It's the story I've been threatening to write for a while. I'll openly request an r&r, I'm keen to know if anyone is keen to see where this goes...

"I hate you!"

Pouncival screamed as he threw his pillow against the wall. He stomped one foot on the blanket that his mother made for him, tugging as hard as he could to rip it in two. Various nick-nacks and things he had collected for his room were next - he picked up the small cans and crushed them in his fists; kicked over a decorated pot and smashed a glass bottle with his heel.

"I said I hate you!"

He picked up his toy bear. It looked old, worn, used. The toy had been his source of comfort for years; something to hold onto and squeeze when everything else got too difficult. But instead of wrapping his arms around it like in days past, his placed one paw firmly on its head.

"I wish you would just die!"

He ripped the bear's head clean off and instantly regretted it. Tears that had started to build up in his eyes began to fall cleanly down his cheeks as he fell to his knees, pressing the head against the toy's body in a vain attempt to make the two pieces rejoin. He pressed them together harder, little pieces of fluff dropping to the floor at his knees as the toy stubbornly refused to join back together.

The door opened.

"Pounce..." Tantomile said quietly. The queen closed the door behind her as she entered the room. Her eyes glanced around to see the damage – a few more broken trinkets, perhaps more worryingly some broken glass. She approached closer and glanced down, noting a few flecks of blood on the floor. The queen shuddered, uttering "you've cut yourself again." Tantomile came closer, kneeling down beside Pouncival and looking him over. The tom was still pressing the bear's head against its body, now squeezing his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to stop the tears.

Tantomile glanced at the tom's paws, seeing no damage before spotting his ankle. The tom had clearly crushed the glass with his heel, there was a deep red patch coating that part of his fur. The moment she recognised it, that became her top priority. "Wait there," Tantomile said as much for her own benefit as his as she got to her feet, moving across the room and taking a roll of bandages conspicuously placed in the corner of the room. She returned to him.

"It won't go back on," Pouncival said. He couldn't feel Tantomile's paw pressing against his heel – he hadn't even been able to feel the pain of the broken glass piercing his skin. Right now his emotions were all he could feel, his mental pain far outshone anything physical. Tantomile pulled a small piece of glass from his heel and dropped it to the floor, padding her fingers against the wound to make sure there were no more shards before wrapping a bandage around the cut.

"It's okay, Pounce. I'll fix him." Tantomile wondered if Pouncival was even aware that they had been through this routine before. This wasn't even one of the worse ones, comparatively this was somewhere in the middle. She shook her head before tying up the bandage. Pouncival would have to be taken to the infirmary again, but for now this would just have to do. Five years they had been together. If she had known this was what she was getting herself in for... no, those were bad thoughts.

Tantomile looked at her paws. The blood hardly showed up on her black fur, yet it was very evident on her usually cream palms. She would have to fix everything as best she could tonight – at the very least, this relationship had taught her how to sew. Tantomile could take some solace in that, though it was pitiful and she instantly hated herself for it. She found herself wondering what had happened to her life before scolding herself once again – she knew this wouldn't be an easy road, that there would be hardships. Just not this hard. Not this hard.

It was evening. Pouncival lay asleep in the infirmary, his head planted firmly on the cushion his mother used to sleep on. Once upon a time he claimed it smelled of her, now it smelled of nothing but him. He was alone but for Coricopat, who sat almost as a guardian outside the room. This had become a weekly occurence for him, one that he was begrudgingly used to. He would do anything for his sister, but this was beginning to strain. Their life had been so easy before this, so simple. So fun. Now it was none of the above, "their" life didn't exist. She had her life, he had his.

Across the Junkyard, Tantomile sat with the toy bear in her lap. She wielded a needle and thread and set about rejoining the torn head of the toy back to its body. Part of her questioned why she was continuing to do this, exactly what it was that kept her from just tossing the bear on the floor and leaving. Getting up and leaving the den, leaving the Junkyard... leaving Pouncival. Perhaps she feared that if she left him, there would be nobody left to look after him.

But that didn't add up.

Of course there would be somebody left. This was a tribe of protectors, of heroes. She liked to believe that Munkustrap would always be present to come to the aid of those in trouble, that Alonzo would act as watchman and that the Rum Tum Tugger, for all of his faults, would ultimately protect those worth protecting. Yet part of her questioned whether any of this could be true – if it were true, surely one of the above would have come to her aid by now?

Or indeed, surely one of them would have come to Tumblebrutus' aid when he was in trouble? Surely one of them would have prevented Macavity from... no. Bad thoughts. If she were to get through this, she would need to focus on the good thoughts. What happened to Tumblebrutus was in the past. Even Pouncival must have known that deep down, she assumed. And it wasn't as if a body had ever been recovered anyway... Tumblebrutus could still technically be alive somewhere out there. The same couldn't be said of Pouncival's parents.

Tantomile scolded herself again as she sewed the bear's head back onto its body. No good would come of her sadness. The only chance that Pouncival had of getting better was if she remained positive, if she remained a constant. He'd had too many people vanishing on him. The real reason she couldn't leave – she knew that Pouncival wouldn't be able to deal with it. There was no way he could cope. Leaving the Junkyard would essentially be gifting him a death sentence.

Yet today there was something different going on. Today she had actually considered it. When she heard the all-too familiar yelling coming from Pouncival earlier, a large part of her wanted to ignore it. Let it continue. Let it keep going and going until the screaming stopped, until the crying stopped, until everything stopped. She knew he would turn on himself – he had done it before – and the self-destruction of his childhood toys would turn into a suicide attempt. Part of her wanted him to go through with it, to end this once and for all. Part of her wondered if it would be kinder to let him just do it. To put an end to the turmoil going on in his own head.

She sighed loudly. These thoughts were getting more prominent.

A male voice rang out throughout the room: "You look like you could use some help."

Tantomile looked up suddenly. She hadn't expected anyone; her small list of friends had long since grown tired of helping her mend things broken in Pouncival's destructive episodes. God only knows how strained her relationship had become with Coricopat. Tantomile briefly considered how long it had been since a conversation with her brother hadn't ended in an argument, before conceding that she should be grateful that he continued to help her at all by watching over Pouncival in the infirmary.

And besides all that, the tom in front of her was most definitely the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees.

"If you're so magical, make Pouncival stop doing this," she snapped.

"And here I just offered you some help." Mistoffelees shook his head. "And I tried. It didn't work. I'm sorry." He was. When all of this started happening, Tantomile had of course asked everyone she knew with magical ability for help. But try as they might, whatever demons were harrowing Pouncival's head, they couldn't be assuaged.

Mistoffelees began to move across the room to Tantomile, but the queen put up her paw to signal him to stop. "Don't," she said quietly. "I'm grateful that you're here, I really am. But you don't want to be dragged down into this-"

"Stop it." The tom cut her off and he approached, dropping down and sitting just in front of her. "Stop chastising yourself."

"Leave me alone." She said sharply, backing away from him and pressing herself against the wall. With one final slip of the needle she had completed reattaching the head of the toy bear, and with a few more movements she tied a knot to make the changes permanent. Tantomile sighed again as she placed the mended toy beside her. "This is my cross to bear, I can't-"

"Shut up." Mistoffelees scooted closer to her. "I can't just watch this, he's killing you-"

"You shut up." Tantomile got to her feet. "This is how you killed our friendship before, saying idiotic things like that-"

"Things like what?" Mistoffelees got to his feet as well. "Like pointing out to you that this isn't normal?" She didn't interrupt him this time. He shook his head and glanced at her stomach, then back up to her face. "You're so thin... when was the last time you ate?"

That hit a nerve. Tears began to well up in Tantomile's eyes as she swiftly moved across the room, taking the needle and thread with her as she went over to the torn blanket. The queen didn't say anything, putting all of her efforts into not crying as she looked at the pieces of blanket on the floor.

"I asked you a question." Mistoffelees knew what the answer was going to be. It was true – he had tried to help her for a long time before things got too rough, before he tried to point out to her how looking after Pouncival was making her physically sick. But she hadn't listened and instead took her anger out on him, and after a few weeks of arguments he simply stopped coming to help anymore. That was a year ago.

Tantomile sat down and took the pieces of blanket in her paws. She knew that Mistoffelees wouldn't stop probing until she gave him an answer, so it was just easier to be honest. "Yesterday," she mumbled. It took being asked the question to make her realise the answer – this had become so common that she didn't even realise, that she didn't feel hungry anymore. "Please don't open up an old wound, it took me long enough to get over losing you." She bit her lip and stared down at the blanket she was beginning to sew back together, still trying desperately not to cry.

"I'm here though, aren't I?" Mistoffelees said with a half-smile. He approached again, sitting just opposite her as before. "You haven't lost me. Don't say such stupid things." The tom tilted his head slightly. "I came by tonight hoping that you would let me help you, Tants." He sighed. "I came by hoping that you might be my friend again."

Tantomile kept her eyes fixed firmly on the blanket she was trying to sew. Her paws were shaking. She had literally dreamed about this happening, that one of her old friends would come back to help her in her time of need. She just couldn't believe that it was really happening. "Really?" She said almost angrily, shaking her head but staring bluntly at the blanket. "That was why you came here? No ulterior motive? Nothing else going through your mind? You just suddenly thought you needed another friend?" Her voice was quaking, clearly her angry tone was borne from emotions.

Mistoffelees shook his head and smiled. "Well actually, I did come here with something else in mind." Tantomile looked up, breathing heavily as she glared at the tom opposite her – the nerve of him to claim he wanted one thing, when clearly he just had something else up his sleeve. She was ready to start yelling when Mistoffelees lifted his paws in front of her. He showed them to be empty, before closing and opening them again – when they opened, a needle and thread appeared in them.

"I also came here to help you sew." He said sweetly, giving her a full smile in the hopes it might cheer her up...

...it did. But it wouldn't be immediately obvious, as those tears that Tantomile had spent so long trying to hold back suddenly burst out. Seeing the tom do something so selfless for her made Tantomile completely lose her demeanor. She dropped the needle and thread as her paws covered her face to try and hide the tears, but nothing could obscure the audible sobs. Tantomile tried to thank the tom but found she couldn't, instead she was completely muted by her tears, and quickly felt an arm around her.

Mistoffelees had dropped his own needle and thread the moment he saw her cry. The tom had moved beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, squeezing tightly. "It's okay, Tants... I'm here for you..." With those words Tantomile pressed her head against his shoulder as she continued to cover her face, the tears showing no sign of stopping. She couldn't speak, everything was bubbling to the surface and her boiling emotions just weren't allowing anything other than crying.

Mistoffelees squeezed Tantomile as he rested his head against hers, drawing a deep breath as he did the speaking for her. "It's funny... I feel like six or seven years ago we were in completely different positions... I remember being the one crying and you comforting me, not the other way around..." He trailed off with a smile as Tantomile audibly chuckled through her tears, one of her paws leaving her face around wrapping around Mistoffelees' chest. It was true – seven years ago, Tantomile was still teaching Mistoffelees magic. Now he was no longer a kitten, no longer a teenager. He was a full-blown adult.

"But you have to listen to me right now Tants, because what I'm going to say to you is really important." Mistoffelees held her tightly. "You can't continue on like this-" Tantomile tried to say something, but her voice cracked and she pressed her head against him. Taking that as his cue, Mistoffelees carried on. "Even if you feel you can't leave Pouncival, if you feel that you have to keep caring for him... you can't carry on as if you're in a relationship with him."

Tantomile's ears perked and she pushed away from Mistoffelees, shaking her head violently. The tears continued to fall, her emotions were shattered. But still she found herself unable to speak. "Please, Tants..." Mistoffelees started, placing his paw on her shoulder as she moved away, positioning himself to be opposite her again so he could stare into her eyes. "You're not eating... and I'm not sure that Pouncival even knows you're going out with him."

Tantomile was breaking down in front of Mistoffelees. What he was saying to her was brutal, it was far more than an uncomfortable truth, it was a horrible and harsh truth, one that she didn't know how to deal with. For too long her coping mechanism had been denial, but she couldn't deny how this was overwhelming her – the fact that her tears were still falling was evidence of this. And today she had come so close to letting Pouncival... Tantomile burst out in a sob.

Mistoffelees moved forwards and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I know things seem bad now, but... things can change. You have to make the decision to change things, but if you do, things will be better." He was hugging her very warmly, tenderly. He didn't know why she wasn't yelling at him, he had expected her to fight back a lot more when he pushed this topic. The way that she was crying now was so violent, so loud, so unlike her. Or at the very least, so unlike how she used to be.

Mistoffelees, for his credit, was doing an excellent job of consoling her with the hug. The fact that his message seemed to be getting through represented a very important change in their relationship, that they might be able to truly rekindle their friendship if she understood things needed to change. And for a while, he didn't say anything.

For a while, neither of them said anything.

For a while, things were simple. Tantomile was able to cry out some of her pain, Mistoffelees was able to hold her close and console her.

After ten minutes or so, Mistoffelees broke the hug and pulled away slightly. He pressed his forehead against hers, lifting her head and staring into her eyes. "You have to stop being his girlfriend, Tants... you have to stop being his mate." She was openly sobbing, the words seemed to be sinking in. "Let me help you, let me look after you..."

After a pause and a few deep breaths, he spoke again: "Let me love you."

Tantomile collapsed into Mistoffelees' arms, falling against him and burying her head into his fur. The tom fell onto his back as she fell onto him, their bodies intertwined with her face pressed firmly against his chest. Mistoffelees almost laughed as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, trying hard to comfort her. He felt certain that this was a step in the right direction, no matter what. He had thought over what he would say for hours before, it had given him sleepless nights just trying to get the words right.

And it appeared that he had gotten his words exactly right. He felt so good to be holding her, so fantastic that she was letting out her pain to him. The idea that she was actually accepting that things were wrong, that there was any chance that she could get better... it was incredible. Invigorating. It was every dream Mistoffelees had had for weeks.

Tantomile gasped as she turned her head to the side, she felt completely weak and exhausted, these tears felt extraordinarily cathartic. What Mistoffelees had just said... she hadn't heard the word 'love' said like that in almost two years. Ever since Pouncival's mind started turning, everything had been different. He had lost the ability to to see her as anything other than a parent; the moment Mistoffelees mentioned love it really hit home. It was just different, different in such a painful way. She was starting to accept that her relationship was wrong.

And suddenly she felt very, very hungry.