So guys...here is the second part of my "Journey"-story. I really hurried up to update it soon and now I'm not sure if it's good enough. So please tell me what you think about it! This is another song-fic again...So, the song is cursive, the dialogue is bold-typed and her thoughts are written the normal way.
The song is "Stupid" by Sarah McLachlan.
And only one thing more: At first I only wanted to write this as a one parter. I just wanted to write Jess' POV, but now there is a whole story that came up into my mind. Should I keep on writing this story or should it end now? So, in case that I won't write another chapter I updated this part not as a chapter of the story "A Journey". Please let me know what you think! 'Cause reviews make happy, you knnow!
So enough now...Enjoy reading this, though I think it's not that good as part one...
Oh my God, that has been a horrible night! For luck, Dean came to save me from this jerk Graham. Now I am sitting next to him in his car and I am looking out of the window into this bright night with the sky full of shining stars.
In the radio a song tingles silently and I begin to remember our good and bad times...
°°°Flashback°°°
Night lift up the shades let in the brilliant light of morning
But steady me now for I am weak and starving for mercy
Sleep has left me alone to carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong
It's all I can do to hang on, to keep me from falling into old familiar shoes
RORY: What are you doing here?
Oh it was great to see you again. I've missed you, I guess.
JESS: Hello to you, too.
RORY: Is everything okay?
JESS: You look nice.
RORY: Thank you. What are you doing here?
I really wanted to know it! Why did you come back?
JESS: I moved back.
You did what?
RORY: What?
JESS: I moved back.
You did what? I wasn't able to believe this!
RORY: But – what – why?
JESS: Just wanted to.
Something made me taking a step forward. I couldn't help. I had to kiss you. And your lips were softer than I thoought they would be. And I liked kissing you! You were so tender but I could feel you wrapping your arms around me and I was getting nervous. Oh my God. Dean. I was kissing another guy! I was Deans girlfriend and I was kissing another guy!
RORY: Oh my God! Oh my God!
What have I done?
JESS: Rory.
RORY: Don't say a word!
JESS: Okay.
RORY: I have to go.
Oh my God. I had to get out of this!
RORY: Oh, welcome home!
How stupid could I be
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see
Oh and there was this day of the dance marathon. It was a day of changes.
My moms shoe broke, so she had to leave to get it fixed and I was dancing with Dean. He was holding me in his arms and I liked the warmth he gave me.
But then I glanced around and I saw you. You were still there. With her.
RORY: He's still there.
All day long I've tried to ignore you and your new girlfriend. But I saw you everywhere. On the bleachers, outside with Lane. Just everywhere I went.
DEAN: What?
RORY: Jess. He's still there. I can't believe he's still there.
DEAN: Just ignore him.
RORY: Yeah. You know, this is a dance marathon. You're not supposed to come and sit and watch, you're supposed to dance. He's just trying to bug me, sitting there right in front of me, staring. Jerk.
But honestly, I liked it seeing you there. I liked knowing that you were around me.
SHANE: I'm bored.
JESS: Okay.
And then you started kissing her. It was like a twitch in my heart. I hated it, seeing you two together. Kissing.
And you knew it. You knew it would hurt me. But why did you do it? Did you want to see me hurt?
RORY: There they go again! God, I swear, why can't they just get a room? Or forget a room – get a park bench, or a doorway, or even a strategically placed telephone pole would probably suffice. I mean, girls like Shane – what is it with them? Don't they see what they look like? I know they have mirrors.
Boy, I've been jealous!
JESS: Hey, you talking about me?
RORY: No.
JESS: I heard you mention Shane.
RORY: Shane isn't you.
JESS: Shane concerns me.
RORY: Shane concerns me, too – and all women, for that matter.
So, what the helll was I talking about?
JESS: You got a problem here?
RORY: Nope. Just a little sick of seeing the two of you sitting there. If you're not gonna participate, then why don't you just leave?
It wasn't your participation thing that annoyed me. I just hated seeing you there together with her. And you were kissing her!
SHANE: That works for me. Let's go.
JESS: No.
RORY: Why not?
JESS: Because I'm not ready to go.
RORY: Oh really?
Why couldn't she go? She was the disturbing-factor.
JESS: Yes, really. I'm gonna sit here as long as I like, and I'm gonna do whatever I like, and if you don't like it, then just ignore me and pay attention to your boyfriend.
DEAN: Sorry, she can't. I'm not her boyfriend anymore.
RORY: What?
What did he say? Why so suddenly? Why at this moment?
DEAN: You know, I tried to ignore this. I really did, but I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
RORY: What are you talking about?
I knew you liked hearing Dean saying these things.
DEAN: You don't wanna be with me, Rory.
RORY: Yes, I do.
And I really did. I loved him. Or I thought I loved him. I thought our relationship would last. Forever.
DEAN: Oh, please! You've been into him since he got to town, and I have spent weeks – months, actually – trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that everything was fine between us. But now I know that I was an idiot. You're into him and he's into you, and Shane, who by the way, should be listening to this 'cause it's so damn obvious.
RORY: What's obvious? What did I do?
I always tried to hide things. I tried to hide what I was feeling. For you. I didn't mean to hurt him. Just as I didn't mean to hurt you. I should have told him. I should have told you. But I didn't. Was it that obvious what I was thinking?
DEAN: Everyone can see, Rory! Everyone. And I'm tired, but I'm over it, so go ahead, go. Be together. There's nothing standing in your way now, 'cause I'm out.
Then he grabbed his jacket and went out of the gymnasium. I knew you were listening to this whole conversation. And it hurt me to see him leaving. But then I looked at you and I saw this look in your eyes. And I knew somehow that everything would be fine. One day.
Love has made me a fool set me on fire and watched as I floundered
Unable to speak except to cry out and wait for your answer
Later you came to me to the bridge. It was our place. And I didn't know where to go. So I went there. And you knew I would be there. So you came and you stood there, looking at me. To make the situation more comfortable you just said what came to your mind. You even said something...nice, I guess...
JESS: Dean's a jerk. Yelling at you like that, breaking up in front of everybody. . .the guy's a total jerk.
RORY: No, he's not. He's right. Everything he said. All those things about you and me, all those things about me lying to him, and messing with his head. He was right. Well, wasn't he?
You said nothing. You just stood there and looked at me. I thought I could be able to hear my heart beating against my chest.
RORY: Fine, he was right about me, then. Now go away.
I've been disappointed. I thought he had been right. But obviously you didn't think that, too. So why did you come to the bridge? Just to look at me? Seeing me crying?
JESS: He was right. . . about all of it.
Finally you said it! I've been so glad to hear those words from you! So I knew you had the same feelings as I had. The whole time.
RORY: So, what now?
JESS: You're definitely broken up with Dean?
RORY: Yeah, I'm definitely broken up with Dean.
JESS: Okay. I have to go take care of something then.
It was the day you and me found together. And our time was great. With you I could talk about all the books I've read. And we had fun. We had a lot of fun. I just enjoyed being with you.
But then there was this day...
And you come around in your time speaking of fabulous places
Create an oasis that dries up as soon as you're gone
You leave me here burning in this desert without you
I've been on my way to school. We haven't talked for a while after this disaster at Kyles party. Then I saw you in the back of this bus. So I walked over to you.
RORY: Hey.
Oh God. It was like my heart was in my mouth.
JESS: Hey.
RORY: Can I sit?
I've been really nervous. I mean we didn't have a fight before. And this really was no fight. We weren't discussing or arguing. You just went away and now everything was like before. I thought it would be like before.
JESS: Uh, sure, sit. I thought you took an earlier bus.
RORY: My first class got canceled today.
JESS: Oh. So what's been going on?
RORY: Nothing much. Fran died.
JESS: I heard.
RORY: I went to her funeral yesterday.
JESS: Luke went, too.
RORY: I saw him there.
JESS: Yeah?
RORY: He was in the back.
It was weird to talk to you about these unimportant things.
JESS: I can't go to the prom. I couldn't get tickets.
RORY: Oh.
Why did you do this? I was looking forward to my prom! I mean, it was my prom! And I haven't been there. 'Cause of you. And I hated you for that.
JESS: Sorry.
The next was my stop and I had to leave. I had to leave this uncomfortable situation. And I didnt know this was the last real conversation I would have had with you.
RORY: This is my stop.
JESS: Okay.
RORY: So, you'll call me?
And you really did. But you didn't say aything.
JESS: Yeah, I'll call you.
You broke my heart.
( While remembering back a big tear runs down Rorys cheek. )
How stupid could I be
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see
I didn't hear anything from you for a year. And I wasn't thinking of you anymore. My memories were buried in my mind. And I had a new life. Without you.
I was standing in line for a burger as I saw you in the streets of Stars Hollow.
RORY: I get to leave first!
And I ran as fast as I was able to run!
JESS: Rory, wait! Stop!
Then you started following me.
RORY: No, you don't get to walk away!
JESS: Hold on!
RORY: My town! I leave!
JESS: I just wannawhere are you going?
RORY: None of your business!
JESS: We look like idiots.
Oh yes we did!
RORY: I don't care!
JESS: Stop running!
RORY: Stop following!
JESS: Oh, come on!
RORY: Go away, I'm leaving!
JESS: Rory, stop!
RORY: Why?
JESS: Because I wanna talk to you.
This sentence made me stop running.
RORY: About what? What do you want to talk to me about?
JESS: When did you learn to run like that?
RORY: You know, I have actually thought about this moment. A lot. What would Jess say to me I ever saw him again? I mean, he just took off, no note, no call, nothing, how could he explain that? And then a year goes by. No word, nothing, so he couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that, right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines, and I have to tell you that I am actually very curious to see which way this is going to go.
And I was thinking about our renunion a thousand times. I was hurt by the way how you left. You didn't say a word to me. You just left. And I really wanted to know how you wanted to let this end.
JESS: Could we sit down?
RORY: No. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me?
You paused a second, staring at me. And I didn't expect what you said at least.
JESS: I love you.
It was like time would stop by. You said these words I wanted you for over a year to say them to me. And I wasn't able to answer. 'Cause you ran away. Again.
Everything changes everything falls apart
I can't stand to feel myself losing control
In the deep of my weakness I know
°°°End of Flashback°°°
Great! We are in Yale! So I think this horrible night will possibly stop now. It was really nice from him to come and save me from these jerks.
RORY: It's only hitting me now. My classes are done done. I don't have to think about Chaucer or Euclid or Kafka or Machiavelli for months. I can just think about Jane magazine and why did Uma wear that dress fun stuff like that.
DEAN: You'll still think about Kafka...and probably Chaucer.
RORY: Probably. But those other two bozos are history. You hear me? History! See in there?
DEAN: Yeah.
RORY: First semester poli sci.
DEAN: Which was your seat?
RORY: Oh, we didn't have assigned seats, but I usually sat with my back to the window so I wouldn't get distracted.
DEAN: This campus is huge.
RORY: And you're seeing it at a weird time 'cause we're probably the last two people left.
Now we enter my dorm. I have to say that my night out hasn't been that horrible. It has been, until he came. With him the evenning went funny and I've laughed a lot. I like being with him.
DEAN: Man, it's good to get out. It's good to laugh. I laughed tonight. You're funny.
RORY: I can be funny.
DEAN: That's what I just said.
RORY: Yeah, but you said it like I never am.
DEAN: You you're funny.
RORY: Yeah? Well, this is my room.
DEAN: I know.
RORY: Oh, right, you've been here before.
DEAN: Yeah.
RORY: Well, thanks for saving me.
DEAN: Yeah, anytime.
RORY: (uncertainly) Dean, how is it that you can be out like this, here, with me, or with anyone, for that matter? Where does Lindsay think you are?
DEAN: She thinks I'm out.
So, he's lying to her.
RORY: Out where?
DEAN: Doesn't matter.
RORY: What's going on with you?
Suddenly the door to this buliding opens and you are standing there in the door frame. But why?
RORY: What are you doing here?
JESS: I need to talk to you.
Oh sure! You wanna talk to me. Yeah, sure...
DEAN: Jess...
JESS: I need to talk to you.
DEAN: What's going on?
Oh please no other fight again! I thought we would have been over these kindergarten things!
RORY: What are you doing here?
JESS: Rory, please.
DEAN: Rory?
RORY: (to Dean) Go go home.
DEAN: No.
Oh please, Dean! I have to talk to him. Or even let him talking to me.
RORY: Yes, go. You should go.
Okay...Dean left. I am alone with you now. Oh God...
RORY: Why won't you leave me alone? You won't go away.
JESS: Rory.
RORY: What do you want?
JESS: I don't know. I just wanted to see you, talk to you. I just...
RORY: What?
JESS: Come with me.
What did you just say?
RORY: What?
JESS: Come with me.
RORY: Where?
JESS: I don't know...away!
Me. Rory. I shall go away with you. You. Jess.
RORY: Are you crazy?
JESS: Probably. Do it. Come with me. Don't think about it.
Tzzz...don't think about it! You know I can't do anything without having thought about it a hundred times. And even after that I hesitate!
RORY: I can't do that.
( Rory opens the door to her dorm and walks in )
JESS: You don't think you can do it but you can. You can do whatever you want.
RORY: It's not what I want.
Is it what I want? Is it not what I want? I don't know anymore what I ever wanted!
JESS: It is. I know you.
Sure! You think you know me. Just because I have been your girlfriend. But you never wanted to get to know me better.
RORY: You don't know me!
Or do you? Maybe you know me better than anyone else.
JESS: Look, we'll go to New York. We'll work, we'll live together, we'll be together. It's what I want. It's what you want, too.
Just stop talking!
RORY: No!
JESS: I want to be with you, but not here. Not this place, not Stars Hollow. We have to start new.
Start? We? No. You've had your chance and you blew it up.
RORY: There's nothing to start!
Is there really nothing to start?
JESS: You're packed. Your stuff is all in boxes. It's perfect. You're ready. And I'm ready. I'm ready for this. You can count on me now. I know you couldn't count on me before, but you can now. You can.
How shall I know?
RORY: No!
JESS: Look, you know we're supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago, and you know it, too. I know you do.
Please, Jess! Stop talking! Leave me alone. It's too much. You cannot come and take me by surprise! You can't!
RORY: No, no, no, no, no!
JESS: Don't say "no" just to make me stop talking or make me go away. Only say "no" if you really don't want to be with me.
The END ?