Authors notes:
Okay I just finished reading Just Listen and it just hit this spot in me. I don't know why I waited so long to read it. And I'm always writing fanfiction, which means everything I do—I'm thinking of alternate endings or future conflicts. I came up with this idea just after I read the last page of the book. Probably the best Sarah Dessen book yet.
I went through all the stories just to make sure no one came up with this idea yet, and I'm so excited to see that I get to have the original.
CHAPTER ONE
I sat on my front steps, my legs stretched out in front of me. I lean on my palms and stretch my head back, letting the slight autumn breeze tickle my face. I had grown my hair back out the summer before senior year. I had recalled some time in the previous October, a certain male telling me he preferred my hair long. Well, I was the one quick to please. I had never dyed my hair, it was still the same color as it was four years ago. My hair wasn't the only thing that stayed the same.
I had the same family, my mom and dad, my sisters Whitney—the middle sister, she was the one closest to me in location. Kristen, the oldest, was closest to me in the other way. I always got along better with Kristen. It wasn't much, since I was always left out of both their lives growing up, but it was enough. Especially now. Now they took the time to ask.
There was a time when I felt I couldn't tell them anything, because they had such big problems of their own. I suppose we each had to look for the support of the others in order to get closer.
My mom and dad were still the same. Totally in love. Total pain the in necks sometimes, but whose parents aren't?
We were what people would see, as they drove by our house, the perfect family, but we were far from it. Especially before and during my junior year.
I just started my second year of college now, and things were as good as they could be. Still lived at home though, this was a bummer. Whitney had asked me if I wanted to move in with her. She had a little apartment up near the commercial area. I could tell by looking in her eyes, that she enjoyed the independence. I know that we would have been okay, but I wanted to give her space. We got along better when we didn't see each other so much.
I had made a few friends in college, but most of them were just the students I knew from high school. I did have friends that came with me though. Clarke and I had gotten close again over the year and a half before college. We weren't best friends like before, but we were close. That's all I really needed. She was still with Rolly. Happy ever after, you could say. I rarely saw them fight, but when I did they went all
out. There was a time last year when they didn't talk for weeks. Rolly ended up camping out in her parents from yard. I wish I could have seen their faces. Although Clarke did give me a pretty good image.
Okay. I think I've put it off long enough. You're probably thinking, "What about Owen.?" Ha, well obviously we were still together. We took it day by day. Under the circumstances, we were alright. We might disagree on things, like music, but it was part of our relationship. We'd been together almost three years, of course there would be those moments when we got totally sick of each other. Like last spring when I told him I was staying in town.
"Annabel, you're not staying here. You could go anywhere, Yale, anything. You are way too smart to stay here."
"But you're staying here." I whined, plopping down on his bed. I grabbed his pillow and hugged it to myself, not looking him in the eye. When I looked him in the eye, I couldn't help but let my tongue slip. I heard him let out a deep breath and then he kneeled down in front of me. Slowly, he pulled the pillow out of my arms. I let go reluctantly.
"Look at me, Annabel." He whispered in that tantalizingly deep voice of his. I didn't move my head. "Stubborn." He whispered under his breath before taking his hands and turning my chin up so that I had to look at him. I pouted my lips and he pressed his palms into my cheeks, making me look like a fish. "You got into Yale." He said. "I do not want to be the reason for you staying in this hell hole after everything that has happened to you here." I shook my head and he let go of me. I took in a deep breath.
"I need to be here. For my mom, for my sister…" I whispered.
"You're lying." He said and then he stood up, walking to his far wall. He hit his head against the wall and then turned around. I stared at him with a blank expression. "Maybe if we… took some breathing time… you would figure out that you would be happier somewhere else." My jaw dropped open.
"You mean break. Up.?" I hesitated around the words. They sounded foreign to me. He watched me for a second and then nodded. I closed my eyes to stop myself from bursting.
"Fine." I whispered and then stood up and made my way out of his room. I walked down the hall, past Mallory's bedroom – I could hear the newest Jenny Reef music blaring from her stereo, down the staircase and into the empty foyer. I opened the door and just stood there. It was quiet. I could no longer hear the soft music from Owens room, or the pop beats from his sister's. I could feel the tears about to well up behind my lids.
I was about to take a step onto the front porch when a hand grabbed me around the waist. The bright sunlight from outside vanished as the door closed. Then my back was up against the wall. It all happened so fast that my head spun, but it ended the second I felt his hot breath on my cheeks, on my lips. His hands wrapped around me, pulling me up so that he could stand straight. Then his lips were on mine, and all thoughts of crying vanished. It was a deep kiss, one of the ones you read in books were the
heroine says she lost her breath. This was better than that. His hands roamed my body, but I didn't care. I was doing the same to him. His lips let me go in order to breathe.
"I change my mind." He panted. He didn't give me a chance to answer. He pressed his lips against mine again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body up against him. He groaned.
"Do you want me to stay?" I whispered into his ear.
"More than anything. I guess I am selfish, but I love you." That was the first time he had ever said it. The 'L' word. We both realized it. He turned his head to look me in the eye. He had a strange shadow over him that came through the living room window. It almost made him look angelic. Which he wasn't, and he was going to get ever farther from it soon. I tilted my chin towards him.
"I love you too." He smiled slightly, and then it turned into a full out grin. "And I'm not leaving." I stated.
"Good." He kissed me again.
That was the first night we did it. You know what I mean.
--
I stood up off my front stairs and walked back into the house. From the front door I could see my mom setting dessert on the table, positioning the plates so they aligned. This was normal. I closed the door behind me and she looked up with a smile.
"I made your favorite."
"I know. It looks amazing." I sat down at the table. My dad was already there, ready to put a piece of cheesecake onto my plate. Picking up my fork, I thanked my father and that was that. I looked up and saw a car go by the front house, as usual it slowed down. I barely noticed anymore. This was life.