ENVY'S BODYGUARD
Envy was on tour in New York. One night at one of her concerts, a group of 30 fans came up on to the stage and ran towards her. Had it not been for security to stop the mob, Envy would've been eaten alive. The concert stopped because the mob was getting too violent. They were upset that they didn't get a piece of Envy. So a riot started. Security had to escort Envy outside the concert and into her limo. Envy burst into tears and cried on the way home.
That night, Envy's friend Franka came to her mansion to comfort her.
"You need a body guard." said Franka.
"No way." said Envy. "Bodyguards cost too much money. I don't wanna waste my money on a body guard."
"Those people almost tore you apart. Do you want this to happen again?" asked Franka.
Envy shook her head and said "Alright. I'll get a bodyguard. But a cheap one."
Envy's manager found her a bodyguard. A handsome, ripped young man called Roland. He was only two years older than Envy and was very laid back. Roland had a martial arts background, so he was perfect for Envy's bodyguard.
The manager told him "Now there are 5 rules to being Envy Adams' bodyguard: 1. Don't flirt with her. 2. Don't call her by her real name. 3. Don't speak to her unless you're spoken too. 4. You cannot use any of her equipment or eat any of her food. And 5. Do not talk about how pretty other women are in front of her. Is that clear?"
"Crystal, baby." said Roland.
However, he didn't look like he was listening at all. Envy met Roland, and she offered him the spare room, which looked very cheap and small. But Roland didn't care.
"I'm the bodyguard to the HOTTEST chick on the planet!" He thought to himself. "Natalie better watch out, because I'll make her mine."
The next morning, Envy was in the shower. She was minding her own business until she noticed that Roland was in the bathroom watching her. He was holding bottles of shampoo and bodywash in his hands. Envy shrieked.
"Good morning, Ms Adams." said Roland with a big smile on his face.
"GET OUT!" cried Envy. "DON'T LOOK AT ME!"
"Why?" asked Roland.
"BECAUSE I'M NAKED!" screamed Envy.
"Doesn't bother me." said Roland. "Besides, I'm a bodyguard and it's my duty to guard your body."
"WELL, I DON'T WANT ANYONE SEEING ME NAKED!" cried Envy.
"But you have a great body." said Roland. "Everyone should see it."
"GET OUT OR YOU'RE FIRED!" shouted Envy.
"Alright." said Roland as he left.
But then he came back in again.
"What should I do?" he asked.
"I DUNNO! JUST GET OUT AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!" screamed Envy.
She was absolutely furious. Roland shrugged his shoulders and left.
After Envy finished her shower, she walked down the corridor in a dressing gown. She was in a bad mood. Then she looked out of the window and got the shock of her life. From outside, she saw Roland swimming in her pool naked. She ran outside and started shouting at him.
"ROLAND!"
Roland got out of the pool and Envy covered her eyes.
"Yes, baby?" he asked. "What are you looking away for?"
"Put your clothes on." said Envy.
"Baby, I saw you naked, so you should see me naked. It's fair." said Roland.
"Did you pay attention to the rules? Rule Number 4: Don't use my equipment." said Envy.
"But I like your equipment." said Roland staring at her body.
Envy looked at him in disgust.
"C'mon, take off that robe and join me." said Roland.
Just then Franka arrived and saw Roland in all his glory.
"Oh hello." she said blushing.
"Why hello there." said Roland. "Envy, who's this hot number?"
Envy got... well, envious of Roland calling another girl "Hot."
"This is my friend Franka." she said with her teeth clenched.
"It was my idea for Envy to get a bodyguard." said Franka.
"Well, you're both sexy and smart, Franka." said Roland.
That was it! Envy had enough. She grabbed Roland by the arm and brought him into the house.
"Hey are we going upstairs?" asked Roland.
"RULE NUMBER 5: DON'T TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY OTHER WOMAN ARE IN FRONT OF ME!" she shouted.
"But she is pretty." said Roland.
"NO, SHE IS NOT!" shouted Envy.
"Aw, that'll hurt her feelings. I'm gonna tell her you said that." said Roland.
"You're a bodyguard. Not some flirt machine!" said Envy.
"Hey, I can't help it if I'm irresistible to women." said Roland. "I'm a ladies' man. Always has and always will. By the way, I got a confession to make."
"What is it?" asked Envy.
"I've been an admirer of yours so a long time." answered Roland. "You're the reason I took this job. And don't worry, I'm not a psychotic number 1 fan. I'm just a guy who wants to kick back and have fun. Besides, I'm single. AND I'm only two years older than you."
"Wait a minute. Are you saying that you took this job so that you could be my boyfriend?" asked Envy.
"Uh oh. Busted." said Roland shrugging his shoulder pretending to feel guilty.
Envy just groaned in disgust and walked away.
That night, Envy and Franka were in a diner having burgers and fries.
"The guy is a pain in the ass." said Envy.
"More like a hot piece of ass." said Franka.
"Yeah, well this is all your fault." said Envy.
"How is it my fault?" asked Franka.
"You told me to get a bodyguard and I did. But he breaks all my rules and acts like an asshole." said Envy.
"So it's my fault that you almost got eaten alive by your fans at that concert and I told you to get a bodyguard for protection, who is hot as hell and has abs that you just wanna sink your teeth into." said Franka.
"The guy breaks my rules." said Envy. "He walks around naked, he uses my TV, he plays my arcade machines, he eats my food and he uses my telephone. All that stuff is mine and mine only."
"And you wonder why I'm your only friend." said Franka.
Later, Envy came back to the mansion and she heard some commotion inside. She followed the noise coming from the games room. She went inside and saw that Roland had invited 4 friends; 2 men and 2 girls all playing the arcade machines, snooker and table hockey.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!" screamed Envy.
Roland's friends were so excited. Here is the big star right in front of them.
"Natalie, these are my friends." said Roland.
"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT RULE NUMBER 2? DON'T CALL ME THAT NAME!" shouted Envy.
Roland's friends went up to her very nervously.
"Ms Adams, it's an honour to meet you, ma'am and I just wanna say I'm a big fan of yours." said one of them.
"What did I say about bringing people into the house?" asked Envy.
"You didn't say anything about that." said Roland.
"Did my manager not tell you Rule Number 6?" asked Envy.
"No, he said there were just 5 of them." said Roland.
"That stupid son of a bitch!" said Envy. "Right, you and your friends get out of here! You're fired!"
"But Envy you've got Madison Square Garden tomorrow." said Roland. "Without me, the fans will tear you apart."
"I'll be okay, thank you very much." said Envy. "I don't need some asshole 'bodyguard', who couldn't even guard his own mother, making me look like a moron."
Roland just looked at her and walked out. So did his friends. Envy was just glad to get rid of him.
The next night, Envy and her band performed at Madison Square Garden. It was very big. The show went well, but there was a crowd of 100 fans outside Envy's dressing room. They all started pounding on the door screaming "ENVY! ENVY! ENVY!" The activity was getting more and more intense. They started to punch and kick at the door hoping to knock it down.
Envy and her band were in trouble. Envy was starting to get really scared. Then she noticed a window that was big enough for her. She opened it and got out of the room. The band didn't have to worry because the mob only wanted Envy.
"We're gonna be fine." said one of the band members as they all left the room and made their way to the bar.
Envy was in the underground car park. All she had to do was go to the upstairs car park and get to her limo. But the army of 100 fans had spotted her.
"There she is!" they cried as they all chased after her. Envy tried to run away from the mob, but they were gaining closer and closer. They managed to reach Envy and started to grab her. They started to tear at her dress and pull at her hair. The women in the mob stole her bracelets, her necklace and her ear rings.
Envy screamed "HELP! HELP!" as the mob continued to tear at her dress.
Just then a loud whistle interrupted the mob. They all stopped tearing at Envy's dress to see where the noise came from. It was Roland standing there.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please step away from Ms Adams or I'll have to get nasty."
The mob started to walk over to Roland. They surrounded him, getting ready to attack.
"Very well, then." said Roland.
One man from the mob ran over to Roland holding a drain pipe and Roland just sucker punched him right in the face. The man fell to the ground unconscious.
Then more and more people charged after Roland and he just dodged their attacks and took them all out with a very impressive display of martial arts. He was unstoppable. Envy realized that he was a good bodyguard after well. All 100 members of the mob were lying on the floor unconscious. Roland walked over to a traumatized Envy.
"I'll take you home." he said.
Roland drove Envy home in her limo.
"Thank you for saving me." said Envy. "I never knew what a great bodyguard you were."
"You're welcome." said Roland.
"If you want, you can have your job back." she said.
"Thank you, Ms Adams." said Roland.
"You can call me 'Natalie'." said Envy.
When they got home, Roland filled up a bath for Envy.
"Don't worry, I won't peep on you this time." he said.
He was about to leave until Envy said "Roland, you'll be sleeping in the Guest room."
"But I thought I was in the Guest room." said Roland.
"No." said Envy. "The Guest room is beside mine. I hope you like it."
So Roland entered the Guest room Envy was talking about. It was amazing. It was very big and it had a massive bed. Roland leapt on the bed on his bed and laid on it. It felt great.
The next morning, Roland made Envy breakfast. She really enjoyed it. Roland also turned out as a great cook.
After the meal, she said "I think I'll go for a swim. Care to join me?"
Roland looked at her. "I thought it was against the rules for anyone to use your things."
"Screw the rules." said Envy with a smirk.
So Envy and Roland swam in the pool and had a great time. Then she let Roland watch TV and use the games room. Envy joined him in all his activities. She was having so much fun. She then realised that it was even more fun with a friend. That feeling she had before she let fame go to her head and became a self-centered diva.
Envy also noticed the one thing about Roland beside his laid back personality she loved so much; He was so incredibly handsome. She couldn't stop looking at him. Was she beginning to fall for him?
She then noticed that she felt giddy around him. Like a teenage girl with a crush.
A plan formed in her head.
That night, Envy and Roland were going to bed. Envy asked Roland "Roly, are you good at a massage?"
"I'm very good with my hands." said Roland.
"It's just that my neck feels a bit stiff and I was wondering..." said Envy as she felt her neck.
"Sure." said Roland.
They went into Envy's room. She laid on the bed naked. She had a towel covering her.
"You can take your clothes off too." she said.
Roland stripped down to his boxers. He began massage her neck. Envy moaned with pleasure. Roland couldn't believe it. He was touching the woman he had a crush on for the longest time. As Roland massaged her more, Envy started kissing his arm. And then she made her way up to his shoulder and then to his face. Roland held the back of her head as they both started to make out. Roland then took off his boxers and he and Envy began to have incredible sex.
After an hour of pleasure, they laid in bed holding each other.
"I've been thinking." said Roland.
"What?" asked Envy.
"That you should change your name to 'Viagra' Adams'." answered Roland.
"No, I think 'Envy' is more appropriate." said Envy. "Listen, I wanna take your friends out clubbing tomorrow night. Just to make up to them for kicking them out of the house."
"That's great. They'll be excited." said Roland.
They kissed and started to make love again.
The next day, Envy sent Franka a text message saying "Thank u, babe 4 coming up with the idea to get a bodyguard 4 me."
Franka sent a message back saying "Now U must get me a hot bodyguard!"
That night, Envy took Roland and his friends out clubbing and they all had a great night. Roland's friends forgave Envy for being a real bitch to them. And they all got her to autograph their CD's and have their photos taken with her.
From then on, Envy and Roland had a strong relationship ever since.
Envy took Roland on every tour with her. Roland would be off stage ready to stop a mob of fans. And when 30 fans did get on the stage to chase after Envy, Roland would just stand in front of them and shake his head. And then they would just walk away. But if they didn't, well, you know the answer to that one.
THE END