The words turned her world from bright and innocent full of hope in the air to darken shades of monochrome. Fortunately for Emma, there was still a lingering light still flickering in the distance. Although Archie had only been her family for a short time, he was always around and she never would be able to fathom a world without him. The only other person Emma couldn't; stand to lose was Sean. Tracker went to a Biking Convention Event outside of town leaving Sean alone that night but he didn't really expect company. Sean wasted no time he spent the time after school sitting cross-legged on the couch playing video games nowhere to be seen when she was told something sure to shatter her, but he won't be in the dark for long.
"Emma, could you sit down with me?" Spike called out from the living room as she heard Emma come in right after school. She was sort of blindsided. From the sound of her voice she sounded as if she had cried. Emma knew that her mom knew. It was just surreal, her mom had a way about her when she knew something was wrong.
Emma walked in the corridor of the room and sat beside her on the couch. Spike wasn't wearing a sitch of make up, her cropped hair was disheveled as if she had just rolled out of bed or been sitting around for a time, as if she hadn't left the couch.
"He's sick." She replied tearing up, spewing words, "I'm too young be a widow. I just became a mother - for the second time."
"Mom . . " Emma replied helplessly unable to say anything profound, she rubbed her moms back, "He told me, I-sort of walked in on the call, outside school."
Her mom was silent for a time, and then turned to Emma who was noticeably upset and affected by it. Snake went to the doctor after the phone call and then Emma found out after the call and then Spike got the call that changed everything. "I was worried he was just suffering head colds, flues and fevers not full-blown cancer." She got up off the couch and attempted to offer a wry smile changing the subject with some half-hearted question, "What do you want for dinner."
It was more than obvious that she wasn't hungry, but it wasn't for a lack of trying.
Uncomfortably, the teen shrugged before looking to her mom, "I'm really not hungry. Don't worry about me."
"You're not?" Spike asked in surprise.
"Big lunch, and I figured it's nice out I could go for a run, run into Manny hopefully she wouldn't mind coming with."
"Are you sure, honey?" She asked, sympathetically.
Don't cry, Emma cracked a fake smile nearing the door, pushing her way out, pushing tears in her eyes by looking up, mentally saying Don't you dare cry, "Never better."
She knew she had to get out of there with tears in her eyes, choking on the darkness, sadness depressing news. Emma started at a jog, sprang into a sprint and started running the moment she hit the pavement to Sean's house. She just knew she needed him then, she knew he would know what to say, how to make it feel right at least temporarily. Sean makes Emma feel happy, even at her worst. She never thought she could find someone who would be there for the worst of times as well as the good times. Most people don't find that into their twenties, but not Emma she knew that Sean was special.
When she arrived, she immediately knocked on the door catching her breath. She hadn't run like hell in a long time. She and Manny hadn't really been all that close since Manny started dating Sully. Emma doesn't think much of him, he's pretty much into the trivial, he's a jerk and treats Manny like a piece of ass. He makes her feel uncomfortable because sometimes he tries to flirt with her but she shoves him away. She is not attracted to him either, even if he's an upperclassmen doesn't mean she'd spend time with people who respect her. That was the last time she ran like hell, when Emma vented to Manny and Manny decided that maybe they shouldn't hang out anymore with Sully so Emma will naturally see less of her best friend Manny. She enjoyed running but not when it made her feel like the wind had been knocked out of her. She waited for about fifteen more seconds and she started to grow impatient, and ran his doorbell again. Sean finally answered the door, he was wearing a plain white tee and a pair of gray sweatpants, needless to say he was surprised to see her, he had that confused look on his face when Emma catches him off guard. Without a word Emma threw her arms around him and let out a sob. Sean reluctantly draped his arms around hers and walked backwards as she tightened her hold and grip noticeably crying out. It was more than obvious she couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sean was silent for a few moments but he whispered quietly and worriedly, "What is it?"
Emma slowly pulled away avoiding his eyes for a few moments to find the words to describe the feeling of ominous thoughts, the feeling helplessness that just won't go away. She awkwardly scoffed, sniffling, "So at the fundraiser after school I found out that Snake - Mr. Simpson is sick."
Sean was taken back by the news, he offered softly, "What? Come here, It'll be okay, Emma.I just know it. Mr. Simpson is a fighter, I've seen him go to bat for me." He pulled her into a hug back into the crook of his neck.
"Will it?" She asked rhetorically, clearly it's been weighing on her the thought of his mortality, what Sean doesn't know is Mr. Simpson is more than just a teacher to Emma, she'd known Snake all her life. He's her mother's high school friend. Whenever her mom would get together with Joey or Caitlin or Lucy, Archie would always come along but never did anyone think Spike and Snake going down the aisle; that whole bit was unexpected.
Sean didn't want to see her like this, because he cares about her and he has no idea what to say. He'd never experienced something like this before, it hurt him though that Mr. Simpson because he was the only teacher that ever gave a damn about him. Although adding to that, Emma intimidates him, in a good way she makes him uneasy about what he wants to say and how she would take it. He wanted to let her know that he felt for her and wanted to help her but he didn't know what to do. He wanted to be supportive but he didn't know how, sometimes it's hard for him to do something simple such as talk, he fears that he'd upset her for not being open enough. He places his hands on her shoulders jolting her attention and pulls her closer looking into her eyes, "He has to get through this, he will get through this. Understand?" Sean has to be strong for her, because he knows she relies on him for things like that. Not the big things, the little things and it's the little things that count.
Emma pulled away, "He's going to die. No one survives this, it's so serious. How do you know?"
"I know he's a fighter." Sean replied, "I know that you guys won't let that happen. He'll have his family and friends to help him."
"It takes the fight out of you, Sean don't you see?" She asked still in tears, she covered her face but it was no use, he'd already seen. It was the first time he'd ever seen her cry, and truthfully he hated it because when she's crying, when anybody cries he feels helpless because all he wants them to do is stop.
Sean feels more than he lets on, so he was hurting as much as she was but she simply felt more than alone in that. He unexpectedly took her hand in his, "Emma look at me."
She looked up at him and winced before he asked, "Do you remember when you came to me saying everything was ruined or hopeless?"
"Which time?" She asked somewhat humored by the question, in truth she had often come to him in times of trouble, it was something Sean struggled to tell himself. When trouble arises with him, he walks a mile in the shoes Emma wears today. Seeing mortality for what it is, that's something he could have seen himself not being able to handle, but Emma? She could handle anything, she's a warrior, a crusader but she needs him now to be strong.
"You see my point, then." Sean replied, "What did I tell you then?"
She remembered one time, one time in particular. It was before the wedding, she came to invite him, apologize and all but she also went for his help. She was glad that she did, "It'll all work out, that I'll see. I just don't think it fits this time."
"What do you think, then?"
"I don't know." She whined, "I'm terrified and I just know one thing, that I need you."
His face softened, she often made him soften up she was in all accounts the only person to ever reduce him into a pile of mush and she was the only person he'd ever imagine showing that side of him to. He slowly and carefully, and perhaps a bit awkwardly kissed her forehead. It was exactly how he felt. He didn't just want her around, he felt better when she was around, he needed her around too. She makes him feel like a better person, not the product of screw ups and alcoholics but a new person, a changed person. She feels it too.
He'd seen a scene like that in a film they watched before. He didn't feel it was right to kiss her kiss her. Not just yet, not while she's reeling, not while she's hurting. She didn't move, she stayed so she was okay with it. She didn't protest like she normally does when he tries to be affectionate, in reality she doesn't really have a clue what she does to him. She welcomed him, she wanted him to be there for her, be her boyfriend and she wanted him to know that he was the first person she thought of when the day began and the last person she thinks of when she's under the covers ready for sleep. Every little thing she does fills him with wonder, he wished that he could put that feeling in words to quantify. He always internally vows that nothing could tear them apart this time, that it won't be like before. He means that, whole halfheartedly. He wanted to not cross the line, but still gesture that he's there for her.
Instead of her protesting, she invited that. She looked up again, and kissed him back, cupping her face in his hands not pulling away this time, and then she slowly pulled away again, biting down on her lips, "Thanks for listening."
"Anytime." He replied. He backtracked to sit on the couch and offered her a seat his eyes never left her, "I uh - you want to sit? We could watch a movie . . we don't have cable."
She smiled as if her problems were suddenly free, "I'd like that."
She made her way to the shelf to see the meager assortment of films, mostly action and comedy probably belonging to Tracker, there were about ten or fifteen or so films on the shelf most of which Sean and Emma had already gone through the 'good ones'. The typical guys-guy movies like Terminator, Rocky, Scarface, Fast and the Furious, and a new one oddly enough A Walk to Remember seemed to magically appear on the shelf. At least it wasn't there when she came over last time. Sean has some explaining to do.
"Didn't think you were into romance." She inquired while she picked up the DVD and looked at him with a raised brow asking for an explanation.
"When it was in the movies you wanted to see it, I overheard you talk to Manny about it - she said she wanted to see it to but apparently her dad didn't let her go and you didn't get to go. Obviously we weren't on speaking terms and I technically over heard, then I saw it in the store and I got it for when you wanted to watch it when you come over." He paused for a moment, "I watch movies when I'm sad."
A smile played on her lips, "You're so great, of course I would. You know me so well."
"See, we totally have things in common." She jokingly replied as she put the movie in the DVD player and Sean turned the movie on. He tapped the seat beside him and Sean draped his arm over the couch, by proxy around her but he was simply waiting for the right time. She also knew Sean Cameron had no real business in watching a love story. Typically their movie dates would result in impromptu make out sessions, half way through a movie they lose interest or end up talking or get distracted with the arrival of pizza which he plans to order in due time. Together they sit on the couch his arm around her, her head on his shoulder.
Sean rarely watches the movies either he'd seen them thousands of times in this case he knew he wouldn't like the subject romance. Why watch a romance when he had one in his hands? As the movie progressed he'd glance over at Emma and notice her beam as she'd watch the love story unfold, and Sean knew it was bound to end horribly. A lot of it was too good to be true, she turned to him in hushed whisper, "When did you know?"
"Know what?" He asked, taking his attention away from the movie and to Emma.
"That you liked me." She asked reaching for his hand and then looking back up at him.
He sheepishly shook his head combing his hands through his short hair, before turning to her, "I uh, wow, I guess it was when you told everyone you got your period and you didn't give a crap what anyone had to say. It showed you had guts." He added, "I like that you have guts."
She blushed, and wordlessly returned to the movie. Emma thought for a moment and then confessed, "I liked that you didn't want everyone to know who you are, like how refreshing to be a blank slate. You said no, most new kids you know would go along and say something like I grew up on a farm, but not you." She turned back around to face him, "You just said no. And that's when I knew. That I'd be seeing you."
That day would live in infamy, Sean's first day back at Degrassi. It wasn't his first day ever there, he'd been there a year before except this time it wasn't really his choice. He felt pretty abandoned by his parents in fact, they woke him up one day and Tracker picked him up. Sean thought that the first time he lived in Degrassi it would be a temporary thing and he'd never return, he just never expected that he would return and when he did that he would stay. He wasn't exactly happy because he lost his year and had to start over. He had to be reminded of that by his so-called friend Jimmy Brooks. The first time he lived in town people respected him in his silence, he didn't talk and that's how he sort of had an in with Jimmy, but that he was held back made him a social pariah but no one knew why.
At the school he attended in Wasaga Beach it wasn't like their school. Not much money, not a lot of resources and supplies and in a rough area Sean struggled in school. In Degrassi he was seen as some intimidating toughy but in Wasaga he got picked on by a small group of upperclassmen, among the three guys the worst was Tyler Bishop. Returning, he couldn't help but see Jimmy as the enemy Tyler was. Sean had been sort of expelled from the middle school for fighting back, and by fighting back. What Sean dreaded the most about returning to Degrassi is that somehow eventually his looming past would come to light and threaten to destroy his chances at a new start. And then he met Emma Nelson and his mind was forever changed. He knew that he probably wasn't good enough for her, but she showed him kindness. In the years that followed she showed him love or what he feels to be love.
Sean hopelessly changed the subject offering, "You want popcorn?" He stood up and turned up in the kitchen.
"That would be nice." She paused the movie and joined him in the kitchen, leaning against the wall. Sean took out two Cokes placing them in the counter, then he retrieved the popcorn from the cabinet. She jokingly added, "Let's not forget about the popcorn."
"I know, right?" He replied as he turned his attention back to her, laughing "I'm so glad you came here tonight."
Silence fell over them not an awkward silence but an observing one, she looked to him, "I have really strong feelings for you." She paused and he turned his head to face her, a beam landed across his face at the thought.
"And, what kind of feelings would they be?" He asked curiously, "I have strong feelings for you too, Em."
She slowly walked toward him playing with her hands, "Just feelings, I know the words I just - I'm not sure if I'd scare you."
"Like love?" He asked, before adding, "Nothing you could say would scare me though."
She avoided his eyes nervously as he called her bluff, but eventually looked back up at him, "Why you ask?"
He scoffed, "Well I'm sure Manny told you how I feel about it."
She didn't want to say out right, but she eventually hinted confirming inaudibly that he was along the lines on the right track, "It's mutual."
"Well then, I think you should know then, how I feel."
"And how do you feel?" She asked still smiling, closed-lipped.
"It's hard for me," He paused, I guess the best way to describe it is happy." He asked, "Because you came here to me. You know you can, I'll be there for you no matter what. Any time. You can depend on me. Always, and no matter what happens I'll always have your back."
"Isn't that what love feels like?" She asked him pretty seriously.
"That's how I see it." Sean replied combing her gold-colored hair behind her ear, he liked when he could see her face without it in her face.
"So do I." She replied their faces just inches apart, they were just now realizing the close proximity, his hand lingering hanging by that very moment it a real moment. It felt as if they were really going somewhere.
She rested her forehead on his, and he on hers, at this rate they were about to kiss before the microwave sounded and Sean opened up the popcorn bag letting the aroma of butter permeate the room it was hot to the touch, he gave her a popcorn. A moment interrupted after they were done with the popcorn they went back to the movie as Sean carried the large bowl. He poured the bag in the bowl, tossed the bag on the coffee table, and then he placed the bowl in the space in the couch between them.
She turned to look at him once they sat back down, she paused a moment and then reached for his hand which he took, "I love you."
He squeezed her hand tight and in response he replied, "I love you too." She then stood up and kissed him, and then he kissed her back ignoring the film playing in the background. The kiss deepened and then he pulled away, she rested her head on his shoulder, and enveloped her arms around him. Sean lifted up the remote unable to wipe a stupid smile from his lips, and neither could she. She loved him, and he loved her, they believed they could get through anything and suddenly she wasn't so scared anymore.