When living doesn't even feel like living anymore, Obito finds it hard to stay conscious of the passage of time. If he needed to sleep, he's sure he would never want to wake up.
He's alive but he's not living.
His life revolves around the plan and even though he knows it's pathetic, Obito cannot gather up the strength to pick up other hobbies along the way.
That is until the hobby decides to come his way instead, slapping him right in the face.
"Behold," he hears Deidara say, high above in the sky, "the beauty of my art, yeah!"
Obito looks up at that explosive partner of his, a strange sensation crawling across his forehead.
Deidara doesn't even seem like he remembers he isn't working this mission alone. He seems to be extremely caught up in the situation he has in hand.
Obito cannot begin to understand, but perhaps he should.
"Senpai!" Tobi calls out, waving his arms above his head in an attempt to flag his partner down.
Deidara doesn't even spare him a glance, only grinning down at the fires and ruins as though he is a maniac. He isn't unlike one, Tobi supposes, and it is extremely reassuring to know that this maniac only targets his desire to "show off his art" to their enemies.
A scoff tears its way through his throat before he realizes it even formed. Obito shakes his head. He lowers his arms and places his hands on his hips, cocking his head.
He falls silent for a while, just watching as Deidara tosses another round of explosive insects into the wreckage with feigned interest.
The ground shakes as the explosives go off and another innocent victim runs out of the fire, coated in a new layer of flames.
Obito heaves a sigh through his nose and then he looks back up at Deidara again. He seems to have grown bored of toying with these civilians.
"Alright, Tobi, hm," Deidara says, his voice sounding very far away in Obito's disinterested ears. "Let's head back."
"I'm hungry, senpai," Tobi says automatically.
"You're always hungry, hm," says Deidara and then a bird suddenly appears by Tobi's side. Without another word, Tobi climbs on.
Despite his words, Deidara stops their flight back mid-way and they land in the middle of nowhere. Tobi pats himself down from the wayward clay and pretends to not notice Deidara pointing at the direction they're going.
"Tobi, pay attention," says Deidara.
"I am," says Tobi.
"You're not, hm," Deidara shakes his head. "There's a teahouse down this road."
"Yay!" Tobi exclaims.
"Shut up," Deidara responds and then he begins to head down the dirt road.
Tobi pretends to stumble and then hurries after his senpai. He catches up to him in mere moments, arms behind his head in a relaxed position.
He can hear Deidara stare at him.
"What is it, senpai?" Tobi asks.
"You're acting strange today, hm," replies Deidara.
"Am I?" Tobi blinks.
"So, what is it?" Deidara asks. He gestures to the teahouse when they near and holds up two fingers for the elderly owner. The owner smiles kindly at them and leads them inside, seating them at one of the more comfortable areas of the house.
Menus are handed to them and Tobi utters a quiet "thanks" as he takes one, glancing down at the food items available.
Obito doesn't know why he even bothers – Tobi orders the same thing no matter where they go.
"Don't pretend to have forgotten that I asked you a question, yeah," Deidara says.
Obito glances up at Deidara and then looks back down at the menu. He places the menu down on the table and then the elderly lady comes shuffling forward, a tiny notepad and pen in her wrinkly hands.
"Two dango, hm," Deidara says, "and two cups of green tea."
The elder lady smiles at him warmly and retrieves the menu. She turns slowly and then shuffles back into the kitchen, the curtains still fluttering in the air seconds after she disappears from sight.
Obito decides to play stupid.
"Don't play stupid," Deidara says. He is drumming his fingers against the old wooden table. The sound is annoying.
"I'm not, senpai," says Tobi.
"Are you mad that I didn't let you do your super amazing technique on those civilians, hm?" Deidara asks.
"No," Tobi says, crossing his arms childishly.
"Hm," Deidara hums. His lone visible eye narrows and Obito feels the same sensation prickle behind his forehead.
"I didn't actually have a super amazing technique to handle that mission," Tobi says. "It was better that senpai handled it."
The elderly lady comes back out. Her hands shake as she carries to cups of green tea. Tobi immediately stands to help her, taking them from her hands. She offers him another sweet smile.
Tobi pushes one of the cups to Deidara, holding on to the other.
"Something is really on your mind, hm," Deidara says. He reaches for the cup of green tea and then nonchalantly takes a sip.
Obito glances at the corner of the teahouse. There is a spider web there but no sign of the spider. He holds the cup of green tea in his hand, letting the heat soak through his glove and into his skin.
"Are you going to speak up or no, hm?"
Tobi glances down at his cup of green tea. The liquid ripples.
"What's gotten into you, hm?"
"I don't know what you're saying, senpai," says Tobi.
Deidara gives him a look. The lady comes back out with two plates of dango, coated in a generous amount of sauce. It glistens weakly underneath the candlelight of the teahouse. The plates clatter on the table as the lady sets it down.
"Enjoy," the elder says with a near-toothless grin. Tobi gives the lady a tiny nod and she turns to head back into the kitchen. There is no other noise.
Deidara reaches for the plate closest to him, dragging it across the table. Tobi watches, every movement, as Deidara takes the stick of dango off of the plate. Deidara holds the stick in the air for a few moments, the extra sauce drooling back down on the plate. It pools into the existing puddle.
When Deidara deems it thoroughly drained, he brings it to his lips and takes one into his mouth.
Graceful.
Obito licks his lips.
He sees Deidara glance down at his plate of dango.
"Are you not going to eat that, hm?" Deidara asks through a mouthful.
Tobi looks down at his plate, then at his green tea, then at Deidara. "Soon, senpai," he says.
Deidara scoffs. "Okay," he says. He continues to eat his food.
After a beat of silence, Obito decides that he can't take it anymore. "Senpai," Tobi says. He lets go of the cup of green tea.
"Hm?" Deidara hums.
"Why do you like your art so much?"
Deidara stops chewing, looking back up from his plate. He raises an eyebrow. Tobi fidgets.
"I was just curious," Tobi says slowly.
"Hm," Deidara grunts. He puts down his now empty stick and rests his chin on his palm, and his elbow on the table. "You never expressed voluntary interest before, Tobi, hm. Are you really sick today?"
"No," Tobi says. He reaches out and pinches the end of one of his sticks of dango, rolling it around as he thinks. "I've always wanted to know."
"Sure," Deidara says. He reaches for his cup with his other hand and takes a long, dragged out sip.
Obito is patient.
Deidara pushes the cup a little when he's done. His blue eyes wander back toward Tobi's mask.
"What do you want to hear, hm?" Deidara asks. Obito sighs at the sarcasm.
"Everything, senpai," says Tobi. "I want to know why you like art so much – know why it is your passion."
Deidara lets out a dry laugh and Tobi leans his head back, pretending to loosen a few tight muscles.
"Oh, Tobi," Deidara says, shaking his head. "If you had eyes – two eyes – you'd be able to tell on your own, yeah."
"That's very mean, senpai," Tobi says, cross. "I lost my other eye in an accident."
"I lost both of my arms in the middle of two heated battles, one after the other," Deidara says, tapping his fingers against the table again. "What is your point, hm?"
"I just wanted to know," says Tobi, "how you find it so easy to care about something that seems so minuscule."
Deidara looks at him for the longest time and then he seems to understand because he's no longer staring at him the next he looks, instead his gaze is cast down on the table. Tobi stares down at the table too – he must say, the wood's pattern is very interesting. Obito once heard that the rings of a tree indicate how old the tree is.
"You're really something, huh, Tobi?" Deidara says finally.
Tobi looks back up and tilts his head.
"Every time I think I've finally gotten the gist of who you are, you pull a stunt like this, hm," says Deidara. He grabs his remaining stick of dango. "There's more to you than that mask, I'm sure."
Tobi doesn't respond.
Deidara nods minutely. "I'll figure you out, hm," Deidara says. "That's a promise."
"Okay, senpai," says Tobi and then he looks at Deidara expectantly.
"I'm not going to explain to you why I'm passionate about my art, yeah," replies Deidara. He reaches into his cloak and tosses out a small bag of coins.
Obito watches as he stands up from his seat and gesture to the outside. "If you want to know how to paint some color into your sad little life, then you have to do it on your own.
Obito furrows his eyebrows.
"Come on, Tobi," he says. "Why do you want to know about my passion for my art, for real, hm?"
"I want to know what it feels like to care about something so passionately."
Deidara looks at him, smug. "Then care about something passionately," Deidara says and then he walks out of the teahouse.
"Bye-bye, ma'am!" Tobi calls out into the kitchen before following his partner. "Money's on the table!"
The sun is right on top of their heads, hammering down with relentless force. He spies Deidara sliding his hand under his forehead protector.
"Senpai," begins Tobi.
"Shut it," Deidara says. He points forward. "Watch."
Tobi doesn't even know what he's watching. He follows Deidara until they come to a stop. Deidara points to a relatively empty area in the middle of the forest. Before Tobi can even ask what Deidara wants, Deidara is already walking in.
He follows Deidara's example and lays down on the ground, forcing his eyes to gaze upward into the sky. He can barely see it – the trees around him have thick leaves that block out large patches of the sky.
There's nothing at first, only waving leaves and floating clouds. Strangely, Obito feels a calm wash over him. A cool sensation filling his limbs and there's no longer a sense of urgency. There is no time despite him being extremely aware of it now. With every moment, a different formation of clouds float past the tiny gaps of the trees' leaves and Obito swears he's seeing another world through another's eyes.
Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees something flutter. He doesn't even bother turning his head. It eventually flies into his field of vision and he sees that it's a butterfly.
Obito can't help but smile, a natural thing that he doesn't need to force for once. The butterfly flies up into the sky and through the leaves, and then it disappears.
Tobi's gaze lingers in its wake, trying to search for something that's no longer there.
Another butterfly comes forth.
Tobi thinks he likes butterflies.
Another butterfly joins in. Soon, there is too many to count.
"Senpai," Tobi breathes. The butterflies are all pure white.
"Watch," says Deidara and then he is quiet.
Obito watches. The butterflies dance in a beautiful formation and then as suddenly as they came, they disappear.
"Where did they go?" Tobi asks.
Deidara doesn't say anything. A rumbling sounds in the distance.
"Thunder," Deidara claims.
"Raiden's fart," Tobi laughs.
Deidara turns and Obito takes the hint. Fallen leaves rustle beneath them as they lay on their sides, looking at each other.
"Do you understand, Tobi, hm?" Deidara asks after a while of just looking.
"Yes," Tobi says.
"No," Deidara says.
"There was a spider web in the corner of that teahouse," says Tobi.
Deidara shifts, pillowing his head with his left hand instead of his right. He lays his right hand on the forest floor and then slowly unfurls his fingers. Lying in the middle of his palm, right on those lips, is a tiny white spider.
The spider struggles a little before it gets on its legs, spinning around to look at its creator and his partner.
"Do you understand now, Tobi, hm?" Deidara asks again.
The spider crawls away, going home.
Obito looks up at the way Deidara is lying on his side, his bang having fallen down and covering most of his face. He reaches out to tuck it behind Deidara's ear. Deidara doesn't shy away from his touch.
Suddenly time is moving too fast and Obito knows that he will lose this very soon if he doesn't continue the chase.
"Yes," breathes Obito.
Deidara looks at him, blue eyes shining – even the one beneath the scope – and he nods triumphantly.
"Good," Deidara says. "Good."
Hey guys, Red here!
This is beta'd by AO3 user Dani_ATN.
I heard this quote from the movie Adaptation (based on the book The Orchid Thief) and I was just completely taken by it. It left me with a strange feeling that I needed to explore. It's just a shame that I left it for too long in my notes but I'm still happy with how this came out.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
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