A special thank you to Jokerssmile for all your help, support and editing, and making this story possible.

I do not own Once Upon a Time or their Characters.

"I'm a monster. Not Emma, or The Saviour. Not even Mom. Just a fucking monster!"

Pacing within the confines of the D.O.'s Cave as Emma coined it when she first became the Dark One, She couldn't stop thinking about what she'd done the past couple of months since the curse of the Dark Ones dagger was broken and she was freed.

"Or was I? Did they really break the curse?" She wondered, "Maybe I'm still the Dark One."

She stopped in her tracks, "But the dagger had no one's name on it, I was freed, no one could summon me or control me. I was me or at least I thought I was.

"FUCK!" She yelled then continued to pace.

She felt the anger building up within her again and the cavern walls started to shake and rumble.

Ripping her heart out with her hand, Emma fell to her knees with a scream. Looking down at the beating organ all she saw was blackness.

Her heart was still black.

Only small speckles of red can be seen like tiny stars in the vast night sky.

Emma screamed again knowing that the Dark One's curse may be broken but she's still dark, still a monster.

"Why is this happening? This isn't right this shouldn't be black anymore! What the hell is going on?"

Emma took her heart in both hands and turned it around still only seeing small specks of red throughout.

"Regina was right." Emma said to herself with a shudder as she thinks about all the things Regina had said.

Why hadn't she ever notice the weariness in Regina's face and the...

Fear.

Henry.

The way he looked at her before she left made her feel sick and now she knew they were telling the truth.

Emma stared at her heart, "He was afraid of me. I hurt Regina. Why didn't I know what was going on?"

Nothing was making sense to Emma and the past three months seemed lost to her now.

Remembering back to the day the curse was broken. She had felt so alive and free. She was back with her family, with the ones she loved most.

She also remembered that the light feeling didn't last because of the evil and dark things she had done as the Dark One. The people she had hurt, the lives she'd destroyed and the killing.

Emma closed her eyes at the unbearable thought.

The devastation she had caused took away any happy feeling of being back to herself.

Of course a few days after the curse was broken her mother would have none of Emma's self-pitying mood. Mary Margaret had always been the unicorn and rainbow happy person and didn't want to dwell on the hurt and pain. But Emma did as well as those that were affected by the Dark One.

Her mother wanted, as always, to throw a party at Granny's but there was no way Emma was going to celebrate killing people. Whether it was over or not. That was just something you didn't celebrate.

"Emma darling, it's over now it's in the past. The people here know that wasn't the real you. They know you couldn't help the things you did. They'll want to celebrate that their Saviour is back now." Snow tilted her head as she looked at Emma with a happy smile.

"But I'm not the Saviour anymore." Emma told her, "I killed people. I hurt even more and a lot of lives were ruined because of the things I did."

"There is no celebrating that. Not now or ever. So there's not going to be a party because there's nothing happy about this. The curse is gone but the memory of it all is still here inside of me." Emma says with her hand on her chest.

"I'll never forget it and I'll never forgive myself for the things that I did. Never." Emma said as she walked out her parents home towards her car.

The memories of the day the curse was broken was conflicting in her mind because even though she was free she still felt heavy with all the memories of the terrible things she had done.

Driving away from her parents home she made her way to Mifflin Street. The only good thing if there was such a thing, about being the Dark One was realizing the love she had for Regina. Being the Dark One opened your mind to everything, never allowing you to hide your feelings, never allowing you to repress your thoughts, emotions, love and hate for all things. You were an open book that you could explore. And explore Emma did. All the forbidden thoughts, the little things she had done when she was the Saviour. All the times she helped Regina, saved Regina, defended Regina and pushed Regina. It all made so much sense to her, Emma was in love with her.

Emma half-chuckled to herself remembering when she arrived at Regina's. She really didn't know what she was going to say or do when she saw her, all she knew was she had to see her. She had to be with her, in the same room. She needed to look into those eyes that she missed so much even though it had only been 2 days since she had seen her last. Two days since Regina had saved her and broke the Dark One's curse.

The night she became the Dark One, when she saw the darkness taking over Regina's body, she knew there was no way she was going to allow that to happen to her. It wouldn't have been fair for her. All the hard work she had done to be a better person to be the real Regina. Emma protected the ones she loved and she loved Regina but didn't understand just how much.

Sure she told Hook she loved him but she wasn't IN love with him. In the alternate world he died for her, she felt she should love him. But that wasn't the same love and she didn't know it until it was too late. At least she thought that it was but she still had to see Regina, there was no one who she needed more at that moment than her.

Emma rushed from her car after she had parked rather poorly, half on the sidewalk half in the driveway. She didn't care, she wanted to see Regina, she wanted her to know everything. Running up the walkway the door to 108 Mifflin Street opens.

"Emma? Is there something wrong?" Regina asked as she sees Emma almost out of breath and with a wide smile. "Are you ok?"

"I'm better than ok, Regina. At least I am now." Emma said as she walked right up to Regina. There was hardly any space between them and Emma wanted it to be that much closer.

"Emma?" Regina asked not knowing entirely what was happening but she didn't pull away.

Emma sighed and pulled Regina in for a kiss. A kiss that was soft and spoke so much even if didn't last long. It meant everything to Emma and to Regina.

Regina smiled and brought Emma in for a hug, "I waited a long time for you."

Emma's head jerked up from the memory. She got up and once again started to pace in her cave.

The love she felt for Regina seemed so real now, it's as if the monster is gone and she's back again. How can this be when only a few hours ago Regina kicked her out and with almost hurting her if it hadn't been for Henry being there.

Emma was so confused, nothing was making sense to her anymore. She felt as if she was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, as if it were two people fighting it out inside her head.

As she continued to pace Emma started to talk to herself. "Rumple was the Dark One he might be going through the same thing. Although he didn't have magic before like I did. But still he may know something or went through this maybe he can tell me how to fight it or fix it or something." She was rambling now, "I still have magic I should be able to fix this and get Regina back. To have Henry not be afraid of me anymore. I have to see Rumple!"

She stopped pacing and looked down at her heart that was still in her hand, black and ugly.

She couldn't stand to look at it anymore. She took in a breath then slammed her heart back into her chest feeling the sharp pain that came from it.

"Ok I think it's time to see a man about a heart." Emma said then waved her hand in the air and disappeared through grey smoke.

She arrived at Rumple's shop and found no one there. Closed for the day.

"What time is it anyway? What day is this? Shit." She wondered then with another wave of her hand Emma finds herself at Rumple's house.

Pounding on the door relentlessly after a few minutes Belle comes to the door.

"Emma?

"Hey Belle, Look can I see Rumple? I need to talk to him. It's really important."

"Well he's asleep right now, he still quite weak after coming out of the coma. Maybe come by tomorrow a little earlier?"

"I'm sorry Belle." Emma said then pushed her way past Belle and walked into the house, "This can't wait."

She looked around downstairs, not seeing him so she headed upstairs and checked behind a few doors before finding him in the Master Bedroom lying down.

"Time to get up because you're coming with me." Emma said to him as she went over to him.

"M….Miss Swan? What pray tell are you doing in my house at this late hour?"

"I have questions and you have the answers and I want them now." Emma spat at Rumple leaning into his personal space.

"Miss Swan I'm sure I have no idea what this is about. Tomorrow, come back tomo..."

He never got to finish his sentence as Emma grabbed him, waved a hand and they both disappeared with a swirl of grey smoke.

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