Paralyzed.

The latest episode of 'The Flash' hit a weak, and bruised spot for me. My family have always been prone to accidents and mishaps, be it bruises, scrapes, dislocations or fractures… None of us has ever won at life...

On my dad's side of the family, there have been two (three) life-changing accidents, involving…
Well… The spinal cord… Actually…

One; My aunt…
She got paralyzed in an auto accident when her son was less than a year old. She lived in what I can only think of as a pure hell for about twenty years. I barely remember her.

Second; My dad.
My father's health was failing. But not because he didn't know how to take care of himself, it was because his body was against him. He fought hard every day to keep on being the tough man he was. A man many remember as a loyal friend, and a hard-working man. His work ethics was beyond what could be asked for. A man I can only dream of being compared with, except for when it comes to looks. He had a hard case of Bechterew's disease. And Epilepsy…
One day while riding his bike over to one of his neighbors, he had a seizure. He crashed his bike, and broke his neck. They kept him alive at the hospital for a few more days after that…
But I guess he's better off now, he always called it one of his greatest fears to be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life… I guess he won…?

(Three; My oldest cousin. Son of the aunt I mentioned as number 1.
He died in a motorcycle crash. Broke his back, but it was other internal injuries that killed him.)

Barry's heart dropped. He could see it, but he couldn't feel anything as Cisco's hand landed on his leg. It was like his legs were made out of rubber, like they didn't belong to him.

"Oh no… You're staying put…" Caitlin's hands were on his shoulders, anchoring him to the bed.

"Yeah! Seriously, you got your ass kicked!" Cisco chimed inn.

Thoughts passed through Barry's brain with the usual alarming speed. He saw flashes of the future, a future where he was linked to a wheelchair. It was unsettling, scary even.

His hands squeezed the meaty part of his thighs. Testing whether or not he could feel it.

"No guys…" He could feel his own heart breaking with each syllable that rolled off his tongue. "I can't feel my legs."

There was a moment of confusion, Caitlin and Cisco looked at him. They looked like they hadn't heard, or understood what he had said.

More thoughts raced through his mind. It could happen that he would never run again, that he never would save another life again… That 'The Flash' was dead… So to speak…

"I can't feel my legs…" he looked directly at the two others. His own voice felt distant, unreal, unfazed by the tragedy he was standing in front of. Or you know… Lying in front of…

"You mean like 'my-ass-is-sleeping,-so-I-can't-feel-my-legs' right?" Cisco asked a few seconds later.

"No, Yeah… But no…" The same distant voice. "It's somewhere between numb and I can't feel anything at all… I'm not sure whether I actually feel prickling, or if my mind is playing games with me…"

.FLASH.

A week later, and he still couldn't feel much below his navel, nothing below his hips. His once fast legs were useless. Only distant acquaintances, not really good for anything. The legs were taunting him, reminding him of an era of his life he expected to be lost for all eternity.

With a little help from Cisco, he had been seated in the couch at star labs. At least it made him feel a little bit more normal. The chair was necessary for him to move around on his own, but it was a killer for his back. He hadn't found one position that was comfortable after ten minutes. He had to fight the urge to crack his back all the time. The injury was still to be considered fresh… And he, they, didn't know if it was permanent, or if it could get worse… Of course, things can ALWAYS get worse…

So he tried to behave. He tried to be a good patient…

His hands went down to grip his thighs once again. A weird habit he had made for himself. Nope, his legs were still as dead as earlier. He sighed.

The weight of the world was crushing down on his shoulders. He couldn't be a hero like this, and there were still evil metahumans out there terrorizing Central City.

He felt useless.
He was useless.

Well… Didn't turn out exactly as planned, but what does?

Hope you got through this chapter in one piece.

Geeez… Sometimes when I talk about my family, I sometimes get the urge to wrap myself in bubblewrap and lock myself inside a safe room…