Where has that old friend gone?

Lost in a February song

Tell him it won't be long

'Till he opens his eyes … opens his eyes

~ Josh Groban, 'February Song'

Kurt Hummel was lonely.

Sure, he was at Dalton, surrounded by all of his friends. But it wasn't enough. He could be in a crowd of people and still feel so utterly alone. Why was that? Because Blaine Anderson was oblivious while still retaining the manners he'd had drilled into him by his parents. Because he managed to shatter Kurt's heart in such a way that Kurt couldn't hate him for it, only commend him for his kindness. Because Kurt valued Blaine's friendship above anything, and wasn't willing to risk losing that that had given him strength in his hour of need.

Kurt could understand Blaine's confusion. After all, he'd mistaken his crush on Finn as true love. Kurt knew that Blaine wasn't infallible, and that he was sure to stumble, at least once or twice. He just wished that when Blaine had fallen, he could have given Kurt some warning. Blaine was the first person Kurt had let behind the walls he had built around himself. He'd always thought they were there to keep others out. But upon meeting Blaine, Kurt realized that the walls he had in place were there for his 'friends' to prove that they cared enough to cross them. And Blaine cared, more than anyone had before. He didn't climb over the walls – he sailed over them. And Kurt loved him for it.

That's why Blaine's behavior was confusing to him. They'd always been close, ever since that day Kurt had stopped Blaine on the staircase. So for Blaine to not tell Kurt about Jeremiah was unusual and made him feel as though he were losing Blaine, as though Blaine were slipping away from him. Before Blaine, all Kurt had seen were shades of gray. But Blaine made him see colors, both real and imaginary. Blaine made him feel things that no one had made him feel before. It was this fact that convinced Kurt that what he had with Blaine was the real deal – he was in love. Now if only he could get Blaine to see what was right in front of him …

Blaine Anderson was lost.

He didn't know what he was doing. He lived from minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, day-to-day, making stuff up as he went along, which seemed to lead people to believe that he was a put-together young man. He wasn't. He was just a kid, a confused teenager muddling through school and life, wishing for somebody to love. He thought he had found this in Jeremiah, but he was wrong. Thank God for Kurt, who was and would hopefully always be there for him.

Yet thinking about Kurt caused him pain as much as pleasure. He'd hurt Kurt today, he could tell. Even if Kurt hadn't said anything, even if Kurt had shrugged off his own feelings in order to make Blaine feel comfortable … Kurt had been hurt by his quick dismissal of his feelings. And that hurt him in ways that those boys' fists from the Sadie Hawkins dance hadn't and couldn't. He valued Kurt's friendship – he coveted it, and he didn't want to see that disappear. He knew he should have told Kurt about Jeremiah. Perhaps if he had, Kurt could have helped him to see reason and he wouldn't have coerced the Warblers into going along with his ridiculous plan that had ultimately failed.

Blaine never wanted to let Kurt down. He knew that Kurt had been hurt in the past by those closest to him, and he didn't want to join those ranks. But it looked like he had, with the stunt he had pulled that day. He didn't have a clue as to how to make it up to Kurt, but he knew he had to try. Kurt deserved that much, at least. He deserved the world. He was so brave and beautiful, and he made Blaine melt. He'd been speaking the truth when he'd said that he didn't want to screw up what they had. He loved Kurt, but he wasn't sure in what capacity. As a friend, or as a boyfriend? He needed to decide whether a romantic relationship with Kurt would be worth the risk to their friendship. And when he did, which would hopefully be soon, Blaine would open his eyes and see what had been in front of him all along – Kurt, waiting for him to see what had always been meant to be.