"Oliver…" Felicity says with a curious little furrow between her eyebrows and her head tilted slightly to the side. "Why is our eldest completely obsessed with archery all of the sudden? He hates archery. Like, he'd rather eat green vegetables than go shooting with you. My world is askew."
"What?" Oliver asks, following her gaze out their kitchen window to where their older son is extremely focused with a Nerf bow and arrow.
If Oliver is ridiculously proud that his kid can shoot a pine cone off the tree from the opposite side of their yard, he feels this is totally justified.
"Ever since last Sunday he's been entirely about shooting," Felicity says. "This is Robbie we're talking about. Robbie who would rather draw anime than draw a bow-string. What happened?"
Something dawns on Oliver. That much is obvious. He shuffles his feet slightly and stretches his neck to the side a little. Felicity's eyes narrow suspiciously.
"Oliver…" She says, eyebrows raised above the rim of her glasses as she looks at him.
"I'm sure it's nothing," Oliver says uncomfortably.
"What's nothing?" Felicity prods.
"There may have been… a few too many metaphors in our talk over the weekend," Oliver says with a wince.
"Your talk?"
"Yes."
"Your talk about sex. With our eleven-year-old. Had archery metaphors?" Felicity asks in total disbelief.
"I feel like that's something I'm probably supposed to deny, given your tone," Oliver hedges.
"You can't be serious. How in the world did you equate archery to sex?"
"Well… you know… there's patience, obviously. And then there's aim," Oliver says, as if these are valid points. "And follow-through. Plus, practice. Practice is important."
"Oliver! I wanted you to explain to him about safe sex, not give him a how-to guide!"
"Archery requires safety, too," Oliver says a little defensively, but it's a battle he knows he's lost. Mostly because it's against Felicity, but also because Robbie has spent more time shooting pine cones in the last four days than he spent outside all of last summer
"Are you hearing yourself?" Felicity asks. "Do the words coming out of your mouth right now actually seem logical to you?"
"It made more sense in my head," Oliver winces.
"I would think it must have. But, hey, at least you got him outside for a bit. Yay for vitamin D intake," Felicity tells him, squeezing his hand a little in support because the kicked puppy look he's sporting gets her every single time.
"I'll talk to him again?" Oliver asks.
"It's cute that you think that's a question," she laughs.