keep gawking at me." She then threw a wink at him and it was his turn to blush a little.
He quickly began to help her with the fairy lights fearing if he pushed too far he might find himself at the end of one of her famous bat bogey hexes. They stood there in silence for a bit neither one realizing the rest of the family had gone into the house to give the couple some privacy. He looked over at her the sun having set and the lights casting a soft glow around them, "You know, I've missed you." His heart felt heavy and he felt afraid, "I really don't want to give you up and well, if you want to we can try again."
He saw her freeze, her back was too him as she was rearranging a cluster of lights, she then turned to face him tears swimming in her eyes but not quite falling, "I've missed you too. I don't want to give up either but, I do expect you to romance me all over again, Mr. Potter." She said the last part with a teasing lilt in her voice.
He smiled at her walking closer and pulled her to him, "Of course Mrs. Potter, I would do anything for you."
He looked into her eyes that he knew held his heart and his very soul feeling more complete in that moment and leaned down gently brushing his lips against hers. She smiled into the kiss pulling him closer to her and deepening it from the innocent brush she knew he intended. They both knew they both needed a lot of work and there were still several underlying reasons that in time they will be able to fix they just both had to put a bit of faith in the other and learn to rely on each other more than what they had before. After all to be with the one you truly loved is reason enough to work out the kinks.
Oh, It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars of our hearts
We're not broken
Just bent, and we can learn to love again