Part One -
The Warning.
Today was the day when I realized that I was
crazy.
I just wanted to get out of here, away from all of
this. That's all I wanted to do.
I was walking through the
usual afternoon crowd when the insanity suddenly struck me like a
bolt of lightning and I froze in my track. I wasn't able to move, I
just stood there like a moron. People kept passing me by, brushing
against my shoulders like I was some kind of rag doll, just standing
there, in the middle of the big city.
My gaze was locked to
some invisible object right in front of me and every time I tried to
move my feet or even make the slightest movement with my fingertips,
I found myself unable to do it. It was taunting. I wanted to scream,
to pull myself out of this cataclysmic system crash I was
experiencing, but I couldn't.
"I've finally done it,"
I thought. "I've cracked the code. I've passed through the
portal. I've... finally gone mad."
I don't know for how
long I stood there. Maybe a couple of minutes or hours, I have no
idea. My sense of time was completely lost to the great black void of
unconsciousness I had fallen into.
Then someone finally
knocked me over and broke the spell. I fell down on my four, my hands
and knees touching the muddy wet asphalt. I stared down and began to
choke, feeling the sour liquid crawling up my throat. Seconds later
my lunch was lying on the street in front of me and I was grasping
for air.
"Sir, are you okay?" said a boy who was
passing by and gave me a concerned look, carefully avoiding stepping
into my not very pleasant looking lunch. He helped me get up. The
world was spinning around me.
"Yes. Yes I'm just fine,"
I replied in a croaked voice, still clinging onto his sleeve. I let
it go once I had found the balance for my feet again. "Thank
you."
The helpful teenager disappeared into the nameless
crowd of suits. I wiped my mouth with a handkerchief and proceeded
walking, like in a dream. I tried to look at the faces of the people
passing me by, I looked at the buildings and the cars that drove by.
It felt like I was saying goodbye to something because I didn't feel
a part of it anymore.
"Maybe this is a relevation
everyone gets shortly before they die," I thought without the
least bit of worry. My right hand slid into my pocket and I threw a
few coins in the hat of a beggar who was resting against the wall of
another nameless building.
"Thank you kind sir, thank
you," his lips formed an almost unbearable whisper as he looked
into my eyes. I nodded, sudden pain shooting through my chest.
More
nameless faces, buildings, cars. The road home had never seemed this
long before. While in the subway, graffiti caught my attention. By
the time I saw it I was already too numb to think with logic and just
let everything sip into my mind like disease. I repeated the line
again and again as I was sitting on the train, staring out the
window, watching the world flash by. "Reality doesn't exist my
friend, I'm living like a pirate using my sixth sense."
I
just wanted to get out of here, away from all of this. That's all I
wanted to do. I never expected to go crazy.
With a sigh of
relief, I threw the keys down on the table, on top of today's Wall
Street Journal. I hung my jacket in the closet and began to undress
in front of the mirror, beginning with the tie. A man with bright
blue eyes, brown hair and distinguished face features stared back at
me. There were almost no signs of the terrifying loss of sanity I had
experienced today, none except for the paleness of my face and the
first lines of rings under my eyes. It had been a long day.
The
face didn't lie. I had not slept much lately. In fact, to be
perfectly honest, I was suffering from a serious case of insomnia,
which nothing seemed to cure. I had tried it all - sleeping pills,
alcohol, Enigma, TCM until the late hours of the evening. But no -
something was keeping me awake, night after night.
Was it my
restless mind and the growing pile of problems and hurtful incidents
that had happened to me lately? It very well might be.
Maybe
my unconscious was trying to tell me something? Perhaps even warn
me?
I didn't want to think it could have anything to do with
the last dream I could remember having. The dream about the wires.
I
remember it very clearly, maybe because there was not much to
remember. I remember several thick black wires spreading, growing,
and reaching for something. Black liquid was dropping from them,
black drops of liquid. My inner eye followed along their length and
it saw them moving, like the tentacles of a squid. Darkness was
everywhere around them. And then, suddenly, I was wrapped in among
them and they were suffocating me. They wanted me. They called for
me.
The man in the mirror followed my every move as I touched
the mirror with my fingertips. They slid against the cool
surface.
"Mad or not, this man needs a drink," my
reflection said and I agreed with it.
The distant sound of
applause and cheers reached my ears.
"Ladies and
Gentlemen," a voice said once the noise had settled down.
"Tonight is a very special night for us. This is the moment WE
ALL have been waiting for and I know that the wait has been long to
the point where it has become unbearable."
Despite the
words, there was a pause and the crowd whistled and cheered, as
expected.
The voice laughed. "Alright, I won't keep you
waiting no more! The people of the world, may I present the one who
managed to crack the code, the only one who has passed through the
portal... Theeee... MADMAN!"
The curtains parted and I
wasn't the least bit surprised when I saw myself standing in the
middle of the stage. As expected, the other me on the stage was
completely unable to move. He stood there, frozen, and I saw horror
and fear in his eyes. The crowd whistled angrily.
Then it
began.
The other me slowly began to dissolve and the sight
wasn't pretty. The face of my skin started to fall apart, break down,
layer after layer, and I still stood there, frozen.
Frozen.
My
lips began to form a word when they detached from the rest of my face
and fell down to the ground, followed by layers of nose and cheeks.
The crowd laughed as the process became quicker and thick strays of
hair began to fill the scene and now my bones were beginning to show
as one of my eyes popped out and rolled over across the scene into
the audience. Applause and laughter filled the theatre as the horror
scene was played out in front of them, the chanting only getting
louder and louder.
"Bravo, bravissimo! Encore, encore!
ENCORE!!"
The loud thud of my own bones breaking down and
falling down to the floor filled my head as I opened my eyes and
leaped back into reality.
I would never sleep again.
