Secrets travel fast in Paris. - Napoleon Bonaparte
When JJ boards the jet, she doesn't tell a soul. She has a feeling that Hotch knows, but she won't confirm anything for him. The less who know, the better. One word, and this could all be over. One word, and she could be killed. If JJ learned anything about Ian Doyle when they were searching for Emily, it's that he will do anything he can to find his son. And with her last breath, Emily had refused to tell him where Declan was. If Ian suspected Emily was alive, he would find her, without question, and he would go through JJ to do it.
Instead of thinking, JJ tries to make herself comfortable. She tries to relax. She has eight hours to go, and if she spends them all like this, she'll go crazy. After double-checking to be sure she has all of Emily's things, JJ tries to put the idea that she could be followed out of her head.
Instead, she thinks of the last conversation she had with Emily. Held just a week ago, it was very short, and via disposable cell phone. JJ knew Emily was using one on her end, too. It was dangerous to be in contact, but she had to be sure Emily would be at the right place at the right time for the drop off.
There were no formalities, only necessary information:
"Yes?"
"So, you'll be ready?"
"Absolutely."
"Okay. Nothing's changed. It'll happen just like we discussed."
"Understood." Emily fell silent momentarily. "How was…the event?" she hedged.
JJ had closed her eyes. Was she really having a conversation with Emily about her funeral? "It was very nice," she offered, not wanting to give any more information. "I have to go-"
"-Wait! How is…?" Emily had interjected, sounding alarmed. But she couldn't seem to articulate any further.
"It's different…sadder…" JJ allowed, guessing that Emily was asking about the team. She hated that she was stuck with generalities to explain the complexity of grief they were all dealing with. Hadn't she just left Reid behind at the house, with some excuse about a work call? Hadn't he been a total mess? Hadn't she visited Garcia's to find her in bed when it was the middle of the day? She and Emily's kitten, Sergio, wrapped around each other for comfort. Rossi was the only one who seemed to take Emily's loss in stride. Derek was angry and poured himself into work, and Seaver walked around shell-shocked, according to reports from Hotch. "Okay?" she asked.
"Yes," Emily replied when they both knew she wasn't.
She tossed the phone, and from there, it had been a race against the clock. Taking her own car, JJ had driven the speed limit until she noticed a strange car tailing her. JJ had done her best to casually lose it, but when its driver flashed a fake badge at her, she knew it was go-time. He chased her for miles until she lost him driving through a construction site, where a beam broke his windshield and stopped him in his tracks. JJ sped off, eventually leaving her own vehicle for a different car in a specific parking garage for which she had the keys. In the trunk was the go-bag, which included a wig and sunglasses.
She had shaken as she completed the drive, remembering how she'd had to step on the gas to avoid being rear-ended. JJ had done her best, but he had still managed to very nearly run her off the road.
It's no wonder she is so shaky on the way to Paris.
For once, though, things go according to plan. The jet lands and JJ makes quick work of finding her next vehicle, and the cell phone in the glove box.
"7th Arrondissemont. Rue de L'Universite. The café by the Vendange Royale."
Fighting with the traffic, JJ can see why all the tourist information advises against driving yourself. It takes longer than it should. Though she knows she shouldn't, when everything is at a standstill, JJ sends coded text messages to Emily.
M carried you.
There were flowers.
D is okay.
S, shocked.
R and PG are so sad.
H is focused.
I'll miss you.
Finally, she arrives. She parks a good distance away and then just walks to where she knows Emily is waiting. She slows her pace on purpose, wanting to make this last as long as it can. Now that the danger has passed, all JJ can feel is deep sadness and loss. Suddenly she understands just how her team feels, believing Emily is beyond their reach. JJ knows Emily is the figure behind the newspaper. Her heartbeat speeds up, anticipating the face she'll see for the first time in so many months. This isn't going to be long enough.
Before she knows it, JJ has arrived at the table where Emily is sitting. She sits, taking a second - as long as she dares - to look at her friend. She is pale and thin. Her brown eyes look sad and haunted, but she is determined.
JJ speaks first: "Passports from three different countries and a bank account in each to keep you comfortable."
As Emily reaches for the folder of documents, JJ notices her fingernails, bitten so far down they're bleeding. Emily doesn't know that it has taken all of JJ's self-control not to learn all of her aliases. To memorize all of the countries where she might reside. She will have only a phone number to contact her in the case of an emergency. The only emergency that qualifies is if Emily's location or identity is compromised. JJ prays that will not happen. And with the next breath, she prays it will, because otherwise this will be the last time they will ever see each other.
"Thank you," Emily says.
JJ looks at her for a second longer than necessary, memorizing her face and every detail of her appearance and her being so that JJ will not forget her.
"Good luck," she answers.
Taking the statement as the permission it isn't, Emily rises and walks past JJ, as if they are no more than business associates. JJ knows the Eiffel Tower is behind her, and imagines Emily walking toward it and all its brilliance.
Emily deserves to see such a sight as she heads off to her new life.
For a few more moments, JJ sits, picking up the paper Emily discarded and noticing for the first time that it's an American paper. And it's turned to the crossword at the back of the paper.
Instead of filling it in according to the clues, Emily has done her own version, writing whatever words fit, and burying messages in the puzzle itself.
JJ scans it and sees a handful of words, in Emily's careful hand:
LOVE ALL.
MISS HOME.
REMEMBER ME.
