This is the first chapter of my collection of Roy and Co. themes drabbles. Enjoy!

No pairings this time.

Warning, there's a bit of mild language.

Disclaimer: I live in the US, therefore I cannot be Hiromu Arakawa.

Roy looked up from his dreaded paperwork as someone knocked on his door. "Come in." He said as he put his pen down and flexed his cramped hand, grateful for a much needed break.

Edward Elric opened the door and walked into the room. He slumped down into a chair infront of Roy's desk and yawned. "Back."

"So, how did it go?" Roy inquired, looking at the teen over his folded hands. "How much damage did you cause this time?"

Ed mumbled something inaudible before closing his eyes.

"Wha?"

Ed opened an eye to glare at his commanding officer and raised his voice. "Not much. Everythings good, I didn't break anything. Yada yada."

Roy nodded, satisfied. "Good. I expect your full report in writing tomorrow."

"Fine." Ed mumbled, closing his eyes again.

A wide grin spread across Roy's face as he saw an oppertunity. "Hey Ed...want a drink?" He asked, standing up and walking over to the mini-fridge in the corner.

"Sure." Ed responded.

Roy smirked and opened the fridge up, taking out a glass bottle. "Here you go." He said and set it down in front of the teen.

Edward opened one of his eyes and grabbed the bottle, mumbling thanks. He was too tired to notice what exactly Roy had given him.

He took a sip, and set it down, thinking a moment before looking back down at the bottle. "What the—MUSTANG YOU BASTARD!" He yelled, now fully awake. "You gave me fucking milk!"

Roy tried unseccesfully to hide his wide smirk. "Did I?"

Edward jumped up, his automail leg hit the desk, making the milk fall over and spill...right onto the almost finished paperwork "Yes you did, you egotistic bastard! I'm gonna kill you!" He screamed and lunged at Roy, who just stood there, staring wide-eyed at the now soaked pile of paper.

He managed to snap out of it in time to dodge the flying chibi, who slammed head first into his chair.

"Think positively Fullmetal, milk is supposed to make you taller." He chuckled, dodging another one of the blonde teen's blows.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE WOULD FALL INTO A GLASS OF MILK AND DROWN AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE BECAUSE HE WAS SO INSIGNIFINTELY MINISCULE?!"

It was at that moment that Hawkeye pushed open the door. "Sir, is everything okay, I heard yelling and-"She stopped mid-sentance once she spotted the soaking paperwork. Her eyes narrowed angrily and she reached for her gun. Roy winced as he heard the all too familiar click of the saftey being turned off. "Sir, why is your paperwork wet?" She asked him in an icy tone, pointing her gun at his head.

Roy whimpered and covered his head as a bullet narrowly missed him. "It was Ed's fault! He spilled the milk!" He cried, pointing at the teen.

Hawkeye pointed the gun at Ed. "Is that right?"

Roy took advantage of that moment and dived under his desk. He could hear Riza's gun going off several times and Edward's yelling. "Ow! Stop that! It almost got me! It's Mustang's fault! Havoc, Fuery, help me! I'M GONNA DIIIIEEEE!"

Roy snickered, emerging from under the desk. He knew the chibi would find someway to get back at him, but it was totally worth it.

So, that was the first chapter. Review and you get cookies! :D

I'll try to post the next one in the next couple of days.

-Kateh