Honestly, I don't like puppyshipping too much, but I know a lot of my readers do, so I wrote a thing. Even though I don't really ship it, it's really fun to write them clashing with each other. I tried to keep them as in-character as I could, so...*shrug* It was difficult, but I think I succeeded. Enjoy, guys.

"Hey, Kaiba…"

Jounouchi is my rival.

"I was wondering…"

And my lover.

"Does it feel good when you enter me?"

And sometimes he takes me completely by surprise.

"Well…yeah. Of course it does, stupid." I remark, not even glancing up at him from my work. Really, the things he says sometimes. No matter how long or how well I end up knowing him, he still is able to come up with things I never expect him to say or do. Like now. He's a complete idiot, and he only proves his dim-wit by asking me such an outrageous question. After all, if it didn't feel good, I wouldn't lower myself so much as to actually have sex with him, would I?

He kept silent, not bothering to explain his sudden interest. Curiosity started to flare in me, so I let out a long, worn sigh. Setting my pen down, I looked up to see him on the couch in my corporate office; his torso hanging over the arm, eyes peering at me upside down. What a fucking dork. Who the hell sits like that? Wasn't blood pooling in his head?

"Why?" I finally asked, getting irritated when I saw that he showed no signs of responding (but that is what he wanted, of course. I'm was sure he lived to piss me off.) "Is it that you want to try it for once?"

Jounouchi looked away from me, his face darkening a little. My jaw almost fell open. Oh…Well, I guess that wasn't so shocking. After all, he was a virgin in that sense (no matter how he tried to pretend otherwise.) So of course he's bound to be interested. It was perfectly normal. I understood completely, but…the thought of Jounouchi holding someone else… I didn't really want to think about that.

But it's not like I can keep him from doing what he wants. We weren't in a relationship – were we? I mean, we didn't particularly like each other or anything, but we do end up having sex. A lot. I don't know what that makes us. Sex-friends? But we're not even friends. Like I'd really want to be part of the nerd-herd anyway. Plus, he annoys the shit out of me, and I know he's not so fond of me, either. So why were we fucking, again? Because it felt good. Hate sex, then? No, I didn't full on hate Jou, but…

Once. It's all right if he does it with someone else just once. Just this one time.

"I understand." I said, leaning back in my chair. He looked back to me, frowning.

"Wha—"

"As much as I don't really want to, I'll introduce you to some trustworthy people."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, rich boy." Jou said, sitting up and turning to stare at me. "Back up a second. What are you sayin'?"

"Well…you want to try having sex with a woman or something, right?"

"Try to ha—?!" Jou started heatedly. He stood up quickly, his eyebrows coming together; looking flustered and angry all at once. "No! What the hell, man?! I just meant that I wanted to try topping you! What the fuck were ya thinkin' about me doin'?! You want me to have an affair?! Sex is that kind of thing you do with someone you won't regret, not some random—I mean, if you put some big-breasted girl in front of me…well, okay, I could probably do it, but still—! I mean; there's not much point in that is there? It has to be you, dumbass!"

"You…want to…?" I also got to my feet, splaying my hands flat on my desk. "You want to stick it in me?!"

"Of course I do!"

"Like hell, you bastard!" I shouted. "Why on earth would I let a mutt like you climb on top of me?!"

"Because it's fair play! You always stick it in my ass! I want a turn!"

"Not on me, you're not!"

"You're such a fucking pussy!" Jou yelled.

"You're just angry because I won't be your pussy!"

"Damn straight I am!" Jou flipped his middle finger to me before turning on his heel, walking to the door. "See if I let you screw me again, fucker!" Then he was gone, the door slamming shut behind him. I kicked my chair, letting it fall to the floor with a loud clatter.

See what I mean? He was beyond irritating! I couldn't stand being around him for too long. It's like his stupidity rots my own brain cells. He said he'd never have sex with me again, but I didn't worry. I knew he'd be back. That was just how we worked. No matter how angry we were or how much we disliked each other, we always ended up clashing back together. Driven by the need to feel good again. I wasn't worried about it one single bit.

But, god; his accent really stood out when he was angry. It was so sexy.