Chapter 1 – Watashi (I, me)
"Yuuta!" Voices call out to me, beckoning me to return. So many voices I've known for so long, all standing behind me as I grew. I hear them now, in this dark nothingness that surrounds me. Slowly, something catches my attention; maybe it is my sisters coming to wake me when I have slept for too long. The thought fills me with warmth, but something feels off. No, that can't be right. I was – pain, fear, nothingness – I was shot.
Now I recognize the noise that draws my attention. It is the obnoxious, constant beeping I cannot ignore. It is near and distant, like traffic through a thick window. The repetitive noise is something that seems oddly familiar, that has been there the whole time I wondered in this dark void. I wonder why I didn't notice it before. My thoughts slips away, what was I thinking again? I don't remember. What should I be thinking? It can't be important – I was shot, I remember now.
Is this my death? It is cold, my throat has closed. I cannot open my eyes and I only feel coldness about me. Is this how we die? Is this the way to the underworld where we wait before our Buddhist purification in death? I do not know, perhaps maybe I'll just spend the time before my cleansing in remembrance. Yes, that sounds good. Maybe then I can forget the cold.
"Jeeze, what is this place?" Young Yuuta asked as he walked into the secret room found by the towering yellow robot, McCrane, behind a bio-research facility on the far outskirts of Nanamagari City. The nine-year-old boy walked between the feet of several massive robots that were his best friends and, humorously, his underlings into the dark, chilled room. There, lying in wait in a frozen capsule lay something out of history – Gawan the man made dinosaur.
His breath misted, and shivering, he huddled into himself wishing he had more than his long yellow t-shirt and blue jeans for warmth. He wanted to stand close to his friends as he would his sisters, but he knew their metal bodies got cold faster than his did.
That experience taught me how much I hated the cold, especially if it was not winter. It's not winter, right? Could it be snowing? No – I heard cicadas when the shot hit me. Yes, it was hot out, a record breaker.
"Yuuta!" Deckerd called looking worriedly for his 'boss', the boy who had given him his heart. The school had lined up for a fire drill, but the boy was not with his class. Worried Deckerd and Power Joe scoured the campus finding Yuuta facing an assassin bot. The boy stood unarmed in the gymnasium, tear stained and terrified yet still the boy managed to run – and survive.
They saved me then. Why didn't they save me now?
"An officer of the law does not cry to be saved! Yuuta! There are no tears, no whining in the force. You do what is needed, whatever is needed." Sergeant Yamamoto raged as he pushed the recent high school grad through training. The boy had been given a blessing, on the job training for eight years while he finished school. Now, just graduated and facing obstacles he had never expected Yuuta found himself exhausted and alone, especially when he was scared.
I had followed my training. Others were in danger and I had to do whatever it took to keep the city safe. This time that meant using myself as bait without telling the others. Without telling the very beings that were best suited to keeping me alive. My sisters would say it was a selfless act. I'm not sure.
"Boss!" The assorted robots of the Brave Police force stood and grinned as Yuuta entered their gargantuan sized headquarters filled with bot-sized desks and chairs. Before them stood the fully grown Yuuta, now nineteen and fresh out of basic police training. He stood taller than ever, and his new short haircut made him suddenly mature. To the last the Brave Police squad was proud of Boss.
"You look great!" Power Joe cheered, dimming his optic roguishly and earning a self-conscious blush from the young human. Yuuta finally dropped his stiff attention stance and grinned up at his friends, his lean face dimpling with his enthusiasm.
"Thanks guys! My basic training is complete so I can resume taking cases with you. Now, I have my own gun and bullet proof vest." Yuuta tapped his chest proudly, letting his robot friends hear the heavy padding beneath his touch. Despite his glowing pride, Yuuta had kept quiet about his assurances to his commanders that he would never distract the robots from their duties if he could handle the situation on his own.
That worked out great I got shot below the vest and in the shoulder just beside it. I know whatever happened was messy. I should have died instantly. Didn't I?
"Yuuta!" I feel pain, groggy and achy and somewhere between exhausted and sick. I hate this feeling already. My eyes, how can eyes be so heavy? When they finally crack open enough I can see my sisters leaning over me. Azuki and Kurumi have both come home. Azuki, is still glowing after her marriage to Kashiwazaki and Kurumi is dressed in a sequin encrusted dress that shines like diamonds.
I pause as I take in the flamboyant yet almost revealing dress on my middle sister. "Did I miss the release?" My voice comes out so scratchy I can barely recognize it, but my sisters, after years of raising me and seeing me half asleep have no such trouble.
"They called me just afterwards. I came straight here. Oh, Yuuta," She presses her face into her hands with new delicacy, ensuring the makeup she wears for her first movie release as the starring actress somehow manages not to smear with her tears. "What were you thinking!" She suddenly screeches, making my ears ring and adding to the already overwhelming num ache I feel all over.
I flinch, I had expected praise for my bravery, remorse for my selflessness, but I had never expected to get yelled at. "My job." I rasp back, and realize that I have snapped at them as their eyes blaze warningly at me. Despite facing criminals, aliens and giant monsters, I am more terrified of my sisters now than I was ever of any challenge I have faced ever before.
"No," Azuki broke in fiercely holding the wrath only eldest sisters could claim. They were scary, sisters, when they're mad. "Your job is to protect the people, stop threats that could harm them, and to let your partners know when you're going to do something stupid!"
I gaped; Azuki never raises her voice. She has always been accused of being too soft, and kind hearted. "But," I try to protest yet no words come out of my moving lips. I've rarely been completely speechless, but now I am. The meds I'm on are making me lightheaded, I can't breathe. Whatever this feeling is I don't like it.
Then the tears fall and for the first time in eleven years I cry. I had forgotten the stinging that comes to the eyes and the tightness in the throat that feels as if you're being suffocated. It has been so long since I last cried, more than half my lifetime ago. Now that I am bawling my eyes out like a little child I realize I had been dumb. I was told never to cry, never to beg to be saved, but I had gone against my training to always keep my partners involved and informed of my actions.
I could have spoken to Deckerd over the radio that I had a way to play the scared rabbit. I should have told my superiors I intended to use myself as bait, to have the others fire on the perps. Now, now my sisters are holding me close like when I was a kid as I sob into their shoulders. They have always been there for me. Despite being much taller than either of them they still make me feel like a child, and right now I'm grateful to be comforted so. To once more be the little brother I had to stop being when I became Boss to the Bots.
All too soon the doctors come in, overlook my tearstained face and check me over. I was lucky they say, it could have been much worse they say. Somehow the bullets had passed right through me hitting fleshy areas free of major nerves, blood vessels or arteries. I was saved from bone fragments hitting internal organs or bullet fragments piercing something vital.
"Young man, this could have been much worse," the doctor intones heavily raising his hand as I move to speak, "I do not mean you could have died. There are worse things than death." He locks eyes with me and I shudder at the horrors hidden behind his eyes. Horrors tinged with regret and pity. "One of them being paralyzed completely, or losing your mental functions to be a healthy, vibrant body with a vegetative mind, or perhaps worst of all to have your perfectly functioning mind trapped in a motionless body. You are lucky, you will recover. You will need physical therapy to regain your full strength, but you will recover. You are not a robot like your unit, you cannot be replaced, piece by piece and come out whole."
I swallow thickly as he speaks, remembering all the times I had been saved, all the injuries others had taken and how easily the Brave Police were repaired when legs or internal components were damaged.
"I know, and I am grateful."
The doctor nods, then leaves the room, leading my sisters away to speak in private. Being alone in this white room with my mind here, in the present I realize that I am scared. I want Deckerd. I want Power Joe and all the others here towering over me, letting me know with their humming electrical systems and buzzing hydraulics that they will keep me from harm.
Another thought hits me, suddenly making me chill further from merely chilled to thoroughly frozen to the pit of my soul: What will happen to the Brave Police when I die? They can be kept alive so long as their core systems remain functioning – theoretically those can even be swapped to completely different bodies, their power cores even being replaceable as long as they are on the proper support equipment during the procedure. This time I will live, but what about next time?
My mind wanders, I am tired but too afraid to let myself sleep. A year ago a fellow police recruit had been hit by a car, he had died instantly. I had been sad, then, thinking that I would never see him again. Now, though I am terrified. I could die crossing the street, going for a swim, get trampled during an earthquake or washed away by the many hurricanes and tsunami that hit Japan. When I die, what will happen to my friends? Who will step in when I am no longer there? Will they be shut down? Terminated? Will they be frozen like Gawan had been in capsules of ice? Would they be resurrected centuries in the future? Or left frozen waiting, in uncertain silence for all eternity?
The thoughts keep my mind reeling, making me tremble further while the machine next to me begins chiming in alarm as my heart races and panic makes breathing next to impossible. I ignore the machine, uncaring of its cries. It was just a machine, but my friends were living robots with only me and the Superintendent General to speak for them. Should I die before I wake…
The old prayer I had heard from too many American movies runs through my mind filled with a dire promise chilling me further still. Should I lie back down to sleep would I die before I wake? Suddenly dizziness envelopes me, I realize I'm gasping for air as nurses rush into the room, all speaking loudly and calling for a doctor. I want to say I'm fine, that I was just scared for a moment but I still cannot breath and the world begins to go grey. The sound of popcorn popping fills my ears and pockets of blackness fill my vision with its sound. Black popcorn that eats the world, the mental image almost makes me giggle, maybe it does –
"What happened?" Azuki asked with tear filled eyes as doctors and nurses surrounded her brother's pale, still body once more unconscious.
"He had an anxiety attack; it is common for those with such trauma to suffer shortly after regaining consciousness." Doctor Yamazuki spoke gently as he kept an eye on the siblings. "He will need to be with others more than usual, and do not leave him alone when he returns home."
"But, he doesn't live at home anymore!" Azuki sobbed, "He lives in police housing with the Brave Police."
"Then he will need to be welcomed home for a while. The police have enough to take care of without tending your brother's recovery." Warm brown eyes watched the sisters kindly, hoping he could make the mismatched pair see that this was in their little brother's best interests.
"We understand," Kurumi replied, stepping up when her elder sister began to hiccup from the worry and tears. "I will come home too, that way you will not be alone Azuki." The shorter of the sisters nodded softly as she hiccupped and wept wishing her husband was with her.
"Very well. Yuuta will need to remain here for a few more days before he can go home. His injuries did not cause an overt amount of damage, but he still is in a delicate position. Too much movement can reopen his wounds." Once more the sisters nodded then slowly left the room entrusting the doctors and medical staff with their little brother.
It's cold again. Once more the first thing I remember is Gawan, but I come back to myself more readily than when I first woke up. Now, though I wonder what had happened. I know I blacked out but I cannot remember why. I move to shrug and realize it's not a good idea as agony rips through me, making me whimper.
"Good, you are awake." A warm voice reaches my ears, I open my eyes from the pain and look at the speaker noticing my room for the first time and the older man who looks like a doctor. I want to believe that he is, but too many events with the brave police have taught me not to judge a person by their appearances.
"Yes, doctor." I reply casting my eyes over the white room with its empty white beds and white machinery lying in wait to be of use. I see the white privacy curtains and the doctor's white coat, white clipboard with white paper and suddenly wonder if I am going mad from the lack of color in the room.
"I am Doctor Yamazuki, do you know where you are? Or your name?" I look at him for a moment in utter confusion before I remember one of my training courses had mentioned memory loss when a victim suffers a traumatic experience. It is humbling to realize that in this situation I am that victim.
"Yes doctor, I am in a hospital, but I'm not sure which one. I am Officer Tomonaga Yuuta, first year graduate of the police academy, Boss of the Brave Police squad. I have two older sisters, Azuki recently was married and Kurumi just had her first movie released." I fill in with a small smile for my sisters. They are happy in their lives, and I am happy for them. I hope someday soon I will become an uncle.
"Very good, now, do you know why you are in the hospital?" Doctor Yamazuki asks me as he shines a light in my eyes that stings and makes them water. I want to blink and squirm away but it would not be polite, besides, I remind myself, he's just doing his job.
"I was doing my job stupidly." I reply with a rasping huff of exasperation for my own idiocy. "I was making myself bait to lure several criminals from a heavily populated area so my partners could focus on rescuing the civilians. It might have been a good idea but I failed to inform them and got shot – repeatedly."
"I am pleased to hear your memory is fully intact, and to know you will live to learn from your mistake. However, do not be too hard on yourself. I actually must thank you. My daughter was at the university when the Nobunaga gang attacked. She was nearly crushed by debris when they fired on the main building. If not for you and the Brave Police she would be dead."
I look at the doctor in shock, I had barely engaged the Nobunaga gang as part of the Defense Squad, and yet the doctor was thanking me – for getting shot. For a second it made no sense, but then suddenly it made perfect sense with aching clarity. I had been there, I had tried to lure the men in their giant combat suits away and maybe I had made a difference in the outcome.
Doctor Yamazuki only knows that I am a human face. I was there to see that his daughter survived the attack. Maybe that was all that anyone needed, to feel safe knowing a human who tried to help a loved one.
Humans are social creatures and for many it is hard to see the Brave Police as anything but terrifyingly massive robots with huge weapons. Others outside of the force would see the violence humans in mech suits caused and expect worse should any of the bots suffer a programming glitch. Despite the years the Brave Police had served Nanamagari City people still saw machines wielding weapons that were controlled by human police officers.
Machines have made our lives better and safer. Thanks to our machines and improving technology machines in hospitals saved lives. Machines in industry made our products cheaper and more efficient. But gangs, terrorists and others have used machines to cause crime and destruction. Sometimes it is easier to speak to someone of your own kind. This, I assume, is why Doctor Yamazuki thanks me.
"You are welcome, but it would mean a lot if Deckerd and the others could hear it from you. Would you mind talking to them as well when I am released?"
For a moment worry bordering on fear clouds the doctor's face and I am positive he will refuse.
"I – I mean no disrespect, but they look too much like the machines that nearly killed my daughter. I am not comfortable speaking to them, but Yukio is desperate to thank her saviors. If it is alright, I will bring her and we can thank them together." The doctor give a brave, wan smile to me.
I smile, and I know my eyes are shining like a little kid's. It makes me happy when my friends get the recognition they deserve. Too many have thanked the human police while shunning Deckerd and the others just because they are machines. They have hearts, just as we do and they respond to kindness similarly. I nod my thanks and the doctor can only leave the room at a fast walk, fleeing from me and the promise he just made.