The
Facts
Of Life
Meet Mr. Right
Scene One
Edna's Edibles, the special deli, had just finished it's long lunch hour. Now business was
slowing down for the afternoon, and the workers could relax, which is something they wanted to
do on a Saturday.
A young woman, with curly brunette hair pulled back in a ponytail, was intently wiping the tables
clean. She didn't even look up from her work when her gorgeous companion yelped out in pain.
"Oh phooey," cried the beautiful woman. "I broke a nail." She immediately stopped her job of
opening up crates of jams and preserves.
The brunette finally glanced up and exclaimed sarcastically, "Wow, it's a national tragedy! Blair
Warner has broken a nail! What, is that the fifth time you've done that in your life?"
"No, it's more like the fiftieth time, Jo" the girl named Blair corrected her friend. "If I didn't
have to slave all day, maybe this wouldn't happen!"
"If you didn't get your nails done this wouldn't happen," Jo pointed out. "Ah, go back to opening
your boxes." Jo slowly surveyed the shop and noticed for the first time that her two younger
friends were missing. "Where's Tootie and Natalie?"
"Mrs. Garrett asked them to go on a few errands for her, but they should be back by now," was
Blair's response.
Just then, an African American girl burst through the front door. "You'll never guessed what we
heard!" she cried ecstatically.
"What, Tootie?" Blair excitedly inquired.
Another teenager entered the shop and butted in, "We heard it at the Post Office, and then down
at the convenience store. It is the best thing to happen to us since Mrs. Garrett opened up Edna's
Edibles!"
"Spill the beans, Natalie," Jo demanded impatiently.
Natalie complied Jo's demand and said, "Paul Monroe is coming to live in our small town of
Peakskill!" She, followed by Tootie and Blair, began shrieking.
Jo waited for the screeching to subside. "That's great who is he?"
"Paul Monroe is the famous Broadway producer, director, and songwriter. His recent musical
which he wrote, produced, directed and composed the songs for, is a wonderful success." Tootie
sighed before adding, "He originally came from Great Britain, but now he lives in New York
City."
"He sounds like an egotist," commented Jo. She smiled and couldn't resist saying, "He and Blair
are two of a kind."
Blair shook her head of blonde hair proudly and stuck her nose high in the air.
"Paul Monroe is a genius in every regard," Natalie remarked.
"A genius?" Jo repeated. "Well, I guess Blair isn't like him after all."
"I'm much smarter than you, you grease monkey," Blair informed Jo condescendingly.
Jo marched over to Blair and stood face to face with her. "If that's so, why is it that I was named
valedictorian of Eastland and you weren't?"
"It probably was an unfortunate mistake, but I'm not too concerned about it." Blair glided across
the floor and stood behind the shop counter. "I'm a college woman now and must put silly
highschool days behind me."
Jo made a disgusted face and recommenced her table washing.
During the course of the argument, Natalie and Tootie had put on aprons and were likewise busy
in the shop. Tootie leaned on her broom and announced, "We're gonna have to get Paul into the
store somehow."
Natalie stopped arranging one of the many food shelves to turn to look at her younger friend.
"How do you propose to do that, Tootie? Put big up billboards all over town that say, 'Edna's
Edibles is the place for Broadway producers, directors, and songwriters'? You might as well
make a billboard that says, 'Paul Monroe, you are wanted at Edna's Edibles.'"
Tootie ignored the sarcastic tone in Natalie's voice and replied, "I don't care how I'm gonna do
it, but he's got to come in here. This is my chance to become a world famous actress." Knowing
what effect the next sentence would have on her friend, she added, "Just think how grand it will
be when I star in the play you wrote and that Paul Monroe produced and directed. We'll both be
famous."
Natalie grinned and agreed with her. "That does it; I'm going to get all of my plays together, so
they can be ready when Paul Monroe arrives!"
Jo checked Natalie by reminding her, "Natalie, you're a journalist. You haven't written any
plays."
"Don't bother me with trifles, Jo." Natalie scampered out of the shop through the back door
which led to the area where all the girls and their benefactress, Mrs. Garrett, lived.
"Isn't this wonderful?" Blair walked around from the counter and put her two arms around
Tootie and Jo. "Tootie will become a star when Paul meets her, Natalie will become a famous
playwright, and I will become Paul's wife. Jo will remain in Peakskill, away from the rest of us,
and we'll all be happy."
Jo shrugged of Blair's arm and challenged, "How do you know he'll fall for you, Blair?"
"That's right," Tootie agreed, "he may go for Natalie or . . . ME."
"Why, no one can resist my charm, so Paul will inevitably be putty in my hand." Blair batted her
eye lashes, sighing with contentment.
An older woman entered from the kitchen, carrying two trays of freshly baked chocolate cookies.
"There, that's the last of them," she crowed triumphantly. "My, the customers certainly do go for
my cookies." She noted the silence which had settled on the girls and asked, "Who did what to
whom, now?"
"It's all right, Mrs. Garrett," Blair informed her. "Jo and Tootie are just getting over the shock of
being rejected."
"I don't get it." Mrs. Garrett glanced at each of the girls, but she didn't get one bit of information
from any of them.
Natalie reentered with several journals and folders. "This about covers all the subjects
imaginable. Oh, hi, Mrs. Garrett. We're getting ready for when Paul Monroe comes to the shop."
"Paul Monroe is coming to my shop! Well, what should I wear?" Mrs. Garrett placed her hands
on her face, a look of horror quickly spreading.
"Well, it's not definite yet," Tootie consoled her. As she uttered the last word, the shop door
swung open.
A man of about twenty-five years of age entered and examined the shop curiously. His brown
puppy dog eyes seemed to dance, and the girls all noted his killer smile. His dark brown hair
could almost be mistaken for black, and his muscular frame was clothed in a tight white tee shirt,
a sports jacket, and jeans.
"Excuse me," he spoke in a distinctly British accent, "Is this the famous Edna's Edibles that my
friends so rave about?"
"Tootie squeaked, Natalie stuttered, Blair smiled, and Jo continued washing the tables. Mrs.
Garrett cleared her throat nervously and replied, "Yes, it is, young man, and what can I do for
you?"
"Well, one of my friends told me that if I got anything, I had to get some of Edna Garrett's
famous chocolate chip cookies. Another friend insisted I get Edna Garrett's delicious quiche."
"Well, I'm Edna Garrett and I thank your friends for the compliments. So what will you have?"
Mrs. Garrett stood behind the counter, waiting expectantly.
"I'll have both if you don't mind, and a cup of coffee, too."
Mrs. Garrett began ringing up the sale. "A very wise chose, Mr. . . ."
"The name's Monroe, Paul Monroe." The man reached into his pocket for his wallet, not even
noticing the three star-struck girls behind him.
Tootie finally found her tongue and exclaimed, "Hi, I'm Dorothy Ramsey, but my friends call me
Tootie." Paul turned to smile at her, and she felt her knees giving way.
Not wanting to be out of the spotlight, Natalie quickly said, "I'm Natalie Green, and if you need a
good doctor just call on my dad."
Paul seemed a bit taken aback at this comment, but he thanked her cordially. He paid Mrs.
Garrett, got his food, and found a seat at one of the dryer tables.
"Jo, haven't you washed the tables enough?" Mrs. Garrett asked nervously.
Jo walked into the kitchen with her rag, conscious of Paul Monroe's big eyes staring at her.
When she returned, she was grateful to know that he was now looking at his food.
Paul bit into the quiche tentatively and exclaimed, "My friend was wrong when he described
your food, Mrs. Garrett!"
"Oh?" Mrs. Garrett looked ready to bolt for the door if the need arose.
"It's ten times better." Paul smiled as all the ladies breathed sighs of relief.
As he ate, Blair turned to Jo, Natalie, and Tootie and proclaimed, "Just watch me put my charm
and beauty into action, girls." She sat down next to him and batted her eyelashes flirtatiously.
"I'm Blair Warner, one of THE Warners of America."
"I've never heard of you." Paul continued eating much to the chagrin of the much insulted Blair.
"I realize that you want to keep publicity low, so I won't tell a word of who you are." Blair
waited for an appropriate response, which she received promptly.
"Thank you Blair, and if you don't mind, I'd like to eat in peace."
Blair rose from the table, a look of pure embarrassment spread all over her countenance.
Jo smiled widely. "Nothing like watching you put your charm and beauty into action." She
smiled even wider when Blair marched huffily into the kitchen.
Mrs. Garrett realized that Tootie and Natalie were staring fixatedly at Paul. She cleared her throat
emphatically and they comprehended the message. They commenced their little tasks, still
glancing admiringly at Paul every once and awhile. Jo turned to finish emptying the crates that
Blair had abandoned earlier, but Paul checked her.
"You never told me your name."
Jo almost flushed as she responded, "Oh yeah, um, it's Jo . . . Jo Polniaczek."
"Are you Polish by any chance?"
"I'm half Polish and half Italian."
"You must have quite a temper, Jo. Remind me never to get you angry."
Jo laughed good-naturedly and placed some strawberry preserves on the proper shelf. She was
surprised to find Natalie and Tootie staring at her, mouths agape. "What's the matter with me?"
she demanded.
"Paul Monroe is standing before you, and all you can think of talking about is your temper?"
Natalie whispered in exasperation.
"What do you want me to do; discuss politics?"
"Never mind, Jo; we'll talk to him." Tootie stepped eagerly over to Paul, but he had stood to
leave.
"Mrs. Garrett, do you cater for parties?" he asked.
"Yes, we do, and we haven't had one complaint yet." Mrs. Garrett beamed proudly at the
handsome man.
"I would be very grateful if you would cater a little get together I'm having next Saturday. It's
sort of a going away party my New Yorker friends wanted me to give before I moved to
Peakskill. Do you think you could do it?"
"Why, we'd be delighted to cater your party!" Mrs. Garrett exclaimed over the enraptured gasps
of her staff. "Is there any particular theme you're going with?"
"No; just make good ole American dishes and hors d'oeuvre, and some Vegetarian delicacies.
I've got a lot of friends that are Vegetarians, and I'm sort of a Vegetarian, myself. I don't eat red
meat and pork, you know."
Mrs. Garrett hadn't known this information, but she politely nodded.
"Here are instructions to my apartment in Manhattan, and here is my phone number." Paul
handed her several slips of creased paper. "I'll get in touch with you later, O.K.?" He sauntered
confidently to the door, swerved, and addressed the nearest girl, the grinning Natalie. "Keep
smiling, love." Then he exited Edna's Edibles, leaving four extremely enthralled woman.
Natalie gave a sigh of deepest pleasure and exclaimed, "Oh wow, I think I'm in love. Tell me, do
I look different?"
Mrs. Garrett examined her warily. "Light brown hair, brown eyes; you're the same old Natalie I
know."
Natalie ignored this comment and announced, "Blair was absolutely wrong; I'm sure Paul likes
me the best."
"I was under the impression he liked me the best!" Tootie protested sulkily.
"Girls, you're both wrong," Mrs. Garrett declared. "He like me the best," she joked, smiling
widely. "Now, when you're done with your chores, girls, join me in the kitchen for a staff
meeting. We have to decide on the proper food for Mr. Monroe's party."
Natalie watched as Mrs. Garrett quitted the room, then said, "I don't care what we make for his
party, as long as I get to see him again."
"Well, I'm just glad he didn't take a liking to Blair," admitted Jo.
Tootie smiled mischievously. "Oh, and could that be because "
"Whatever it is, Tootie, the answer's, 'no.'"
"I was just gonna ask if you liked him, too," Tootie commented pitifully.
"Tootie, I didn't know that!" Jo cried, softening a bit. Suddenly, she toughened up again and
added, "And the answer is still a big fat, 'no.' I have no desire to fall on love with a wealthy,
talented, and handsome man."
"You and Blair are both so prejudice. You think all rich people are unworthy of notice, and Blair
thinks all poor people aren't worth it." Tootie shook her head and went into the kitchen.
"You don't have to like Paul, Jo," Natalie consoled her. "It'll mean less competition for me!"
She ran into the kitchen, leaving Jo alone, rolling her eyes.
To Be Continued!
Please Review and tell me if I should continue.
Facts
Of Life
Meet Mr. Right
Scene One
Edna's Edibles, the special deli, had just finished it's long lunch hour. Now business was
slowing down for the afternoon, and the workers could relax, which is something they wanted to
do on a Saturday.
A young woman, with curly brunette hair pulled back in a ponytail, was intently wiping the tables
clean. She didn't even look up from her work when her gorgeous companion yelped out in pain.
"Oh phooey," cried the beautiful woman. "I broke a nail." She immediately stopped her job of
opening up crates of jams and preserves.
The brunette finally glanced up and exclaimed sarcastically, "Wow, it's a national tragedy! Blair
Warner has broken a nail! What, is that the fifth time you've done that in your life?"
"No, it's more like the fiftieth time, Jo" the girl named Blair corrected her friend. "If I didn't
have to slave all day, maybe this wouldn't happen!"
"If you didn't get your nails done this wouldn't happen," Jo pointed out. "Ah, go back to opening
your boxes." Jo slowly surveyed the shop and noticed for the first time that her two younger
friends were missing. "Where's Tootie and Natalie?"
"Mrs. Garrett asked them to go on a few errands for her, but they should be back by now," was
Blair's response.
Just then, an African American girl burst through the front door. "You'll never guessed what we
heard!" she cried ecstatically.
"What, Tootie?" Blair excitedly inquired.
Another teenager entered the shop and butted in, "We heard it at the Post Office, and then down
at the convenience store. It is the best thing to happen to us since Mrs. Garrett opened up Edna's
Edibles!"
"Spill the beans, Natalie," Jo demanded impatiently.
Natalie complied Jo's demand and said, "Paul Monroe is coming to live in our small town of
Peakskill!" She, followed by Tootie and Blair, began shrieking.
Jo waited for the screeching to subside. "That's great who is he?"
"Paul Monroe is the famous Broadway producer, director, and songwriter. His recent musical
which he wrote, produced, directed and composed the songs for, is a wonderful success." Tootie
sighed before adding, "He originally came from Great Britain, but now he lives in New York
City."
"He sounds like an egotist," commented Jo. She smiled and couldn't resist saying, "He and Blair
are two of a kind."
Blair shook her head of blonde hair proudly and stuck her nose high in the air.
"Paul Monroe is a genius in every regard," Natalie remarked.
"A genius?" Jo repeated. "Well, I guess Blair isn't like him after all."
"I'm much smarter than you, you grease monkey," Blair informed Jo condescendingly.
Jo marched over to Blair and stood face to face with her. "If that's so, why is it that I was named
valedictorian of Eastland and you weren't?"
"It probably was an unfortunate mistake, but I'm not too concerned about it." Blair glided across
the floor and stood behind the shop counter. "I'm a college woman now and must put silly
highschool days behind me."
Jo made a disgusted face and recommenced her table washing.
During the course of the argument, Natalie and Tootie had put on aprons and were likewise busy
in the shop. Tootie leaned on her broom and announced, "We're gonna have to get Paul into the
store somehow."
Natalie stopped arranging one of the many food shelves to turn to look at her younger friend.
"How do you propose to do that, Tootie? Put big up billboards all over town that say, 'Edna's
Edibles is the place for Broadway producers, directors, and songwriters'? You might as well
make a billboard that says, 'Paul Monroe, you are wanted at Edna's Edibles.'"
Tootie ignored the sarcastic tone in Natalie's voice and replied, "I don't care how I'm gonna do
it, but he's got to come in here. This is my chance to become a world famous actress." Knowing
what effect the next sentence would have on her friend, she added, "Just think how grand it will
be when I star in the play you wrote and that Paul Monroe produced and directed. We'll both be
famous."
Natalie grinned and agreed with her. "That does it; I'm going to get all of my plays together, so
they can be ready when Paul Monroe arrives!"
Jo checked Natalie by reminding her, "Natalie, you're a journalist. You haven't written any
plays."
"Don't bother me with trifles, Jo." Natalie scampered out of the shop through the back door
which led to the area where all the girls and their benefactress, Mrs. Garrett, lived.
"Isn't this wonderful?" Blair walked around from the counter and put her two arms around
Tootie and Jo. "Tootie will become a star when Paul meets her, Natalie will become a famous
playwright, and I will become Paul's wife. Jo will remain in Peakskill, away from the rest of us,
and we'll all be happy."
Jo shrugged of Blair's arm and challenged, "How do you know he'll fall for you, Blair?"
"That's right," Tootie agreed, "he may go for Natalie or . . . ME."
"Why, no one can resist my charm, so Paul will inevitably be putty in my hand." Blair batted her
eye lashes, sighing with contentment.
An older woman entered from the kitchen, carrying two trays of freshly baked chocolate cookies.
"There, that's the last of them," she crowed triumphantly. "My, the customers certainly do go for
my cookies." She noted the silence which had settled on the girls and asked, "Who did what to
whom, now?"
"It's all right, Mrs. Garrett," Blair informed her. "Jo and Tootie are just getting over the shock of
being rejected."
"I don't get it." Mrs. Garrett glanced at each of the girls, but she didn't get one bit of information
from any of them.
Natalie reentered with several journals and folders. "This about covers all the subjects
imaginable. Oh, hi, Mrs. Garrett. We're getting ready for when Paul Monroe comes to the shop."
"Paul Monroe is coming to my shop! Well, what should I wear?" Mrs. Garrett placed her hands
on her face, a look of horror quickly spreading.
"Well, it's not definite yet," Tootie consoled her. As she uttered the last word, the shop door
swung open.
A man of about twenty-five years of age entered and examined the shop curiously. His brown
puppy dog eyes seemed to dance, and the girls all noted his killer smile. His dark brown hair
could almost be mistaken for black, and his muscular frame was clothed in a tight white tee shirt,
a sports jacket, and jeans.
"Excuse me," he spoke in a distinctly British accent, "Is this the famous Edna's Edibles that my
friends so rave about?"
"Tootie squeaked, Natalie stuttered, Blair smiled, and Jo continued washing the tables. Mrs.
Garrett cleared her throat nervously and replied, "Yes, it is, young man, and what can I do for
you?"
"Well, one of my friends told me that if I got anything, I had to get some of Edna Garrett's
famous chocolate chip cookies. Another friend insisted I get Edna Garrett's delicious quiche."
"Well, I'm Edna Garrett and I thank your friends for the compliments. So what will you have?"
Mrs. Garrett stood behind the counter, waiting expectantly.
"I'll have both if you don't mind, and a cup of coffee, too."
Mrs. Garrett began ringing up the sale. "A very wise chose, Mr. . . ."
"The name's Monroe, Paul Monroe." The man reached into his pocket for his wallet, not even
noticing the three star-struck girls behind him.
Tootie finally found her tongue and exclaimed, "Hi, I'm Dorothy Ramsey, but my friends call me
Tootie." Paul turned to smile at her, and she felt her knees giving way.
Not wanting to be out of the spotlight, Natalie quickly said, "I'm Natalie Green, and if you need a
good doctor just call on my dad."
Paul seemed a bit taken aback at this comment, but he thanked her cordially. He paid Mrs.
Garrett, got his food, and found a seat at one of the dryer tables.
"Jo, haven't you washed the tables enough?" Mrs. Garrett asked nervously.
Jo walked into the kitchen with her rag, conscious of Paul Monroe's big eyes staring at her.
When she returned, she was grateful to know that he was now looking at his food.
Paul bit into the quiche tentatively and exclaimed, "My friend was wrong when he described
your food, Mrs. Garrett!"
"Oh?" Mrs. Garrett looked ready to bolt for the door if the need arose.
"It's ten times better." Paul smiled as all the ladies breathed sighs of relief.
As he ate, Blair turned to Jo, Natalie, and Tootie and proclaimed, "Just watch me put my charm
and beauty into action, girls." She sat down next to him and batted her eyelashes flirtatiously.
"I'm Blair Warner, one of THE Warners of America."
"I've never heard of you." Paul continued eating much to the chagrin of the much insulted Blair.
"I realize that you want to keep publicity low, so I won't tell a word of who you are." Blair
waited for an appropriate response, which she received promptly.
"Thank you Blair, and if you don't mind, I'd like to eat in peace."
Blair rose from the table, a look of pure embarrassment spread all over her countenance.
Jo smiled widely. "Nothing like watching you put your charm and beauty into action." She
smiled even wider when Blair marched huffily into the kitchen.
Mrs. Garrett realized that Tootie and Natalie were staring fixatedly at Paul. She cleared her throat
emphatically and they comprehended the message. They commenced their little tasks, still
glancing admiringly at Paul every once and awhile. Jo turned to finish emptying the crates that
Blair had abandoned earlier, but Paul checked her.
"You never told me your name."
Jo almost flushed as she responded, "Oh yeah, um, it's Jo . . . Jo Polniaczek."
"Are you Polish by any chance?"
"I'm half Polish and half Italian."
"You must have quite a temper, Jo. Remind me never to get you angry."
Jo laughed good-naturedly and placed some strawberry preserves on the proper shelf. She was
surprised to find Natalie and Tootie staring at her, mouths agape. "What's the matter with me?"
she demanded.
"Paul Monroe is standing before you, and all you can think of talking about is your temper?"
Natalie whispered in exasperation.
"What do you want me to do; discuss politics?"
"Never mind, Jo; we'll talk to him." Tootie stepped eagerly over to Paul, but he had stood to
leave.
"Mrs. Garrett, do you cater for parties?" he asked.
"Yes, we do, and we haven't had one complaint yet." Mrs. Garrett beamed proudly at the
handsome man.
"I would be very grateful if you would cater a little get together I'm having next Saturday. It's
sort of a going away party my New Yorker friends wanted me to give before I moved to
Peakskill. Do you think you could do it?"
"Why, we'd be delighted to cater your party!" Mrs. Garrett exclaimed over the enraptured gasps
of her staff. "Is there any particular theme you're going with?"
"No; just make good ole American dishes and hors d'oeuvre, and some Vegetarian delicacies.
I've got a lot of friends that are Vegetarians, and I'm sort of a Vegetarian, myself. I don't eat red
meat and pork, you know."
Mrs. Garrett hadn't known this information, but she politely nodded.
"Here are instructions to my apartment in Manhattan, and here is my phone number." Paul
handed her several slips of creased paper. "I'll get in touch with you later, O.K.?" He sauntered
confidently to the door, swerved, and addressed the nearest girl, the grinning Natalie. "Keep
smiling, love." Then he exited Edna's Edibles, leaving four extremely enthralled woman.
Natalie gave a sigh of deepest pleasure and exclaimed, "Oh wow, I think I'm in love. Tell me, do
I look different?"
Mrs. Garrett examined her warily. "Light brown hair, brown eyes; you're the same old Natalie I
know."
Natalie ignored this comment and announced, "Blair was absolutely wrong; I'm sure Paul likes
me the best."
"I was under the impression he liked me the best!" Tootie protested sulkily.
"Girls, you're both wrong," Mrs. Garrett declared. "He like me the best," she joked, smiling
widely. "Now, when you're done with your chores, girls, join me in the kitchen for a staff
meeting. We have to decide on the proper food for Mr. Monroe's party."
Natalie watched as Mrs. Garrett quitted the room, then said, "I don't care what we make for his
party, as long as I get to see him again."
"Well, I'm just glad he didn't take a liking to Blair," admitted Jo.
Tootie smiled mischievously. "Oh, and could that be because "
"Whatever it is, Tootie, the answer's, 'no.'"
"I was just gonna ask if you liked him, too," Tootie commented pitifully.
"Tootie, I didn't know that!" Jo cried, softening a bit. Suddenly, she toughened up again and
added, "And the answer is still a big fat, 'no.' I have no desire to fall on love with a wealthy,
talented, and handsome man."
"You and Blair are both so prejudice. You think all rich people are unworthy of notice, and Blair
thinks all poor people aren't worth it." Tootie shook her head and went into the kitchen.
"You don't have to like Paul, Jo," Natalie consoled her. "It'll mean less competition for me!"
She ran into the kitchen, leaving Jo alone, rolling her eyes.
To Be Continued!
Please Review and tell me if I should continue.