Another one shot. Because yes, i'm bored. I'm working on Fix You, sort of. But this just came through my mind. This is like my break from taking too many essay exams today.Please review.
Disclaimer: i do not own Grey's Anatomy and the song, Concrete Girl, by Switchfoot
Concrete Girl
You had suspicions about your husband's whereabouts. But you try to think positive. You try to say to yourself that hey, maybe he really has a patient to check on. Maybe this time give him the benefit of the doubt. You sigh and look around. The world doesn't have a clue. They don't have a clue about how you feel. They don't know you're hanging but a thread—not even a thread, more likely a hair. You're hanging by this brittle hair that you're sure that's going to break pretty soon.
But you are Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd. You're strong. Your exterior is concrete, almost. But inside, you're crumbling down. You're losing to your inner turmoil. But now, even your outer appearance, the concreteness, is slowly cracking. Your havoc is leaking and hopefully not showing exteriorly.
Look what your husband did to you, Addison. Don't fall over, Addison.
You see Finn Dandridge, the vet, also, Meredith's date. Where's Meredith? You wonder. Oh don't tell me she's checking on a patient too. You approach him. He looks expectantly at you.
"Addison" he greeted you cheerfully. He looks so out of the loop.
"Finn, how are you?" You smile at him.
"I'm well, thank you. And you?" he's so polite. You like it.
"Hanging in there" you answer truthfully. He doesn't get the deeper meaning of your answer. He has no idea.
"Have you seen Meredith?" he asks. Got me you wanted to answer.
"No, I haven't"
"Because we were dancing and said she needed air. And I haven't seen her since then" You looked at him. The man seriously doesn't know what kind of mess he went in to.
"Oh, well, she's probably somewhere around" He nodded at you.
He started a conversation about his senior prom, you told her about your prom with Skippy Gold talking about Star Wars. You hear him talk, but you didn't comprehend what he was saying. Your mind slowly diverted to where your husband is and why Meredith Grey is missing in action too. You wanted to cry for a second, but decided not to. You burn the tear that was threatening to fall. He laughs, maybe he said something funny, and you fake your laughter too.
The elevator door opens and your husband steps out. He looked….you can't explain how. But you know that look. That hair you're hanging in to, it's slowly breaking, really. He gives you a look, but before you stare into deeply into his baby blues, he avoids your eyes. He's definitely hiding something. That benefit of the doubt, is well, gone, you suppose.
The chief approaches you with Miranda Bailey. He looked for the interns. And then, Meredith Grey resurfaces with the interns. You look at the girl you admire, Izzie Stevens, that is. She looked so broken. It was because of love. She lost the person she loves like you. Only your loss is more painful because he's still right here breathing. You gaze slowly shifts to Meredith Grey. And then you look at your husband, who was simply staring at the floor.
You're Addison Montgomery Shepherd. You're not stupid.
You called it a night and went home—without your husband. You do not have a clue to where he is. So you just went home. When you got home, it felt so different. Doc not being there keeping you company while you wait for your husband. You wanted to scream. You were truly alone. Oh but then you realize you're not really alone. You saw a bottle of scotch your husband has been keeping. And you found your new friend. You nursed it and waited. You were still in your prom dress. You looked amazing for him. And guess what, he still looked over your shoulder.
You're Addison Montgomery Shepherd. And you hate being second to anyone or anything.
Half a bottle later, the tiny door of the godforsaken trailer you share with your husband opens. He walks in, equally drunk as you—well maybe you consumed so much more than him. He looks depress. He looks rejected. You didn't really want to know why. He looks at you. His expression you cannot read. He leans towards you the smell of alcohol went through your nostrils. You're not sure if it's his or yours. He kisses you roughly. You just wanted to cry. After the deception, after putting the little pieces together, this is what he's doing to you. You push him away and wiped your mouth at the back of your hand. Your immovable thought about how your husband cheated on you was now forever imprinted in your mind. You couldn't bear to kiss him or touch him especially after knowing him having sex with another woman not long ago.
"What?" he asks you slurring his words
"I can't. Just don't. I'm tired"
"Addison…"
"Don't even, Derek. I want to be alone" You stand up and walk to the patio and sat on the chair. You stare at the darkness in front of you and watch as the rain fall. You can hear the raindrops fall in your tin roof. Your husband follows you and sits next to you. He didn't say anything. Not even about your new friend in hand. So it seems like he doesn't really care anymore.
"Addison…"
"I don't want to talk" you say grimly. Honestly, all you want to do is curl and break down. But you're Addison Montgomery Shepherd. You don't fall apart.
"Now you don't want to talk when we're alone and we don't have an audience" he says angrily
"I'm done. I don't want to compete anymore. Because at this battle I know I'm going to lose"
"What are you saying?"
"All I'm saying is I'm done fighting for nothing" you say and then gulp the rest of the scotch from the glass. You pour yourself another glass and your stare was kept fix out on the darkness.
"Add—"
"It's all false hope. It was like one step forward and three steps back. It's like you're stepping on all the hope I have now" you say cutting him off "So enough already. Just tell me, fight of flight?"
He remains quiet
"Just say it Derek, you wanted to talk, right? Now we're talking"
"Fight" he says quietly
"Fight because Meredith still chose the vet"
"No, fight because you're my wife"
"That answer is overrated. You've used that before and it didn't seem to agree with me anymore"
"Fight because I really want to be with you"
"I wish I could believe you" you say hoarsely "Just tell me, Derek. Just to give me clarity. Do you still love me? No wait, let me rephrase that. Are you still in love with me?" You feel his eyes staring at you. He didn't answer.
Concrete girl
Don't fall down
In this broken world around you
Concrete girl
Don't fall down
Don't fall down
My concrete girl
You know he's not going to answer because he's in love with Meredith Grey. But those unsaid words are what hurt the most. You stood up and walked in the trailer. He remained outside sitting on the chair. You changed into sweat pants and a tank top and pull a sweater over your head. You took your purse and car keys and walk out again. He looks at you wondering what you are doing.
Without a word, you walked into the pouring rain to your car. He runs after you and grasps your arm pulling you towards him. You try to fight it but you couldn't. It feels so good and you miss it. He presses your body against his. You feel him take a deep breath inhaling you're the scent of your hair. You just couldn't take it anymore. That's all you wanted. That's all what it takes for redemption. Now it was a complete opposite of how you felt. Now you want him. Tears start falling.
Concrete Girl
Don't fall down
In this concrete world around you
"I just want to be with you" he says
"You want to be with Meredith. You had sex with her, didn't you?" You managed to say
"I'm still in love with you. I wish I realized sooner. But yes, today, I had sex with Meredith. But then I realized she's nothing like you. There's nothing in there anymore. It was like everything about her was just in my imagination. I thought I want her, but I was just so mad at you before that is why the idea of Meredith sounded so good. But now, you're here and I took you for granted. And I'm in love with you and only you."
He holds you tighter. You couldn't stop crying. You start to sob and he rubs your back. Under the rain, he pulls slightly away and wiped the mix of tears and rain streaming down your face. He leans and kisses you. You give in and kiss you back. And this time it is different. This time, you feel more in that one kiss. No more insecurity. You were comfortable in his eyes and so was he. A part of you does not believe him, but maybe this time he's telling the truth that Meredith isn't going to be a problem anymore.
Concrete girl
Don't fall down
Don't break down
My concrete girl
It starts to rain heavier. You are both soaked. He kisses you again, even more passionately this time. He pulls you slightly higher allowing you to wrap your legs around him. He leads you to the trailer on the bed you share with him. He settles on top of you and pushes the wet stray hair on your face aside and lovingly gazes into your eyes. He leans in and kisses you from the lips trailing down.
After about an hour, he collapses next to you. You are both panting and sweating. You are satisfied. And by the looks of it, so is he. You just had the most passionate sex you've ever had in such a long time. He rolls to his side and drapes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. He places a kiss on your shoulder.
"That was amazing" he whispers
"It was" you say as a tear quietly falls from your eye
"What's wrong?" he asks as he wipes it
"I'm scared that this is all just a dream" you say softly
"I promise I'm not going anywhere. I promise really this time, Meredith is not going to be a problem. And for the record, Meredith didn't choose me over the vet, because before she could choose, I thought of you, and I realize that I love you. So I turned around and walk home to you"
"You mean that?"
"Yes, because I can't imagine the rest of my life without you. I love you, Addison" And this time you know that he really means it.
"I love you too, Derek"
End.
Hey, a girl an dream, right? Pssh, i wish this will happen. But whatever. I didnt expect it to end this way because I leaning to a really sad fic. But somehow i ended up here. So yes, please review.