Hi there!

NC 17. Lemons... Soft lemons as in the language isn't crude, but definitely explicite enough to deserve an M rating. Mature content here (got it?), so if you don't like that, don't read. The background is just an excuse really...

Title: 'I Wish I Could Fly' - Roxette

In the Middle of the Night

One month. One full month, since I realised I'm in love with you. Since I realised that this unexplainable and magnetic draw to you goes beyond lust. I didn't recognize the feeling at first, so caught up in a whirlwind of desire as I was. I used to think that I was only seeing what I wanted to see, that this physical attraction I felt blinded me. But now I know. And truly, Matt, love differs from lust like day differs from night. I've seen you in the clear light of the sun, I've seen your flaws and vices, but my feelings haven't wavered, not even a little bit. To me, you'll always be the most beautiful human being that ever walked on this planet. Even if I never told you so.

But enough poetry my love, because right now, my situation is far from being poetic. It's more laughable than anything else in fact. Yet what wouldn't I do to please you, Matt? I've followed you all day long, and so have our friends, through the hills and the forests that led us to this beach. You've always been the driving force behind those little expeditions, you've always been in touch with nature, in a way that I still can't fully understand.

Sleeping out in the open surely seems romantic in most people's eyes. But even if this air mattress is supposed to be of the highest quality, I still can't find my way to sleep. I toss and turn on it, trying to get comfortable, but the light coming from the stars and the full moon is too strong, the sea breeze too cool, the waves too loud. All in all, I wish we'd chosen the motel. But it's a bit late to be complaining about it now. In fact, it must be really late. I don't know what time it is right now, but it's definitely long past midnight.

I've just changed position again and sighed when I hear you say my name. Not too loud, in order not to wake Dom and his girlfriend, who are sleeping about ten metres away from me, to my left. They wanted to put some space between them and us, to have some privacy, but they were both too tired out to do anything saucy anyway. They fell asleep hours ago.

I turn my head to the right, where you lie, the distance between us being more or less half the one between me and the couple. "Yeah?" I answer hesitantly, wondering if you've really called me or if it was just my imagination. I thought you were asleep as well.

But I didn't imagine it. "Are you alright over there? You keep wiggling."

How do you know that? I'm not making any noise... Thank God the mattress doesn't squeak under me when I turn around. That would be too bloody annoying. Have you been watching me?

"Can't manage to sleep," I reply. "What about you?"

"Me neither." We both stay silent for a moment and I'm starting to think that you won't say anything more but out of the blue you speak up again. "If I were you, I'd move further away from the water front."

I frown and ask you why while casting a glance back at Dom and Claire- his girlfriend- who are much closer to the sea water than me.

"The tide, dear. I doubt you'd enjoy being torn out of sleep by it."

I seriously don't think that the water will ever get that high, but I don't have to be asked twice, not when the result is getting closer to you. I sit up and roll my blanket into a ball before rising to my feet. It's summer and none of us bothered to bring pyjamas, so at night we wear only our underwears and a top. I can't help but feel a bit awkward as I drag my mattress closer to yours, knowing that with this light you can have an eyeful of my bare legs.

I drop the mattress and the blanket about a foot away from yours, turn around and go back to my initial spot to fetch the rest of my stuff. Meanwhile you've pulled my mattress towards yours, making it squeal against the pebbles that rest underneath, leaving no space in between as if it's just one big, two person mattress.

I don't complain. And when I get back to you and lie down on my right side again, wrapping my blanket tightly around me, I'm very aware of our proximity. I guess it's going to be virtually impossible for me to go to sleep now.

So I just watch you, knowing you're watching back. I can't see your eyes clearly, but I see you blink now and then. And I perceive your features, the moonlight playing on your face, silvering some parts or, on the contrary, creating hallows with shadows.

I swallow and try to start a conversation. "What about Dom and Claire?" I ask. "Don't they risk getting wet?"

You sigh and shift around a bit. "I warned Dom. But he didn't listen."

"Mmm," I absently reply, caring more about breaking the silence than your actual answer.

But the talking stops again.

The soft wind keeps blowing on us, coming from behind me, and when I have to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear for the umpteenth time, I let out a quiet sound of annoyance.

You softly chuckle at my irritated huff. "Turn around, if you're facing the wind it won't be so annoying."

And I follow your advice, rolling on the mattress and getting even closer to you in the process. While I struggle a bit with my blanket, in order to smooth it a little, one of my feet suddenly touches your leg and you jump in reaction.

"Jesus, you're freezing!" you exclaim.

"Hum, yeah, sorry. It's just my hands and my feet though."

"What sort of cover is that?" you ask me disapprovingly as I feel you palpate the fabric behind me. "Where did you buy it?"

"Why? Is there something wrong with it?" I grumble, not liking the criticism.

"It's too thin."

"We're in summer."

"In England."

I snort. "Right. I forgot your country has one of the shitiest weather in the world."

You chuckle but I feel a bit guilty. "Sorry," I say, turning my head towards my right shoulder just an inch.

"Don't apologize. You're right. We're lucky the sky is clear tonight."

Hearing the light tone of your voice, I relax again, glad not to have offended you. But, as if my body wants to aggravate my case, I shiver and curl up when a stronger gust of wind blows past us.

"C'mere," you softly say as you shield me with your own cover which, I admit, is cozier, larger, and warmed up by your body's heat.

You pull me close to you, definitely abolishing the last inches that separate us. And when I push away my blanket, now that I don't need it anymore, there's nothing but our clothes between our skins. You put your right arm over me, hugging me from behind and- wanting to milk the situation for all I can- I press my back against you. And here we lie, spooning like two lovers.

I gulp, the sound loud in my head, getting really nervous. My heart is pumping hard in my chest and my breathing is coming shorter. I'm not so sure this is a good idea, because of my feelings for you, there isn't much I can do to prevent myself from bursting into flames... More seriously, I'm afraid of what would happen if you eventually rejected me. I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to bear it. But I can bear even less the idea of not going further. And Dom has tried several times to convince me that you are feeling something in return. Now's the time to see if he is right.

Your right hand is around mine while you gently stroke the back of my fingers with your thumb. After five minutes of further contemplation, I muster up all the courage I have and I bring our hands up to my mouth to lay a light kiss on yours.

Your hand immediately dissociates from mine, worrying me at first, but it's only to let your fingers brush against my lips. Meanwhile you've buried your face in my hair, inhaling, as if you want to taste its smell. I stay still, breathing deeply, as you move my hair off of my neck before drawing the right strap of my tank top down and pressing a kiss to my shoulder.

My hand comes up to wrap around your nape whilst your mouth skims my shoulder, up to my neck, sending butterflies swarming through my insides, and stops just under my ear. You pay that small strip of skin the most exquisite attention, your talented lips- and sometimes even the tip of your tongue- drawing against my flesh with a lover's kiss.

Feeling like I could spontaneously combust any second, I swivel my face around towards yours, chasing after your mouth. You understand at once what I'm after and cup my left cheek in your hand, to accompany the movement. Next thing I know, my lips are softly pressed against yours, tasting you for the first time.

I turn around in your arms, wanting to face you, and you accidently break the kiss. A whimper of frustration slips from my lips but before I can complain any more your mouth quickly finds mine again. I don't dare moving anymore, and I'm now lying on my back while you're half next to me, half on top of me.

Without even realising it, I take your hand into mine and hold it tight against one of my breast. My entire body burns for your touch, wanting to feel you everywhere at the same time. That's all the encouragement you need. You slide your hand out from under mine, downwards, and soon enough I feel your hands under my tank top, pulling it up to expose more of my skin, and exploring what is still hidden underneath. Your hands are not cold, but my skin is just so warm right now, that yours feels cool and smooth.

Your mouth parts from mine again and you lightly trace my lips with the tip of your tongue, demanding entrance. Entrance that I'm more than willing to give. And you moan very quietly into my mouth and push your tongue into mine, sliding it past mine and into my mouth. But that soft sound is enough to send a tingling thrill straight to my core. As if something has just snapped inside me, I grab hold of your hair and push against you, wanting you on your back and myself on top.

But you won't have any of it. In a heartbeat you make us roll on the mattresses and our positions our reversed. Pinning my hands over my head, you attach your lips to mine again. Things start to get more heated when our tongues battle for supremacy, engrossed in a fight where there are only winners.

I have completely lost concept of time, and I'm not thinking anymore...until I feel your hand creep between my legs and press against my crotch. That's an electroshock.

"Mmm," I mumble against your lips. "Wait, wait, wait..."

I wriggle myself free from your weight, trying to catch my breath. You don't try to stop me and just watch me go, leaning on your forearm and panting as well.

Closing my eyes, I bring my hand to my forehead and attempt to untangle my thoughts. What am I doing? What are we doing? I'll only get myself hurt. That's exactly what I was talking about. Love and lust. I feel both, but you only feel lust. And when you'll leave me I'll be heartbroken. Carpe diem is not a solution... I can't just decide to enjoy it now without caring about being crushed tomorrow morning. I know you, Matt, and I know how you behave with women you desire but don't love.

I swallow thickly and turn my head to the side as I open my eyes. There I catch sight of Dom and Claire lying not so far away from us. That's yet another problem. We've set up camp far from the road, and big boulders around us can shield us...but not from them. If they wake up...

"Look at me." It could have sounded like an order but you've talked softly.

I bow to your demand and as soon as I've turn my head towards you, you place your hand on my cheek.

"Matt..." I try to say but you cut me off.

"Sshhh..." you shush me. "They're too far away to hear us. I want this, and I know you want it too. Don't think twice."

I don't know what has changed since earlier, if it's the reflection of the moon rays in the sea or not, but I can see your face more clearly now. In this nocturnal light, your irises are made of a pure royal blue. They're limpide, resplendent, and they just take my breath away.

Your gaze shift to my lips. Lips that you lightly touch with the pad of your thumb. Then you look back into my eyes again and your hand stroke its way down my body. Over my breast again, across my waist and my left hip, wrapping itself around the front of my thigh and gliding up towards my knees. It stops there, because my legs are firmly pressed together.

My breathing has deepened again and since my eyes have remained on yours, I can read the request in them. But I'm still hesitating, my body wanting something that my mind tries to reject.

You can feel the struggle in me, so you lean closer and bring your lips to mine. At first you only brush them against mine, softly, gently, making my eyes slide shut. Then your lips mold into mine, giving me a slow and sensual kiss. I'm turning into mush, my insides are melting...and my body just takes the decision for me.

I relax, my legs automatically parting a bit in result, and you use it to your advantage. You worm your hand between my thighs and caress the very sensitive skin there, your fingertips inexorably slithering towards my crotch again. Before reaching it though, you pull on my inner thigh, angling my pelvis towards you, and I follow the movement, shifting around to lie on my right side, facing you.

Then, you use your knee to spread my legs a bit more, keeping it there, as if to prevent me from closing them again. But you've kept on kissing me sweetly all the way, and the thought of protesting doesn't even come to my mind.

Gently breaking the kiss, you fold your other arm under your head for support, since our pillows got knocked out of the way a long time ago, and I mirror you. I also wrap my left arm around your right shoulder, edging just a tiny bit closer to you, and now our foreheads are almost touching. I close my eyes and abandon myself into your arms, focusing all my attention on the way your fingers feel against my skin.

Right now there're running all over my inner thighs, buttocks, hip. Your skin is soft and your caresses very pleasant...but not satisfying enough. Not when you've made it impossible for me not to crave for more.

Now you sneak your hand under my top, lightly grazing the skin there. I'm about to voice my impatience but, finally, I feel your fingers skate down the length of my stomach.

You let them slowly run along the seam of my underwear, which is still in place, and only skim me through the material. Too lightly to be pleasurable, almost ticklingly. It's extremely frustrating. And I know you're doing it on purpose.

"Stop that," I demand, my voice a bit more strained than I intended.

"Stop what?" you ask, apparently finding the situation funny.

"Teasing."

You flash a cocky smile in the dim light. "I'll do what I want," you throw, provocative.

Wrong answer. If you've been expecting me to beg...you should have chosen another girl. I don't beg for anything. Not for anyone. Not even for you.

I glare at you, infuriated, and start to move away but you push your leg down on mine, pressing it into the mattress.

"Don't move," you order, not sounding amused at all this time.

I lay my hand on your shoulder again, giving you another chance. And before I can realise it, you've slipped your hand under the cloth and almost instantly found the right spot, catching me off guard. A startled whimper escapes my lips and my grip thightens around your shoulder.

"Better?" you ask, a faint smile curving your lips.

"Uh-huh," I vaguely answer, having some difficulty speaking.

I close my eyes and enjoy your touch, as your fingers slowly start building a much recognizable heat. Meanwhile you kiss my neck and my shoulder unrelentingly, as if you want to taste every single inch of my skin.

Suddenly you glide your tongue along my collarbone and I tilt my head back immediately, giving you better access. You lick your way up to my ear, making me shudder almost uncontrollably.

"Tell me when, alright?" you murmur against my ear, causing goose bumps to rise on my nape.

I nod quickly, sucking in short, shallow breaths.

I can feel you smile against my skin, just before you move your head down to my cleavage, going as low as my top allows you to. There you lay an open mouthed kiss, sealing your lips to my skin, sucking and nibbling, almost bringing me over the edge. That one is going to leave a hickey...

As much as I enjoy it, my lips are tingling right now, aching for yours. So I entangle my fingers in your hair and I pull gently, making you understand what I want and need.

You kiss me with such passion that I can't help but moan softly against your mouth at some point, clinging at your t-shirt's sleeve. As soon as you hear the sound you draw away, our lips parting noisily, and study my face.

"Now?"

I frown, upset by your retreat. "Not yet," I splutter while shaking my head, my breathing so uneven that I wonder if you've actually caught what I said.

You lean closer again but only lightly pepper my neck and cheek with kisses, staying away from my mouth. I would have protested, if I hadn't felt it in the pit of my stomach, that glorious warmth that wraps around me, sending me over the point of no return. So soon? It usually takes a lot more time.

I wind my left leg around yours, grasping it tightly. "Now," I moan before biting my lower lip, closing my eyes and holding my breath. And then I just lose my ability to think coherently all together. My whole body tenses up, crushing your thigh between mine and my hand reflexively catches yours to still it.

I manage to keep from uttering a single sound while my breathing is blocked, but then I slowly start to loosen up and I finally exhale, the sound embarrassingly loud and rasping.

I let myself go entirely, being buoyed up by zero gravity, in a total release of tension or stress.

Gradually my heart calms down and my breathing steadies. My head is still buzzing but I open my eyes to look at you. My vision is slightly clouded at first, but when I notice what you're doing, I suddenly become very still and focused.

Because you're meticulously licking your fingers clean right now, staring at me intently while doing so.

That picture manages to get to my guts, making them flutter, even though my body's still numb from your previous ministrations.

"God, you look so sexy when you do that..." I whisper, unable to look away.

A small smirk graces the corner of your lips as you wipe your fingers on your t-shirt. "And you look so sexy when you come," you reply.

Another sort of heat creeps into my cheeks as I realise that you've probably been watching me all along. Feeling self-conscious, I flick my eyes downwards, squirming a bit with embarrassment.

You wrap you arm around my waist and pull me into a tight embrace. "Don't be shy... I meant it, you were excruciatingly beautiful."

My cheeks grow even warmer at the compliment. "I'm not beautiful anymore?" I kid, faking disappointment.

"Don't start nitpicking... You're always beautiful," you reassure me. "Just even more palatable when you climax. You're lucky you know...some girls have really weird coming faces."

I roll my eyes. "No need to remind me that I'm far from being the first one to lie with you in bed..." And probably won't be the last one either, unfortunetaly...

"But it's true," you keep going, rising your head and resting it on your left hand, thus moving your chest a bit over mine. "Some crunch their foreheads and open their eyes wide the same way angry babies do sometimes... Once I even got one who sucked in her cheeks and made a fish face! That one was hilarious."

I stiffle a laugh at the description and you grin back. "Too bad for her, she was gorgeous, but that face... She didn't really appreciate it when I burst out laughing."

Then your grin wanes, transforming into a small smile, as a unfamiliar hunger descendes over your face. You slide you hand up to my cheek, skimming my lips with your fingers again. "But you..." you began, dipping down, "that little lip-biting thing of yours..." your voice drops to a whisper, your breath fanning against my lips. "That is such a turn on."