Title: The Road Merely Begins Anew
Author: Padawan Jess Kenobi
Timeframe: Obi is 24
Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon
Genre: Drama, friendship
Disclaimer: If I was brilliant enough to have invented Star Wars, I would already be making a movie just about Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon in their younger days. Needless to say, SW does not belong to me.
Summary: It is Obi-Wan's 24th birthday, and he dwells on the fact that his time with Qui-Gon is coming to an end. Drama/comfort
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Obi-Wan Kenobi stood in front of the window and silently watched the sun rise over Coruscant's horizon. He had seen many sunrises in his life, and yet every time still felt like the first. The waking city was splashed in brilliant hues of pink and yellow, and it captivated Obi-Wan in its hold.
He did not move his head or even blink as he felt a presence behind him, having sensed it far before he heard the slight whisper of a cloak. "Good morning Master," he greeted amiably.
He felt Qui-Gon move gracefully over to his side, and stand close to him. The older man watched the sunrise in silence for a moment, his appreciation of natural beauty touched by the sight. He then turned his head slightly to regard his Obi-Wan.
"Happy birthday, padawan," Qui-Gon said quietly, sensing that something was not quite right with his apprentice's mood.
"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan said simply, finally breaking his gaze from the sunrise as if coming out of a trance. He looked down at his intertwined fingers, and fell still.
Qui-Gon regarded the young Jedi's somber expression for a moment, and then spoke again. "I remember that not so very long ago, you were always quite excited for your birthday. I hope turning the ripe old age of 24 has not dimmed your enthusiasm," he quipped lightly, though he treaded carefully. Obi-Wan was not one to brood without reason, but he did have moments of seriousness and deep thought that were always significant.
A hint of a smile graced Obi-Wan's lips, turning them upwards. He lifted his head and looked over at Qui-Gon for the first time . The pale morning light cast an ethereal glow about the young man's head, and his hair shone like burnished gold in the sun. Looking into his eyes was like gazing at the sea when all the colors of the water were at their most beautiful array of blues and greens. Though now, Qui-Gon noticed, the cerulean color was offset slightly by a tinge of gray, which reflected the sadness on the padawan's handsome face.
Obi-Wan's fingers moved slightly, and Qui-Gon suddenly noticed that his apprentice was clutching a rock in his hands. "Is that the rock I gave you on your 13th birthday?" he asked, touched that his padawan still cared for it.
Obi-Wan smiled again, though it was merely the shadow of his usual smile that often had the power to brighten a room. "I have treasured it since the day you gave it to me," he answered honestly, running a finger gently over its red-veined surface."It marked the starting of our journey together, unsure and tentative as it may have been in the beginning."
Qui-Gon watched the shadow fall on Obi-Wan's face again, and he paused a moment. This morose side was not one that Qui-Gon usually saw from his apprentice, and he was confused as to what brought it about. "What is the matter, padawan?" he asked gently, turning slightly to face the younger man.
Obi-Wan sighed softly, and lowered his eyes to the rock in his hand. It seemed to pulse with a gentle but sure beat under his fingers, and he drew comfort from it as he had done in the past. "It seemed like a lifetime ago," he said melancholically.
Qui-Gon waited silently for Obi-Wan to continue.
"I was young and arrogant, and I caused you much pain in the past, Master. For that I am truly sorry, and I wish I could have seen the error of my ways at the time. If I had been a wiser man, I never would have burdened you with my mistakes, or let you down."
Qui-Gon did not like the direction his padawan's words were taking, and he interrupted him suddenly. "You were impulsive and had a lot to learn at times, but you never were a burden. Do not ever think that, padawan. I was stubborn and unyielding back then, and my uneasiness to accept you in the beginning was not your fault, but my own. I was hesitant, and I could not see what you seemed to know from the very start; that we were chosen by the Force and that we would teach each other." He deliberately stopped his thought short and watched for Obi-Wan's reaction.
The young man's face was unreadable as he turned to look at his Master, but his eyes were stormy now. "From this point on, every day that passes brings me one day closer to the Trials," he said suddenly.
"It is an honor to face the Trials and become a Knight," Qui-Gon said slowly, starting to believe that he had caught on to the source of Obi-Wan's troubles. "It will not be long now until the Council will deem you prepared, though I have believed you ready for years now. I have no doubt that you will pass easily, Obi-Wan, for you have become a far greater Jedi than I could ever have hoped."
Obi-Wan smiled sadly, and shook his head. "Once I face the trials, I will no longer be your padawan."
"I will be the first to attest that you certainly have earned it," Qui-Gon said lightly, though the heaviness in his heart belied his simple words.
"You misunderstand my intent, Master," he replied softly, the turmoil in his voice untypical of him. "If I gain the title of Knight, I will have lost you." He looked up, and Qui-Gon saw suddenly that unshed tears marred the young man's eyes like the melancholy waves of a distraught sea.
Qui-Gon was shocked for a moment, expecting Obi-Wan to say anything but what he did. "Lost me?" he replied after a few seconds, shaking his head. It was rare that he found himself caught off-guard or unsure of what to say, but he found himself in one of those situations now.
Obi-Wan nodded, and Qui-Gon could see the struggle he faced in keeping his emotions under a semblance of control. "We will no longer be a Master and Padawan team. You will move on to pick a new apprentice, and you will have a new life to nurture and change as you did mine."
Qui-Gon was still shaking his head as Obi-Wan finished speaking. "What are you talking about, Obi-Wan?" he asked almost dumbly, still unable to completely understand what his padawan was saying.
"Your teachings will stay with me forever, for they have made me into who I am today, and for that I am always grateful. I realize that I can never repay you for all that you have done for me, and even if we grow apart, I will always remember and cherish our memories together."
"Are you saying that you think once you pass the Trials I will simply forget you?" Qui-Gon asked in amazement.
Obi-Wan tried to hide his distress behind an expression of calm, but it still managed to slip through. "It is only natural that when you take another apprentice, you will devote your time into training him, and that will be your sole concern."
Qui-Gon knew that he shouldn't, but he could not help but let out a loud, sudden laugh.
A pained look crossed Obi-Wan's face, and he turned his gaze away from the older Jedi. "I was hardly making a joke, Master," he muttered darkly, a blush creeping over his cheeks.
"I am sorry," Qui-Gon said, quickly sobering himself. "I didn't mean to laugh, and it certainly was not out of cruelty. But I find the idea that you believe I will forget you to be slightly humorous." Obi-Wan looked as if he was about to say something, but Qui-Gon cut him off before he could get the words out. "I could never forget you, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan's strong chin seemed to tremble for a moment, but then it was still. "You will move on after I am no longer your padawan, and our journey together will be only a memory," he replied, his voice so low that Qui-Gon had to strain to hear him.
"That is where you are wrong," Qui-Gon answered, shaking his head in disagreement. "Look at me, Obi-Wan," he said gently, and waited until his padawan's eyes met his own light blue ones. "You have given me more than I could ever have deserved. You have taught me lessons that I did not think I needed to learn, and you showed me things in ways I have never seen them before. One does not simply forget these things."
"Our paths will go in two different directions," Obi-Wan replied, and the pain was more evident on his face this time.
"You fear that once we are no longer a team that I will not care for you anymore," Qui-Gon said gently.
Obi-Wan hesitated a moment, and he suddenly looked like the young boy of 14 that Qui-Gon once knew. He then nodded slowly, as if aware of his vulnerability in that admittance.
Qui-Gon looked at the young man beside him, and he felt a sadness creep into his own heart. He raised a hand and put it comfortingly on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Distance can only separate two people physically, but it cannot shatter a bond. What we have as a Master and Padawan team goes far beyond titles and status, you must understand this. We were brought together under this circumstance, but with time something more than that grows. I have come to respect you not only as a Jedi, but as a person.
"It is true that we will no longer be together in formality, and we may never be assigned to the same mission again. But my caring for you will not end. You have been with me for the past ten years, and you have risked your life for me more times than I can count. You have stood by my side when I faltered, and you made me whole when I was broken. You have been more than a student to me, you have been my friend. And one does not simply forget, or let slip away, a friendship that truly matters."
"I do not know how I will live without you at my side, without your guidance and your strength," Obi-Wan admitted, though it made him feel small to do so.
"You will," Qui-Gon reassured softly. "You have so much of your life to live still, so much goodness to spread. I have had the privilege of watching you grow before my very eyes, and knowing that in you, there is a strength and a kindness that will never waver. You will choose a padawan some day, and you will bless their lives with your very presence, as you blessed mine."
Obi-Wan did not even seem to notice that a tear fell from his eye as he looked up at his Master. He struggled with the words to convey what he was feeling, but found that nothing could do it justice. "Any goodness that is in me I learned from you, Master. You not only taught me how to be a Jedi, but how to be a good person, and how to care selflessly for others. You have been like a father to me, and I cannot find the words even now to thank you enough for what you did." Obi-Wan's voice faltered with emotion, and another tear fell silently down his cheek.
Qui-Gon felt his heart tugged by his padawan's words, and he himself had to swallow a rush of emotion. "You are my greatest joy, padawan. And when the title of Knight is given to you, it will be the proudest day of my life." Qui-Gon's eyes shone with the genuine love of a parent to a child, and he squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulder in a sign of affection.
This time Obi-Wan truly could not speak, and he simply stared at Qui-Gon, his eyes saying all the words that he could not.
"We will treasure the time we have together, but we will not mourn it when it is over, for it is not lost. The road does not end here, padawan, but merely begins anew."
Obi-Wan smiled, and it was even more beautiful than the sunrise behind him. "I see now that our bond cannot be broken by separation, or even by time, and that gives me comfort."
Qui-Gon did not answer, but kept his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder as the two Jedi watched the sun ascend into the sky. After a few minutes passed by in silence, Qui-Gon spoke again. "I had almost forgotten; what would you like for your birthday, padawan?"
Obi-Wan smiled again, and looked over at Qui-Gon. "I could want nothing more than what you have just given me, Master," he replied softly. His eyes shone with a peace that calmed the storm, and returned them to their cerulean color that still glistened with the hint of tears, though they were of happiness this time.
The road does not end here, but merely begins anew.
FIN
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