Twilight Dreamer, a kingdom hearts fanfic

Twilight Dreamer

One-shot. All he wanted was an end to the hurt and the pain. When a voice from the twilight offered him comfort, it was hard to turn it down. Featuring "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan.

A/N: This idea was burning a hole in my brain, so I had to let it out. Basically, this is a one-shot that asks what if Riku listened to the mysterious voice at the beginning of Reverse/Rebirth (yes, I know it's DiZ, shut up), and went to sleep in the area between darkness and light. Most of this is taken from the manga (I love manga...); the rest is my own writing. For atmosphere (and because I was listening to this song at the time), I set it to the song "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan—if you've never heard it, listen to it now. I mean it.

Disclaimer: Ohhh, if I only owned Riku... (stares wistfully off into the distance) What? Oh, sorry. The amazing song "Angel" is owned by none other than the amazing Sarah McLachlan, and not me.

A door we can't go in or out of...

A door that the darkness uses...

In order to close that door,

Two keys and two hearts were needed.

"What do I do, Your Majesty?" Riku called, hacking through a Shadow as he stared up at the door to Kingdom Hearts. He heard the King call back,

"Close the door! Everyone should already be on the other side!" Riku turned back to the door, slashing through a few more Heartless. "Damn Heartless!" he snapped out of frustration. "Get out of the way!"

Though the huge double doors were open enough to catch glimpses of the outside, Riku could see no one. Whoever was out there was out of his line of vision. Then, he heard a familiar voice.

"Let's get this door closed!" Sora yelled from the other side, presumably to Donald and Goofy. Riku was momentarily stunned with surprise. 'Sora!' he thought. It struck him that once he got out of there, he could go back to Sora and Kairi. He could make amends. It gave him new determination.

The heavy doors creaked inward a few inches, and then stopped. "It's too heavy!" came from the other side. "I can't..." Sora's voice went thin with strain. Riku saw what he had to do.

His hand darted out to grip the door by its edge. "Don't give up!" he cried out. He was now in a position to see Sora. Sora looked dumbfounded at seeing his friend, whom he'd presumed dead or at the very least consumed by the darkness. "Come on Sora!" Riku urged him. "Together we can do it! Push!"

Sora's resolve hardened, and he nodded to Riku. Shoving from one side and desperately tugging from the other, the two of them managed to just barely move their door a few more inches. On the other side, Donald and Goofy did the same.

Sora seemed about to give up hope. Riku could hear more Heartless gathering behind him, but refused to let go of the door. "Hurry!" he called desperately. Behind him, the King called, "Now, Sora! Let's close this door for good!" Sora nodded and shoved even harder. Riku hauled both doors back with renewed strength, clenching his teeth with the effort. "Don't worry," King Mickey assured them. "There will always be a door to the light."

The door was almost shut. Riku turned to Sora. There was so much to say. There was no way to say it. 'We'll meet again,' he silently promised, but all he said was, "Sora." Sora looked up, face expectant, as if after all that had been said and done, he still looked to Riku for guidance. "Take care of her."

The door closed, and Riku's final quiet plea was lost in the silence. "I'll come back.

"Someday."

XxXxX

Riku woke up. He didn't know where he was. A soft gray light seemed to shine from everywhere and nowhere at once. "Where am I?" he asked quietly, seeing no one. "...Is it dark or light? What's going on?" He didn't think he was still in Kingdom Hearts—this place wasn't of the darkness or the light, both of which seemed to coexist behind the door.

Beyond closing that door, Riku couldn't remember anything. "Did I get out of the darkness?" he asked aloud. "Hey, Your Majesty..." Riku looked around but there was no one there. "Your Majesty?" Silence. "King Mickey!" he called, starting to worry. "Where are you?"

He didn't know what to do. Without the King's help, Riku didn't know how to get back to his home—to his friends. He had to get back. He needed to make things right.

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay

"King Mickey!" Riku called again, feeling fear strike through him at the thought of being left alone again. He couldn't bear the thought. If there was no one around to talk to him, to comfort him, to make him feel like a human being after all that had been done to him—and all that he had done...he knew he'd never make it. If he was alone again...the shadow might come back. Tempting him. Goading him. Deceiving him—making him believe once again that darkness was the only way. And Riku knew he'd never get free again if he fell a second time.

There's always some reason
That you feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day

There was no one there. Riku shivered as he tried to look out beyond the soft, cool grayish light that illuminated...wherever the heck he happened to be. Suddenly, as if to belie his thoughts of abandonment, a voice spoke. Your king is far away, it said. Riku couldn't tell if it came from far off in the distance, or from somewhere deep inside himself. "Who's there?" he gasped.

I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins

The voice spoke again, and again Riku couldn't tell where it came from. Leave the war with darkness in his hands, it told him, at once indicative and commanding. You stay here and sleep, in this area between darkness and light. Riku looked around him again, this time not to look for anyone, but to examine his surroundings. The same soft gray light, like the island sky after one of its infrequent rainstorms, came from all directions at once, so it was impossible to tell how far away he was from, well, anything. Trying to make sense of the voice's enigmatic words, he repeated, "Sleep...between darkness and light?"

Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

The voice insisted, Here, as long as you're blanketed by light, sleep will protect you. Forever. You will never fear or hurt again.

As if. There was nothing in any of the worlds that could take away Riku's guilt and pain and shame from his own useless mistakes. Even keeping his promise and finding a way to get home to make amends wouldn't be enough. It would never be enough. He would hurt inside forever.

You're in the arms of the angels
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angels
May you find some comfort there

"You want me to sleep here forever? Give me a break," Riku said scornfully. On the outside, he almost looked like he believed what he was saying. Inside, though...inside, he wondered if it was such a bad idea.

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back

The thorny light of awakening will only bring anguish to one in your state, the voice said. It beseeched him, Turn from the light. Shut your eyes. The voice's tone worried Riku. "You talk like I'm some sort of demon in the dark," he said guardedly.

There was a tense pause. Then: Can you face the truth? the voice asked quietly.

And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack

Riku sighed sadly, and ran a hand through his hair. To be honest... He didn't know if he could handle the truth. If the truth was what he feared: that the darkness, despite his best efforts, still had a hold on him that he couldn't break; that his friends might not be able to forgive him, or he might not be able to ask them to; that he might, for once and for all, be finally, truly, and irrevocably alone...

The truth was, he really couldn't go back. Ever.

It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe

In this sweet madness

Oh this glorious sadness

That brings me to my knees

Riku could almost feel the light's presence around him. It was cool, soft and relaxing, like a breeze from the ocean at sunset on the islands. It felt...right. He felt his eyelids begin to drop. "If I sleep here," Riku murmured, "what will happen to me?"

Here, in the twilight, sleep brings comfort. You will forget all your suffering, all your pain and sorrow, and grief, the voice said. In this nothingness, the turmoil in your soul will cease, and you will finally be at rest.

The cool light felt infinitely soothing. Riku tried to tell himself that he had to stay awake, that he had to get out, but the prospect of inner peace was difficult to refuse. And he was so tired...

Riku sank to his knees, no longer even trying to fight it. The soft light bathed him in waves of comfort. He closed his eyes and whispered, "...Alright."

He wasn't aware of lying down, but he thought he must have, since he could feel the cool gray twilight cradling him in its soft embrace. A small sigh escaped his lips before he drifted off, his consciousness ebbing away into the blissful nothingness.

You're in the arms of the angels
May you find some comfort there

Riku was at peace.

A/N: ...I may need a moment...

Just review. I need to go get more tissues.