Chapter 1: I'd Like to Introduce Myself
Well you couldn't call me 'perfect' necessarily or even 'well behaved' but I wasn't bad. I considered myself to be a rather civilized citizen. Of a sorts. I just didn't agree with all of societies rules. You see the thing is I've been around the block a couple of times; delved into my fair share of trouble. I've just never been the kind to take orders from a higher authority. Or a lower one for that matter. Besides, rules are meant to be broken, are they not? Some more than others. Some rules are more punishable than others too; and when they start adding up so does the punishment.
Your reputation builds as well. For those high-class, rule abiding, law adhering, normal people, they might consider your reputation to be degrading. (But that just depends on the way you look at it) For me, however, being the oddball that I am, having a high social status includes (1) how many laws you've broken (2) how many times you've got caught and (3) how many times you try again. People say I'm consecutive in my work and what can I say? I never give up; it's not in my nature. My dad was an astronaut and my mom was a surgeon. It took them forever to make their dreams come true and I intend to be the same. I want to be a police officer, ironically enough. After all I've provided them with work for almost 5 years; and who has a cooler job than a cop? Nobody that's who. (Except for maybe dog groomers but that's only maybe) And then who knows what I could get away with? "Where you just selling illegal substances to those hooligans?" "No mam, I was doing no such thing." "Well I guess I can let you go this time, but I'm warnin' ya." "Yes mam of course." And then I would continue my illegal drug trade because of course, I never would've expected myself.
Besides, here in the South, cops are treated with the utmost respect. No one ever disagrees with a police officer or as I prefer to call them and what you will here me address them as, the 'po-po'. The 'po-po' are like the Dukes of the Land. Working days and nights, eating donuts, zapping bad-guys with their tazors. The fun never ends! You have to be especially intelligent to work for the government too. No ordinary high school drop out would do. The job of a police requires a keen memory in order to recognize those secret codes; and you have to know where everything is. "10-103m (disturbance by mental person) located at K-Mart off exit B of 185." You have to know the streets so well that you could work them better than a prostitute. I've already got a head start on learning the po-po's lingo. Sitting in the back of a police car, you'll learn a thing or two. Not just from the police scanner but cops have the most interesting stories to tell. I can remember my very first encounter with the police. I was 11 and fresh out of elementary school; on to bigger and better things, and middle school. So of course I had to make myself accustom to this new environment. Unfortunately with my lack of experience at the time, I hadn't registered the fact that of course the school would be equipped with alarms. I was to be taken 'downtown' and on the way there I picked up on how to disarm the alarms. Something about a rouge banana and a couple of kittens.
And so from there on I began my life of crime and rebellion. The typical dream of a teenager; and I was living the dream. Having no regard for the law, living on the edge, the 'bad person' everyone wishes they had the guts to be. I was unstoppable. No cage could contain me (including a jail cell). No man could tame the wild, savage I had become. I live by this philosophy. It's what gets me through the day. Well it did for a while anyways. Eventually every great power must come to an end; and my reign was ended by three words. Camp Green Lake. You've probably heard of it before. Well maybe not considering it's in the middle of nowhere! I took 6 months in Juvie like it was a piece of homemade apple pie; but Camp Green Lake was more like a rock. (And that can't be good for the digestive system) But I swallowed it like a man, mostly because I had no other choice. You had to be a man to make it through Camp Green Lake.
Literally. I would elaborate but that'd ruin the surprise; and I for one love surprises. Probably because I'm just a big walking, talking surprise myself. Heck, I've surprised myself with some of the foolish things I've done. Let's just say that if you ever need a quick dollar, no one can ever turn away a child that can only walk on their hands. "I was born upside down." Perfectly acceptable, as long as your feet are clean. Don't have the upper body strength? There a tons of eager saps just waiting to give away their money (If ya know what I mean) Luckily enough I do have the strength and wouldn't resort to those means even if I didn't. I've always been lean. Certain times more than others but I've have never been fat. It just seems like there'd be such a lack of mobility that comes with all that weight. Waddle hear, waddle there. I'd much sooner chop my legs off. I enjoy running. That's a lie. I absolutely and unconditionally love running. It's the bees knees, the butter on my toast. It makes the world go round! If I wasn't so injury prone I'd run 24/7; but I am and I don't. It's unfortunate. I could be the best runner in the world; but (so far) that dream hasn't come true. Like I said earlier though, I don't give up. Ever! One day I'll shine like the sun over every other runner.
Too bad I wasn't sentenced to a Running Camp. Some punishment that would be. At Camp Green Lake you don't get to run. You're too tired from all the work they put you too. I would take jail any day over this dark hole they've thrown us in. The food in jail sucks; at least they have food. I'm not sure how you would describe Camp Green Lake's 'unidentified substance' that you might refer to as 'crap'. They look the same, smell the same, and both come from a toilet. Camp Green Lake's the only thing on Earth that could set me straight; but I'm not giving up without a fight. It's just not in my nature.
AN: And so the story unfolds.