Jim and Squidward: A Spongebob Story part 4: Grand Opening
Jim monologue: well, the day finally came. Opening day. We fucking had a crazy amount of fucking buzz and we fucking had to live up to it. Things are fucking great here. And on April 12th 1997, the day came. Squidward and I were to embark on the thing that fucking made us. My dad always told me to fucking stop getting High everyday and he always told me to fucking get a real fucking job. Was this a real job? Hell fucking yes.
(Colleen with the staff of the restaurant and Jim and squid day before the grand opening)
Colleen: alright people, we have a fucking huge day tomorrow. We've all been working hard and tomorrow may be the busiest day this eatery ever sees. Every person in this place needs to do all they could. First impressions are important as fuck. The musicians we hired for the first day are top notch we are gonna wait a little bit until we start open mics. Anyways, go home get some rest because Tomorrow is gonna be fucking insane
(Colleen approaches Jim and Squidward)
Colleen: hey guys
Jim: hi
Colleen: you've guys got some some fucking expectations to live up to
Squidward: we know.
Colleen: Squidward, go work with the fucking band
Squidward: okay (goes to the band)
Jim: Colleen
Colleen: yeah?
Jim: does Squidward seem happy?
Colleen: well, I'm not a therapist. I'm a fucking business person
Jim: well, Squidward seems to want to be back in school. But he's fucking here
Colleen: this is fucking better than school
Jim: I'm aware. I'm really fucking aware
Colleen: then fuck dude, what else do you need?
Jim: just saying. Fuck
Colleen: get back to fucking work, Jim.
Jim: fuck. Okay
(Krabs and plankton smoking pot in krabs' office)
Krabs: tomorrow is opening day. They fucking did it
Plankton: we should get lunch there tomorrow. Why the fuck not ya know
Krabs; ohh fuck them. We'll try their shit but I'm not expecting much.
Plankton: we should be there. We should be there fucking running that shit
Krabs: easier said than fucking done
Plankton: ahhh fuck that. Fuck it. Let's just pay them a friendly visit.
Krabs: nothing wrong with that. Who knows, we might even like it
Plankton: and if we like it, we could be fine with it
Krabs: I'm content with that.
(Jim and Squidward smoking a joint and walking around bikini bottom at night)
Jim: it's coming
Squidward: that it is
Jim: the day we've dreamt about for so long
Squidward: yeahhhhh
Jim: squid, are you okay, man?
Squidward: well, I'm not not okay
Jim: define not not okay
Squidward: I'm just content. My best bud fucked me and now I'm here with my new best friend
Jim: Squidward, don't worry. You'll be around music at Jazztel.
Squidward: I'll quit my bitching. I'm just lucky I had a back up. God I never had high fucking hopes for one when Krabs abused us
Jim: none of us fucking did
Squidward: yeah. He's probably fucking plankton as we speak
Jim: haha I still can't fucking believe that happened
Squidward: krabby fucking dick
Jim: that's he even more unbelievable part. Him saying that shit
(Squiliam chilling with Mac)
Squiliam: yo mac, you hear about this new place in bikini bottom called Jazztel?
Mac: wahh (stoned as balls)
Squiliam: I've been hearing good things about it
Mac: if they sell White Castle burgers we'll go.
Squiliam: buddy, take a look at the flyer I have here (hands it to Mac)
Mac: huh. It says Squidward opened this place with some dude named Jim
Squiliam: what? Let me see that (Mac hands it to him)...holy Neptune. Are you fucking kidding me? I thought I destroyed him?
Mac: ya know, I always liked Squidward. He made me laugh
Squiliam; yeah but he's a fucking dick
Mac: hey let's just go there and see how it is.
Squiliam: fine, but I'm gonna give Squidward a piece of my fucking mind
Mac; dude what the fuck. Calm the fuck down bro. Fuck man
Squiliam: you don't get it
Mac: I do bro. You're a whiny prick who I constantly hang out with. That's all there fucking is to it
Squiliam: well, tomorrow we'll fucking show
(Krabs and plankton smoking in the office)
Krabs: who the fuck is Eugene?
Plankton; Eugene is a man of fucking power
Krabs: who the fuck is Sheldon ?
Sheldon: I don't know. Who the fuck is Sheldon ?
Krabs: wanna have sex again?
Plankton: are you joking?
Krabs: yeah. Lol
Plankton: tomorrow is Jazztel's opening day. Must we go?
Krabs: we already said we would.
Plankton : oh yea. Sorry, I'm too stoned to think, man
Krabs: I feel. I feel
(17 minutes Before opening day at jazztel)
Jim: fuck dude. I can't believe this day is here.
Squidward: man, the band is so fucking good.
Colleen: you assholes better not fuck it up. We worked too hard for this to go to shit
Squidward: you worry way to fucking much.
Band member: Squidward, check this shit out (plays some mad nice bari sax shit)
Squidward: oohhh. I fucks with it
Band member: ight word (walks away)
Squidward: already. Al fucking ready the music is great.
Colleen: okay. You too open the doors. Don't fuck it up
Jim monologue : I'll never forget the doors opening. The doors opening symbolized life. It symbolized a new world for us all. We really didn't expect this to even happen. We were just 2 23 year olds getting high like 6 times a day. And now this happened.
(The doors to jazztel open. People are loving it)
Squidward talking The a consumer
Consumer: holy balls. This fucking fuuk squilam is superb. What's in it?
Squidward: pasta and carrots.
Consumer: that can't be all.
Squidward: that it is.
(In walk Squiliam and Mac)
They get seated.
(Squidward talking to Jim)
Squidward: hell of a first day
Jim. What bands are we booking for the upcoming days?
Squidward: it's open mic. They'll comer here.
(Mac over hears him)
Mac: word you do open mics. I've got a pretty sick band
Squidward: do I know them
Mac: stingray 5000
Squidward: hmmm. That name sounds familiar. Wait you look familiar. Oh my god are you Mac from Juilliard?
Mac: yeah bro. I know you Squidward. Squiliam fucked you
Squidward: wait you know he fucked me?
Mac: of course. Squiliam is my fucking amigo
Squidward: is he here?
Mac: yeah bro. We both ordered the fuuk squilám
Squidward: well. I hope you enjoy
(Mac and Squiliam eating their food)
Mac; yo this shit is mad fucking goood
Squiliam: it really is. Maybe we won't fuck Squidward again. It really is some quality fucking food
(Krabs and plankton at another table)
Krabs: (looks at his fuuk squilám) okay
Plankton: (tastes it). Oh my god. This is really freaking good, Eugene. Wow
Krabs: (tastes it) hmmmmm. I'm surprised too. That is good. It tastes familiar though (takes another bite) wait a minute...I know this taste. I know this tasty taste. i fucking know it!
(End)