Hi! Ok, not everything was going to be rainbows and butterflies in my Romy fics; nope. I gotta say I'm really excited about this fic; It popped up inside my head about a month ago, while I was still writing "Friday Night", and now I can finally start to write it. Please gimme your reviews! I need them so bad! Remember I'm still learning English. (P.S.: I don't own any of the song I use in this fic; yeah, what a shock. This time, we'll go with a little bit of Green Day).

Chapter 1: But never forgets what I lost.

September 1st, 2007.

"It's still rainin'; Gawd, when is it gonna stop?"…

…here comes the rain again
falling from the stars…

"Is it gonna rain forever?"...
…drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are...

"Ah'm so cold"…

(…)

"Ah'm still on mah bed, an' Ah do nothin' but starin' at the ceiling. Ah wonder what time is it; maybe 9 or 10 am. All Ah know is that Ah've been like this since before dawn. Ah felt like the night's darkness and the coldness were oppressin' me, an' Ah desperately wanted the sun to arrive, but now that it did, Ah feel pretty much the same. Sometimes Ah imagine that the bed an' the sheets swallow me, an' Ah can finally stop thinkin'; 'cause Ah don' wanna think, Ah don' wanna move, Ah just wanna… yeah, what do Ah really want? To die, to never have been born? Nah, maybe what Ah'd like to do is to turn back time; not fo' too long, only, let's say, a month. Ah picture in mah head that Ah'm actually doin' it, other times, an' then Ah can change all this.

Ah like it when Ah'm able to cry; sometimes Ah can't, 'cause Ah find mahself like Ah have no strength for it. But when Ah can, it's weird, but Ah feel a little bit relieved. Ah was doin' it a while ago, so my ears are still wet; but Ah'm calmed now. An' Ah decide to close mah eyes, an' to put both of mah hands on mah chest, an' then Ah can feel its beating...

What should Ah do now? Should Ah get up? What fo', anyway? Ah'm still gonna stay here in mah bedroom, 'cause Ah don' wanna see anyone; Ah don' wanna feel on me their pity gazes. Ah know they only wanna help an' be nice, but Ah just can't stand it. Yeah, Ah'm just gonna stay here. Now that Ah'm sittin', Ah can see the clock: it's 8:55 am; it's really crazy the way time goes by so slow now.

…Summer has come and passed,

the innocent can never last,

Wake me up when September ends…

…

Ah heard a knock on the door a while ago, an' when Ah noticed it, it was like Ah was slept with eyes open, an' suddenly woke up.

"Rogue? Can I come in?" Ah heard on the other side of the door, but Ah didn't answer, 'cause Ah knew she'd come in anyway. It was Jean. She usually comes at that hour, an' though it kinda bugs me that she don' seem to have anythin' better to do every damn mornin', deep inside Ah appreciate it.

"Hello, good morning, how do you feel?", she asked; even though it's early in the mornin', she looks like she already spent two hours dressin' and combin' her hair and puttin' her make up on, like someone's gonna take photos of her for Cosmopolitan's cover. It always reminds me of the way we tend to forget things that are really important in life, the things that actually worth our time, our interest, an' we trade them for superficial things that we think are gonna make us feel better 'bout ourselves. To her question, Ah only nodded.

"Really?" she murmured, looking at me from head to feet, lying on the bed like some lifeless thing. "See, I brought you some breakfast: it's a sandwich, an apple, and orange juice, ok?" She put it on the little table next to mah bed. "I'm sorry I didn't prepare anything better, but I'm in a hurry right now." They're gonna get marry, Jean an' Scott, an' they're preparin' everythin' for the wedding an' stuff. Then, she sat on the bed next to me; she had that worried look on her eyes Ah already know very well.

"Did you take your pill already? No? Ok, I'm going to put it right here, next to the juice, and please don't forget about it. It's true that now that you… absorbed Logan, you healed completely, but only on your body. Rogue, I'm so concern about the way you feel, the way your mind is. I know you don't like us to, but I am; why don't you try therapy with the professor again? Or with me; I'm totally up to it, you know that".

Why? 'Cause it wasn't helpin' me one bit. But Ah just answered:

"Ah didn't want to absorb him".

"You needed it to heal, Rogue. You know it was himself who insisted on it, and..."

"Thanks for the food" Ah interrupted her; Ah'd had enough chat for one day. She sighed.

"Well, if you need anything, just let us know, ok?" This time she didn't tell me for the nth time to go out the house, which really surprised me; then, she left. Maybe she was gonna choose the flowers for her bouquet, the table-clothes colours, or the type of wine they're gonna have.

It's midday now; time has gone by so slow that Ah'm seriously considerin' throwing away that damn clock. Ah ate half of the sandwich; maybe Ah'll go to the kitchen at night, to get some cereal or somethin'. The pill, Ah haven' taken it yet; it's supposed to make me feel more relaxed, an' it does, but when Ah take two or three Ah fall asleep immediately. It's still right there, next to the glass. Now, should Ah take one, an' stay the rest of the afternoon the same way Ah spent this crappy morning? Or should Ah get two, an' finally stop thinkin', at least for a while? Mmm, hard choice. In the drawer; the rest of the pills are here in the drawer. Aha! Here yah're. But then, Ah don' wanna go to sleep right away; not without lookin' at it again. Ah pass a hand under mah pillow, an' there it is: the queen of hearts card he gave me. It has no wrinkles. It's still intact, just like time hasn't passed by since that day. Is this all that's left of us, this piece o' paper?... No, no, no; don' be stupid Rogue. Yah know yah'll always love him, an' that's gonna stay with yah forever. Forever… that's such a big word; Ah feel like Ah can't handle it; it seems so far away, so infinite. It overwhelms me, Ah can't… Ah'll just take the damn pills; yeah, three of them…

Once they're in, Ah lie on mah bed again. Ah feel kinda dizzy…"

…As my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends…".