This is for a prompt that my friend gave me: Write something where all the Originals get really drunk and something horrible/ hilarious happens as a side effect. It takes place sometime in season 3 after the Ball but without the whole "Esther and Finn wanting to kill the other Originals" thing. Warning: it is complete crack.
If you asked most people they would blame Elijah. If you asked him, he would blame Rebekah, who would then blame Kol, who would gladly take the blame. Klaus blamed himself for undaggering his siblings. Finn blamed Mikael and Esther for continuing to have children after he was born.
It would have been a nice, regular night in the somewhat peaceful town of Mystic Falls (or at least it was peaceful before all the supernatural drama happened) but Kol had to be Kol and antagonize his dear little sister. After her dalliance with Damon, he decided that the appropriate course of action would be to compel a seamstress to stitch big red "A"s onto all of Rebekah's clothing. Needless to say this ended with a lot of shouting going on it the Original's household.
Elijah sighed and took a sip of his whiskey; this was going to be a long night.
"Kol! You bloody arse! You absolute-" A string of colorful language followed and Elijah decided against sipping his whiskey and started downing it by the glass. Klaus slide a shot over to Kol and they started taking one every time Rebekah swore, it was a game that they had perfected over the past thousand years. "I can't believe your gall at doing such a thing! You know what! My new wardrobe can go on your bloody credit card!" Finn joined Elijah and started tossing back shots of his own.
Suddenly what Rebekah was saying had no relevance as she had four shitfaced brothers on her hands.
"You know what we should do Nikky? We should do Karaoke!" Kol yelled.
"Yeah!" Finn exclaimed "We can do it at the little place that's over there" Finn pointed in the general direction of where the Grill would be located, "Bekah, drive us please!" He slurred out.
Rebekah sighed, she hated when she had to babysit her brothers. They acted like two year olds and she had much better things to do with her time, but it was this or let them run wild on their own, which would probably end with more deaths then she cared to clean up.
"ALL I WANNA DO IS LOVE YOUR BODY OH OH OH OH TONIGHT'S YOUR LUCKY NIGHT, I KNOW YOU WANT IT, OH OH OH OH" Elijah half screamed, half sung at the top of his lungs.
"IT'S TRUE WHAT YOU HEARD, I AM A FREAK, I'M DISTURBED" Finn joined in for the second verse while Klaus and Kol sat at the bar, ordering more shots and looking extremely proud of their off-key brothers.
Klaus nudged Caroline, "See that up there? Those are my brothers! Aren't they great?" Caroline looked horrified and Rebekah couldn't hold back a giggle at her brother's expense.
"She doesn't like you, Nik"
"What?" Klaus looked like a little child that was just told Santa wasn't real, "Why doesn't the pretty lady like me?"
Caroline looked at Rebekah with sheer panic in her eyes, and Rebekah shook her head, "Oh no, you can handle this one, I'm going to make sure Kol doesn't kill Matt."
"Why don't you like me, pretty lady?" Klaus asked again.
"Because you tried to kill my best friend and sired my ex-boyfriend," Caroline tried to explain in her gentlest voice possible, hoping that Klaus would understand.
"So?"
"That's the wrong thing to do." Caroline tried again
"But if it's just that-"
"But it wasn't just that, you're evil." Klaus cocked his head to the side, still not understanding. Caroline sighed, "Evil is bad."
"Ohhhhh," Klaus drawled out, finally somewhat understanding what the pretty girl was saying.
"Niiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" A six-foot tall ball of pure drunken energy bumped into Caroline, before bouncing back to land in front of Klaus. "Dance with me," It pulled Klaus up and whisked him away to one of the tables and joined their brothers dancing on top of it.
"Your brothers are idiots when their drunk," Caroline commented as Rebekah plopped down next to her.
"Not just when their drunk," Rebekah muttered and they watched as Finn dived, not fell but dived, off the table he was on and land face first on the floor. Caroline compelled one of the bartenders to give them two shot glasses and leave the bottle of the hardest liquor they had. When Rebekah gave her a questioning look she shrugged;
"If you can't beat them then might as well join them. Shot for every time they do something stupid?" They were drunk within five minutes. "You know who reaaaalllllllyyyyyy likes you?" Caroline grinned at Rebekah, "Matt does!" Then she sat back and looked as if she just discovered the answer to the universe.
"Reaaaallllllyyyyyy?" Rebekah slurred back. Caroline nodded enthusiastically. "You know who reaaallllyyyyy likes you? Nikky does!" Rebekah said in one breathe.
"But he's evvvviiiiilllllllll"
"But he looooovvvvveeessssss you," Rebekah responded, "And he wouldn't be evil to youuuuuu" Caroline screwed up her face in confusion at the juxtaposition of Klaus's attitude towards her versus the rest of the world. Luckily for her drunken brain, she did not have to think about it for long before they were ambushed by Rebekah's brothers.
"Bekah, I wanna go someplace else, this is boring," Kol said, which was followed by nods of agreement from the rest of her brothers.
"I know where to go," Caroline piped up, "There is this awesome place behind the Lockswoods homes,"
"Okay, let's go," Rebekah and Caroline stumbled out of their barstools, and Caroline almost fell, before Klaus caught her.
"Pretty Lady, is coming with us," Caroline nodded and giggled in response, then jumped on his back.
"You're gonna be my horsie," She exclaimed at a volume definitely not meant for indoors.
The Originals (and Caroline) crammed into the little car they had brought with them to the grill, after stealing another couple bottles of liquor from the Grill. Eventually they figured out a configuration with Elijah driving, Rebekah in that passenger seat and Caroline spread out over Klaus, Kol, and Finn's laps in the backseat.
Damon had decided earlier that such a nice night meant people would be leaving town to go camping, and thus elected to use his signature move to lie in the street to lure travelers out of their cars and then eat them. Alas, like countless others, he did not expect a caravan full of Originals (and Caroline) to be speeding down the road.
Inside the Original's automobile a crunch was heard, and Caroline dizzily sat up and slurred out something that resembled "what's that". Rebekah left the car to investigate, mostly to see if the dead thing had any salvageable blood left. However, at that moment, Damon chose to sit up, a poor choice for everyone involved.
Rebekah jumped back and for the first time in a hour said something intelligible (sort of): "'Lijah! The dead thing moved!" The proper course of action here was obviously to run over Damon again, so Elijah, being ever the proper gentlemen, did. Rebekah ran back into the car and announced that "it's a smear now! Good job!" A loud cheer came from the backseat and Caroline, ever the sympathetic one, passed a bottle up to her shaking new friend.
Having arrived at the Lockwood house, Caroline tiptoed out back with the Originals on her heels. Once the made into the woods, Caroline started to skip along her made up path, falling on a regular basis. Klaus finally got tired of his future girlfriend (or at least she was in his head) falling and instead decided to pick her up. Caroline drunkenly giggled, patted his head, and pointed in seemly random directions to get them to the super awesome place that she bragged about on the way over. Finally, they found a pond with a rope swing attached to one of the trees beside it.
Caroline jumped out of Klaus's arms, stripped down to her underwear, and she ran to swing. "Come on guys!" she hollered, and processed to jump into the lake. Rebekah made a very un-lady like snort at her new friend's antics, but followed her in anyway. The brothers just shrugged at each other and used their impaired judgment to deem that this was a great idea and repeated the ladies' actions.
"Bekah! You be the judge! Kol says that he can do a better jump off the swing than me, but he's wrong!"
"Nooooo, you can't have Bekah be the judge, she's obviously gonna choose you!"
"Well then she'd be right," Caroline retorted and stuck her tongue out at Kol.
"Have 'Lijah and Finn be the judges! They'll be fair!"
"Fine!" Caroline ran up to the rope swing and did a double twist back flip off of it. "Beat that!" She taunted.
"I will," Kol pouted. He ran up the swing and did a small leap off of it into the water. Drunken minds work in mysterious ways. Needless to say, Caroline won.
"Carolineeeeeeee," Rebekah dragged out, "Let's play Truth or Dareeeeee. Niiiiikkkkkk, I wanna play truth or dare."
It was Rebekah's whining that had gotten them drunk today, so giving in might have been the best course of action. Alcohol poisoning would have been a super lame death for an Original. Most of the dares were pretty tame, for a group of people that had lived so long, you would have thought that they would be better at a teenage party game. Caroline dared Klaus to sing a Taylor Swift song (which Rebekah was sober enough to videotape), and Kol dared both Elijah and Finn to take as many shots as they could in a minute. Caroline was quite the inquirer when it came to truths, but most of those were pretty tame too, she was just curious about life outside of Mystic Falls. Often as it is, it was Kol who broke the monotonous tempo of the game. Caroline got dared by him to sneak into the Lockwood house and steal as many boxes of matches that she could find until she got caught.
And that is how Tyler Lockwood found his half-naked ex-girlfriend dripping water on the floor of his father's office, looking for matches, at 2 AM.
"Oops!" Caroline giggled, "I got caught" And whooshed out of the room back to the clearing in the woods, tripping occasionally along the way. Tyler trailed after her, curious to see the reason behind her actions.
He certainly did not expect to see five drunken half-naked Originals sitting on the forest floor.
"Hey! Caroline! Why'd you bring the hybrid puppy with you? I don't want Nik's hybrid pup here! Puppy go bye-bye?" Kol rushed out.
"Gladly!" Tyler exclaimed in response, "so did not need to see that," He murmured on his way back to his house.
Caroline shrugged, "I didn't know he was following me. But look at all the matches I found!" She spread her loot across the forest floor for the rest of the group to admire, "What are we going to do with them Kol?" She whispered to him. Or, at least Caroline thought she whispered, it really came out at a level slightly below a bellow.
"Follow me!" Kol said happily as he dispensed the matches among the group. Still undressed, they all followed him out into the town square. "Watch this!" He shouted before lighting the Mystic Grill on fire. There was a resounding "ohhh" from the rest of the Originals, and they set off to light up the rest of the town.
And that was how the town of Mystic Falls ceased to exist at 3 AM on a nice, clear, June night.
The next afternoon, The Originals (and their new baby vampire companion), could be found spread out across the road outside of Mystic Falls, stopping traffic from all directions.
Rebekah fell asleep on the hood of their car after shoving Kol in the trunk when he was passed out. Elijah was using the remains of Damon Salvatore as a pillow while getting his beauty rest. Finn was on the roof of the car cuddling a bottle of rum. Klaus was lucky enough to fall asleep in the backseat of the car, and Caroline was lucky enough to have Klaus to use as a bed.
It would have been the perfect situation, if all the honking hadn't woken them up.
Elijah groaned, Rebekah grumbled, Klaus pulled Caroline closer, Finn tried to cuddle closer to his bottle but ended up breaking it, and Kol yelled a muffed "Hey!" from the trunk. It was the "Hey" that finally woke the rest of them up. Finn frowned at the sticky liquid that covered him, Elijah wiped some of Damon's insides off his face, Rebekah hopped down from the hood, Caroline sat up too quickly and hit her head on the roof of the car, and Klaus just grumbled at being disturbed.
Somehow they all made it to the back of the car where Kol was located. Klaus was going to open the trunk, but Rebekah sat on it and shook her head. Who was he to disagree with his little sister? Kol cursed and Caroline asked the million dollar question: "What happened?"
"Well for one it looks like we burned down Mystic Falls," Rebekah replied.
"Damon Salvatore met his demise and it seems likely that we might have had something to do with it," Elijah glanced down at vaguely Damon-like remains.
"Okay, but is everyone else naked?" Kol's muted voice said again.
"Um, half, we're half-naked," Caroline responded, in a slightly embarrassed tone. "But do any of you know how this started?"
"Elijah!" Kol answered, "He's the one who started the drinking! You really should set a better example next time big brother." The other Originals agreed and started to try to put the pieces together of their previous night. "Next time can you choose a better town to burn down though, 'Lijah?" Kol reasonably requested.
But it was to empty air that he made his appeal, Elijah had already found his way to the nearest airport to get a flight to France.
"He did not just leave me here to deal with you whack-jobs!" Finn shrieked and took off after Elijah in a vain effort to escape the crazier side of his family.
"They were buzz kills anyway!" Kol brushed off the insult, "Can we go someplace fun now?"
"Fine, come on, back in the car," Klaus said and started to open the driver's side door, until he noticed Caroline standing there, biting her lip, unsure of what to do, "Well, aren't you coming, sweetheart?"
Caroline shrugged, her whole town was destroyed, she would not be able to go back to Elena and Stefan knowing that she had some hand in killing Damon, and the Originals had already proven that they could be fun- in their own screwed up way. So why not? "Shotgun!" Caroline yelled and raced to the passenger's seat.