Adios Derek? Ciao Bella! — a Dasey fic

A/N: This thing takes place before (actually, instead of) "Adios Derek", but it does have a bit of dialogue from "When Derek Meets Sally". Oh, and if you wanna know what (Isa)Bella looks like, go to YouTube and watch the video for Santana & Chad Kroeger's "Into The Night". The dancing girl's her.

So yeah. Hope you like.

Disclaimer: If I owned Life With Derek, I would be holding a major fanfic-writing competition for the best script/fanfic that would turn into the Life With Derek movie. Seeing as that's not happening, you can tell that I don't own the show.

Prologue

Derek Venturi strode confidently into Thompson High and, as he did every school morning, met up with his best friend Sam by their lockers to idle away the few minutes before class started.

However, Sam had been focusing on something by himself, and when Derek approached, he only gave him a quick "Hi" and nodded his head towards the center of his attentions. "You think that girl's cute?" he asked, feeling the need for Derek's approval.

"No," Derek replied calmly, "'cause I'm not looking."

"Well, she's right over there." Sam pointed.

Derek shook his head. "No, I'm not looking at that girl because I am not looking at girls, period. It's part of my new philosophy."

"You have a philosophy?" Sam was incredulous, but Derek only nodded with a satisfied smile on his face.

Sam decided to humor his friend. "Well, give it up, O wise Derocrates."

"Ah, Derocrates decrees that girls are trouble. And girlfriends are even bigger trouble."

"And you achieved this higher level of understanding how?" Sam inquired, before archly answering the question himself. "By dating Kendra for three months? Oh, and that waitress Beth for three days?"

"Yes, but the same goes for all girls," Derek clarified. "They demand to know your thoughts and feelings; your thoughts about those feelings; and I have absolutely no thoughts." He soon realized how literally stupid he had made himself sound. "About feelings," he quickly amended.

"Ok, so now that you're done with girls, what are you gonna focus on? Your schoolwork?"

Derek laughed before responding, "Derocrates cares not for books. Derocrates cares only for food and sport." His voice went into a caveman grunt with the last word.

Sam continued to look at the girl from before. "Is girl-watching a sport?" he asked innocently, a silly grin on his face. "You know, 'cause I could look at her all day."

"Go ahead, waste your time, Samuel," Derek told him, "but remember how things worked out with your last girlfriend." He feigned loss of memory. "What's her name again?"

"Casey," Sam supplied.

Derek nodded. "Yeah. Turned out to be a total time-sucker."

Sam defended his past relationship with Derek's stepsister. "No, it didn't. We're good friends now."

Derek relented, but only halfway. "Great. Be the cute girl's friend. But don't ask her out. The only way to feel good and live to your full dude potential"—he emphasized this with clenched fists—"is to be single."

Sam suddenly spotted something that he knew Derek—or rather, the old Derek—would appreciate, and softly smacked him on the shoulder to get his attention. "Dude, new girl at five o' clock."

Derek smiled. "Ah, nice try, Sam, but I will not waste my time turning my head to look at some"— he did so, and all the Derocrates moonshine vanished from his mind in an instant—"really good-looking new girl."

One could practically hear castanets at the sight of her. She was a great Spanish beauty, olive-skinned, black-haired and -eyed, and had one of the nicest figures Derek had ever had the pleasure of seeing. He watched her closely to see where she was going, and was about to run up to her and confess his undying love, when he was startled by a sudden scream.

"IS?!" (a/n: Yes, exactly like the word 'is') Casey cried out, staring at the new girl.

The girl stared back at Casey. "CASEY?!" Casey nodded frantically, looking like she was about to cry from happiness.

The new girl's face instantly lit up, and she showed off a wonderful pearly smile, before she and Casey ran straight into each other's arms in the middle of the hallway, squealing loudly, as girls sometimes do when they get excited.

And that was how Derek's dream girl turned into his worst nightmare.