Risk It
A/N: Before you ask, Haru did take Isuzu along on the visits. It's in the fan book. Now that that's out of the way, this is how I imagine Haru's secret visits to Yuki panned out, though I may be wrong. I'm not quite sure what I want to say, so I'll shut up. I'll just say this; the title comes from Haru being willing to take the ENORMOUS risk of punishment to visit Yuki; that Yuki means that much to Haru, and Haru means that much to Yuki. Even if that doesn't make sense, it seemed appropriate.
Oh yeah, and Yuki doesn't know what Haru and Rin have promised.
….
Haru wasn't worried for himself as much as he was worried for Yuki; he felt like he had so much to make up to him. The groundless hatred he had felt towards Yuki for simply being the Rat, and Yuki had repaid him by freeing him. And Yuki, poor Yuki was all alone in that black hole.
Haru crept along the corridor, hardly daring to breathe, lest he be heard. Isuzu crept alongside him, silent as the grave. She never spoke during Haru's secret visits; Haru rarely spoke either. He simply kept Yuki company, a friendly presence saying "You are not alone." Yuki never said much, for his part; he just sat there, smiling slightly at Haru, grateful for the company that kept him from going insane.
They arrived at the door of Yuki's prison. Isuzu sat down on the floor, eyes sharp as a needle, ears pricked for any sign that someone was coming. Isuzu too was badly damaged, both emotionally and physically, and Haru brought her along for the same reasons he visited Yuki; to keep her company and to show her that someone, no matter what others (Akito) said, liked her. The responsibility of keeping lookout also helped Rin; it gave her a purpose, something she was needed for.
Haru slid open the door inch by inch; there was a slight scraping noise, causing everyone, especially Yuki, to catch their breath; Haru's visits were never regular, and only when it was safe for the both of them to go. Whenever the door slid open, Yuki always assumed it was Akito.
Haru closed the door silently, before making his way across the room and sitting beside Yuki, his hand on Yuki's. Through the darkness, he could see Yuki's grateful smile, and Haru smiled right back.
"Are you okay?" Haru asked in a ghost of a whisper; no one outside the room had a hope of hearing. Yuki nodded silently, but Haru could see the tears in his eyes, tears he dared not cry. Akito had been telling him things again. Haru wrapped his arms around Yuki's delicate body; he felt so fragile, Haru almost thought he'd break in two. He could feels cuts and bruises of all sizes on Yuki's bare skin; maybe he'd been hurt worse and Haru couldn't tell. Hot tears slowly trickled down Yuki's face, and Haru just held him tighter. Haru couldn't go head-to-head with the childish but powerful (in more ways than one) family head, but he could defy him by giving his 'toy' this one small pleasure.
….
Isuzu gave the signal; she crawled into the room and huddled into a corner. Every visit meant taking the risk of being caught, and they couldn't leave the way they came without arousing suspicion. Luckily for the trio, the room was so pitch-black that a certain two small children could hide in its corners, and as long as those two small children stayed silent, they could remain undiscovered until they could make their escape. Haru also headed for the other corner, another point in the plan. If someone was discovered, the discoverer would assume, unless they knew otherwise, that whoever they'd found was the sole culprit; the discoveree could (and had sworn they would) take the sole blame, leaving the other to visit Yuki. Haru had no problems in swearing this, and after relating the similarities of her and Yuki's situation to Rin (the abuse, the self-hatred, the feeling of being all alone) it hadn't taken much convincing to get her to swear too. Isuzu might be bitter, but she wasn't heartless.
…
Akito swept into the room, before settling down next to Yuki, sitting on his knees. He traced a finger over Yuki's pretty face and whispered "You'll be a good Rat? You'll never defy me; you'll take everything I give you?" Haru didn't like the way he said "take everything I give you". It implied that there was more to come.
"I'll be good," Yuki whispered, voice shaking.
Akito kissed the top of his head and smiled. "That's a good Rat. There is no hope for you, you know that. No one loves you, except for me. Except for me, you are all alone." Akito pinched Yuki hard, making Yuki cry out and rub his arm where Akito had pinched him, so hard he was sure there would be blood, or at least a bruise. Then Akito kissed Yuki again, and left, holding his stomach as though he were about to throw up. Knowing Akito, he probably was.
Haru mentally breathed a sigh of relief as he crawled out of his corner. But before he left, he had one question that needed answering.
"Why did Akito do that?" Haru said it so quietly that even in the silence of the room, Yuki had trouble catching everything. He hoped that Yuki grasped how much he meant by 'that'.
"He was hitting me. He was really mad. I… I asked him to stop."
So that was what he meant by "take everything I give you". So why had Akito kissed him after that? Haru felt so much anger towards Akito for making Yuki feel like it was his fault he was Akito's punchbag, but contained himself; if he went Black, they'd be discovered, and no doubt Yuki would be hurt even more, if that were possible. He was at least grateful that Yuki hadn't been smacked around too badly today; God (ha) knew Haru had seen him worse.
Haru hugged Yuki once, and Isuzu gave him a look of understanding; quite a stretch for her, as she usually looked either poker-faced or angry. Yuki gave a tiny smile and smoothed out his kimono, before Haru and Rin made their escape, after Rin checked the corridor to make sure no one was there.
…
For every visit Haru made, that one happiness made every beating slightly more bearable, and made Yuki wonder whether concepts like hope might apply to him after all.