Well hello there, and welcome to #OMEGA. My name is Mygrane, and it's a pleasure to see you've clicked on this little story. You know, there really aren't enough stories about Omega in the Sonic fanfic community, so I figured I'd do him a little justice.

"Justice." *makes sarcastic air-quotes with fingers*

So, just to give you some context on this fic before you drown yourself in it: I've honestly had a lot of trouble with fanfic writing in the past. Not because I'm full-on terrible at it, but because I'm reeeeeeeeaaaaaaally OCD when it comes to this stuff. That being said, the entire purpose of the following story is for me to not give the slightest percentage of a monkey's left buttock while writing it—an attempt to break the habit, if you will. This story does not promise to be good, it is not very calculated, it is not proofread. Frankly, it's mostly just me scraping fresh insanity sauce off my brain and throwing it at the nearest wall to see if it sticks… or if it melts the wall. Either is acceptable.

So, to put things lightly, you have been warned. There WILL be cheese.

Targeting System mode set: free fire.

Weapon of choice selected: 16" arm-mounted dual gatling guns.

Ammunition selected: armor penetrating rounds.

...Prepared to fire at will should enemy machinery show itself to be hostile...

"For the last time, sir. We do not serve unleaded gasoline on our quarter-pounders."

The large and heavily armed man made of a strong, blood-red metal aimed a duo of arm-mounted, massive machine guns at the drive-thru speaker phone of a restaurant. He was the last of the E-series robots, CODENAME: OMEGA-the most undeniably powerful automaton ever made. In his opinion.

"YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF CONVINCING ME THAT YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF SUPPLYING ME WITH A GRACIOUS QUANTITY OF BOTH FUEL AND COW MEAT," Omega droned angrily, not lowering his weaponry. His eyes, normally perfect red circles as piercing as his bullets, were now readjusted in slanted, anger-conveying half-circles. "MY SCANNERS DETECT HIGH QUANTITIES OF BOTH INSIDE OF YOUR PRODUCTS."

The car waiting in the drive-thru behind Omega-who was totally just standing in the middle of the pavement, by the by-peeled slowly out of line and drove away.

"I'm sorry, but you can't get gas on your burger sir... it's..." the drive-thru clerk stopped to breathe, trying to keep from getting angry. "If it doesn't come on the menu, you can't get it extra. I'm sorry?"

"IS THERE NO WAY THAT I COULD RECEIVE MY MULTI-LAYERED PSEUDO-NOURISHING PRODUCT AS I DESIRE IT?

"I dunno... buy a regular burger and add the gas at the gas station across the street?"

"A SUFFICIENT SUGGESTION," Omega stated. "I WILL TAKE A DOUBLE-BROILED CHAOBURGER, WITHHOLDING THE MAYONNAISE AND ONIONS.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"DO YOU DESIRE BULLETS TO PIERCE YOUR FLESH-BAG ESOPHAGUS ALONG WITH MY CASH PAYMENT?"

"Your order is $3.99 at the first window..." ended the restaurant employee meekly.

Omega retracted his guns, deciding that the building was not worth demolishing... for now. He walked around the corner and the order line began to move with him. A man sitting in the back of his pickup truck finished a third game of Euchre with the people in the Mustang behind him. Yup, the wait had literally been so long that people had started playing cards with each other between vehicles.

As the robot rounded the building, a mama Flicky bird flew from the sky to its nest, which sat in a tree beside the parking lot. In its beak was a plump worm with which it would feed the team of six chirping, hungry Flicklings that sat in the nest. Omega took out the whole group of them with a rocket-propelled grenade.

He clanked straight to the window where the employee from earlier—an amethyst-colored male Mobian bull wearing the generic smock and visor of his workplace—was waiting for him with his order already stuffed in a sack. "Thank you for choosing Chao Diner," he said in an uninterested tone. "Have a nice d-"

He stopped dead cold as he focused on his customer for a half of a second. Taking in the sight of the robot, his left eye began to twitch violently, while his right began to spasm mildly.

"I AM OBLIGED TO FORCE UPON YOU MY THANKS," said the blood-red robot as he accepted ('accepted' meaning 'tore away with excessive strength' in this situation) the bag from the bull servant's tightly clenched hand.

The bull teen's eyes yellowed with rage as he looked at the bright-red machine, and his nostrils flared and his breathing deepened to match. He had visions flash across his mind of how his entire immediate family was taken captive by Eggman—Omega's original creator—and roboticized into slavery one by one, starting with his now-deceased war veteran father; of how he had been rescued by world famous hero Sonic the Hedgehog, but in so quick a way that he hadn't been able to speak with his savior; and of how his family's secret fortune had been plundered and spent off by people he had once called friends, forcing him to take up work in a greasy fast food chain in order to raise the funds for locating his missing family members.

Oh, and on top of that, the kid was a bull... and Omega was bright red... you get the gist.

"YOU APPEAR TO BE DISPLAYING SIGNS OF STRESS," Omega observed, taking in the increasingly violent contortions of the amethyst employee's expression. "ARE YOU HAVING SOME FORM OF BIOLOGICAL SEIZURE THE LIKES OF WHICH MY MEMORY BANKS ARE NOT AWARE OF, OR IS THIS JUST A SIDE EFFECT OF SERVING BEEF BYPRODUCTS WHILE ALSO BEING A BULL?" inquired the Ex-Eggman Empire Champion as the rage-faced, yellow-eyed bull teen began to seeth anger-induced slobber from between clenched teeth.

"All of my training has prepared me FOR THIS MOMENT!" he screamed with a bloodthirsty cry, completely not caring about the fact that the only training he had ever received was La Crosse and piano lessons. He put one foot into the window sill, jumped up, and pushed off so that he smashed, long bull horns first, into Omega's chestplate, where he stuck like a sword in a dart board.

The walking arsenal did not react at first, except for one small, slow action where he removed his hamburger, which lacked gasoline as a topping, from the decorative Chao Diner meal bag.

Two seconds later, the bull teenager had been pulled out of the robot by the robot himself. Two minutes later, Omega was walking away with only the burger in his hands-no meal bag. Two hours later, a team of chiropractors and quantum physicists were pondering over how to safely removed the bull kid's body from the flimsy paper sack he had somehow been forcibly squashed into. Two days later, the story of his survival would make headlines across the United Federation. Two weeks later, his random little spout of fame allowed his lost family, who had been de-roboticized two months beforehand, to locate and reunite with him, and after two years, he would finish his high school education and eventually move on to receive a college degree in advanced plumbing.

In the present point in time, however, Omega was having a problem. He had to cross a street. A very busy, multi-lane highway, to be exact.

This shall most certainly not end in disaster.

Yeah, so, that's that. First chapter, kinda short. I normally write these things on my phone in my spare time, so other chapters will just pop up at random whenever I feel like it, and that's a promise. Leave a review! Or don't. I can understand if you're afraid to, you COWARDLY DIPWIFFLE! (JK)

Oh, and I lied about the cheese, by the way.