Fandom: Star Trek: 2009! There may be some TOS references thrown in though...

Time: Uh, Stardate 2938.02. I just sorta made that number up, sorry if it doesn't comply with canon times and such. Post Nero-incident, well into the Enterprise's normal course of events.

Pairing:Spirk to come in later chapters!

Characters: Capt. Kirk, Spock, Chekov, Scotty, Bones, and Uhura make appearances, and Ensigns Thile and Wilson. That's Chris Thile.

Rating: PG-13/T to be safe. Some mild language in later chapters, along with possible Spirky stufff.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Star Trek 09, and those rights go to the lucky people who do. I also don't own Chris Thile, sadly, he owns himself. The writing and situations are all mine though!

Enjoy!

Captains log, Stardate 2938.02:

The USS Enterprise is currently in orbit around the planet known as Chasuus. Upon first inspection, it appeared to be completely normal, except for the absence of any radio transmissions, or transmissions of any kind. However, upon attaining orbit, First Officer Spock began receiving telepathic signals of an abnormal nature. The rest of the crew, even those with high psi ratings, remain unaffected. I have decided to beam down a landing party to explore the planet, both for the aforementioned reasons and because the Enterprise s engines are not in peak condition after our last engagement with Klingon forces. Hopefully, there will be some material on the planet or a civilisation advanced enough to trade with so that we can gather essential supplies. Kirk out.

Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise looked around the bridge. All of the usual command crew were at their stations, performing the typical day-to-day duties required of them, except for Spock. He had been ordered to report to Dr. McCoy for full neurological scans, however it was much more likely that he was attempting meditation in his quarters, and avoiding the incessant doctor at all costs.

"Uhura, anything from the planet?"

"No sir, nothing. I ve checked for transmissions of any kind, in any language, on any channel, subspace or otherwise. But there isn't a word."

"Alrighty.", Kirk spoke to the bridge at large, "Partly because of the need for supplies for the engine rooms and mainly to placate Mr. Scott, I'm sending down a party to investigate. The landing party will consist of myself, Mr. Spock, and whoever the first two personnel on the duty roster are."

"That's Ensigns Wilson and Thile, sir.", said Uhura, bringing up their information on her computer.

"Right. Tell them to meet us in the transporter room in ten minutes, lieutenant, thank you."

"Keptin, request to join ze landing party."

"Umm... Might I ask why, Mr. Chekov?"

"Because Keptin, it has been too long since I ve seen fresh air and skies. And since shore leave is still a vay off, I would like to request attendance in thees mission."

"Can you see fresh air, Mister Chekov?", Kirk asked, chuckling to himself. The young Russian Ensign was sometimes, for lack of a better word, simply adorable. Everyone thought so. "Why not? You can come with us, meet me in the transporter room with the other men in ten minutes." And then he strode out of the room and into the turbolift without another word.

"Why'd you really want to go, Chekov?", Sulu leaned towards the young Russian with an air of astounded curiosity.

"Vell, you guys alvays go on thees missions and I haff never been on one. And you alvays come back vith crazy stories and such. I vant to see vhat it is all about."

Sulu stifled a snort. "It's mainly running away from murderous aliens, getting lost or stranded on hostile planets, and generally trying not to get yourself killed." On the few missions he had been a part of, Sulu had quickly learned that there was plenty of bad in the universe to go with all the good. And, for some odd reason, beaming down to an unknown planet was usually followed by an encounter with the bad. He had no desire whatsoever to be part of a landing party ever again, unless in involved a peaceful race with lots of pretty women and copious amounts of brandy. But, knowing the fixes the Enterprise crew seemed to get themselves into, the women would probably be evil and the alcohol poisoned. Or something to that effect.

"Vell," stated Chekov, "I vant to see for myself. And this is a simple mission, eet should be fun." Inwardly, Sulu sighed. There was no such thing as a simple mission.

"Sickbay." Kirk said as he stepped into the turbolift. Spock probably wasn't there, knowing his tendency of avoiding Bones at all costs, but it Kirk wanted Bones medical opinion on his First Officer before they left for the planet. As the turbolift shuddered to a stop, he stepped out of the lift and nodded at Nurse Chapel, asking, "Where's McCoy?".

"He's in his office. Feel free to go on in."

Kirk burst into his CMO s office only to find Bones sleeping soundly in his desk chair, which was leaning back at a precarious angle. Kirk took a step forward, reaching out a single finger towards Bones forehead. Holding his breath with excitement, Kirk gave the man a hard poke.

Bones let out a yelp of surprise and his eyes went wide before toppling backwards into the wall behind him. Struggling to right himself, he pointed menacingly at Kirk.

"You! You just wait until I get my hands on you, I m gonna hypo you into next week!"

"Bones, please...", but Kirk, nearly doubled-over laughing, could barley speak. Still grumbling about hyposprays and revenge, Bones finally managed to stand up and face his red-faced assailant.

"I didn't mean to!" Kirk said, still laughing despite McCoy s menacing glare. "I swear!"

"Like hell you didn't mean to," growled Bones, displeasure apparent in his face, "Did you have a reason for coming up here, other than harassing me?"

"Well Bones, as fun as harassing you is- don't hit me!- I was wondering what you think about Spock?"

"You mean the telepathic signals he's been getting? It'd be a lot easier for me to give you a medical diagnosis if he'd get his Vulcan ass up to sickbay for a real examination! He's been avoiding me all day! But based on what you told me, I would venture to say that whatever's sending those signals has a pretty strong grip on their telepathic powers. To affect Spock like that..."

"I know," said Kirk, "It's sorta freaking me out, to be honest."

"Jim, I don't think you should take him to the planet. If the thing sending those signals can affect him that much at this distance, imagine what it d do to him at a closer range!"

"I know Bones, but I need him. Just cross your fingers for him, okay? See you when we get back."

Bones just nodded and sighed as Kirk walked out the door with a sassy wave.

In the transporter room, the two ensigns and Chekov were waiting.

"Hey, you re the navigator, right?" said the taller one with crazy hair.

"Pavel Chekov, zat's me." he replied, "You are?"

"Ensign Thile. Chris, if ya like." he pointed a thumb to the other redshirt, "This guy's Wilson. He doesn't talk much."

"Nice zu meet you both." Chekov grinned.

"Okay men, you ready to go?" Kirk strode into the room, Spock trailing behind him. There was a general murmur of affirmation as the group arranged themselves on the transporter pads.

"Um, these, uh, telepathic signals, they can't screw with the transporter, can they?" Thile asked, looking worriedly from Spock's paler-than-normal face to Scotty, who was manning the transporter controls.

"That, Ensign, is highly unlikely." said Spock from behind Kirk, "Telepathy can rarely interfere with physical technology."

"And I'm not seeing a wee bit of fluctuation in the instruments, so you lads should be ready to go. Have a nice trip, and bring me engines back some supplies, aye? Scotty grinned as he operated the controls. The room briefly flooded with light and he could just make out the men's rapidly dissolving figures before they were gone entirely.

AN: Hello everyone! So, this is a crazy crack-y idea my brother and I came up with, and somewhere along the line, it actually got a plot and stuff. But expect more crack, silliness, [dead redshirts? maybe maybee] and, dare I say it, KITTENS next chapter.

The redshirts are sweet as can be, and I will try my hardest not to kill them off. No promises though!

Do you like Chekov's accent? He is so adorably fun to write!

I don't know when my next update will be, I've already sorta started the next chapter, and I hope it'll be up before Christmas! However, I'll be gone the week after that, so we'll see. I'll try to update as soon as possible though!

~Review, Kittens, and Poor, poor redshirt Thile,
Flame`Alchemist-sensei