Lion Party

The lighthouse was still, as it had been for a few decades now. Delmarva ports had never been a place of major commerce for larger steam ships, but in this century, there was no need for even the fishing boats to heed the warnings of the spire. Wind brushed through the grass and whispered to the cliffs, little puffs of summer that were warm even though the sun had long since passed over the edge of the ocean.

In the stillness, the sudden explosion of pink threw flowers and moths aside as Lion's portal burst into existence. The beast jumped into the meadow with Steven and Connie still laughing at the picture of Kevin's deflated bangs in the swimming pool. Steven had missed riding behind Connie and feeling the ends of her hair brushing over him. The shortness of her new cut meant fewer strands tickling his nose, at least.

Lion grunted his satisfied resignation and turned to face the ocean in what was probably supposed to be a dramatic pose. The two children turned to the inland, both searching for the lights where the party was still happening.

"Do you think we gave them a show anyway?" Connie asked.

"I don't think they're used to magical lions."

"I'm still not used to him! Although he's been useful, I'll say that much."

Lion chuffed as Connie scritched his mane. Even though he was a little upset at the stubborn nature of Lion's preferences, Steven had to admire the camaraderie he had shown Connie during his time away. The girl sighed, patting the big cat's neck.

"It really is late, though," she said. "I told mom I'd be taking Lion home. I don't think she was really on-board until she saw how attached he was."

"Where did he stay? Did he sleep with you? Did he lie on top of you and suffocate you in your sleep?"

"…no? He stayed in the yard, mostly. Mom and dad didn't want him in the house."

Well, that was a turn of events from what usually happened with Lion inside. But Lion ignored whatever annoyance Steven was channeling and started to back up, ready to make another leap into the trans-dimensional fray. Something clenched the boy, tightening deep in his stomach. Even though he was here with Connie, even though they had hugged and cried and let each other's truth come out, he still felt lonely. No, not lonely – cracked, chipped, like he hadn't fully assembled his heart back to where it needed to be. Lion crouched, and Steven gripped the cat's haunches with dread coiling inside him.

"W-wait!"

Lion's muscles relaxed, and Connie turned to look at him. Immediately he could see the worry and concern in her face, with all the time they had spent away from each other rushing back to her expression so naturally it was as if they had never been apart at all.

But that wasn't true. They had been away, they had ignored each other, and they had been in a kind of pain. It was impossible to ignore. Steven took a breath, looking down at the grass before he was able to meet Connie's eyes.

"Before you go, can we – can we catch up a little? I know it wasn't a real long time, and we weren't anywhere new, but… It would be nice. To talk. For real this time."

Connie's face slowly relaxed, back into that shy smile, the little grin Steven knew.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

The kids slid their legs to the side, and Lion knelt to let them off into the grass. Connie and Steven touched down, and by the time they were standing straight, their hands had found each other. Steven kept the knowledge that his house was right below them in the back of his mind; walking Connie home wasn't a possibility, but getting an excuse to take her back to her place was going to be more difficult. No, he was overthinking again. This was the moment that they needed.

"What vacation did you go on?" Connie asked, breaking the silence. "Did your dad take you somewhere really fancy, like when you guys all went up to Empire?"

"I don't think we're ever gonna get that crazy again. Dad found a cabin, and all the Gems came along. Pearl made friends with a snake."

"Friends, huh?"

"He seemed to get along with her! I don't think she felt the same."

Both of them laughed as they started down the hill with Lion in tow. Steven let his giggles fade into the wind before he cleared his throat.

"It was supposed to get me feeling better, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. I didn't actually forget about them – I felt dumb sending them, I felt useless, I felt embarrassed about so many different things. I almost made dad drive off a cliff trying to get a signal in case you texted me back."

Connie's legs naturally steadied themselves as they disembarked from the steeper section of the hill, starting to make their way towards the spot where the beach and the Big Donut met. She was silent for a moment.

"I know exactly what you mean. I'm used to pretending to be okay when my parents are around, so they didn't really see it, but everything felt wrong," she murmured. "I didn't want to be mad at you. I didn't want to feel like you were angry at me."

Steven turned with his eyebrows raised.

"Wait, you thought I was mad at you?"

Even in the darkness, there was that telltale redness coming up in Connie's cheeks. She glanced away and brought her hand up, releasing Steven to play with her hair.

"Well – yeah, I did. I thought you'd be mad at me for going away like I did and taking Lion with me. That's another reason I didn't want to text you. What if you got even madder? What if we just got more and more angry until we weren't friends anymore? As upset as I was at you, I didn't want to risk that. I wanted to be with you again."

As they had both been wanting to reach out, so it seemed that they also both had misinterpreted the emotional possibility of the other. As Steven had been blaming himself, Connie had been worried about receiving even more blame. Instantly, guilt began to well up in Steven's eyes, and he wiped the edges of his vision before any substantial tears could come to pass.

"You really were right, though. And I couldn't be mad at you for feeling that way," the boy said. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like – gosh, I'm just still so sorry I made you feel bad about any of this. I was hoping…"

"Hoping what?"

Steven bit his lip, trying not to break his resolve. Connie waited patiently, playing with her hands, distracting herself from her friend's pause.

"I was hoping you'd feel this way, that I was guilty. I've been so caught up in being accused and being able to take the blame for stuff. I wanted you to blame me, just so you didn't feel bad. I know it's not right…"

He brought his right hand over to grab his left arm, squeezing softly.

"…but it's easier on everyone when it's all my fault."

Even now the self-indulgence and self-pity was clouding over him. Maybe it had been too soon after all, and maybe Lion was right to take Connie away. The guilt inside Steven's body started to tug at the heartstrings that had lifted him up mere minutes ago.

Connie's hand pulled him back to reality, and he actually gasped in pain as she pulled him away from himself and grabbed his shoulders. He couldn't actually speak as he looked into Connie's eyes, surprised and not the least bit worried about whatever she was going to say. But her eyes were not warring or accusatory. This was the same determination he had seen before, Steven realized, from the training grounds.

"Steven, you may feel that it's easier, but it's not. Because I care about you just as much as you care about me, and I know you can feel that inside you – so try to put yourself in my shoes here! It's not easier on you, and that's…"

Steven could tell that Connie was measuring her words, trying not to grip him too tightly. She took a breath and softened her gaze.

"That's a battle I want to fight with you," she finally said. "I want to be able to make you feel innocent about things that aren't your fault. It hurts me when you hurt. But it feels amazing when we see you succeed. We're going to be able to do this together. We're Jam Buds!"

The line he had used earlier in the evening hit Steven like a cannon blast. Roiling doubt pushed against his brain and made him unable to think straight, but he had to push it back. His hands came up and met Connie's shoulders as well, and he held on, an anchor to reality against the tide of guilt.

"Jam Buds!"

For the second time, Steven and Connie embraced. She smelled like fresh laundry and Lion's mane. His scent was still of Kevin's weird cologne and the weird metallic soda he had tried. Both of them needed another moment in each other's arms.

Lion huffed, and the children released. They took one look at each other and couldn't help but laugh a little at their little teardrops, the mist that had squeezed out from their hug. It was a silly gesture that always seemed to happen whether they liked it or not. Most of the time, it was no bother. Crying was good for the soul.

Steven looked down at Connie's fingers; after the hug, they had slipped down, and he held on to their warmth. Her hands were like no other, and his thumbs circled the calluses that she had grown during sword-fighting and missions. Her diligence and strength was enough to make him want to continue to fight for himself, and for her. It was contagious, in a way. Whatever she saw in him, Steven could only hope that Connie felt his strengths the same way.

"Lion's right, though, it's getting kinda late," he said. "I'm sure he'll be happy to warp you home. Do you want to come over tomorrow, though? I've got a little idea on making something for Lars, if you wanna help."

Connie beamed and squeezed his hands.

"I'd love to, Steven."

Behind them, Lion laid down in the sand, tail twitching impatiently. Connie looked back at her feline friend, but turned back to Steven once more. Before she got on her ride, she leaned down and freed one hand to bring to her friend's temple. She brushed his hair out of the way and pressed her lips against Steven, a familial, promising kiss on the forehead. When she drew back, the boy was stock-still, blinking with his mouth open and his face burning. Connie mounted Lion and waved as he got into a crouching position.

"See you tomorrow!"

Before any of the jumbled words could get out of the other child's mouth, Lion had broken the moment with a roar, shooting a portal off the ground in front of them. He leapt through and the circle closed, leaving Steven on a moonlit beach.

The boy blinked and felt his hair fall back down. His legs propelled him back to the beach house without much input from his brain. The kiss was – what was it? A promise, or a pact? Steven felt tingly as he meandered by the cliffs, and he realized how much he was grinning.

"Tomorrow," he muttered to himself, bringing a hand to his face with a sigh. "Oh boy."

There was so much to do and so much to prepare. Maybe they wouldn't be going out to see Lars exactly tomorrow, but they could talk more, connect more, live just like how they had been beforehand. It was a playdate and a planning session. Lion could bring her back with her violin and they could work on more songs – or maybe she could even take some time and come down to band practice! There was a future to look forward to, and Steven felt himself start to relax. This was just like it had been beforehand, but something was different; as much as he didn't want to admit it, Steven already knew what it was.

This was the worst possible scenario for their relationship. Miscommunication had marred their ability to speak clearly and to talk about their feelings. Connie hadn't been sure what to say, and Steven hadn't been sure what to do. So many mistakes had almost made their reunion impossible except through means of the biggest jerk in Beach City. Steven shuddered as he opened and closed the door. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to rely on Kevin ever again.

As he looked around his home, Steven took a deep breath and smoothed out his shirt. It had been a good choice to wear it tonight after all. And there would be more occasions for them in the future. There are always more tomorrows.

As he climbed up onto his bed, preparing to change into his pajamas, Steven looked out the window, far out into the city and beyond, wondering what Connie was feeling and thinking and doing right at this moment. But no matter what was happening, he knew for sure that she wasn't blaming him, and she wasn't mad anymore. He wasn't absolved, but he wasn't guilty. Their love was stronger than that.

"Tomorrow," he repeated.

The boy yawned and began to unbutton his shirt. It was time to sleep, and to wait.