My birthday present to Emzi-chan! Her birthday was yesterday so it's a bit late, but happy birthday! It is a re-write of my very first Furuba fic which I posted under my old name, ifeelfreaky. If you think it sounds familiar you'd be right, but it's changed enough that you should really read it through again. It's all in Yuki POV now. Byt the way, this first part takes place before she knows the secret. I used some dialogue and scene setting from the manga, and it's not exact since I have yet to own the manga... T_T, but I think it's close. Not my best work, I'll admit (Sorry, Emzi), but I think it's... decent. I guess. Please read! I'm not doing very well at pumping you up to read it so I'll be shutting up now.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or its characters. All rights go to Natsuki Takaya.
Yuki had been desperately trying to get his necktie to hang straight and not crooked when he heard Tohru's scream accompanied by the feeling of fear coming from what could only be a nearby rat. Poor thing. Wherever it was, it was as a terrified as Tohru sounded.
Yuki rushed downstairs to see what had happened, hoping that both Tohru and the rat were all right. He hated finding hurt or dead rats, and it happened only few times, but he would always mourn for them a little if they had died and care for them as best he could if they were hurt. Tohru's scream, however, was completely different.
Coming downstairs, he found her, hands covering her face, shaking a little.
"Honda-san? Is something wrong?" Yuki couldn't quite see what had happened, but he had a suspicion that she'd seen the same rat he'd sensed.
Shigure poked his head around the corner, coming to stand next to Yuki, looking a little confused.
"Ah, I'm sorry! I'm not trying to make all of you worry, but… But there was a rat in the house!"
Just as Yuki thought. But then, since he was right, then that meant that… That meant that she…
Shigure laughed. "That makes two rats, doesn't it?"
Yuki glared at him, not appreciating his humor.
"There's another one?" Tohru looked petrified at the thought. "Can't we just get them out?"
"Get them out?" Yuki repeated numbly. She didn't want rats; she wanted them as far away from her as possible.
Suddenly there was a skittering of small feet and claws as the rat ran back into the room.
Tohru let out a short scream, backing all the way to the other end of the room in seconds. The rat paid her no mind and climbed straight up Yuki's leg and onto his shoulder. Gently, Yuki scooped it into his hands from his shoulder. "I'll take care of it, Honda-san," he said quietly, hoping she wouldn't be able to hear the hurt in his voice. She didn't how what she was saying could hurt him, and didn't mean any of it in reference to him but somehow it didn't matter. If she ever found out the secret she wouldn't want him anywhere near her.
"How can you stand touching it like that?" Tohru shuddered, covering her eyes again with her hands. "I don't even want to look at it."
Shigure, realizing that Yuki was taking everything personally, gave him a pitying look.
Yuki didn't want his pity. He didn't need it. All he'd wanted was Tohru's acceptance, but it was obvious now that she could accept part of him and even that was uncertain. "I'll take him outside," Yuki said in a soft voice, glad that she couldn't see his expression. "You won't have to be scared anymore."
As Yuki silently slipped outside the rat detected his sadness. It climbed onto his shoulder, nuzzling its small warm body against his neck as if to say, 'I'm sorry'.
She'd been so scared. If he ever transformed, if she ever knew what he could become, she'd distance herself just like Akito had told him.
"If normal people knew, it would sicken them. They'd stay away from you. You'd be forced to live alone."
Akito was right. He'd been right about that too. Tohru couldn't accept for everything he was. She couldn't possibly love everything about him if she couldn't even look at a rat.
She didn't want him. She couldn't want him.
The rat nestled against Yuki's neck again, as if in comfort. They were a little ways off from his garden and in the woods when he knelt to the ground, taking the rat from his shoulder. "Stay out here from now on. We wouldn't want to scare Honda-san."
The rat looked up at him, blinking.
He might as well resign himself to his fate. No normal person could ever truly accept and care about him. Yuki closed his eyes to hold back the tears.
She couldn't know. She could never know about the curse. If she did he knew that she'd leave him behind like everybody else already had.
~The Next Morning~
Yuki waited patiently outside the girls' locker room. When Tohru came out, he'd apologize. He'd promise to stay away from her, no matter how it hurt him. He didn't want to scare her or force her to care for some one she never could.
Now that she knew about the curse, there was no other choice for him. That stupid cat had ruined everything. Again.
Tohru came out, then, looking fresh and happy. He wanted to stay near to this happiness, but he couldn't. He'd keep her safe from himself so that she could remain happy. He'd go back to his parents' house, he'd transfer to whatever school they wanted him to .
As long as she was happy.
Even so, the thought was suffocating. He'd almost been wanted. Almost been accepted. Almost experienced love from another person. Almost. Something so beautiful and precious that he'd always strived and searched for had been at his fingertips until it had been snatched away just as quickly.
"Honda-san," he said. "May I speak with you?"
"Sohma-kun! Yes, please tell me anything you'd like to." Tohru smiled brightly.
"How can you stand touching it like that? I don't even want to look at it!"
Her words, so innocently spoken, had ripped apart his hopes he'd carefully built up and protected. One by one they had slipped away. He tried not to show these things to her as she looked into his eyes, praying that she wouldn't see the pain. "You know about my family now. You know what I am."
"Stupid… Ignorant… Unwanted… Useless… Abandoned… Unneeded… Unloved…" Akito had always said so, and he'd always believed him, but he'd still hoped. He'd clung to hope like he breathed air. Hope was all he'd left and even that was now gone.
Yuki continued, backing a few steps away from her so she'd be more comfortable, "And now that you know, I think you would prefer that I not spend time with you." He couldn't look at her as he spoke, not wanting to see the confirmation of her rejection in her eyes. He'd seen it too many times. His own mother had turned away without looking back after selling him into a childhood of torment. His brother had brushed him off the one time he'd asked for help. He couldn't stand to see that same look from Tohru, knowing that it would destroy him, even if he already knew that it was true."
"I don't even want to look at it!"
"I'm going to move back in with my parents and transfer schools. I… I'm sorry if I ever did anything to hurt or scare you."
There. Maybe now she could be happy. With him gone, she could live with Shigure and Kyo without having to worry about some one like him around. No one wanted a rat around. Dogs and cats were cherished animals, and people didn't scream if one crossed their path. Rats they set out traps and poison for, hoping to kill them so that could be rid of them. No one could want a rat. That's what he was: a rodent and a pest.
"It would sicken them. They'd stay away from you."
"Can't we just get them out?"
Yuki turned away from her, his heart heavy. Never. He could never be accepted.
"So- Sohma-kun?" She put a hand on his shoulder, her voice anxious and sad. "Please don't go."
Yuki turned around, the tears in her eyes paralyzing at his heart. He hadn't meant to make her cry; he'd only wanted to make her happy. "But yesterday with the rat, you were terrified. I don't want you to have to feel the same way about me. This is better for you."
Tohru shook her head. "I was scared, but I'm not scared of you, Sohma-kun. I want you near to me in any form that you have."
Yuki felt a small thread of hope work its way through his heart. But at the same time… Tohru was such a kind person. She could just be saying that to save him from being hurt.
Unexpectedly, Tohru wrapped her arms around him. For those few seconds he could feel her embrace and her warmth, and it was among the most incredible things he'd ever experienced, even if it only lasted a few seconds.
Yuki fell into the pile of now empty clothes, wondering what Tohru could mean by hugging him like she did. She knelt down, scooping him up from the floor. "I'm sorry, Sohma-kun. I just wanted to prove that I could love you as a human and as a rat." She kissed the top of his furry head. "Please, will you always be my friend?"
The pain melted away and the hope warmed him. Not only hope, but knowledge that some one wanted him. Someone knew the secret and still wanted him. It was the first time in his life he'd experienced that kind of acceptance and it was an unfamiliar feeling.
A beautiful unfamiliar feeling that he didn't want to let go of.
"Honda-san, I—" Yuki was cut off as he transformed back into natural form. Tohru quickly spun around, covering her reddened face with her hands.
Yuki put on his clothes quickly like years of practice had taught him. "It's safe now," he said.
Tohru's blush was mostly gone when she turned back around.
"…they'd be sickened."
"You aren't 'sickened' by me then?" Yuki had to know for certain. He had to hear it one way or the other.
"Of course I'm not." Then, she noticed something and giggled a little. "Oh, your necktie's crooked!" She stepped closer and straightened it. "There, that looks much better."
"Please, will you always be my friend?"
"Thank you."
"It's no problem. It's just something I'm good at." Tohru smiled brightly, completely missing what he was thanking her for.
It didn't matter if she didn't realize what a tremendous gift she'd given him. At least for right now, she didn't need to know. Someday he'd tell her or she'd realize on her own.
Right now, just knowing it himself was enough.
So... yeah... I'm not too confident about this one. I don't think it matches any of my other fics at all. But I hope you enjoyed it at least a little. Please tell me any thoughts you may have in a review! Negative or positive, it doesn't matter. ^^
Happy birthday, Emzi-chan!