Creative Writing Draft Sherri Smith
"I'm here forever… your mine… I promise!"
To know somebody cares about you is fantastic. To know that if you die, you'll be missed, is soothing. To know that whatever you share will be kept, is reassuring. To know that somebody loves you is…
When there is somebody who is close to your heart there is nothing in the world that can break that feeling. No matter what you say, do, or think - nothing can stop love! I have also discovered that even though it is amazing to love someone, it is out of this world to discover they love you back!
…To be honest, in the past, I have never known somebody who cares about me, never known anyone that would miss me when I die, never shared a secret with someone I trust and never experienced love.
So, as I was walking towards the cliff edge I felt as though a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I knew that as I fell into that deep ocean, my life wouldn't flash before my eyes, because I hadn't had one… I wouldn't miss it. I stepped closer to the edge of the cliff and tried to sum up the courage to jump. One… Two… Three… Jump, I hesitated and had to start all over again. If I got my breathing right I would have no fear, I wasn't afraid to jump so I didn't know what was stopping me.
I had nobody, nothing, zilch!
That's what my dad always used to say – Zilch - he would come home drunk and scream at me. He would say horrid things such as 'We have nothing, we have zilch, all because of you and your stupid cow of a mother!'
I had nobody to turn to (nobody cared) so I didn't understand what was gluing me firmly to the ground, preventing me from jumping. I'll start again I thought… One… Two… Three… Jump… I didn't move.
Again and again I went through the same routine, breath, count and jump. It was hopeless. I was hopeless. As I was standing there it was getting darker and darker… maybe, I thought, if I wait until nightfall I wont be able to see where I'm jumping, I may be able to do it then. So slowly I turned, I turned away from my destiny, away from the only goal I have ever had in my life. I walked away.
I wasn't to notice the young man behind the wall as I turned; I was too caught up in the moment. I wasn't to notice the long, hard, stare he gave me as I walked past, I wasn't to know he had watched my every move, watched as I was preparing to jump, watched me my whole life.
The boy was about nineteen, just two years my senior, he was a student at Oxford University and certainly looked like one. He was incredible. His hair was scruffy and blond; it was out of this world. His cheek bones high and bold, giving him a look of wisdom that a boy his age shouldn't possess. His eyes were emerald green and sparkled with youth and love.
They still do. He hasn't changed a bit. Ten years on and he looks the same!
All I know is that night changed my life forever, that my views on life were changed forever, that I was changed forever. All of this because that nineteen year old boy had an agenda; he already knew me and knew what I was going to do, that night.
As I walked away from the cliff, that night, he followed me close, and grabbed my arm. He didn't tell me who he was or where we were going. I didn't care, I wanted to disappear… and from what I gathered, he might have wanted to help me!
He took me to his car and told me to get in. So I did. I wasn't scared, I have never been scared. He got in the other side and began to drive. We sat in silence. Suddenly he stopped; I didn't know where we were and didn't recognise anything, then he handed me a cup and told me to drink what was inside. So I did. I did everything he said that night. I trusted him.
The cup was full of luke warm coffee. Nice. I didn't moan - I was grateful. When I had finished he told me who he was and what he was doing with me, he reassured me he wouldn't hurt me. He told me he had been watching me since I was little, he told me he new everything about me and that I should know everything about him. So he told me. He told me where he grew up, what his parents were called and that he used to have a little sister who slipped whilst on holiday and hit her head. He told me his parents had brought him a puppy to try and fill the empty gap left by his sister. He told me I had filled that gap instead. He told me where he went to University, where he worked, what his friends are called, what music he liked. He told me everything. He even told me that he loved me.
I was speechless. My mouth was opening and closing like a fish. Then when I was least expecting it he kissed me…. It was the best I have ever felt in my whole life. In fact it was the first time I had felt anything in my whole life. And … It was real. He broke away from me and told me I was his and that he wasn't going to let me go because I was the girl he loved, had ever loved and will always love. I smiled up at him because I knew I loved him too. I looked into those beautiful eyes and knew I didn't have to say anything about myself, because he already knew it. He knew me.
I now know that my love for him is so strong I sometimes feel as though my heart is about to burst. I can feel his love for me and know that he cares.
I know that the one thing stopping me from jumping off that cliff was hope. The hope that one day someone would notice me and have feelings for me, hope for somebody who just gets me and understands me. That's him. My love!