All right I have to admit it, Prom Queen blew me away ! From a writers perspective the "behind the scenes" was much harder because the writers did so much right this episode. God, fandic Klaine and canon Klaine have FINALLY aligned! The strength of the relationship they gave us was fantastic, and I am glad to see that Blaine is FINALLY being fleshed out. Darren rocked it this week, so much emotion and restraint in that hallway scene, and Chris – what the hell can I say? I finally really feel for David and Max is bringing so much depth to him now. OK enough fangirling and onto the "What you missed on Glee"
Big thanks to fara1903 on LJ for betaing and fixing my stupid mistakes.
"Give me your hand" Kurt said simply, laying his hand palm up on the table. I still couldn't believe that I was allowed to, encouraged to hold his hand. Even after 2 months it still felt unreal sometimes. I reached over and laid my hand in his feeling him gently take my hand between both of his.
"Blaine Warbler, will you go to Jr Prom with me?"
It was like my breath stuck in my throat and the only thing that I could choke out was"Prom?"
"It'll be the social event of the season." I could see his nerves getting the best of him, the way he was shifting in his seat, eyes a bit too wide, voice a bit high. Then his face totally shifted, to uncertainty and hurt in a quick flash "You don't want to go to prom with me" It literally hurt to feel him pull his hands away from mine.
"No, no no of course I want to go with you, it's just" I hesitated a moment before continuing "Prom"
"What about prom Blaine?" I could hear the snip in his voice, that bitchy note that meant that he was hurt and trying so hard to cover it up. That wall was starting to come up just a little, the subtle closing off of his eyes and I couldn't for one minute let him think that my reluctance was about him.
"At my old school there was a Sadie Hawkins dance, and I had just come out so I asked a friend of mine, the only other gay guy in the school, and while we were waiting for his Dad to pick us up, these three guys, um," God how to say this, we had never talked about any of this "beat the living crap out of us"
"I'm so sorry" I could see the tears just behind his eyes, the sorrow and I think a bit of guilt there as well. "I'm out and I'm proud and all that, but it's just a sore spot"
"This is perfect," he said with a grin "You couldn't face up to the bullies at your school so you can do it at mine. We can do it together." I loved the way that with Kurt it is always 'we', never I or you when it came to anything that affected both of us. "But I have to say Blaine if it makes you uncomfortable at all we'll just forget about prom. We'll just go to a movie instead."
What could I say to that? God he was willing to give up something that so obviously meant a lot to him, just to make sure I wasn't uncomfortable. Every day he made me fall a little harder for him, without even trying. "I am crazy about you"
"So I'll take that as a yes?" There is something about the way he just tipped his head and looked up into my eyes that made me melt and it is like he could ask for the world and I would find a way to get it for him.
"Yes." I couldn't help but chuckle, he was so damn cute when he was excited giving a little squeek and pounding his hands on the table. "You and I are going to the prom" God help me I was going to go to prom with my boyfriend in Ohio.
I was amazed at how easy and comfortable it had become to just hang over at Kurt's. The entire family had taken our dating really well. I had been a bit reluctant at first about what his Dad would think but after a few discussions about boundaries and respect, it seemed like Burt was actually very supportive of our relationship. I knew it meant a lot to Kurt to have his father's blessing and to be honest it did to me as well. And I had actually gotten pretty close to Finn as well.
"So do you think it's cool if I jam with you at prom?" I asked Finn as we sat on the couch one afternoon watching the game.
"Yeah, totally"
Burt walked into the room speaking as he hung his jacket up "Good news boys, my buddy Enzo from the Tux rental shop is giving you half off"
"Sweet" Finn replied.
"So what are you going to go with?" Burt asked
I had already thought it out, knowing that with Kurt fashion is a really big deal, and I wanted to look perfect "I'm going simple. Black, thin lapel collar, very discrete"
"You know what I wore at my prom?" Burt asked "I wore a baby blue tux, with a ruffled shirt and a big velour tie. I looked like Tony Orlando"
"Was that a designer?" I asked unsure.
"No"
"No need for half off my outfit." I turned to see Kurt all but prance into the room wearing a waistcoat and a blue and green tartan kilt and had to catch my breath. A kilt and knee high lace up Doc Martins. He looked incredible.
"Because half of it is already off?" Burt asked with a chuckle
"My ensemb is an homage to the recent royal wedding and the late Alexander McQueen." I would have hated to have seen my face at that point. I know I had my lips pressed together to avoid the smirk I felt on my face, he just looked so good "I had to make it myself. There is simply nothing off the rack that is suitable for the fashionable young man in Ohio."
"Dude that rocks, it's like gay Braveheart." Finn said with a smile and I literally stopped breathing for a moment as Kurt spun in a quick circle, the kilt flaring around his thighs showing the skin tight leggings he had on underneath.
"I don't like it." Burt said bluntly
"Of course you don't like it it's not finished yet, I think it needs a sash or some beads or something." God Kurt had stepped right in front of me and turned showing off the outfit, running his hands down the sleeves and stretching his arms out. I literally had to put my hand in front of my mouth because I was grinning so hard.
"I'm not gonna stop you from wearing it, but I gotta be honest, I think you are trying to stir the pot a little bit. I think you are trying to get some attention."
"Exactly, what's the point of dressing up? I mean thats why some guys wear the tails or the top hat and the girls wear the hoop skirts? I mean Blaine help me out here."
"I think your dad has a point." God the look he shot me would have stopped a lion at full charge "I think that what he is trying to say is that we just don't want to give anyone a reason to cause trouble" I tried to let him see the concern I had just with my eyes and hoped he knew that I didn't want him to be anyone but himself
"There's a lot of bad people out there Kurt and they are worse than this Karofsky kid and all they are looking for is a match to light under the fire of their hate." Burt said with obvious sincerity "Of course I want, I want you to be yourself, but I also want you to be practical."
"I have done everything right." Kurt said with conviction though his next words stung more than I wanted to admit "Now Blaine I understand that after everything you have been through you're worried. But Prom is about joy not fear. So I am wearing this suit, I worked hard on it and I think it is fantastic, and if you don't want to join me I completely understand" The last words rang out as Kurt walked out of the room and up the stairs.
Burt, Finn and I just sat for a moment looking at each other, the tension palpable. "If you guys will excuse me, I think I need to go fix this" I said quietly as I got up to follow Kurt.
"Whatever you do dude, don't tell him to calm down, it could get ugly" Finn said quietly
"Trust me I know" I replied as I walked to the stairs.
I stopped outside Kurt's door, which was open just a crack and quietly asked "Can I come in Kurt?" I had to strain to hear the mumbled "yes"
Walking in I could see Kurt standing in front of the mirror just looking at himself "I really hoped you'd like it Blaine" he said quietly, not even turning to look at me.
I walked behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "I love it Kurt, you look fantastic, I just don't want to see you hurt."
He turned in my arms, gently placing his hands on my cheeks and pressing his lips softly to mine. "I don't want to see either of us hurt Blaine, but I am done with being afraid. This is no different than the day you sang to me, when I wore that bondage jacket and the top hat. This is who I am and I want the world to see that. I don't want to spend my life being afraid to show the world how I feel about you. I'm tired of worrying what people think if I hold your hand. You mean the world to me, and I hope you know that, but this means a lot to me."
Sometimes it was hard to see this Kurt, the strong self assured Kurt and reconcile it with the sweet scared boy that I had met that day on the staircase at Dalton. This Kurt was undeterred by the world and saw the best in everyone. Frankly this Kurt made me feel inadequate, I had always been the strong one, the one with the answers, and he didn't need that anymore.
"Then you are wearing it, and I will be there grinning like an idiot next to you knowing that the most amazing, sexy guy in Ohio is mine. At least I hope he is."
"Do me a favor and tell him to give me back my boyfriend when he is done with you then." he said with a chuckle pulling me into a tight hug "Thank you"
"For what?"
"For making me feel wanted and cared for. I never thought I would ever get to feel that, much less from you. Sometimes I still have a hard time believing it." his voice broke a bit as he spoke and he laid a small kiss to my temple.
"Sweetheart" I said quietly before pulling him down for a deep kiss "Believe it. I'm yours until you get sick of me and even then you might have a hard time getting rid of me. You know how much I care about you don't you?"
"I think I am beginning to see it" he replied quietly against my lips before wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and kissing me again.
All in all I had to say that Prom night hadn't started out too bad. I had driven over to pick Kurt up and we had spent at least 20 minutes with Carole fussing over us and taking millions of pictures. Just the acceptance I felt from her and Burt blew me away. For them it was like nothing to be standing there taking picture after picture of Kurt and I with no qualms about the fact that their son was my boyfriend. I would never even get halfhearted acceptance of myself at home, much less us. I could tell that both of us were still a little awkward once we got there though, hanging along the outskirts, hands just barely touching, and we hadn't even danced yet.
When Puck, Artie and Sam started in on "Friday" it blew my mind. That was possibly the WORST song in creation and somehow New Directions turned it into the ultimate party anthem. They owned it and Kurt and I couldn't help getting a bit caught up, dancing side by side and shouting along with the rest of the room. I was glad that it seemed like we were finally loosening up a bit.
Then finally it was my turn on the stage. With Tina and Brittney backing me, up I just let it all go. God it was so much fun to really let loose in a performance. I wasn't worried about choreography, or how it looked I just went with what felt right. I was so caught up in the song that I didn't even realize that Finn and some other guy were fighting until the last of the music echoed away and I looked up to see Finn swing. Next thing I knew Coach Sylvester was dragging them both out of the gym.
"What was that all about?" I asked Kurt when I caught up with him by the punch bowl.
"That was Jesse, the reason I figured you guys would beat me up over spying. He was the lead singer from a rival choir and transferred to McKinley last year to spy. He started going out with Rachel and not only broke her heart, but his team actually threw raw eggs at her. He's back and I guess Finn wasn't real happy about him making out with Rachel on the dance floor."
"The drama you guys manage to get yourselves into around here" I replied with a smile
"Never a dull moment" Kurt laughed back.
Pretty soon it was time for the principal to announce the prom King and Queen. Kurt and I had voted for Puck and Lauren, on principle. So we waited quietly with everyone else until Dave Karofsky was named Prom King. You could see the satisfaction on Santana's face and the smirk she threw towards Quinn. And then the Principal was announcing the queen.
"And now your 2011 Mckinley High Prom queen, by an overwhelming number of write in votes is" he paused, looking down at the paper with a look somewhere between shock and horror on his face. It looked like he wanted to read anything but what was on the paper "Kurt Hummel"
It was like the world dropped out from under me and I turned to Kurt to see him standing totally still, face pale and eyes unfocused. I reached down to grab his hand but it was like it didn't even register, he just stood there, barely breathing and then a cat call sounded from somewhere in the crowd. A single person began slowly clapping and I saw faces turned looking directly at us with something that looked like satisfaction and the next thing I knew Kurt turned and ran. The only sound was the thump of his boots on the gym floor and me running after him yelling "Kurt stop, Kurt"
"I've never been so humiliated"
Kurt's cries tore my heart out as all I could do was chase after him down halls I didn't know yelling "Kurt stop please, just stop, come on"
When he finally stopped and turned towards me it was like the flood gates opened. Tears were running down his face. I would have taken a thousand beatings not to ever have to see him that broken. Even through all of that I could still hear the 'we' as he let it all out. I worried that he thought he had let me down somehow. "Don't you get how stupid we were. We thought that because no one was teasing us or beating us up that no one cared. Like some kind of progress had been made. But it's still the same"
"It was just a stupid joke" I ws not sure who I was trying to convince, him or myself.
"No it's not. All that hate and they were just afraid to say it out loud. So they did it by secret ballot. Like one big anynomous practical joke" He spat out as he started pacing.
"I'm not going back in there, no way" he said bringing his hand to his mouth and began chewing on his nails. I settled myself on the floor against a bank of lockers knowing that this had to be Kurt's decision how to handle this. There was nothing I could do or say to make that any better and the only thing I could do was look up at him, so much in pain over what this had done to him.
"You could at least sit down. Do you want to go?" I said as he walked away from me on another circuit of the hallway "We don't have to go back in there" To my surprise he turned and looked straight at me and for the first time since this all began I felt that he was really seeing me.
"Wasn't this prom supposed to be about redemption? About taking away that lump you had in your throat from running away? If we leave all it is gonna do is give me a lump too."
"So what do you want to do?" I tried to pour all the love and support and pride I had in him into those simple words. It was in his court, literally, his choice. All I knew was that for him this wasn't just about him anymore. It was about pride, and standing on his own two feet and I could see in his eyes when he made his decision.
"I'm going to go back in there and get coroneted." He had no idea how that statement made me feel. Here in front of me was my boyfriend, stronger than I had ever seen him, more beautiful than I ever thought possible and I hoped that at least some of what I was feeling was coming through as I looked into his eyes. "I am going to show them that it doesn't matter if they are yelling at me or whispering behind my back they can't touch me, they can't touch us, they can't touch what we have" He had dropped to his knees and we reached out for each other, hands tightly clasped between us as his words went straight to my heart.
"Come here" I said quietly, pulling him over towards me and taking his face between my palms "God, just when I think I can't fall any harder for you you go and do this. You're right, they can't touch us. They can't touch this. Kurt you are the singularly best thing that has ever happened to me. I wake up every morning thinking about you and fall asleep every night with you on my mind. You have my heart and while I realize that the timing may not be right for this, I Love you Kurt Hummel, so bad it hurts. Between the two of us we can handle anything this world can dish out, so long as we do it together"
"God I love you too Blaine." he whispered in my ear after pulling me into a deep hug. "More than you can ever know. I don't think there is any way I could do this if you weren't here" As he pulled cautiously back I handed him a pack of Klennex and he wiped his nose and eyes. Standing up I held my hand out to him and looked deep into his eyes "You ready for this?" I couldn't help but smile as he reached up and took my hand.
He had told me that he had to do this himself so I hung back a moment as he walked into the gym before opening the door and walking in after him. I leaned back on the wall at the back of the room watching as he slowly made his way to where the principal was still standing on the stage. He seemed quiet and tentative, sneaking glances out into the crowd.
"Ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 Prom queen, Kurt Hummel" the principal announced. He placed the crown carefully over Kurt's head and handed him the scepter. The room was totally silent and a look passed between the two of them before Kurt approached the microphone. He just stood there for a second, before turning slightly to the side and quipping "Eat your heart out Kate Middleton"
The gym clapping began slowly and I could see the principle behind Kurt give a slight chuckle and a shake of his head before raising his hands above his head in a silent cheer. As he walked past Kurt to the microphone again I could see him pat his shoulder, almost with tenderness. "And now behold the tradition of our 2011 Prom King and Queen sharing their first dance"
Kurt and Karofsky walked slowly off the stage, the crowd reluctantly parting for them. I could see Kurt speak and Karofsky's reply before the larger boy's back was turned to me and then in the next moment he was gone and Kurt just stood there, back to the crowd as Mercedes and Santana began the opening to "Dancing Queen" I had slowly been edging closer to the front of the circle and I couldn't let Kurt do this by himself anymore. This night was supposed to be about US and I'd be damned if I was gonna let him stand there. I wanted to hold him in my arms, in front of all these small minded people, and dance with my boyfriend.
Without even thinking about it the words left my mouth. "Excuse me" the same words that he had greeted me with all those months ago. I held out my hand "May I have this dance?" The light came back into his eyes that quickly and there was a real, true smile on his lips as he replied "Yes, yes you may"
I pulled him into my arms, my hand on the small of his back, his on my shoulder, holding the scepter together in our outstretched hands. It was awkward, Kurt inches taller than me in his boots, both of us trying to lead, but it felt right. I couldn't help stealing glimpses at him, watching the delight stretch across his face as he caught Rachels eye and smiled. As Santana started into the first verse of the song I spun Kurt awkwardly, trying not to knock the crown off and we just danced. No pretense, no concerns over what anyone was thinking, it was just us on that dance floor. And it was everything I had hoped it would be.
I still have the picture from that night sitting on my desk at work, the two of us grinning like fools, my arm around his waist and his across my shoulder scepter like a sword and the crown on his head. Not many guys can tell you that their date was the prom queen, but I can and proudly. That was the night when it really became us. Us against the world and damn the haters. That night brought out strength we didn't know we had. Even though we had our problems, what couple doesn't, we came back from each of them stronger and together. The other picture I have on my desk is one of us dancing to "Dancing Queen," again sung by Mercedes and Santana, at our wedding reception, surrounded by friends and family, beginning the rest of our lives together.