The Waving Feather

I'm quite sure that this song has been turned into a song-fic before but I just had to give it my two cents too. This story isn't going to be a one-shot, it's going to have a few chapters but it's not going to be a long one either. Basically it is the time after Bella's disastrous birthday party in New Moon, it is written from Edward's point of view. Now I know most people would associate the lyrics with Bella, but for me they have a more Edward vibe and as it's my story so you guys are going to have to deal. Also if you haven't heard this song do yourself a BIG favor and you tube it, you won't be disappointed! Elisa 'Dancing' from her album 'Here comes the Sun'.

I own: A silver bracelet, a purple candle, a crazy cat, and this story.

I do not own: Twilight, its characters or plot or Elisa's 'Dancing'

Time is gonna take my mind

And carry it far away where I can fly

The depth of life will dim my temptation to live for you

If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears

'Cause it's all about love and I know better

How life is a waving feather

I sat staring out my window. The sky was quickly darkening to an inky black and I could smell the intrusion of night on the newly fallen dew. Another day was over, another day closer to the choice, the decision that I was yet to find the courage to make. I sighed and dropped my gaze to my hands, they sat perfectly folded in my lap, the exact way I had positioned them an hour ago. I sucked a deep breath into my lungs and savoured the scents as they rolled over my tongue, one scent in particular sent my senses reeling – her scent.

Two days had passed since Bella's complete failure of a birthday party; true she seemed to have moved on from it already, from the proximity to death she experienced, but I could not bring myself to dismiss it so easily. For me Bella's party was a catalyst, I knew now that something had to change. I had been so selfish in thinking that I could remain with her throughout her life; I still refused to see Alice's vision as a viable option even though I could tell from her thoughts that it was getting stronger every day. If I had been selfish in allowing myself to stay with Bella, making her an immortal would be unforgivably self-serving. I had to fix this and I had to make amends for my conceited actions, perhaps I could do both at once.

I heard Carlisle's thoughts almost as soon as I heard his car's engine.

I wonder if they've heard from Alice and Jasper today. Poor Jasper, he was so upset, he needs to be more patient and realistic in what he expects of himself.

He was incredibly worried for all of his adopted children at the moment and was especially grateful for my understated reaction. In his thoughts he frequently compared my reaction to how he believed he would have felt had it been Esme in mortal danger. Originally he had reasoned that I must have been able to hear that Jasper didn't truly want to harm Bella. I smiled mirthlessly, if only he knew what Jasper had been thinking at that moment, his illusion of Jasper's intent would be quickly shattered. Jasper had been completely dominated by bloodlust and intent on the kill. I knew because his thoughts had pushed me dangerously close to the edge of my own control.

I heard gravel crunch under the tires as Carlisle's car turned onto our driveway, his thoughts had now turned to me.

I cannot believe that Edward was so calm, it is simply not possible. I do not doubt that his level of love and devotion to Bella equals my own to Esme. Something else is going on here, I just can't put my finger on it.

I sighed heavily and exited my room, heading down the hallway and towards Carlisle's study. I could tell that he would want to talk. His footfalls lightly landed up the front stairs and I heard the front door softly creak open and then closed again.

I walked into Carlisle's study and made myself comfortable in the brown leather winged chair facing the mahogany desk. The leather was butter soft under my fingertips as I restlessly drew small circles on the sturdy arms. I had been spending too much time with Bella; I was no longer used to being still. Carlisle opened his study door and examined me without the slightest hint of surprise at my presence in his private space.

"You wanted to talk," I offered as way of explanation.

Carlisle's expression was grim.

What is happening here Edward?

"I don't know what you mean."

Carlisle gave me an extremely unimpressed look, the kind of look that parents give their children when they know they are being blatantly lied to.

"Edward…" There is no sense in lying to me son.

"Carlisle…" I rather impetuously countered.

If you wish me to speak aloud and make the entirety of this conversation open for all ears then please continue to act as the seventeen year old you impersonate.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I didn't want to have this particular conversation out loud. It felt like the beginning of a particularly nasty mess that I would rather not have played out in front of my entire family. I was starting to get a pretty clear picture of where this particular talk was heading and I didn't like it one little bit. Well at least I knew Carlisle wasn't going to like the solution that was rapidly forming in my mind any better.

Something has to be done Edward; this situation is tearing our family apart. We love Bella, you love Bella. I understand your reservations but truly we are running out of viable solutions here. It's only a matter of time son.

I sighed heavily.

"I know."

Carlisle looked at me, his face was a mask of surprise.

Is he reconsidering at last?

I shook my head vehemently. "No I haven't changed my mind but I have thought of a better solution."

In my head I could hear all of the minds of my family turning to "look" in the direction of Carlisle's study. Usually we tried to give each other as much privacy as possible, considering the intrusive nature of our heightened senses, but right now all notions of confidentiality were well and truly gone.

What does he mean "a better solution"?

A better solution? Can it be possible? I can't see how but I hope for Edward's sake that there is.

Any solution would be better for her then what Alice had foreseen and for us too. I don't like the way she is changing everything.

Another way around this? Well that's got to make Rosie happy…

I took a breath and tried to reassemble my thoughts after the onslaught of my family's voices. At that moment, as if on cue, the phone rang. Without breaking eye contact with me for a second, Carlisle reached for the phone that sat on the desk in front of him.

"Hello this Dr Carlisle Cul…"

"Carlisle, it's Alice, sorry but can you put me on with Edward?"

I really should have guessed that my latest decision wouldn't be missed by the resident Cullen clan psychic. Still she must have been watching me; it was rare for her to get visions of events from afar unless she was concentrating.

"Yes of course Alice. Is everything ok, you sound upset?"

"Ummm, no, not really. Look I'll explain everything I promise, I just have to talk to Edward first."

Carlisle handed me the phone without a sound, his mind was whirring with worry about Jasper and what may have happened to upset Alice so badly.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" Alice's voice screeched down the phone at me.

"Alice, I…"

"NO, EDWARD CULLEN YOU LISTEN TO ME AND YOU LISTEN WELL. THIS WILL NOT, I REPEAT, WILL NOT WORK. YOU ARE ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE!"

"Alice calm down please." I tried to speak softly although I knew that everyone in the house had heard every word that Alice had fired at me.

"NO, NOT UNTIL YOU PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS GOD AWFUL PLAN." She paused. "TOO LATE! I CAN SEE THAT YOU WON'T YOU IDIOTIC, STUBBORN…"

"Edward what is going on?" Carlisle questioned from behind me. "What is Alice talking about?"

Alarm filled the mental tones of my family, Esme in particular.

"HE'S LEAVING BELLA!" Alice sounded close to hysteria.

Oh no! He's leaving! He's leaving us again! My baby, I can't stand to lose him again!

He's leaving! How could he? After all we have been through to try and make this work with his stupid human.

Whoa! Edward is leaving?

Only Carlisle's mind didn't automatically leap to the conclusion that I was again abandoning the family. His thoughts held one word only, one single question.

Why?

"No, calm down everyone, I'm not leaving." I desperately tried to placate everyone before the building frenzy intensified. I heard quick footsteps from several areas of the house, footsteps heading towards the study.

"YES YOU ARE EDWARD!"

"Alice, please! Calm down! Let me…"

I felt the phone being lifted from my hand.

"Alice where are you now?" Carlisle calmly questioned.

"On the Interstate, we'll be home by tomorrow. Carlisle this is wrong, it's a horrible, terrible mistake. I can tell."

"It's ok Alice we are going to have a family meeting about this now and open the floor to discussion." He eyed me forcefully. "We'll talk it through."

"Ok." Alice sounded slightly assuaged. "Please don't let him do it Carlisle, he'll regret it forever." Her voice was plainly pleading. I wondered just how hard this path was going to be on me, how much of a toll it would take.

At that moment the door to Carlisle's study burst open and Esme all but launched herself through the door with Rosalie and Emmett close on her heels. Esme's face was awash with concern, her tawny eyes flitted continually between Carlisle and me. She stood unmoving in all but her hands which she was fiercely wringing. Rosalie came no further into the room then the doorway which she leant against casually. A sneer of harsh amusement plastered on her perfect mouth, she looked pointedly at me before turning her gaze towards Carlisle. Emmett trundled in after Rosalie, he flopped down noiselessly into the armchair I had just occupied. For once his face held no hint of smile or humour, and his anxious eyes were fixed firmly on the floor.

"Don't worry, I promise no rash decisions will be made. Please try and get home as quickly as you can whilst being safe."

"Thanks Carlisle, we'll see you all soon."

The soft click that signalled the end of the call also heralded the beginning of the mental and verbal onslaught of questions.

Has the temptation of her blood gotten that strong? I'm sure it can't be that, he handled all that blood at her birthday.

"How could you even think of leaving us?"

I knew that girl would be nothing but trouble. I'll kill her if we have to move again.

"What is going on Edward?"

I don't get it.

"I don't get it Edward"

Well at least you could always count on Emmett for transparency.

Carlisle held up a quelling hand and the noise quietened both in and out of my head.

"I think that we all need to go downstairs to talk about this rationally and calmly. Edward, to the dining table please. Rosalie don't give me that look, this needs to be discussed in a mature and reasonable fashion."

Rosalie turned and stalked down the hallway. Emmett followed close behind her, his usual exuberant stride muffled by concern. Esme turned her luminous eyes on me; they were swimming with concern and worry.

"Esme, please…" Carlisle gently requested.

Esme turned and silently walked out of the room. Carlisle looked at me, his face help neither approval or disappointment simply a grim determination.

Honesty Edward.

And with that single thought he too turned and left the room.

I followed.

Soooooooo, what did you think? This is my very first piece of fiction writing so please send a review my way to let me know how I'm doing. I also have plans for some more chapters to add to this story, it definitely isn't finished yet. So I hope you stick around to see where we end up.

I've also got to add a massive thanks to my beta content1 who has been great with showing a fanfic newbie the ropes. Go check out her stories, they are amazing.