A/N: Dedicated to Ataokoloinona, for giving me the idea for a Kakuzu story! This is really just my Chanukkah present to the world, seeing as I wasn't able to publish until today. XD I hope it's up to snuff. Please be very sympathetic, Kakuzu is OOC (And Temari? Kind of... I really can't tell anymore. XD) So please enjoy! And I'm sorry if it's extremely cliche, it's really a Kakuzu centered thing. So enjoy!
-WhirledPeace
Time off. It was glorious. Kakuzu hated to think it was glorious because he hadn't had a day of peace in five years, or that it was only because someone decided it was his birthday, but that the sun was nice and the air was clean. He almost convinced himself of it, as well, which was better than usual. He stretched, feeling the sun on his bare shoulders. His hair fell back and he felt his stitches grow taught. But at least not having Hidan around felt good. At least…
Deciding the sun was too hot, Kakuzu retreated to his tent. He lay down on his sleeping matt and stared at the green, worn fabric of his tent. Why was he here? He only found pleasures in varying shades of grey now, and had stopped searching for pleasure long ago. Money. It got him by easier. It made things easier. He wasn't kidding when he said that the world runs on money. It's a cold and simple fact that money is the grease in the joints of the machine. It just made life easier. But why bother making life easier, if it made no difference?
Kakuzu sighed. Maybe this vacation was not a good thing. Leaving him alone with his thoughts and no purpose, no goal, might not have a positive outcome. He'd probably just lie here the whole time. Whoever decided they'd go find the "ancient scroll" that had his birth date on it just to get him out of there was going to pay. It was probably Deidara. Just probably.
The beach was a small strip of sand before the curt, clear ocean. It was surrounded by dense woods, and almost impossible to get to. No one was expected there for the entire two weeks he had off, seeing as it would take a ninja to get to a dirty, smelly old beach. That was the general idea. The fact it was also winter and most self-respecting people were at home and not on vacation also helped. If only Kakuzu could remember his own damn birthday, he could get out of this vacation. 'Look on the bright side,' he reminded himself. 'No Hidan, no Zetsu… it's actually refreshing.' And Kakuzu could almost convince himself of that, as well.
It was late. Kakuzu knew it by the sting in his eyes and the ache in his shoulders. Late… and still no sleep. Late, nothing to do, on a beach where no one ever came, at a time when no one was even in the nearest villages, at an hour all respectable people were asleep alone or in pairs in warm beds, far away from anything resembling proximity to here. All was sickeningly quiet. And it was late, and Kakuzu's body refused to sleep. His mind didn't race, more meandered, really, to matters surrounding his life. Why everyone had decided it was good for him to go away for a while, for one.
It had been one of those days. One of the ones where Hidan didn't shut up about his stupid illusory fantasy called a "god", his rituals took up the time Kakuzu had set up for collecting bounty, it was cold, Hidan begged for a hotel and got a blunt object shoved somewhere rather private, and was still complaining. And it was cold. Cold was always bad.
"Hidan, I swear, if you don't shut up, I'll-"
"What, like you could pull it off, old man," Hidan drawled. Kakuzu whirled around, glaring down at Hidan.
"I was going to say 'make you wish you were never born. That, I think, Hidan, I can pull off." There was a dark, icy aura about Kakuzu and his words. Hidan pondered his next words.
"Like you could pu-" And for the record, yes, Kakuzu could pull it off.
Kakuzu was sitting by a fire, staring up at the stars, feeling somewhat content with a pile of Hidan flesh discarded somewhere in the darkness. At that moment, Leader's rants and lost bounty were far away. Silent as the night, three figures dropped from a tree and scooped Hidan's bloodied corpse (Or, what Kakuzu enjoyed thinking of as a corpse) and made to leave. Actually deciding losing Hidan would be worse than the beating he had given him, Kakuzu stood and trapped two of the people in his tendrils. One evaded, however. Kakuzu, not exactly perturbed if these ninja made off with Hidan's disgusting remains, allowed her to face him. "Well we weren't bothering you, now were we?" she said, hands on hips. Kakuzu paused a moment.
"Well, no, you-" "So what's your damage, mate?" There was a long silence. "Are you for real?" Kakuzu asked. The girl shrugged. "Look, mate, I speak your language. 20%." "Excuse me?"
"I said
, 20%." This time, her statement was accompanied by a gesture at Hidan. It clicked.
"How do you propose I receive 20% of his bounty, hmm?" Kakuzu asked, humoring her.
"I said, 20%." This time, her statement was accompanied by a gesture at Hidan. It clicked. "How do you propose I receive 20% of his bounty, hmm?" Kakuzu asked, humoring her.
"What, you mean you don't have spies?"
"I think it would be to our mutual interest if you just replaced my partner-"
"Look, we aren't bothering you-" The tendrils around the girl's teammates began to tighten. Before any mortal could blink, sand enveloped Kakuzu, much like his tendrils. His grip loosened, and the ninja were gone. He could hear the girl laughing.
Hidan was back at a base, recovering now. Zetsu wasn't exactly too happy at having to patch up Kakuzu's 'handiwork'. Him being higher up in the organization, he gave Kakuzu a large piece of his mind. Every goddamned time Zetsu happened to be taking a break he would glare at Kakuzu and lecture him about controlling his anger and violence. Kakuzu hated being lectured by younger people, especially people as young as Zetsu. It was maddening. And maybe that was why he had sent Zetsu's head through a wall. When questioned, he claimed it was provoked. Hidan got pissed, when he was finally healed, because Konan had to be called in to heal Zetsu so he could finish healing Hidan. Seeing as all the destruction was cause by a single person, Kakuzu was given an "optional" two weeks of leave. For his birthday, if he'd care to take the time. Knowing Hidan still had a long ways to recover, and if he ever ran into Zetsu he was likely to wake up somewhere cold, damp, dark, and with no recollection of what had happened, Kakuzu had accepted the leave.
And now, he wasn't sure if he would go back.
The morning sun was pale as it began to rise. The sky was watery and colorless, with clouds already moving in. Kakuzu would know, he had watched the entire thing from midnight to now. Suddenly, he sensed someone approaching. Deciding having more hurt or dead people on his record would just seal the deal and get him kicked out, he asked his chakra and hid in a tree. Three figures emerged from the forest, all familiar. "Do you sense anything, Kankuro?" the girl in the lead asked, voice low.
"No…" the older looking boy answered.
"Are you sure? Maybe I'm just paranoid…" The girl looked around.
"Well, obviously someone's been here," the boy conceded.
"So how did a camper get here?" the girl questioned.
"Boat, maybe?" the boy answered, not exactly too interested in the matter.
"Huh. I don't buy it."
"Why did you bring us here anyway, Temari?" the boy asked. These were the Kazekage's children. The little one that hadn't said anything had Shukaku in him. A tailed beast. Which Akatsuki wanted. Kakuzu contemplated this. He was alone, they were not. It was difficult fighting one with Hidan. He hated to admit it, but without the immortal, he wouldn't be able to capture beasts. Besides, he didn't have a mission. He wasn't specifically ordered to do anything. So he stayed put. Temari started explaining how she had found this hiding place, and what it could be used for. Kankuro yawned, and she gave him a good slap upside the head, telling him he should use his brain. After a small fight fight, they lost interest in the dispute and fell silent.
"Well, I'm heading back," Kankuro said.
"I'm going to stay here for a bit."
"How long?"
"I don't know. I'll call if anything happens."
"All right. Come on, Gaara." And the boys left. Once they were gone, Temari, without even looking over, shot a kunai at the tree.
"Come on out now, hun," she called. Kakuzu didn't move. Slowly, he masked himself, giving himself a different appearance, and stepped out from the shadows. He stepped forward and was exposed on the early morning beach. The girl smirked, hand on hip. "You must be one damn shy guy, to mask yourself like that and hide behind a tree." Kakuzu stared. He said nothing. "You know, living in that town must get pretty boring. A nice vacation must be nice, no?" Kakuzu said nothing. "Well, I'm sorry to disturb you. I'm sorry if I come back here, but I'm just scoping out the scenery. You must know a bit about being a ninja, no? I'm sure you understand." Temari bowed, and left in the same direction as her brothers. Kakuzu sighed.
Why hadn't he captured her and sent a note to her brothers? Why had he just stood there? Well, it wasn't as if anyone from Akatsuki would find out he let them walk away, and upholding a ransom on his own while he waited for assistance would really ruin his vacation. And that, he could, somewhat, convince himself of. And so he sat down to watch the ocean.
It was about midday. Kakuzu was lying on his stomach in the sand. Why was he even here? What did Akatsuki really offer him? A convenient way to gain cover? Why did he need cover, anyway? Running a pyramid scheme didn't sound bad at all, at this point. At least he didn't have to kill anyone. Killing was messy, but it paid so well…
Kakuzu felt something cold on his skin and, for a moment, thought a bird had just flown over him. He opened his eyes and was instantly on his feet, only to see Temari standing there, sunscreen in hand. "You're going to get sunburned if you keep out here like that," she said.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"What, don't ask me to rub it in, now."
"What are you doing here?" Kakuzu asked, calming himself down a bit.
"I told you I'd be back. I need to scope out our surroundings. You know, it's a ninja thing." Temari chuckled as Kakuzu just continued to stare at her. "Want to tag along?" Kakuzu remained silent. "Well, if you're going to follow me, just rub in your sunscreen." Kakuzu stared as Temari turned to survey the ocean. Tentatively, Kakuzu reached behind himself and rubbed in the white goo. Temari smirked ever so slightly, although she was still looking at the ocean. She then headed off into the forest and, after a moment's hesitation, Kakuzu followed. It had been almost sixty years since he spoke to someone who knew the difference between right and wrong.
"This town isn't so bad," Temari was saying. "I mean, it's a bit slow this time of year, but during tourist season it's crawling with people from all over."
"So what are you doing here at this time of year?" Kakuzu asked. This wasn't like him. Give him a week off and he goes back to what he was. What he could be now, if he had any time to think about it.
"Well, my brother being a very important person, he only gets time off when nothing's happening. Besides, crowds aren't exactly his thing."
"You'd give up a good vacation for your brother?"
"Well, now, I get enough sun at home." Kakuzu shook his head. He couldn't fathom it. "So what're you doing here?"
"That's a long story…"
"I'm sure." Temari smirked. "Anyway, want to head into town to get some tea?" Kakuzu went rigid. Into town? Of all the things he was strictly forbidden to do… by Leader…
"Sure."
The tea was all right. It didn't have any specific wonderful taste, but it was better than the usual tea Kakuzu drank. Temari was actually silent, contemplating Kakuzu. "So, where are you from?"
"Nowhere in particular."
"What about your home village?" Temari asked.
"Huh?"
"Well, you must've received training somewhere," Temari reasoned.
"I'm no longer from a village," Kakuzu said.
"You deserted?" Temari asked, shocked.
"No. I never completed my training. I sort of just picked it up."
"I see. But you have to have vast amounts of chakra, no?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, to keep up a different appearance…"
"There was an accident," Kakuzu said stiffly and coldly, hoping to give her the sense he didn't want to talk about it. There had been an accident. He was here, wasn't that proof enough?
"Well, I'm sure you don't actually look that bad. I mean, there are plenty of women who can see past appearances." Kakuzu rolled his eyes.
"Whatever you say." Temari laughed.
"Bitter, much?"
"Don't think I resemble my tea." Temari laughed at this.
"Is it really that bad?" she asked. Kakuzu shrugged.
"Not terribly so," he replied. They lapsed into a silence.
"So, you just travel around?" Temari finally asked. Kakuzu nodded. "That's a tough life. No friends, no family…" Kakuzu shrugged.
"It's not so bad."
"Where do you get money? You must not really have a need of it, traveling around and all." Kakuzu stiffened.
"You'd be surprised." They lapsed into silence again. Temari gazed out at the ocean.
"It's really beautiful. I don't usually get to see a lot of water at one time, living in the desert." Kakuzu nodded, gazing out at the dark, crisp blue of the ocean as it lapped at the sand. "Come on, let's go for a walk."
That evening they bid each other goodnight, after spending quite a lot of time together. Kakuzu retreated to his tent. Why was he doing this? There was nothing special about the girl. He knew that. But he had the whole opportunity to capture her, or kill her, because there hadn't been an immediate need. No one had told him to. How long had he been working under someone's orders? His whole life. Why did he leave his village? Kakuzu hung his head. Exactly.
Why had he suddenly gravitated towards more orders, missions, and authority. Why couldn't he just give it up? How old was he, and how long had he been choosing to be under someone's power? It felt like ages. And now, without anyone around, Kakuzu was beginning to find his interests in life. For the first time. You're never to old to find yourself.
The next day Temari found Kakuzu, and they spent the day the same way as before. And this continued. For the rest of the week, they spent either in a tea house, on the beach, or on the pier. Sometimes they rarely spoke, simply enjoying the presence of someone else. Kakuzu didn't know if Temari was used to being around people all that much or not (hell, he didn't even know her age) but she seemed comfortable just being together without words or menial conversation.
It was a week since they had met. Kakuzu was starting to see her as a… human being. Humans, people, before, had either had a purpose or not. And as they sat on the beach, the little one where Kakuzu was camped, and watched the sunset, Kakuzu vaguely wondered why she had stayed longer than usual. "It's beautiful," Temari commented. Kakuzu grunted. "Sunset on a beach. There's something somewhat romantic about it, no?" Kakuzu glanced at her and shrugged. He had never thought about anything more romantic than a new heart. Kakuzu pondered the word. What was romance, really, but two people with mutual affection and simply playing around? It was pointless.
Kakuzu jumped as he felt a hand encompass his own. Startled, he looked over at Temari. Temari was smirking. She said nothing. He said nothing. Temari turned back to watch the ocean and sunset, and Kakuzu watched their hands for a bit longer before doing the same.
Days passed. Temari made a habit of staying for sunset, and putting her hand on top of his. Kakuzu couldn't make heads or tails of it. Was she trying to make a move on him? Did she expect something of him? No. She was an all right young lady, who gave him a much needed taste of reality. There wasn't anything particularly special about her, except the fact she wasn't a murderer like he was. Or was she? Who could tell?
"So, what're you trying to get away from?" Temari asked.
"Pardon?"
"What's made you come to the middle of nowhere for a vacation in the middle of winter, eh?"
"… it's complicated."
"You don't have to give the details. What's the general idea?"
"Well, it has to do with… my… roommates? It's rather a complicated relationship. WE often live together, but we work together."
"Continue."
"They piss me off to no end. I hate people trying to take charge of my life and what I do."
"Oh? Then why not leave 'em?" Kakuzu was silent. "Oh, I'm sorry, do you have like, a wife and kids or something?"
"No. No ties. They'd just be… angry."
"Dangerous, is it?" Temari asked.
"Most likely," Kakuzu replied
"Do they know where you are?" Temari asked. Kakuzu pondered this.
"Yes."
"Could they track you?"
"…perhaps." Again, Kakuzu had to think about his answer.
"Is it a risk you'd like to take?" Temari was looking at him seriously.
"You mean leave them?" Temari nodded. Kakuzu pondered this. "And do what? They're my source of employment."
"I dunno. You've been employed before this, right?" Kakuzu actually laughed at her words.
"You could say so."
"So then what's the problem? You're the one to blame, if you're letting them hold you back." Kakuzu nodded.
"True. I'll think about it."
And it was midway through the next week that anything happened. The sun had set, and Temari showed no sign of leaving. Kakuzu didn't mind. It was growing cold, and her hand was welcome. Slowly, Temari turned to look Kakuzu in the eye, while both her hands held his. "You have got to be the thickest piece of man-flesh I have ever met." Kakuzu, startled, drew his hand back and gave her a strange look.
"Excuse me?" he asked.
"You heard me. Would you prefer I just make things simpler, hmm?" Kakuzu merely stared as Temari brought his hand to her waist and scooted closer to him.
"Uh…" he grunted. Temari was close now. "Wait wait wait!" Kakuzu cried, putting his hands out her shoulders. "I don't even know how old you are!"
"Seventeen."
"You… you don't know me! You don't even no my name!" Temari chuckled, slipping her arms around Kakuzu's neck and burring her face in his collar with a slight chuckle.
"I know more than you think, Ka-ku-zu," she purred, emphasizing every syllable. Kakuzu froze.
"You…"
"Oh please, how dumb do you think I am?" Temari pulled back to look him in the eye. "I know who you are, what you are, and you've already told me what you're doing here." Kakuzu stared.
"How…?"
"Don't question me. Just know that you're very… obvious."
"Taking your knowledge into account, are you sure this is what you should be doing?" Temari laughed.
"You've been telling me this whole time that you're part of a 'group' that you don't like, if you left you'd be in danger, and almost everything else that describes your organization. So please, say no more." Temari leaned closer to Kakuzu's face.
"You can't be serious. You want to jump me on a beach?" Temari laughed, standing and grabbing his hand.
"Well, Mr. Snooty, do you have a better idea?" Kakuzu stared. What was going on? His mind was racing. Was this a trap? She had just told him she knew who he was, and what he was doing. Temari must've seen his confusion and mistrust, for she sighed, squatting back down in front of him. "I know who you are. You know who I am. I know you're thinking about leaving Akatsuki. I'm only here to give you incentive. One less Akatsuki is one less threat to my brother."
"So you'd sleep with me for your brother?" Temari laughed.
"You're such a stiff. What, are you a virgin?" she teased. Kakuzu merely stared at her. She wasn't much, not very different from other boisterous kunoichi. Slowly, he brought his hand to her lower back, bringing them even closer. If it was what she fucking wanted, who was he to hold out? Temari grabbed his hand again and brought it to her well-formed breast. Their eyes met. Temari grinned.
Kakuzu awoke to a comfortably warm bed. He smiled to himself before he opened his eyes. There was a kettle of boiling water in the corner of his tent, and an empty space in his bed. There was also a note. Kakuzu picked it up and held it up as he turned on his back.
Dear Snooty-Pants,
That was the best night of my life! We'll have to find a way to have tea again sometime. Somehow. Just remember what I said, 'kay? We all kill, we just need to have our reasons. I don't suggest you do any more killing until you've found yourself. Maybe this could be more. Maybe. Bye, hun!
-Temari
Kakuzu closed his eyes. No. He wouldn't let this die.