So yeah, suicide fic. Whipped up in half an hour. May trigger.
R.I.P
One slice.
That was all it took.
Just one slice and it would all be over….. Or would it be?
With that one slice, brought the steady dripping of blood, the unbearable pain rippling up my body, the pulsating of my heart slamming against my chest as I struggle to cope with the blood loss.
Maybe a slice was not the best. Maybe a swallow?
One swallow, and I could drift off to sleep.
Drift off to a place where no one could harm me or torment me. I could simply wander a realm of silence, contemplating on my short existence. The pathetic number of years that I achieved in my life.
Ten.
A decade.
Certainly not a lifetime.
Yet, a swallow would be much more painless. No mess to contend with in the aftermath. No screams, which could potentially alert people I do NOT want to view me leave.
I want to be alone when I go. Alone in my thoughts.
Besides, they always say that you should remember people in memories. In happier times.
Which for everyone I will leave, will be a rarity.
I have not been happy for a LONG time and all because of one person.
Someone who does not know me personally, may say that I was foolish to act so selfishly over one person's opinion. After all, one person should not affect your life.
Yet, this one person has utterly DESTROYED my life. Thus, meaning that even if he DID stop, my life would still be a shambles. I am completely broken, beyond the point of repair.
I guess that I had always seen this coming.
The breakdown.
The breakdown of both mind and spirit, which led me to turn to such serious measures.
Of course, my body was already broken. Thank the asthma and weak Immune system for that.
And I know that I should fight… But after years of torments, and both physical and verbal attacks, I do not see the point.
My friends tried to help and though they suffer as well, I seem to take on the brunt of it. And I am SICK and TIRED of being so fearful. I doubt this will happen, but I hope me leaving will shock him out of his ways, and maybe he'll even come to regret his actions.
Like I just said, it is a very serious doubt.
And you could say that school does not take over your life, and that is true. Outside of school, I can be quite happy. With my group, I can forget. Simply clear my mind and enjoy my life.
But at any time, my mind can lapse and it all comes crashing back down around me. Which has happened an awful LOT recently.
No matter who I tell, nothing is done. My friends cannot halt the torments, and me? Hah, yeah nice one.
I guess I could attempt to halt it and if by some miracle, I succeeded, I could focus on stopping him from finding a new victim. Though somehow, I think that my role will never be replaced.
It was like the role of his victim was ready-made for me. Just waiting for ME to come along so he could get started.
I am tired of everything and have come to the conclusion that this world is better off without me. Everyone is and even my friends are, and Ingrid, my sweet Ingrid, she will grieve, but she will find someone else. In due time.
My brother. He can do our parents proud where I failed.
My foster sister. She can take my place and live up to what I could not be.
My parents. Losing a child is heart-breaking, but gaining another, in the form of my foster sister, will heal the pain.
I understand that my actions will be selfish and that I should have fought more, but the one positive I am gaining out of all of this, is that once I am gone, he will no longer have a victim.
My friends…. They will be able to stand up against him. More than I could ever do.
Losing me will have a benefit. I will be depriving my tormentor of his play toy.
And I will be happy.
One slice.
Seems like the faster option.
Indeed, it is.
Fin.