AN: Personal shit/Intro
Howdy do gang. It's your friendly neighborhood "guy who has never written fanfiction and doesn't expect many people to actually read his story but is acting like neither of those are true in the hopes that one day this story gets popular"
So yah, I'm not the best writer. In fact I kinda suck at it. That being said I love coming up with story ideas and fleshing then out in my head and sharing them with people, and writing them down seems like the best way to do that.
Also feel free to steal the shit outta any of my plotlines. I don't wanna write stories I just come up with stories I wanna read so I gotta write them myself. If you rip off my ideas you're actually helping me. Just don't straight up copy paste my actual fic because then people will think you're a bad writer.
AN: Amount of Non-Naruto material
This story is a solid 95% Naruto fanfiction and like 5% FMA fanfiction. I figured since the FMA stuff was so minor I could just put it up as a Naruto Fanfic instead of a crossover and just explain any FMA stuff.
If you haven't read/watched Fullmetal Alchemist, go do that, but if you're some kinda weird sadist who hates fun, then don't worry too much about needing to have read FMA to get this story. There's only one major thing in this fix from that series and it's almost totally gone after this chapter.
AN: General info on the rest of this fic
I kinda wanted to just do a setup chapter that sets up the premise and explains the how and why of Naruto's powers a bit without needing to just have a monologue about it somewhere. So if I don't tell you about I gotta show it to you and that means the dreaded "Every fix starting with the night Naruto is born and then having some tiny change totally butterfly effect into the really big changes they didn't have a better reason for" yah sorry about that.
This chapter is gonna be unusually short. Like under 5k words short. I normally hate that because I'm a kinda fast reader myself but I want each chapter to be kind of separate moments. I'm not gonna cover every day if Naruto's life, but I am gonna hone in on important or fun things and will try to focus the chapter around one of those events at a time. At least that's the plan, speaking of plans; in gonna try to make most chapters closer to 7k words after this. This is my first time writing a fic and the longest thing I've written up until this point was a 10 page paper for an English class, but hey maybe I'll actually do it.
Oh and before you go, this chapter is in Minato's/3rd person PoV. I kinda don't wanna do that too much, I'd like to keep it from Naruto and like 2 other character's views max. I kinda dislike it when every time a minor character does something it swaps to their view.
Wow now I'm writing long author's notes and talking about personal things in my fanfic. "Go write a blog instead jackass" Well, you know what they say "You either die a critical reader, or live long enough to become a hypocritical author."
"Fuck, fuck, shit, fuck!" Scrolls and office supplies went flying as the Fourth Hokage of the hidden leaf tore his office apart. The man's hands were covered in ink and his bit was stuck out at odd angles with some ink stains in it. He would have made an amusing sight, if not for the sounds of battle that were ringing outside the office.
"Where the hell is it!" He screamed, pulling his hair back in frustration and leaving more ink stains in the matted mane. Suddenly his eyes flashed with hope and he spun around to grab one of the scrolls he had just thrown to the ground.
Sealing the demon in his newborn son had been his only idea. He'd have to use his own life to do it, but it would have worked. Naruto was an Uzumaki, at least half Uzumaki, this should have given him a stronger life force and regenerative capabilities to stave off the corrosive power of the demon's chakra.
The sealing circles had been set up, the inner ring had interlocking chains of ink to represent the seal that would transfer to his son. The outermost circle was prismatic in shape, an octagon to be specific. This wasn't part of the sealing process, but the barrier it would create was needed to hold the rampaging beast in place. Thankfully both the barrier and the sealing method of choice were both based on the eight trigrams method, this would prevent any "static" between the two.
The middle circle looked much more violent, the seals written in a violent hand and seeming to form teeth in the inner edge, as if the seal itself was the mouth of the death god. The technique could be done with handsigns, but there were a lot of them and Minato didn't trust himself to speed through the set of over 100 gestures while stuck in a cage with a demon lord.
After the liter of ink was carefully painted out, there were only two things left to collect. A evil being who's cries woke the dead, and the Kyubi. Honestly Minato was fine with kids, really. But they were just really fucking loud and had this awful tendency to be at their loudest right as he was working on the most delicate part of a project.
In another time Minato May have been more focused. He would have decided to teleport the Kyubi first to spare his allies, and would have gone to collect his son after.
However the cost of creativity is often a weakness for shiny things and other distractions, so with kids on the brain Minato left to get his son.
His son who he was now holding in his arms again.
The same son who was tossed around like a sack of potatoes during the scuffle with the masked man.
The very same son who, upon closer inspection, seemed to be struggling to breathe.
It became apparent to Minato that his little bundle of sunshine may not have been positively affected by all the high velocity travel earlier. Oh he wasn't going to die, probably, but he looked really really weak. Like weaker than he had at birth, like probably too weak to take the strain of getting a 100 foot something tall fox sealed into him.
Fuck
Minato's mind began to race with possible adaptations to the seal and obscure jutsu to fix the situation. As he got more desperate, the possible solutions got more and more outlandish.
From an outside perspective, this all took place in around half a second. "Genius seal master" and "Fastest man alive" weren't titles given out to people who were slow thinkers.
Suddenly Minato snapped to attention as he came across a solution that would either perfectly fix the situation, or turn all of Fire country into hell on earth. Considering the ladder would be guaranteed to happen if he did nothing, he decided to adopt the mentality of "If it's crazy but it works, it's not crazy."
With a flash he was gone and tearing through his office. After his office looked like a maelstrom had torn through it, he finally found the proper storage scroll and sliced his palm open to unlock the blood seal. With a flash of chakra and a swirl of ink the scroll was opened, and in the small puddle of blood (he had cut a bit deeper than necessary in his rush) was a small gemstone about the size of his thumb.
This was the sorcerer's stone. Well no, actually it was the philosopher's stone. A mystical item that could power any runic, alchemical, or seal based ritual. It could provide wonderful powers to its user and make them nigh immortal. It was also totally useless to the average person because it had a demon stuck inside it.
Actually it might not be a demon. After all that usually referred to large multi tailed behemoths who rampaged the land. However the armored monstrosity Minato has fought seemed too twisted to simply call a monster.
Another mighty roar broke Minato out of his thoughts. Minato took a deep breath and went flying into action with the speed of a god.
He held the stone in his hand and left the room with a flash of yellow lights.
The next instant he was in the hospital and grabbed his son. His eyes shot to his dying wife for a fraction of a second, but he had no one to let the family say their goodbyes. Another flash and he was back at the ritual site.
His eyes pupils seemed to blur across the ink patterns on the ground, the "grammar" of the seal he had placed seemed to be written in a way that could potentially hold back the second demon too. He didn't have time to fix it so all he could do was hope. Little Naruto was set on the stone table in the center and another flash of light left him alone in the clearing.
Minato was suddenly beside his only living student. He kept off in the direction of the rampaging fox with a blur.
"Sensei?" Kakashi said with a startled voice that shifted into hopeful before the word left his mouth. The silver haired teen saw his teacher go flying at the nightmare before them and make contact with it. The moment he did both of them were gone.
Everyone stared in shock at the now empty battleground. Jutsu faded out of existence and weapons fell to the ground as the surviving ninja simple froze, the shift from "oh fuck I'm gonna die" to "the literal force of nature just vanished" was a bit too much even for a hardened killer, so they just froze.
Minato materialized in the clearing while holding onto the shin of the Kyubi. Apparently Biju weren't immune to shock either as the beast had frozen momentarily. Before it could even think of moving Minato lept from the fox.
In a blur of blond hair and white coat, he flew towards his son, slapped the jewel in the infant's mouth and activated all three seals at once.
The ensuing moments were exceedingly complex and bright and thus will be described in separate parts.
The outermost circle activated and brought up a barrier of energy. A some of interlocking polygons of various shapes and number of sides sprung up for exactly 10 seconds, containing the ensuing chaos.
The middle circle activated at the same time. The ink began to let off a black smoke that condensed into a pillar of darkness before unveiling the god of death. It's arm shot out and stretched like rubber, spearing all three living beings in the area in order of age. Naruto being the farthest up the limb and the Kyuubi being closest to the Shinigami's hand.
The moment it did this Minato activated the binding seals to trap the Kyuubi at this point everything went to shit all at once.
The philosopher's stone dissolved into liquid and trickled down Naruto's throat. In the red elixir a pair of eyes lit up with glee and began to cackle as it was absorbed by the newborn's body.
The Kyuubi flipped its shit as it's very being started to be sucked in by the death god. It pulsed with energy as if to challenge the deity. Red energy flooded the inside of the barrier and the very ground began to shake.
The shinigami's eyes seemed to light up in amusement as it gave a sharp tug, pulling the Biju's body apart like a vacuum. The arm kept retracting and tore the soul out of Minato. The young man have a smirk and he looked at his son to speak his final words.
"Ya know, I'm really glad I'm about to be eaten by the Shinigami, because your mother woulda torn into me for using you in this hairbrained scheme of mine." Minato's eyes turned to the being who had just pulled out his soul. As his body fell limp a smirk rose across his face and a whisper left his lips "but she can't get me in there."
The shinigami started retracting it's arm, it would have licked its lips in anticipation if it wasn't biting a sword. Oh the sacrifices one had to made to keep up an image. It felt it's hand bump into something and stared down on the infant implied on its wrist. That wasn't really par for the course. Usually people summoned him to just take out an enemy and boom two free souls.
In a funnier story he would have pulled out a pair of reading glasses to go over the seals on the ground as if reading a legal document. However as it was, he still made a strange sight, with his hand stuck in a baby's stomach as he stared at the floor trying to make out the wording of the seals used in the contract to summon it.
Unfortunately the only ones who would be able to see him were an infant who was facing skyward, and two disembodied souls stuck in its hands. The moment soon passed and it went about the task of leaving the child with half the demon's soul. It pulled the two souls through the child, intent on leaving behind the Yang half of the soul behind.
Inside Naruto's body a spirit awoke. It was the being trapped inside the stone. Trapped wasn't entirely correct as it was the stone, it always had been.
The Shinigami pulled at the Yin half of the fox, it's arm retracting and stretching the soul till it's breaking point. Just as it was about to snap off, a claw like hand sprouted from the seal on Naruto's stomach and grabbed onto the Shinigami's wrist. With a loud snapping sound.
The pale arm of the death god recoil in shock at being physically touched by something on the mortal plane. It dropped its second prize and fled with the soul of the man who summoned it. As it left the center ring of seals stopped glowing and blew away like dust.
Three seconds later the barrier shattered and the outer ring of seals powered down. Demonic energy spilled out like a fog and began to permeate the surrounding area.
The center ring, the seal that was designed to bind the Kyuubi onto the seal placed on Naruto's stomach, was still lit up and working. The battle for dominance was raging on in the young host.
The arm sank back into Naruto and inside his body a man looked down at his forearm and flexed his hand as if to make sure it was still attached. This was the man in the stone. This was greed.
A philosophers stone is a creation of evil, thousands of souls are sacrificed and condensed in brutal fashion. Normally these stones are inert. They grant power but don't have their own will or consciousness.
Unfortunately orochimaru was not the first mad scientist to grace the elemental Nations. In an attempt to achieve a new level of power, a nation was sacrificed to create seven philosophers stones. Every one of these souls was dissected and split into parts, their primal desires being separated into groups that matched the biblical listing of the seven deadly sins. This was the stone of Greed.
A swirling dimension of red surround the three spirits. Below them a whirlpool of suction raged on, trying to drag down their consciousness. They clashed like the beginning of a bad joke "A fox a baby and a man in a rock all walk into a bar"
The fox and the Spirit made eye contact and immediately judged each other to be the largest threat. They clashed in the storm of souls and energy. The figure of greed distorting and warping as it fought against and entangled the mighty fox.
In a fair fight the Kyuubi likely would have emerged victorious. For all the powers a philosopher's stone grants, the raw might of the strongest Biju was nigh unstoppable. However the setting they were in was designed to hold the Biju down to the point where an infant could overpower half of its soul. Against the physical manifestation of the greed from an entire nation, it fell down and was trapped in the seal.
Giddy with victory the spirit slowly floated towards Naruto and stretched out its arm. The metallic coating shone and the muscles bulged in anticipation as it made contact with the small soft head of the child, ready to pop it like a balloon.
I'm a battle of souls quality matters much more than quantity. The greed of an adult is one tempered by other emotions. A person who is fueled and driven mad by their greed still knows how to function. While they may lose their moral compass they are still capable of thought or putting off their desires for a better chance of obtaining their prize later.
An infant is pure in many ways. It is innocent of evil and it's mind is simple. Frighteningly simple. At that moment Naruto wanted warmth and comfort. He had no concept of anything else but this desire. He couldn't put it into words, he had no other thoughts in his head, and the concept of waiting or being patient was e twirly alien to his mind that wasn't even an hour old yet.
Greed crumpled to a heap that was quickly pulled down into the vortex of power. Outside Naruto's body the center ring of seals went dim and all was quiet.
The clearing was silent and still, all life had long since fled from the primal feeling of fear generated by a demon lord and a death god. The only thing that broke the silence was the cries of a young boy who had just unwillingly traded two parents for two prisoners.
Minutes passed and a slightly wounded Hiruzen Sarutobi flew into the area. His head spun around before locking onto the form of his successor. His shoulders dropped and he made his way over to the soulless corpse, closing his eyelids and crossing his arms over his chest. With a weighted heart he scooped up the air raid siren in infant forum.
"It seems we've both lost a lot tonight little one" said Sarutobi, as he turned back towards the village.
"Fuck dude, like 1/3 of that was author's note. What a shitty dude." Yah yah, sorry about that. First impressions are important and all so I felt the need to explain that while story wise this chapter needs to come first, it's not the best representation of what a normal one might look like.
Also thoughts on the humor? The inspiration for this fic comes from 2 funny ideas I had for individual random scenes that I then figured I could connect if Naruto was the host of Greed from FMA and then this happened. Considering the whole driving force of this story was 2 joke scenes, I wanted to try and make this a kinda humor fic, but I'm not naturally a funny guy so I might have to call it quits.
Also what are the odds that the one weekend I'd feel motivated to write my first fanfic, my computer would be getting fixed? Writing on the phone is tough on my thumbs. Also the formatting on this is probably gonna be shit when I actually upload it. I'm straight up using the notes app and let me tell you the spell check on this thing is just the wurst. (Spoiler: its me from the future, it was awful. for some reason it made every linebreak in bold which made each space like 1.5 times bigger than needed.)
Last thing. I'm not sure what to do with the rating. I'm not planning on being too gory or explicitly sexual, but beyond that I'm not really gonna think twice about the rating of the content. Some part of me just wants to throw an M on it so I can do whatever the fuck I want, but M rated stories aren't shown by default so I'm kinda curious how many people would miss this fic because of that. It's gonna be a T right now so let me know if you have your ratings set to "K-T" or "All.