Broken
Jack knew it would happen one day. He would cross paths with the Doctor again. He just didn't think it would be so soon after the events with Gray. The remaining team were still trying to recover from the losses of Owen and Tosh, still trying to piece Cardiff back together and keep themselves going. Even though Jack was ever the supporting leader for the team, at night he would wake up thrashing in his bed, thinking he was still trapped below twenty feet of earth. Sometimes he thought he could feel it filling his throat, and he'd cough at the recollections of the choking sensation.
Almost two thousands years of being buried under the ground, reviving several times a day to gag and die under the soil. He could barely struggle, and his only comfort was keeping John's ring clutched below his fingers. Before that, he was a few hundred years old, now he was thousands. Thousand of which had been spent in his grave. The first few hundred times, he just accepted it, thinking of his brother, thinking of his team, thinking of John. Then the next few hundred times, he became angry. He screamed into the clogged earth for resolution, crying in earnest. That continued for another thousand years; he'd wake up, releasing his despair into the soil, praying it would make him suffocate sooner, and he'd wait for oncoming blackness as he struggled to breathe. For the last few hundred years before Torchwood unburied him, he laid in silence, numb and lifeless.
During that time, he thought if there was one person who kept an eye on the world, only one, it'd be the Doctor. If there was someone more powerful out there who could save the world, it was him. But Jack had never seen him. Not even a glimpse. Until today. Jack was sat at his office, trying to read through some documents on a recently solved Weevil attack when he caught sight of the TARDIS arriving on the Plass. Jack barely even knew what he was doing as he stood from his seat, not even grabbing his greatcoat as he strode out of his office. Gwen was sat nearby, and she looked over, calling his name in bemusement, but Jack paid her no mind. He strode upon the lift, activating the platform and allowing himself to ascend to ground level. He looked up, eyes squinting as sunlight poured in on him. Arriving into the perception filter, Jack stared across the Plass with a blank expression as the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, looking around the area with an air of reminiscence.
Jack stepped off the paving slab, eyes still upon the Doctor as he walked with purposeful strides. He barely even realised his eyes were beginning to burn with tears. The Doctor turned, a look of surprise crossing his face before he smiled brightly at noticing Jack. The Time Lord soon realised this reunion was not as warm as he anticipated, for Jack was barely a few inches from him when a fist flew out and cuffed his jaw. The Doctor staggered back under the blow, too shocked to speak as Jack grabbed him by the lapels of his suit and threw him up against the door of the TARDIS, his blue eyes blazing with unspilled tears.
The anger was too much for him to bear. For everything he had been through, for all those years of choking slowly on earth. He was now older than the Time Lord. He had suffered through so much more, and his bitterness has engulfed him. "WHERE WERE YOU?" he screamed into his face, fists not releasing the clumps of material. The Doctor barely had time to form a response before Jack bellowed at him again in demand. "WHERE WERE YOU?!"
Unfortunately, the Doctor had not witnessed the events that had happened to Torchwood, but it was painfully obvious to see that something had destroyed them, destroyed Jack. "Jack, what's happened?" he asked, belatedly realising he could taste blood in his mouth.
"You don't even know!" Jack cried, his voice a little quieter, but anger still trembling every syllable. He didn't relax his hold on the Doctor, keeping him pinned against the wooden TARDIS door. The hot tears were spilling down his face now, and he felt as though he could break entirely below the rage that had consumed him.
"Jack, please," the Doctor spoke, voice still calm. "I can help you. I'm here now."
"I don't need you now!" Jack spat, his face contorted with his resentment as his lips trembled in strain. "I needed you when I was dying, every day, every goddamn day! I needed you to save my team, I needed you to protect them!"
The Doctor was silent, not moving under Jack's grip as his gentle eyes stared into Jack's. The last time the Doctor had seen Jack, those bright blue eyes had sparkled with mischief and daring, now they were full of hurt and a longing for revenge and blame. "I'm sorry," he whispered quietly in response, unable to stop the guilt rising in him like bile. "I'm so sorry."
"NO, YOU'RE NOT" Jack screamed again, voice having jumped several octaves. "How many people have you said that to?! You're like a goddamn broken record. If you'd have been there, you wouldn't have to be sorry!"
Rendered into silence once more, the Doctor just watched him. For all the rescuing he did, for all the times he had saved people, there were always those he missed. He wanted to save everyone, he really did. Every death of an innocent broke the Doctor, for after the Time War, he had vowed to use his abilities to keep life thriving. But he had missed some of the few people he cared about. He had missed Jack. "I would've come for you," he said quietly. Jack's pain was radiating off him and the Doctor was almost soaking it in. "If I'd have known, if I'd have realised what you were going through."
"My team have been fighting in your honour," Jack growled, his tears now ceasing, but his eyes still blazing. "Now two of them are dead. That's it, Doctor, I'm no longer doing this for you. I'm doing it for them, and all the other Torchwood members who have risked their lives. We can live forever, we don't care how many times we lose this game, but they still fight, and they do it even though they know they're gonna die."
"Jack.." began the Doctor slowly, but Jack interrupted him.
"No!" Jack snapped, roughly releasing the Doctor and stepping back. "I'm done with you! I got you off the wanted list because you were an ally of Torchwood, but you can't even come to us in our hour of need." The distance was decreased again, Jack's face coming close to the Doctor's in threat. His voice had dropped dangerously low. "I protect this planet, not you, and I want you off my turf."
The Doctor looked away, restraining his own anger at that statement. He said nothing to Jack, not a word as he turned and stepped into the TARDIS, shutting the door heavily behind him. Jack stepped back slowly, eyes glaring at the blue box as it began to disappear, fading slowly until it was gone, and there was no trace of the Doctor having been stood there moments before.
Maybe Jack would change his mind in time. Maybe he would heal after everything that had happened and realise that he needed the Doctor as an ally. It could take a hundred years, a thousand, or even a millennia. But for now, Jack was done with the Doctor, and without even an utterance, he turned and strode back towards the Hub to keep doing what he always did – survive.
My first onshot in a while, and my first ever Torchwood ficlet! Please review!
