A/N: Guess what, I'm not dead! 8D
Life's been busy for me lately, so sorry. . Enjoy the crappy, written-in-one-hour-because-the-idea-kept-on-poking-my-brain angsty crap! X3
Everyone had started to act differently around him after the incident. It was barely there, the difference, but it was there. Naruto had a feeling that even they themselves didn't notice it.
It wasn't what they said to him or did for him, because they didn't say anything or ask if he needed help, for fear of upsetting or offending him. It was the way their eyes would linger on him when they thought he wasn't looking, as if they were just waiting for him to snap, to lose it, so that they'd be there for him.
Naruto was not one to lie to himself, he hated it when people lied to themselves. He knew that Sasuke's abandonment of Konoha had left him with a hole in his heart, he didn't deny it. The closest he'd ever had to a brother had pushed him aside for something as shallow and disgustingly raw as revenge. But that didn't mean everyone else had to know just how much it hurt him. Naruto, along with everybody else, knew that there was only one way that that hole, that abyss of newfound loneliness and sorrow, could be filled. But no one even dared to say it aloud.
After leaving the hospital, Naruto had gone straight home. He bumped into some familiar faces, Shikamaru and Temari walking together; Ino with a bouquet of flowers; Shino, Kiba and Hinata eating together. He'd smiled at all of them and tell them how he couldn't wait to get home after so long so that no long conversations rose. When he'd smile, his eyes would shut, hiding the agony and loneliness that lurked in them, so no one would ask questions or be concerned.
He had many burdens already, one more wouldn't hurt.
The moonlight painting the town blue streaked through an open window as the blond nin sat cross legged on his bed, a silhouette against the pale light. The framed photo of Team seven held loosely and delicately in his hands. His watery eyes never leaving printed raven hair or onyx eyes.
"Why? Sasuke..."
His voice sounded as broken as his heart was. He couldn't bear it any more, everything simply crashed around him, shattering like ceramic, he swore he could hear it happening.
His right arm wasn't his when he gripped the picture and flung it across the room, splintering wood and breaking glass.
A scrunched chin, leaking eyes and wrinkled nose. Nobody could see him like this. Nobody.
He finally fell asleep with crusty cheeks and a sore throat.
The next day, he walked up to Sakura in the street, hugged her and hoisted her up, twirling around before setting her down again. She'd yelped and punched his shoulder for doing such a rash thing. He simply grinned and mock-complained about not seeing her for so long. She'd retorted back that she'd visited him just yesterday. Before Naruto could think of a comeback, Kakashi appeared. Naruto swore to the deceased Kages the man looked tired.
That day, they ate at Ichiraku's and stayed there all day, almost all of Naruto's friends at least passed by, knowing he was out of the hospital and would most certainly be there. He'd noticed the strange looks they gave him when he grinned his tailor-made grin and shouted their names like he hadn't seen them in years when it had only been weeks for only some of them. He had a feeling he heard Kiba say something along the lines of "He's taking this all far too well,". The statement only made Naruto make sure he grinned even more.
The happiness that Naruto felt was only skin deep, everything inside him ached. At least once, he'd forgotten what had happened and would search for him, for a back adorned with royal blue and the Uchiha crest and his ears listened for a characteristic 'hn'. His throat knotted when he'd remember what happened.
He felt everyone's tension, the way they were careful with their words and side stepped conversations to do with anything that could be even remotely Sasuke related. Naruto didn't know weather to be grateful or not.
The sky started slowly merge from blue to his favourite colour and red. The few people that stuck around, Kiba, Shino, Neji and Ino along with Sakura and Kakashi started to part ways. After thanking Teuchi and Ayame, the remainder of Team Seven walked together until Sakura left them to run down her own street. It had been silent the whole time, but not awkward. None of them wanted to talk.
Naruto paused as he waited for Kakashi to race away. The only sound he was greeted with was the wind rustling leaves and swinging of creaking lanterns. He turned to Kakashi, he eyes lowered shamefully to the ground.
"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei."
The silver haired man didn't reply, instead, Naruto's answer was an affectionate ruffling of his blond locks. He looked up nervously at his teacher to see a smiling eye.
"It's not your fault, Naruto. If you couldn't have done it, no one could have."
The knot came up again and his chin scrunched up again, but he grinned all the same.
"Thanks, Kakashi-sensei." he didn't believe the masked nin, but he wouldn't show it...
Before he could even completely compose himself, Kakashi was already gone. He was glad. As he stood there alone, he let his tears escape.
By the time he was back at the apartment, the knot had only grown and the tears seemed never ending. He had luckily only passed by cats and the occasional shop-keeper just starting to close up. He fell right onto his bed and lay there staring at the ceiling.
Finally, his turned his head to the right, his shining eyes staring at the photo, unharmed and surrounded by dots and lines of red-orange light reflected from the glass by the setting sky.
Sakura's blushing cheeks and smile; his own unamused, jealousy-darkened face and his bored, 'can I go now' expression. With a strained and smiling eye above them all.
Naruto sat up and reached over picking up the picture.
'Would people have acted like this if I left?'
Naruto wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to that.
A/N: Perhaps I should explain myself....
A dear friend of mine (like a brother :3) once told me that I was a lot like Naruto Uzumaki in many ways. And not just the trivial things such as we're both blond and have blue eyes and all that crap. Anyways, since he told me that, this idea drifted into my idea cloud and wouldn't go away, so when I finished my studying for the night tonight, I dribbled it out.
Once again, sorry for the long absence and the crappy thing I come back with. D:
Until then, eat your vegetables, people.