Adommy

by DeannaLambert

This story is what , in my eyes , Adam and Tommy's relationship would be like 3 in Adam's eyes .

Chapter 1 - Adommy

I slowly tilted the microphone away from my face as the song faded into a slow repetitive beat and listened to the crowd's piersing cheers.

"Adam! Adam! Adam!"

A half smile appeared on my face right then, I can't explain how much my fans mean to me. They bring out the best in me; it's a feeling that's unexplainable. The song then came to a slow stop. I wanted to glance back at Tommy to see why he and Monte stopped, but I didn't. I continued to stare out into the crowd. I dropped to my knees, bowed my head, and laid the microphone onto the cold, stage floor…

The intro to Aftermath started to fade in and I slowly rose my head gently,looked out and took the microphone and sang my heart out…

After two encores the night came to an end. I felt good, tonight meant a lot. As I walked into my dressing room to relax, I caught a glance of Tommy sitting with his guitar, head down. A soft, soothing tone came from the guitar; Tommy then looked up into my eyes and smiled. As much as I tried to fight back the smile, it was clearly impossible, the biggest smile had stretched across my face. Once again, Tommy smiled back but, tried to hide it by looking down once again. He was playing a softer version of "Whataya Want From Me", I thought it was simply beautiful, the way everything flowed in harmony when he played it. I watched him play for a couple minutes, then made my way into my dressing room. I walked in and sat down, facing a mirror, I looked into it, I saw Adam Lambert, but what I didn't see was a spark. Adam Lambert was missing his spark.

One tear found its way down my face, then another, and then another. No matter now many times I tried to paint a smile on my face, depression comes back and knocks me down. Suddenly, I heard the door knob twist open; I quickly wiped the tears away from my face and made a quick effort to look decent. It was Tommy who came; he looked anxious, yet chilled.

"Adam? Oh... I'm sorry! I should have knocked… I didn't …." My poor job of wiping tears failed, they just kept coming, and I had no control.

"It's fine…" My voice cracked from tearing up; Tommy quickly picked up on my emotion. He sat down next to me, put his arm around my shoulder and took my face to meet with his…

"I'm not going to ask if there is anything wrong, because I know something is… But I know I can do something to help…" I looked into his eyes and for a second, I saw a spark. I wiped the tears again and gave him a half smile, a real one. Knowing that I smiled back at him he knew he was doing right on making me feel better. He got up and took my hand, wrapped his arms around my stomach and rested his head on my shoulder. It took me a second to respond back, but I mimicked his actions and the tears stopped, I closed my eyes and I could feel a smile starting to grow across my face, now that I was secure in Tommy's arms.

Chapter 2 - That smile

When I awoke, I was still sitting in the chair facing the mirror in my dressing room. I quickly got up and looked around, nothing had been moved or touched. I heard birds chirping and massive talking outside my dressing room. I rubbed my eyes and noticed I had eyeliner running down my face; I chuckled and tried to make my face look a bit better. As I was cleaning my face, I looked onto the desk below my mirror and saw a perfectly folded note saying "Adam". I looked over at my dressing room door to try and spot Tommy's voice, but nothing. I then sat down and began to read:

Morning Adam,

So, you feel asleep right after the show and I kind of didn't want to wake you, Hope that's okay? Anyway, Monte and I are out with the bus, but we'll be back in about an hour? Don't freak…

In that instant, a million things ran through my mind, but I couldn't piece together what I'd "Love". I set the note down on the disorganized desk, took a deep breath, and walked outside. When I walked out everyone took a double take, just starred at me. I looked completely discusting, my hair was disheveled, and nothing looked like I put any effort into it. Which I didn't, but I didn't care.

I don't remember too much from last night's concert, thing I remember is being in Tommy's arms, and waking up the next day. If only Tommy knew how much I'd give, how much I care for him. When I walked out onto the stage and saw nothing,The screaming fans flashed through my head, the tears and joy of how much they adore me just hit me last night. I can honestly understand caring that much for another, from personal experience. I sat down at the edge of the stage and rested my head on the floor. I looked up and saw the most beautiful sky, everything was so bright, when you look up into the sky, all your worries are set aside for that time. I closed my eyes, I saw Tommy's smile. That's all I want, but it seems the thing you want the most is the thing you can't have.

"Adam! Adam! Adam! Look at me!" A familiar voice called, I turned around.

"Where have you been, slacker?" He laughed and took my hand. He brought me into the tour bus and into the spare room. He told me to sit down and wait. I sat there with my eyes closed for a good 2 minutes,then felt a presence right over my face, I could hear a soft, but nervous heart beat, but steady… Right then my heart started to race, eyes still shut. I felt a gust of air hit my face…. My hands started to shake, I got a bit scared.

Two cold hands touched the sides of my face and drew it closer, as my eyes still closed, the burst of air hits my face, a warm, minty quick blow of air…. It felt closer, like it was making its way closer and closer to my face. Then suddenly I felt it, I felt soft, perfectly curved lips touch mine, my body loosened and I could feel butterflies starting to rise in my stomach… his hands moved to my neck and stopped… with my eyes still shut, he kisses me again and tells me to open my eyes. In that moment I felt my heart stop, I know who I wanted it to be, but I never got a good glimpse of his face… it was a blur…

I opened my eyes and saw what I thought was an angel….

Chapter 3 - Next

I jump suddenly out of my comfortable position I was in to find that I was dreaming that whole time. I sighed and the got up, in the back of my mind I sort of knew that it was too good to be true. To find that I was still in my outfit from last night, I went to go change. My dressing room was full of used clothes all over the floor and makeup on the desks, it was a complete mess. I laughed to myself and thought of how much fun that lady that saw this room would have. I got dressed into black leather pants and a grey and black plaid shirt, with of course the leather boots. I took my time doing my makeup, trying to do my best with the "Smokey Eye" technique. Last, I did my hair. I decided to go with an "Up-Do" today. I took my gel and just went crazy, I wanted my hair to look absolutely fantastic today, I made my hair stand so well and look so much better then I've ever seen it. I threw some glitter on the sides and then sprayed Dior Homme as a finishing touch. I walked out of my dressing room feeling better. When I went outside I saw the tour bus sitting in the drive way, my heart started to beat faster because that meant that Tommy… and Monte were back! I walked over to the bus and saw Monte making his bed.

"Good Morning Monte!" I said enthusiastically.

"Aye Adam! Sorry we took the bus this morning, it was kind of important."

"No, it's cool. I kind of needed some time to get myself back together from last night."

"Oh yea, after the concert you kind of went at it, eh?"

"Wait, what?"

"After Tommy went and talked to you, you took the bus and headed out to a club. No one was there with you so no one really knows exactly what you did, all we know is that we got a call from the club manager at like… 4 in the morning saying that you needed to go home, but you were too messed up to even walk. Tommy brought you back home and rested you on your dressing room chair, last night we stayed here, you slept in your dressing room and the rest of us slept in the tour bus. You don't remember that at all?"

"Well, no… Tommy wrote me and note and said I fell asleep right after the show…?"

"Oh, maybe I wasn't supposed to tell you. It would kind of be better without you knowing what happened last night, though. Sorry I told you…"

"No, that's fine … I should know. I just can't believe I did that."

"Well, we all make mistakes."

"Not as bad as I do. I just hope this doesn't get all over, I'll make a bad impression on my fans..." I sighed and then sat down on the couch in the tour bus.

"I don't know about that, no one knew you were there until we got a call at 4. I'm sure that no one will find out."

"I sure hope you're right, Monte." I lounged on the couch and cupped my hands nest to my face to make a pillow. Monte made his bed and then sat next to me on the couch.

"Hey Adam, you've been pretty down since the show, you want to talk about anything?" Monte was a really good friend of mine, but I don't think I can talk about this particular problem with him.

"No, I don't really feel good. Maybe I'm just hung over or something…?"

"No way! You look amazing today!" Monte laughed, he thought I woke up looking this amazing. I laughed as well.

"Thanks, Monte!" I got up and went to my room in the bus and started to clean up. I heard someone come onto the bus, usually when someone steps on the bus the bus kind of bounces. When I finished cleaning my room a bit, I started to walk out into the sitting room and saw Monte and Tommy talking, I thought I would just listen for a second …

"Hey Monte, You've seen Adam?" Tommy jumped on the bus and sounded out of breathe.

"Yea, he kind of looks a little down … maybe you should leave him for a little bit…?" Monte said a little lower so that I wouldn't hear him all the way in my room… In my head I wanted to scream "I'M FINE! TOMMY I'M RIGHT HERE!"

"Oh, why? Monte, did you tell him about last night?" Tommy's voice rose a little.

"Well, I didn't know you wrote him a note! I'm really sorry…." Monte sat down and Tommy sighed.

"Ugh… he's been pretty depressed since last night, I don't really know why, but I thought I kind of made him feel better… It's okay Monte… I should talk to him again, should I?"

"Why did you need to talk to him before I told you about the note?"

"I wanted to tell him that-"Tommy was cut off by the bus suddenly starting, everyone jumped onto the bus, and it was time to leave. Monte got up and started to talk to LP. Tommy then walked in the direction of my room and then stopped; Cam turned him around and gave him a hug.

"Tommy! Did you get it?" Cam whispered to Tommy…

"Yea! I can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees it!" Tommy's face lit up.

"Be sure to give this to him for me too, and this, from Monte and LP?" Cam gave Tommy two bags with items in it, I couldn't make out what was in them… But I was curious. I tried to get to my room without anyone noticing that I was watching them the whole time… but suddenly Tommy grabbed my shirt and gave me one of those manly hugs.

"Adam! Good morning you!" Tommy laughed and had the biggest smile on his face.

"Tommy! Hey man, you look good." He was wearing what I thought was a new outfit, grey tight skinny jeans and a white V-Neck T-Shirt with the perfect amount of black eyeliner and eye shadow, very casual, yet very 4

Surprise!

When the bus set off onto the road, I went to go relax in my room. In my room I have only the necessities, a bed, stereo, and a T.V.

I jumped onto my bed like a kitty and took my remote for my radio and just switched it to a soft beat of instrumental remixes. I laid there and just thought about everything, being so depressed like I have been lately isn't me. I've never been this down, and the band looks like they're starting to worry… They shouldn't …. But they don't know that… I sighed and turned to my side. Suddenly I lunged out of my bed and smacked my back against the wall; I saw Tommy just lounging on my bed like it was his living room couch. I mean, I don't have any problem with him in my bed, trust me… I think I'm kind of happy that he is… It was just a shock.

"Maybe I should have knocked…when I entered…" Tommy laughed to himself and smiled. He jumped off the bed and helped me get back up. I got up and brushed the imaginary dust off of me, even though there most likely wasn't any. I made a retarded laugh to fake about not being embarrassed, when I was.

"Adam, you're such a horrible liar, it's quite funny…" Tommy took my hand and held it against his cheek; he looked at it and then looked into my eyes… He was so beautiful; it hurt to look at him. I broke our stare; I broke our tight hold. I can't stand to be this close to the person I feel so much for… knowing it won't go anywhere… Tommy looked dumbfounded, his face dropped in emotion. I guess he was hoping to have a moment. I bet all he wanted to do was get me all worked up and then shut me down like what I've expected, well, not expected, from previous experiences I'd say. I was so annoyed I started to walk out of my room; I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him… it hurt… No matter how much I tell myself I hate him, I know it's a total lie. I'm in love with Tommy Ratliff, truly I am. Tommy saw that I was leaving the room and grabbed my shirt sleeve and pulled me closer to him…

"Tommy, I can't…" I whispered.

"You can't, what?" Tommy tried to stay in contact with my face, tried to keep the meet between our eyes, I refused. I looked away every time I saw that spark into his eyes, it killed me nearly to look away, but … I felt I needed to let him know that I was done playing these games. I broke the hold once again and started to walk out, I quickly turned back for a one last look at his face for a while, I planned on just leaving him to wonder for a while, but when I looked back I could have swore I saw a single tear find it's way done Tommy's face, I laid my hand on the edge of the door to take a deep breath.

"Tommy…" My voice began to crack, I could feel a cry … I quickly stopped it and walked out the door. Tommy ran and grabbed my hand and walked me back into the room once again, he closed the door and leaned against it… He wiped his tear and looked at me, his eyes watered, he looked nervous.

"I know how to say this, but… but… Wait, I want you to have something. Happy Birthday, Adam. Monte and I spent all morning trying to find the perfect gift; I still don't think it's just right… But it's quite difficult to find something to match the spark you have… I don't know, look. Open it…" Tommy handed me a glitter-filled plastic Birthday bag. I had totally forgotten that it was my birthday today, there has just been too much to deal with, my birthday meant nearly nothing compared to the others. I looked at Tommy right before I began to open it, but his eyes were fixed on the gift. I opened it to find a card and a small silver box, I took the card first, I opened it and read what was written: Adam, Happy Birthday Buddy! I love every second I'm with you, it's hard to express of how much you mean to me, maybe the gift can explain itself. I could feel my face starting to blush, I was getting quite nervous, and not trying to stall I quickly took the silver box and tilted it open… What appeared was a pure gold, necklace that had Tommy's name and Mine entwined in a rose vine and at the bottom it said "Forever Love" … I took the necklace and held it close to my chest, I got up off of my bed and dropped to my knees. I've never gotten something that's touched me so much… I slowly made my eyes meet with Tommy's. He was looking directly at me at that moment… he got down to my level and took me face cupped in his hands and drew me closer…Chapter 5

The song

As my eyes slowly begin to open, it was a blur. Last night was simply magical. I woke up to find Tommy lying right next to me, sleeping so peacefully. I leaned over him to kiss his forehead, as I did, my hand touched his… I entwined our fingers oh so gently, trying not to wake him. I took a deep breath and smiled, then carefully got out of bed. I instantly got dressed, did my hair, and applied my makeup. Surprisingly, I didn't take my time; I was in quite a hurry for no reason. As I was finished, I went to go check on Tommy one last time to see his beautiful face lie in bed sleeping. I inched the door open to see him, but he wasn't there, I fully opened the door then and the bed was empty. I then thought back to how long it took my to get ready, Not that long to be honest, a half hour? I signed and started making the bed, but suddenly I felt two arms flap down on my waist and Tommy's chin rest onto my shoulder. Tommy lightly turned his head and kissed my cheek and then gave me a shy smile. I laughed and took his face and just let it out. My fingers ran through his beautiful blonde hair numerous times, his hands traced my all over my body until he rested his two hands on my belt buckle, my eyes flickered open while Tommy just let out a small breath, his hands tightened around my belt then he ran his hands around my waist and squeezed me tighter. I cupped his face in my hands and kept my eyes closed, as my lips touched his I could feel him crack a slight smile. His hands still rested around my waist, but then gradually moved upward to my neck, he laid his arms around my neck and let go of my face, he opened his eyes and as did I, I saw him shed a single tear then… A tear of happiness? I wasn't too sure, but I took my finger and wiped it off, pulled him closer and snuggled his body against mine. Tommy took a deep breath…

"Adam, I…. "His eyes met mine, but then LP walked in.

"Alright, Breakfast is ready if you two are willing to come out of your cave now." He winked and Tommy and I, I guess this whole birthday surprise was only a surprise to me. Tommy started to walk out, but then I grabbed his hand and pulled him back, I lightly pushed him onto the bed and stood right over him with the biggest smile.

"Explain…?" I wanted to know everything, his decision on his sexuality, the whole procedure for this surprise because it was pretty damn good.

"Adam, you know I love you, but you are easiest person to fool. First off, the whole birthday surprise I have been planning since 3 months ago… your 20 years are something to celebrate and I thought this was the perfect way for you to never forget, and I thought this was a way better way to say I love you then just to say it, it takes some to say, but more to show." Tommy folded his hands and leaned back a little. "My orientation was decided the first time you laid your lips on mine… At the AMA's… Adam, I'm not going to lie to you that was the most magical thing I have ever experienced. Words can't explain so I won't dwell on it. I wanted you to know how much I care and how much I'd give just to make you smile, but I want that smile to be mine, forever…" I nodded and almost thought about crying, what hit me the most was that he felt the exact same way I felt throughout this whole journey, but I'm glad to hear that he doesn't want to lose me any less then I. I smiled at him and then walked out; he jumped up off of the bed and landed on my shoulders.

"I demand a piggy-back ride, my love!" He laughed like a kid would in this situation, as he jumped on my shoulders, as unaware as I was, my grip went lose and let go, my eyes widened with shock, I quickly tried to catch him as he fell, but I was a bit late, he'd already hit the floor, but I caught his hand. My hand tightened in his and pulled him back up.

"Tommy! Oh my god, I didn't know…! I tried to keep my grip, but it was off-guard and I … are you okay?" My heart started to beat faster and I starred at Tommy whose head was against the bus floor right now trying to ease the pain from the fall.

"Oh Adam, I think I'm fine, just a little fall." He gave me a smile to tell me that it was okay, but he didn't fool me this time, I knew something was wrong.

"Here, take my hand… I'm so sorry… Did you hit your head? I didn't see… I'm sorry!" The words just flew out of my mouth and I didn't know how to react, he looked hurt. When he launched off of my bed onto my shoulders and when I lost my grip, I lost it near my stereo and my dresser, I was worried his head might have hit the corner of the dresser or anywhere for that matter…

"I don't remember, I kind of fell pretty fast, Adam, calm down. I'm not dying baby." He held pressure against wall to help him up, I quickly took his hand that was secure on his head and helped him up. When he was standing, I pressed his body against mine, I was scared for a second I might have hurt him, but when I went to let go I caught a glance of my hand, the one I helped Tommy stand up with… It was stained with blood…

"Tommy… Turn around…"Chapter 6

Worry

Tommy's eyes widened and my heart beat faster as he turned his body around. Right then Monte and LP ran into the bus hallway where Tommy was leaning against the wall.

"Tommy! Adam! What the hell was that bang?" Monte yelled across the bus, LP stood there shocked at what he'd just witnessed.

"Monte just shut up and come over here!" LP yelled back, I saw Monte with the T.V. remote in his hand walking like he was annoyed. As Tommy's hands pressed against the wall and his back facing towards us, everyone took a deep breath and starred. I couldn't look knowing I did it… I pressed my fist against my head and started to walk away.

"Adam, baby no! I need you here, what's wrong with my head? Is it bad? I don't feel it…" Tommy looked worried, but I didn't comfort him much I just sat there and nodded with a blank face.

"Wait what? How… I fell that hard? I…I…?" Tommy was speechless, he didn't know what the back of his head looked like nor felt the pain with it. I broke the stare and told Tommy to sit down and let me see his head, he cautiously sat down with his hand on his head and looked at me, I twisted his head forward breaking the stare and examined the damage. With Tommy's haircut it looked worse then it really was, I'm pretty sure he scrapped his head along the wooden dresser because there was a long open bloody cut straight down the middle of his head, the blood was all over the back of his head so it looked worse once again. Overall, it was bad, but the look made it look fatal. The best I could do was take him to the nearest hospital. My face dropped, I didn't want to cry, nor be upset, I guess I was more disappointed then anything else. In that split second when I felt him fall out of my grip I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat, for how much I love Tommy I can honestly say it kills me. Living without him just isn't an option for me.

"Okay, so… This is fun!" Tommy was being sarcastic, but he laughed and as did I. Tommy's head was still spewing blood, it refused to stop, his white V-Neck was not stained red and his hands looked like he had just committed a murder, the funny thing was Tommy was calm about it, he knows it hurt but he choose not to show emotion, that makes the situation more calm, thank god. The last thing I need right now is a load of more drama. The blood started to drip down my arm from holding pressure, so I quickly took a towel and lightly touched the back of his head with it, Tommy flinched and my heart skipped a beat just for a second, Looking at how much I'd hurt him here, I didn't even want to be near him I was so afraid I'd touch him and he'd get worse.

"Deep breaths, it's starting to stop bleeding, a little. The driver is on his way to the hospital right now… Just stay calm…" I talked like I would to a child that was lost, keep them calm and quiet.

"Adam? You're coming with me in the emergency room, right?" His voice got lower and lower as he talked more. I listened closer, something was getting worse… His head might have been worst then it looked like.

"No… I've caused enough. Have your alone time, love. I'll be here when you return." I took his hand and looked up at his face, his eyelids were half closed and his skin was pale… I examined him closer; his breathing became softer and slower.

"I never want time away from you…" He looked straight into my eyes and then leaned back as if he felt weak. My hand slid away from his as he loosened his grip, his eyes slowly started to fall… But I clapped my hands and yelled.

"TOMMY! Don't go to sleep. Just don't…" I took his body and faced him upright and lightly tapped his cheek for him to open his eyes, but he didn't…

"But Adam… I'm so tired…" His head dropped onto my chest and his arms wrapped around me, I could feel his heart beat, slow and soft like a newborn baby, so peaceful.

The bus then came to a complete stop; I looked out the window and saw the hospital. Tommy had been sleeping for about 2 minutes now and I hadn't noticed, I quickly tapped his cheek again and he didn't respond, I shook him just a bit and he flinched… just a bit…

"Tommy! Tommy! Get up; we're here, baby, C'mon!" My voice got louder with every word I spit out, but Tommy didn't move, I panicked. I gently flopped Tommy's body over my shoulder and carried him out of the bus; I tried to set him to his feet, he felt like a rag doll then, he didn't stand. My knees started to shake, my heart raced. As Tommy was over my shoulder I was sprinting, the entrance to the hospital felt so damn far from where the bus had been parked. Tommy mumbled and I suddenly stopped…

"What?"

"Where the hell are you taking me?" Tommy eyebrows went down and he looked wasted.

"You're at the hospital, baby. You hit your head, remember?" I took his hand but he jerked away…

"Who are you? Where is it your place to drag me to a damn hospital? I never hit my head, you're such a creep." Tommy started to wobble out the door, he wasn't in control of his body now, he limped and fell and tried to drag himself out the door, but every time he failed. I didn't want to touch him, but I felt I had to force him into the emergency room, I just didn't have any clue how to... He got to the entrance door and fell to his knees, I watched for a second to see if he would get up, but he just wobbled back and fourth and eventually hit the floor, but before he hit the floor he was already secure in my arms. Over my shoulder again, I walked him to recovery. On the outside I was calm and quiet, but on the inside I was balling tears and yelling at myself "You're such an idiot! Look what you did! This would have never happened if you weren't here!" Over and Over and….over again. I refused to let it get to me. I released Tommy to the doctors; they took him and panicked… In a matter of about 3 seconds he was on a stretcher and out of my sight… I felt one tear run down my cheek, leaving Tommy to the doctors was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and the worst part is I don't know if he's going to be okay, a few more tears ran down as well. I took a seat, covered my face in my hands and just let it all out…Chapter 7

Changes

I hear talking, speakers or intercoms; I hear doors open and close and doctor's rush in an out of everywhere. I can honestly say I hate hospitals, it's pretty depressing to be in one or involved with someone that's also, not the happiest place to be I'd say. I saw the room Tommy was taken into, I glanced at it, about 7 doctors were in there. I didn't think his injury was that bad… I sighed and starred at Tommy's door. My heart beat a steady rate, but if someone had read my face they'd see worry, sadness, and regret. I sat there is agony just waiting for his arrival. There were people taking pictures of my every move, people starring and even people shadowing me. Eventually they worked up the nerve to come and ask for my autograph, I found it a bit rude to ask in my situation, but I've given up privacy to live the life I'm living now and this is what comes with it. Of course, I love seeing how dedicated my fans are, but right now wasn't the best time for me to show my appreciation to them. So, I just painted a smile on my face and got through it. After the signing I decided to wait outside and maybe just head out to the tour bus. When I got outside I heard a loud yell and my name…

"ADAM!" I twitched and turned around…But nothing. There was no one behind me, and when I looked back inside the hospital everyone was just sitting there like nothing happened… I shut my eyes and rubbed my face, then opened them again. I guess my mind was playing tricks on me. At this point I was walking in circles, I wanted to rest back in the bus, but I wanted to have Tommy right next to me, holding me as well. I thought…Am I being selfish? All I want is Tommy, nothing else… Of course I don't think so, but what does it look like in the view of others? I have to back off; wanting someone this much isn't healthy.

A couple hours past, I just sat by the entrance of the hospital, refusing to move. I had intended to go back to the tour bus and wait for Tommy there, but I couldn't bring myself to exit the hospital any further then I already did, I had a gut wrenching feeling that he would be done any minute now. That feeling also started about 2 hours ago…

About 20 minutes later I see Monte and LP come my way; I stand up and lean against the wall. LP runs over to me and stopped in his tracks about 10 feet away from me, while Monte comes a bit closer.

"Hey Adam, Is Tommy okay?" Monte questioned. I simply gave him a shake of the head and closed my eyes.

"Adam, what happened? Did you get him to the emergency room on time?" LP was inching closer to me as he spoke.

"Uh, Well, Yea. But something strange happened before he was taken away..." I said while looking down at my shoes. LP and Monte were all ears when I announced that, they obviously wanted to hear more by the expression on there faces. I gave them a slight smile because, for some reason there faces looked funny. This was no laughing matter, but maybe I'm going nuts.

"Well, when I got him in the hospital he woke up and started yelling and cursing at me, he didn't know who I was or who he was… he didn't know WHERE he was… It scared me. Then he tried to walk out of the hospital, he kind of limped and wobbled out. But by the time he got to the door he gave up and just fell… I don't know what the hell was going on, but I caught him before he fell again and handed him to the doctors. By the expression on the doctor's faces, it didn't seem like Tommy was going to be okay, but I can feel it… He's going to be fine, I just know it." I set my hands beside my waist and looked back up at Monte and LP, they didn't say a word. Suddenly we all heard an intercom voice yell out "Adam, please report to the front desk, Adam please report to the front desk." I looked at Monte and LP and then walked away, Monte started to follow but LP held him back. LP and Monte walked back to the bus then while I entered the hospital once more…

Nothing had changed inside the hospital, no one moved; everything was the same from when I had left. I approached the front desk and waited, my heart raced and I could feel my face gradually getting hotter. The lady then came to the desk and looked me straight in the eyes and looked stunned, I looked behind me and back at her, confused.

"Well, look at what we have here! It's Adam Lambert! Oh, you know you should have won American Idol." By this time today, I was getting annoyed with people noticing who I was, No one should be concerned on whom I am, but they need to be focused on helping me first.

"Yes, thank you. Umm, Tommy Ratliff, can I have the status on him please?" I laid my hands on the desk and looked her in the eyes once again; I'm not going to dwell on my fame with this woman. The lady then shuffled some papers and explored her computer information right then, I waited. She sighed and showed he the room he was in; she held my hand and opened the door for me as I entered. I looked back while the lady examined me for a second and then left. I saw Tommy; I can't find a word for how he looked. But he appeared to be fixed, but far from it. His head was wrapped with white cloth looking bandages with a tint of red seeping through from his bloody head. His arms rested on the sides of his body and his eyes were shut, he simply looked like he was peacefully sleeping, I don't know if he was or not though. The number of wires attached to Tommy was unbelievable; he had them extending from his arms and head, down to his neck and around his wrists, also on his fingers. I heard his monitor beep at a steady rate; I loosened my body and sat down next to his bed. I took a good look at this man, this man that I would do anything for, the man that truly put me in cloud 9 when I saw his beautiful face light up, I looked at him, studied him, I looked at the man who I couldn't possibly hurt, it would hurt me more then it hurt him, but I had to do this… I couldn't do it anymore. Tears started to run down my face, my heart told me no, that this wasn't the right thing to do… I won't listen. I've experienced enough of this. The tears ran down nonstop, but I took Tommy's hand and tightened my grip.

"Tommy, I know you know this, but I love you so much it hurts. To explain how much I feel for you isn't possible, but today I realized that I've put you in a position I don't ever want you to experience ever again. The agony that I went through today was unbearable. I just wanted you to be okay…" I took a deep breathe and continued. "And now I look at you, all broken and weak and… defenseless. Do you know how hard it is to look at the one I love possibly be on the track of permanent injury or death? I know you're going to be okay, so I wanted to let you know, that uh… I can't live without you, but it's not about me anymore, I've been disgustingly selfish. Tommy, I won't let myself to this to you, I don't deserve you. "I took a second to breathe and let the tears fall once again, then ended my speech.

"Tommy, you mean more then the world to me, I just hope that you'll find a place in your heart to remember that I love you more then you know." I looked down and at his face once more, and leaned over his face…Chapter 8

Leave

My lips lightly touched his forehead, knowing that I was leaving him right after this visit; I wanted to take the longest possible time before I absolutely had to leave. While my lips are still tracing his face, I stop… look down at his broken face and take his hand.

"You know I'm sorry." I wiped the tears and made my way out the door, when I stopped at the exit of the door I caught a glance of Tommy moving, he shook his head and twitched his arms. My heart raced, I was debating on if I should leave or stay with Tommy, of course my selfishness took over and I decided to stay and keep him comfortable, I can only imagine being in a hospital by yourself, and no one being there that actually cared. For how much I care about Tommy, I'd be here every single minute just because I knew it would make him happy. I walked back to the chair that sat next to the bed; I gently sat down and examined Tommy. I could see his eyes starting to open and his body starting to shake, I waited for him regain consciousness. When his eyes were open he flinched, he jerked forward and saw all the wires attached to his body, he looked left and right and realized he was in the hospital then. I sat there and watched his reaction until he caught a glimpse of me and saw that I was here. He loosened and looked into my eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong? Your face is pink…" He lifted his arm with all the wires attached and reached over to my leg; I refused his arm and forced it back onto his bed.

"Tommy, I did this…" I knocked my head down and shivered, his touch was so cold.

"Stop! I don't want to hear that! Just stop it Adam! You didn't do this, my stupidity took a hold of me and I made the wrong decision. Don't blame this on yourself, please." Tommy started to shake his head and his face flushed pink, I could feel him wanting to cry, but I knew he was holding it in.

"No…! I bet if I would have kept my grip we wouldn't be here. Tommy look at yourself! There must be a million wires attached to you right now! And look at your face… Tommy don't you feel how many bandages are on your head? I can't bare to look at you; the beautiful face I know is broken! And I did it! Now don't tell me I didn't do it…" I jumped out of the chair and flailed my arms and shouted in a hushed tone, I could feel my face getting hotter with anger.

"Adam, please! Your fault or not I don't care! The real situation is that I'm okay and we'll be back to normal when I leave this place. Take my hand, please… "Tommy held out his hand just a bit so the wires wouldn't move… I starred at it and looked down at him.

"No, it won't be normal. Tommy I've never done so much damage to a person. I wont let myself be with you knowing that in the back of your mind you'll never forget the day that you broke your head open, but listen…when you think of that incident, who will you think of? Me, you're not going to think of Monte or LP or cam! I'm the one who lost the grip and let you fall and hit your head! I'll never live that down, never!"

"Adam, the incident is a blur to me. Yes, I know what happened, but the little details I don't remember."

Right then the doctor came in to check on Tommy's heart beat and blood pressure. When he was done he took my arm and asked me to follow, I glanced back at Tommy who was now feeling his head, trying to figure out how big his scar was. The doctor brought me into a room where Tommy couldn't hear or see us.

"Listen Mr. Lambert, Tommy's condition was extremely bad when we got him, luckily when we were finished with him he didn't have any brain damage or amnesia. He'll always have the scar following along the back of his head; maybe he should consider growing his hair out long so it won't be noticeable. I didn't want to talk about this in front of Tommy because, well, I think he's had enough drama for today. He may have a couple side effects from the medicine we're giving him, without the medicine he'll be in excruciating pain. The side effects extend from brief black outs to minor head aches or anything in between. I just wanted you to inform you of this so when he leaves you'll have some background on his condition." I stalled for a couple seconds rocking back and fourth on my feet trying to think.

"When can he leave?" I looked up his face and looked down and then looked back at his face again, I refused to have eye contact with him for some reason. Honestly, I wasn't in the mood to be talking to anyone, I wanted to sulk in my room, but I knew I couldn't, I have no choice but to talk this out with Tommy.

"He can leave today or early tomorrow. What ever works best for you?"

"Thank you so much for your help, Doctor. I'd like to take him right now if that's okay? We have to hit the road, we're late now." The doctor nodded and proceeded to discharge Tommy from the hospital. I walked back into Tommy's room to find him past out. I laughed to myself; it was the medicine they feed him through his blood so he won't freak out.

After all the paper work I had to sign and all the doctors I had to talk to, Tommy and I were finally on our way back to the tour bus. As we walked out Tommy had his arm securely over my shoulder to keep his balance. His medicine made his a bit dysfunctional. I looked over at Tommy, who was gently closing his eyes and opening them repeatedly,

"Tommy, are you okay?" I stopped walking half way to the bus and looked into Tommy's eyes; I held his chin up to look at me.

"No, the back of my head is throbbing." Tommy's medicine was wearing off from when they last gave it to him. I nodded and smiled at him; he looked up and tried to smile back. Right then I swept him off his feet and carried him to the bus, his head fell onto my shoulder and his hands tightened securely on the back of my neck. As I was walking I dropped my head down to his, I could smell the leftover blood from his head, but I didn't care. I thought to myself, I promised myself that I would let him go, to separate, but now that I look back on it, I'm not being selfish I don't think. Tommy needs me equal to how much I need him. He's that one piece that fits perfectly into my puzzle.

When we finally reached the bus, Monte, LP, and Cam were all sitting on the couch with there head down. I busted through the door, mainly because Tommy was starting to get a bit heavy and I couldn't carry him too much longer. I gently laid him on my bed in the back of the bus and left to go and measure how much medicine he needed to take.

"Adam! What's the deal with Tommy now?" LP quickly walked over to me once I left my room where Tommy was.

"LP, he's fine. He just has some heavy medicine he needs to take for him to numb the pain." I walked pass him to get to the kitchen, but LP followed. He wouldn't leave; he was literally riding on the back of my shoes. I didn't catch why he was all over me, but I was about to find out.

"Okay, calm down. I'm going to get his medicine, you can relax." I calmly spoke and looked into LP's eyes.

"Dude, I just wanted to make sure Tommy was alright. Chill…." LP held his hands up in surrender.

"Yea, I know. But I told you he was fine. You can calm now…" I turned around and tried to calm LP down.

"Okay, I knew this would happen, man… Whatever. I try to care and it back fires in my face! I'm tired of you people up in here… "LP walked out of the bus then, and my mouth droppedChapter 9

I proceeded to Tommy's side to give him his medicine. I felt so bad to what happened to Tommy, I felt as if it was my entire fault. I felt as if I was causing so much trouble. Tommy hurt, I upset LP, and I was feeling as if I was causing more harm then good. I went into my bedroom. I saw Tommy lying silently and still in my bed. I closed the door behind me ever sp calmly to not to disturb him. As I did Tommy cracked open his eyes. His voice crackled and murmured

"Hey Adam, I've missed you…"

I jokingly replied "I'm here to play nurse. I've got your medicine? If you want it?" I went to and got a bottle of water, I could feel Tommy eyes on me, I felt them creeping along my body. I turned and sat on the bed next to him. He slowly opened his mouth, cluing me to put the pill in his mouth, so I did. I reached and slid the pill ever so softly into tummy's mouth, his lips tingled my finger tips as the pill fell so softly in. I have never felt more, more, more nervous, excited, and vulnerable in my whole life. Tommy whispered to me ever so softly into my ear, "Adam, I think I love you…"

My heart dropped, I was shocked, and I was stunned. I reached into the deepest pits of my stomach for the words, but they wouldn't come. I wanted to say I love you back but I couldn't, "Tommy…"

but Tommy cut me off before I could finish, I just remember the next feeling of his lips on mine, so soft and subtle. He laid his hand on my face and stroked my hair away from my eyes.

"You have the most beautiful eyes Adam"

I couldn't grasp the words to tell him how beautiful he was, and how I love him, but I knew they escape me, so the only way to show him was with actions, I bent forward and kissed Tommy, I felt Tommy's tongue slip into my mouth, it was the most amazing kiss I think I've experienced in my life, Tommy slowly moved his hands up and down my back, he grabbed my hair and pulled, I let a out a small moan and we began to kiss ever so passionately, my heart raced and raced, Tommy grabbed my arms and pulled me onto my back, I never knew he was so strong, I haven't seen this dominant, powerful side of Tommy before, but all I know is, that I liked it.

Tommy got up from the bed and locked the door. "Tommy, we can't, Monte…" Tommy reassured me and he whispered, "Adam, I want you, your mine and I'm yours, I don't care, and they can hear for all I care…"

Tommy came back to the bed, crawled up to me and we laid on top one another. He quickly removed my Shirt as I slowly unbuckled his belt. He then began to go further with unstrapping my pants; I cracked a smile and slid his shirt off. Then we came to a stand still with Tommy having a bit of a problem, he struggled to remove my pants, they happen to be hugging my legs as tight as possible, it was quite difficult for him.

"Tommy, I can't even get my own pants off, I don't think you can..." he chuckled and yanked them off in one jerk. The room was so hot, our bodies exploded in sexual ecstasy, Tommy was amazing, and I felt one with him. I screamed in pleasure, I moaned in excitement. I screamed Tommy's name so loudly my throat was hoarse. As Tommy finished he screamed in pleasure. It was the most amazing moment of passion in my life. The windows of the bedroom were fogged; Tommy and I were drenched in sweat, moaning and groaning, and out of breath. I snuggled close to Tommy's warm body, and slowly we fell asleep in each others arms. That night, Tommy was mine and I was his, that night I knew, I realized that no one can come between us, not the media, the band, no one. That night was the night when my mind went free and nothing mattered anymore except for Tommy and I.

The next morning was a total drag, but the last night was beyond unexplainable. It was totally worth the feeling I have now. My hair was just, everywhere, my body was so sore, but the best part was the first face I saw in the morning was Tommy's. I can honestly say when he woke up he'd have the same reaction to how he looked. I slowly wobbled out of the bed and rubbed my eyes, my face looked just terrible it was hilarious. I brushed my hair to make it look half decent and walked out into the sitting room; I walked out to come to see Cam reading the newspaper and LP sitting with his guitar and Monte in the kitchen. I quickened to fix my hair once again to look better, but it was a complete fail. I didn't want my entire band to know that Tommy and I had made love the night before, well, I didn't mind, I would just like it to look like I didn't, as in my hair and my entire facial expression read that I was sore from previous activities.

"Well, isn't it just a wonderful Tuesday morning?" I stretched my arms and yawned.

"G'morning, Adam! Do you want something to eat?" Monte yelled across the bus.

"Uh, No. Thank you though." I could feel if I ate anything right now, I'd puke it later, how lovely…

"Did you guys know that there is a sale on these amazingly cute shoes this week ONLY? I HAVE to have them!" Cam stuck the newspaper into her face, closely looking at the shoes, I laughed so loud that my voice cracked from losing it last night, Apparently Cam and Monte heard the crack in my voice and started laughing while LP just sat there expressionless playing a soft melody on his guitar. He looked up into my eyes, glared into them and broke the stare then continuing with his melody. I looked away and started to talk to Cam about those shoes on sale. Suddenly Tommy jumped on the the couch and kissed my cheek and smiled at everyone.

"Good morning! God, well, I'm in a GREAT mood today." I could feel Tommy's heart beating faster as the more hyper he got. I smiled back at him, out of no where LP jumped out of his seat and left the room, his chair flew a couple inches backward as he pushed it away with his body as he left, Tommy looked dumbfounded.

"I think he's going back to sleep…" Tommy softly said…Chapter 10

After LP left the room everyone went back to doing whatever they were doing before. No one wanted to put up with any more drama, but Tommy wouldn't let it go. Tommy just stood there after LP left and looked depressed and blank faced. I looked over at him and laughed, I rarely see Tommy depressed and for some reason I found it funny.

"I'm going to go talk to LP. See you guys." Tommy got up and left, but then came back smiling.

"Maybe I should look a little bit more decent before walking in his room." Tommy walked into my room and fixed himself up a little.

"So Adam, our next show is in Rochester, New York. What do you want the set list to be for that one?" Monte sat down next to me and we discussed the set list.

"The last set list was a bit boring, eh? How about we Glam it up more this time! Like you know, more Glitter and just go crazy!" I flailed my arms in the air trying to demonstrate how much I wanted this concert to be better then all the others we've done so far.

"I love it! Love it, love it!" Monte laughed and then it faded.

"So, what are we doing today, bud?" I lay on hand on Monte's shoulder and laughed.

"Alright man, with the situation we've been going through, we're late! Like seriously, we have to be on the road as much as possible. It sucks, but whateve..." Monte stood silent for a second, he held his hand up in signal for me not to start talking, I held my breath in from what I was about to say and listened closely..

"Dude, no! I don't care about this BAND anymore… I've tolerated enough. This much drama is too much." LP was silently shouting so that no one else could hear him throughout the bus. I couldn't hear anymore because Tommy spoke in a hushed tone while LP blasted his voice over Tommy's. Monte looked wide eyed.

"Gosh, Adam. What's been up with LP lately?"

"Um, I guess it started when Tommy and I kind of got together. Since then he's been acting weird."

Monte and I continued our conversation, when suddenly Monte and I heard a door slam and LP walking out of his room with Tommy silently walking behind him. Monte's eyes darted across the room where LP's presence was clear. Honestly, I don't think Monte meant to say this out loud, but it might have slipped,

"Is it because of Adam and Tommy that you're leaving?" Monte blurted out. LP turned around and spoke,

"This band is just not for me, I'm sorry guys. Don't get me wrong, this band is amazing, maybe one of the best I've ever been in, but there comes a time when you have to think 'Do I really belong here?' and that's what I did. Maybe I sort of expressed it in a bad way, but what's done is done. I've made up my mind." LP set his bags down and slouched a bit, I don't know where he was going, the bus was still moving, and as a matter of fact we were still on the road? I sat back, folded my arms and watched everyone plead for LP to stay. Cam got up and took LP's arm,

"Hun, you're not leaving. You're part of our Glamily…" Cam smiled at turned to face LP.

"I won't change my mind guys, I've been doing some hard thinking and my decision is made. I'm sorry Cam."

"LP, you won't think you'll regret this?" I finally spoke.

"No, but I think you will." LP answered, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. It knocked into some information that I was totally missing… When was the last time I've actually talked to LP other then about music? Actually, when have I seen anyone talk to LP about anything other then music…? I've noticed with him having being in the band, that he's a really big loner. He doesn't talk too much; he keeps his business to himself all the time. You never hear LP talking about how much he's so depressed and no one talks to him. I guess none of us really took the time to ask LP how it is going. Or what's up? I'd think no one would really think about it because he doesn't look like the kind of person to come out about his feelings.

"I told the driver to drop me off at the nearest exit; from there I can find my way." LP finished off, I can tell he had already made up his mind, and there was no converting him back.

"Find your way to where?" I said.

"I've lined up another band from back in the day, I know them, there're like my brothers." My heart sank, LP basically told us that he doesn't want to be here and that he'd be happier with a substitute band. I don't know what I did, but I know now that no one can replace LP. You don't know how much you have to be happy for until it's gone.

Later that night I sat on my bed with a soft melody playing on my stereo, the song rang in my ears. There was so much on my mind at this moment, so much that I would think my head could explode. But what hit me was that LP was gone for good. He'd left a couple hours ago, and now there was an empty space in the bus, an empty space that couldn't be replaced just perfectly, there is always going to be a little bit of emptiness that the band is going to see without LP. The thought of LP leaving ran through my mind nonstop, I needed something to keep my mind off the negatives. I though of Tommy, I hadn't talked to him since LP left, I wondered where he was. I got up and glanced around; Tommy was chilling on the couch alone. He looked like he was doing some heavy thinking. I jumped to his side and rested my arm around his; he glared at me and turned his head the opposite way.

"Playing hard to get…?" I cracked a smile and kissed his cheek; he jerked away and leaped off the couch. He started to walk out, but turned around and spoke,

"I don't know what to do…" Then he left my sight, my mind was left to wonder about a million things. That night I slept alone and 11

I woke up the next day around 1 O'clock. When I saw what time it was I leaped out of bed and rushed into the sitting room to find nothing, I looked around and sighed. I looked at the clock again and what I didn't notice was that it was 1 in the morning. To find myself in my boxer shorts in the sitting room at 1 in the morning and me not knowing why, I'd think it was a sign of me going a bit nuts. I laughed to myself and sat down, the room was dark and cold and I looked out the window and saw the lights of Rochester, New York. I found examining the lights pass by as entertaining. I thought, I'm excited to be performing here. I backed away from the window, but I happen to bump into something hard. I jumped and let out a breath of fear, I turned around to find Tommy with wide eyes.

"Shh! don't be so loud, bud." He jumped a little and held my mouth.

"What you doing awake?" I asked, Tommy turned around again and laughed.

"Oh, I can't sleep. I was going to take my medicine, my head hurts." Tommy felt his head and flinched.

"I totally forgot about your head, Tommy. You want me to look and see how it's progressing?" I thought about the incident, It never crossed my mind after the night he came back from the hospital, he's never showed any emotion of his head at all since then.

"Oh yea, could you?" Tommy sat down on the couch with his head down so I could see his head, but the room was dark. I took my phone light and shined it on the back of his head. His head looked so much better, it was getting better and I was relieved. I moved his hair around to see everything else, he had a couple bruises that came with hitting his head, but everything else looked good.

"It looks a lot better, baby." I let go of Tommy's head and backed away so he could head on to the kitchen to get his medicine. Tommy nodded and walked into the kitchen. I slowly walked toward him, my mind flickered back to when he jerked away from me yesterday, I wasn't quite sure he was over that yet…

Tommy opened the cabinet and looked around and found the little bottle, he took the pill and walked out. As he passed me I grabbed his hand and brought him to face me, he tilted his head forward and refused eye contact. I held his head up and kissed his forehead, he shut his eyes and took one deep breath; I started to make my way to his neck until he took his hand and forced my chest forward with his hand. He refused intimacy lately, I wondered.

"Adam, I know what you must be thinking right now, but I just can't." He let go of my hand and headed to his room, "I'll see you later for the show, and I'm tired, good night." He left then, in my head I was yelling at him, but on the outside I stood motionless. After he left I sat on the couch and eventually drifted to a sleep.

A good thanks to Monte and Cam's laughing that seemed to wake me up. I woke up and looked down to see that I was in my boxer shorts and Monte laughing at me, Cam just sat there and smiled, I laughed as well.

"Oh god, Adam… I don't want to know what happened last night." Monte couldn't control himself, little did he know nothing happened, but he didn't need to know that. How about I make his morning with a laugh, soon enough I joined.

"Ha…Ha… Good one Monte." I smiled and put a hint of sarcasm in my words, Cam laughed. I walked into my room and looked on the floor for some quick pants I could put on in less then a minute, nothing skin tight like usual, nothing. I found Tommy sitting on the other side of my bed with his head down, I walked over to him, pants less.

"Are you okay, bud?" I laid my hand on Tommy's shoulder and looked into his eyes. When he looked up I saw his face had a tint of pink to it, he must have been upset.

"I'm fine. What makes you think otherwise?" My face dropped and I wanted to give him sarcasm, but I didn't, I felt he was too sensitive at the moment, so I just chuckled and walked away.

"I'm in your room, I know. I just needed to think about something and I think well when I'm around the things of the person I'm thinking about, don't ask why." Tommy lifted and started to leave, I stopped him.

"I don't like to see you this way…" I looked down at him. Tommy gave me a dirty look and spoke,

"Then don't look at me at all, I guess." He let go of my grip and slowly walked out of the room. I watched him walk out. By this time, I wasn't sure what was going through that mind of his. I sighed. I shut my door and took my time getting dressed, the whole outfit, makeup, hair and look took about an hour an a half. By the time I was done, I was starving. I made lunch, sat on the couch and just chilled. I finished and started to clean, the bus was a mess. I decided I had a boat load of time until the concert later today and that I would go all out on trying to make this bus look amazing! So I took soap and water, got onto my hand and knees and started to scrub the floor. Of course this would ruin my entire outfit, I realized that after I saw that my jeans had water all over them, I sighed and laughed to myself, I don't think too much sometimes.

A couple hours passed, I wiped the sweat from my forehead and looked at the bus for an overview on my hard work, and I could swear I saw a sparkle come from the floor. I checked my hair, still amazing, and my outfit? Not so much, plus I smelt like cleaning chemicals. I quickly changed my outfit and sprayed Dior Homme, looked in the mirror, looking good! I was in an amazing mood at the moment and I kind of pranced into the other room. Monte caught me and smiled,

"I always seem to catch you doing the weirdest things." He announced.

"Do I look like the person to do normal things?" I answered Monte's question with a question, always thinking.

"You've got a point there, I guess." Right then Tommy walked out fully dressed and ready to exit the bus and into the amp theater. I gave him a good look, his hair was perfectly brushed to wear you couldn't even tell he had scars, his outfit shone as well, he had a nice looking snug white shirt with a black design of his full name on it. I've never seen that shirt before, it appeared to be hand-made, I guess. He wore tight skinny jeans as usual, with his signature black platform boots. A smile began to grow across my face, he looked quite good from my point of view, he shot a look at me and slightly smiled. He began to walk toward me,

"Adam, I have to-" He was cut off by the bus driver.

"You guys! We're here!" Tommy sighed.

"I guess I'll see you out there." He 12

With my hand on the curtain and only Tommy on my mind, I slowly stepped out into the darkness of the stage. I could only hear the dedicated screaming fans; they love a good dramatic entrance. The music began and the light started to fade in, I tilted my head up and looked out, over 10 thousand people here, all watching me, watching my every move. Performing had never hit me this hard, having to think twice about what I'm about to do, when trying to entertain, I believe winging it would be best, raise a couple eyebrows is always something fun to do. My body moved with the introduction to the music, the fans screams gradually increased. I looked out, lifted the microphone to my face and went at it.

Rochester was amazing, so much energy, they enjoy what it is given. The concert hit a half point, I was out of breath, I've given the last hour my best, and it seemed to be working. At this time in the show, "If I Had You" starts, but I decided to make a little speech.

"Alright everybody," I lowered the microphone and waited for people to slowly hush, "This may be one of the best concert's ever," The crowd screamed, I continued "Your energy and power is incredible. But I want you to know the real meaning of why I've put this show on for you guys, With having being a pop icon and all… I've noticed that people come and go; all kinds of people and you have to realize who and what means the most to you, here, you can let it all go, you can become worry-free here. This show is to dig the message in your brain that no matter how much Money, Fame, Fortune or Sex you have in your life, which means absolutely NOTHING unless you're connected with love…" I tilted my head down and started to mimic the music with a dance. Suddenly, I heard the bass shut off, I quickly turned around and saw Tommy gently setting his bass guitar down. I dropped my arm to my side and watched him approach me, that moment, looking into his eyes as he gradually became closer to me meant everything in the world. He shot me a quick smile and crouched to grab the microphone from my hand.

"Hi," Tommy started off, the crowd screamed and quickly hushed. "Lately, it's been rough. Nothing can always go the way you want it to, but the one thing you can't do is let it get to you, you know, the pain and depression. All it will do is knock you back down to where you started. Umm, my… Adam, god… "Tommy looked into the light and back down at his microphone, "I love him more then anything, honestly, I couldn't live without him. I know he doesn't know this … because, I don't show it very well. I just hope he knows this all the time; I'll never stop loving him." Tommy turned to face me then, "I've been avoiding him lately and I'm sure he must be confused. Adam, you can't tell me I'm amazing and perfect and you can't live without me, I'm nothing compared to what you already are. I don't deserve you, at all. But I'm what I am, I can't change. So, I hope and pray you'll settle for just me?" When Tommy announced his true love for me, I tried to dig deep for the words I wanted to say, but he's hit me so hard that I couldn't do just that. I was love struck by Tommy Joe Ratliff, my only one true love, ever. Without any words, I grabbed him and just a bit forceful pressed my lips against his, he dropped the microphone, it made the loudest noise. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and mine around his neck, he mimicked me. He tilted his head, his forehead touching mine, and oh so softly he whispered, "Adam, there is an audience…" he laughed and let go. I looked out and heard the crowd awe. I looked down; my cheeks blushed and I bent down to grab the microphone,

"Thank you everyone, so much! For everything…" The biggest smile stretched across my face then. My energy then boosted, I felt the urge to dance with all I had, and so I did. The concert ended well, I had my baby back and he knows now that he'll have me as long as he wants, forever and always.

As soon as everything came to a close and as I made sure the fans had the best time they'll been thinking about for the next 2 years, I headed backstage. I took a good look in the mirror and checked everything, fixed my hair a bit and wiped the sweat from my face. But as I was fixing everything I felt Tommy's body press against my back, I jerked forward hitting the makeup and brushes on the table in front of me, he laughed.

"Oh, Adam you don't need to put any of that on for me, ever. Just so you know, do you really think I'd sink that low that I would only judge you on your physical appearance? Never… You're beautiful and perfect just being … you." Tommy grabbed my face and kissed me so gently and so passionately that my entire body loosened, I felt at peace with him by my side, always.

"I just want you to be happy, babe." I gave him a shy smile awaiting his response.

"Only with you I am. I wouldn't want to be happy any other way." Tommy interlocked his fingers in mine, looked into my eyes and 13

Last night was the most amazing night ever, by far in my top favorites. This morning when I awoke, I turned around and Tommy wasn't there. I shrugged and got dressed. I walked out into the sitting room like every morning to see what everyone is up to and spotted Monte and Cam, as usual. Monte smiled and as did Cam as well.

"Good morning, buddy!" Monte shouted.

"Good morning to yo-!" I shouted back, but I couldn't finish because I was laughing to hard. Monte can always make me smile, anytime, anywhere. I don't know what it is, but I know that's why he's my best friend. I sat down and started to talk to Monte when I spotted Tommy coming my way with a breakfast plate.

"For my love…" Tommy had made me breakfast, I thought back to maybe that's why I didn't see him in bed when I woke up. I smiled so big I could feel my face starting to hurt, I leaned forward and lightly touched his lips so that I wouldn't drop the plate, in the process of our kiss he ducked his head laughing like an idiot, I couldn't help but join, I didn't know why. About 30 seconds late I found out that Monte was mocking me behind my back, I gave him a sarcastic mad look, but of course I couldn't keep a straight face.

"Do you guys KISS like every second?" Monte leaned over Cam so that he could get Tommy and I in view.

"Well, Monte… originally, no. But just looking at Adam, wouldn't you want to get as much as you can?" My face dropped when Tommy said that, Monte was dying… I could have sworn he would have fallen on the floor laughing if Cam wasn't there to calm him. When I finished my breakfast I lifted from the couch and cracked Monte a smile, a sarcastic one. He winked back and Tommy laughed. I went to go clean the dishes when Tommy sped in front of me,

"Adam, no. This is my day to impress you. I'll do the dishes, you just relax." I smiled and nodded, honestly, I don't know what I would do without Tommy, and I think I'd go insane.

When Tommy finished the dishes, he walked over to the sitting room area. "Alright you guys today is my treat in EVERYTHING. We've all been working so hard, part of the hard work is because of me. So, today I want everyone to be worry free, all day today I want a smile on everyone's face. This is what I was thinking about doing, you can change it around, but this is what I have: Okay, First I planned on making breakfast for my lovely Adam, then by the time we've all gotten to eat and all that I was thinking Adam and I can take a walk on the beach that I've personally reserved for us at 2 o'clock." Tommy winked at me, I couldn't help but blush. "While we're on the beach Monte and Cam, You guys are going shopping. Go crazy, no limit on anything, it's all on me. But lastly, we head out to the best club in Rochester New York. We're going to let lose… So, how does this sound everyone?" I looked around at everyone's faces; Monte and Cam were ecstatic, while Tommy just stood there smiling and nodding.

"That's what I thought." Tommy said, he chuckled. Tommy clapped his hands and said, "The bus is going to drop us off right here, Monte and Cam… have fun! We'll meet you at the club at 7." Tommy then opened the bus door for me and waited for me to exit, when I stepped out of the bus the only thing I saw, the most beautiful piece of land I have ever seen, the ocean. I couldn't help but not stare at its beauty. Tommy came leaned on me when the bus had left and rested his head onto my shoulder.

"It's nothing compared to you. Let's go!" He grabbed my hand and led me down closer to the water, I saw the water glisten, sparkle, and make the most relaxing sound ever. As Tommy and I slowly walked down the warm sand with out bare feet, he held my hand and kissed me softly, I grabbed his other hand and snuggled his close, we stopped there just hugging, I could have stayed attached to him forever, but I had something to say,

"Tommy, No one compares to how much you mean to me. I can't tell you how much I love you, it's clearly impossible. The time… The time I almost lost you… and it was my fault-"Tommy cut me off, "ADAM! Never, it was an accident!"

"Tommy, listen! It was my fault I didn't hang onto you, I'm always going to feel the blame for it. The emotions I felt when the one that thing that ran through my mind was you, it was terrible. I don't know how I made it through. But seeing you open your eyes and tell me that you love me, made me feel like I was flying again. The little things you do mean the world to me. You're the reason I fly, you're the reason I have the strength to fly. Without you… I'd be lost." I finished, I'd never in my life think that I would speak that to Tommy. Those words came from the bottom of my heart and I still don't think they came out right. Those words that stay bottled up and you'd never think that you'd speak them out loud. To be honest, I felt stupid. I awaited his answer to make me feel like I've said the right thing; I needed him to give me a reaction like he needed to know this.

"You know how I feel about you Adam, my feelings for you are stronger then you think. Honestly, you're not the one to express your love for one too much, and I love it. To me that say that you feel too much for that one specific other that you cannot put them into words. I'll always love you, forever. If something was to happen and you didn't feel that way as well, I would still. I mean it when I say I love you." Tommy face dropped and he looked serious, "I'd NEVER say those 3 words if I knew I didn't mean them, that's not…right." I looked over at him and he was starring straight, his facial expression was angry and innocent looking. I stopped and grabbed his arms, "I wouldn't either, I love you Tommy… I love you so much." He starred into my eyes for a couple seconds and slowly took my face to touch his, his lips started at mine. I tilted my head and grabbed the back of Tommy's head, with my eyes shut, yet still kissing Tommy, I felt his scars that lay on the back of his head, I ran my hand across them, I counted them...1, 2, 3, 4…I stopped. I didn't want to deal with the stress that came with my curiosity. I suddenly felt Tommy's hand slide down my stomach and onto my back and in reverse again, I cracked a smile and I could feel that Tommy knew I did. In that result, he leaned forward making me lean backward, he slid his hands up to my head and started to twist and tangle my hair, while running his fingers through it as well, it felt amazing. I could feel my body coming to relax at this point; I felt one with Tommy once again. Then the wind picked up the speed and busted at Tommy's back sending him to fly a bit forward against my face. I fell backward with Tommy still attached to my face. I landed on my back with the painful "Thump" sound with it. Tommy pulled his face away and starred into my eyes; I opened mine and caught his, I shut them again because my back stung. He jumped off of me and lifted my back so he could examine, he felt around it and put pressure on some points, they all hurt but it was a good feeling of pain knowing that Tommy was trying to ease it. He gave up trying to find a cure, so he settled for a back rub. Tommy laughed,

"Babe, I didn't know you'd fall that hard. I'm sorry." I let out a small breath.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine. The only thing I was thinking about was your beautiful face so close to mine… its breath taking, really." Tommy's face lit up and he smiled

"I don't want you to stop breathing, you know, because I'm so beautiful." I smiled and gave his a cute push, he lost his balance and fell onto the sand. I crawled over on top of him and rested my head on his chest, I then felt his fingers run through my hair again, he took a deep breath.

"I love you." He softly whispered into my ear.

"I love you too, Tommy." I whispered back, it was dark out by this time and I felt my eyes starting to gradually close. Right then I fell asleep knowing I was secure in Tommy's arms.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 14

I heard the ocean waves come up and down the beach; I felt the nice cool breeze that came with it, but so suddenly I felt violent shaking on my right shoulder, I flicked my eyes open and to my surprise it was Tommy shaking me to wake up. Apparently it was time to head out to the club, I couldn't say I didn't want to; I'd just rather stay alone with Tommy on the beach. Soon I got up from resting on the warm sand and followed Tommy to the tour bus. Tommy told me to lie down on the couch, I'd fell asleep in Tommy's arms 3 hours ago, he sat there starring at the stars and thinking about me the whole time, he told me. I blushed and smiled, as usual. Tommy always knows how to take the words from my mouth, leaving me to just smile. It didn't bother me as long as it didn't him either. I sat down on the couch and watched Tommy approach me.

"You fell asleep; I thought you might still be tired, so I told you to lie down. It's okay, it'll be about an hour until we arrive at the club and I'll be here to cuddle with you." Tommy smiled. Honestly, I didn't want to dim the fun on this amazing night, I simply shook my head.

"No, I think I've gotten enough sleep on the beach." I chuckled and gave Tommy a slight smile.

"But you looked to peaceful resting on me, I liked it. And we don't just stay at clubs for an hour… It'll be a while."

"Yes, but this night needs to stay alive, I can't be sleeping?"

"The night won't stay alive if the main character is sleepy, come one babe. It's fine." Tommy gently rested my head on his stomach and lay on the couch, stroking my hair numerous times. He started to hum a slow tempo. I listened carefully; it was his version of "Whataya Want from Me", the version that I was completely obsessed with, it nearly put me on cloud 9. Everything loosened on my body and I gently fell asleep.

I opened my eyes and the first thing I heard was Tommy's infectious laugh, he quickly looked down and noticed that I was awake and took his hand and rested it on my cheek.

"Hey babe, did I wake you?" He asked as I watched his big brown beautiful eyes widen.

"No… Are we close to the club?" I rose from his chest and looked around; Monte, Cam, and Tommy were sitting around me having just talking. Monte answered,

"Well, morning buddy. We'll be at the club in about 10 minutes. Not good morning, just... Yea. Did you have a nice sleep?" I cracked Monte a smile and nodded.

"Actually, yes. I'm going to get ready, fix myself up and we should be there then." I leaned down and kissed Tommy's forehead, he shut his eyes and smiled back at me. When I started to leave the sitting room and into my room, I couldn't help but over hear Tommy say, "I love him so much…" I stopped and took a deep breath. I looked back quietly to see if he said that, he did. I saw Monte and Cam nod in response. I entered my room and the first thing I saw was the clean floor, no clothes on the floor or hanging off of the bed, the best feeling ever. I smiled to myself and looked for the brush and my makeup. I applied my eye makeup so carefully making sure that it looked in top shape. After a while I heard Cam yell, "Adam! We're here! Come on!" I quickly hurried with brushing the gel into my hair to make sure that it stayed in perfect shape the entire night, well, most of it. I finished and sprinted out of my room and saw Monte waiting for me before he got off the bus.

"Well, it's about time Adam!"

"Monte, it takes TIME to look this good, I don't wake up looking like this." I shot him a quick smile and jumped off the bus. I could hear him mock me as he followed me, I giggled.

"I'm glad you think it's funny, hm?" Monte couldn't help but laugh as well at what he had said. We jogged all the way up to the clubs entrance and saw Cam and Tommy waiting there. Tommy had his hands in his pockets because it was about 20 degrees out and Cam had her arm around Tommy's neck to help her keep warm as well. Monte caught up with Cam, he took his jacket off and gently laid it on Cam.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Oh, you didn't have to-"Monte cut her off,

"Why not? I'm fine, you look freezing. Enough, lets head into the club now, shall we?" I saw everyone's face light up and as we entered the club I could feel the bass of the music thump at a steady rate. Flashing lights everywhere, ever other couple is making out in one corner, there are people dancing all up on other people and the club looked like a scene from a sex movie, I can honestly say I love it. Monte takes Cam's hand and walks off, but before he does he stops,

"Don't get too wasted now." He winks at Tommy and I. Tommy winks back and gives him a crooked smile, then he left. Tommy led me straight to the bar and ordered two shots. He yelled over the music,

"God, you look amazing tonight!"

"Nothing compared to you." I winked. He backed away and smiled.

"Oh really?" Tommy then takes a shot, then hands me mine. I drink it and feel a slight buzz coming on. I felt amazing, I ordered two more and scooted closer to Tommy.

"This club is out of control, which means…" I hinted him in,

"We have to be even crazier. Adam, tonight we let lose." He took his shot and lightly tapped my cup, and at the same time we both took it. Tommy slammed his cup onto the bar table and gave me a big smile.

"Dance with me, baby…" I could feel Tommy getting a little bit more then a buzz now. For a person who doesn't drink much, it takes a little less for them to let lose. He took my hand and led me toward the dance floor. I held my hand above my head and started to dance, Tommy slowly got closer and closer to my body as the music increased in volume. I mimicked his movements, but just a bit friskier. He looked up into my eyes and gave me a sexy smile, but suddenly the music stopped and the DJ made a speech,

"Alright, you animals we're going to have a dance-off! The couple who dances the best wins a week long, free admission and drinking pleasures all they want for one whole week! So, we'll give you about 10 minutes to decide on what you're doing!" Tommy looked up at me and smiled.

"Babe, we don't even live here, but we should do it just for the hell of it!" I took his face and quickly kissed him a bit forceful, I could feel he wanted more, but by then I had already pulled away. He looked at me then and took my face again, with more force and more passion; I just followed along as well. Apparently a couple people around us caught sight of us and rooted us on, I back away from Tommy and headed towards the bar as my face flushed. Tommy quickly followed me and gave me a weird look.

"Adam, what the hell?" He took me hand.

"I'm fine, how about we don't draw a crowd? I like that better." I shot him an annoyed face, I could see his slowly up and down scanning my body, and I took his face and slowly lifted it to face me. Without breaking our stare he took another shot, a shot that was lying there, untouched. He was drunk; I refused to act as careless as he did. I'd let lose, but not that lose. Any further and I'd regret it. I pushed the chair out from my bar and gave him the dirtiest look I could, to make sure he grasped that I wasn't kidding.

"I have to use the restroom, get yourself together." Tommy shook his head and turned around so his back faced me, I checked the time from my phone, it was about 12 O'clock and I wondered where Monte and Cam were. I shrugged and decided to look for the later; I examined around for the bathroom and finally found it after about 10 minutes. From my time entering the bathroom from the time I left was the most relaxing experience I've had this entire time in the club. I washed my hands, took my time and then headed out into the eye of the club, I searched around to spot Tommy waiting at the bar, but when I arrived he wasn't present. I looked around for another 20 minutes, but by then I saw him. My mouth dropped and instantly I felt the tears run down my face, Tommy was in the far right corner of the club forcefully making out with a blonde chick, she resembled a stripper from my point of view. I held my hands to my face and just stood there, suddenly Tommy looked up at me and right then his face looked like someone smacked the sense into him. His face read regret… My heart fell and my hands started to shake as I quickly walked away. From the corner of my eye I saw him try to struggle away from her and follow me, but failed. The freezing cold wind hit my face like an explosion as I left the club, I dropped to my knees and looked up at the stars as the pouring rain slowly drenched me and you could no longer tell I was crying…

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 15

Sitting on the curb next to the club in the pouring rain happen to calm me just a bit. I was drenched from head to toe, but I refused to step foot back into the club. A couple people noticed who I was and asked if I needed any help, I knew they were ecstatic on the inside from knowing that they had just seen Adam Lambert. Eventually they left with a helpless look on there face, I responded to none. I felt as of right now as if I was dying, slowly. The type of dying when you feel all of the pain and it doesn't stop until your body can't take it anymore and it just shuts down. My emotions for Tommy are unexplainable; I know he was drunk when he was making out with that chick. I also know that he wouldn't do any of that if he wasn't wasted. But it's the fact that he DID do it, and he wasn't completely wasted, he just had about 3 shots. He was completely aware of what he was choosing to do and he didn't have any intension of trying resisting. I checked my phone for the time, it was 2:30 in the morning and I still didn't have any idea what I was doing from here on out. There is no possible way I'm going to want to see Tommy's face ever again! I've never felt this broken in my entire life. No one compared to how much I loved Tommy, not ever…

I had left my jacket in the club when Tommy and I settled for a couple drinks; the cold was starting to get to me now. I couldn't really feel my finger tips or my nose. I looked around for a place I could stand under until I spotted Monte and Cam, but I found none. I got up and started to walk in circles, so I could get my blood flowing. Suddenly someone came up to me and yelled at me, I flinched at the volume of there voice and looked the person in the eyes.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing out here with NO jacket NOR an umbrella? Here…" The man takes off his jacket and sets it on my shoulders.

"Thank you." My voice shaked, he walked me towards the club entrance. I stopped, "I'm not going in there." I demanded.

"Man, are you NUTS! I don't care what you want to do; you'll die of pneumonia if you don't." I refused to move, the guy stood there for a moment with his arms crossed and his face looking serious.

"I'm serious, I won't!" I could feel my legs starting to shake now, the guy caught sight of it and shook his head.

"Has anyone ever told you you're stubborn?" He took my hand and forced me into the club, "We'll stay right here until you can find someone. Who's here with you?" He started to stare into my eyes, he tilted his head and then snapped himself out of it, and I was confused.

"W-What are you talking about? I'm here with my band Monte and Cam, but I can't find them." The guys face dropped and he looked like he was going to give me sarcasm then.

"So… You decide to wait in the rain, and in the cold?"

"Yes." I simply answered as I cupped my hands and blew warm arm into them.

"Okay, enough with this. Let's look for Marty." He took my hand and fought threw the crowd of dancers.

"His name is Monte…!"

"Whatever."

Throughout the time looking for Monte and Cam I started to talk to the guy, I found out his name was Bryan and he's lived in Rochester his entire life. Soon enough after about an hour we still couldn't sight Monte or Cam, Bryan sighed and sat at the bar stool.

"Come on, I'm tired of this, we've searched the whole freaking club? Where else could they be?" Bryan waved his hands in the air and sighed once again. I shrugged and snuggled in his jacket, I was starting to regain feeling in everything. I looked down and thought about Tommy, I wondered why he still didn't find me, and he knew I had run outside. I cared so much for him, there is no way I'll ever forget what he did, ever. I then covered my face in Bryan's jacket and hid the tears from falling.

"Can I have a beer please, anything you have." Bryan ordered, "Hey, you okay Bud?" I face shot out from my arms and looked out into the club; Monte is the only person I know that says "Bud". My heart started to beat faster and faster as I quickly scanned the dance floor, nothing. I looked in front of me and saw Bryan starring at me; I broke the stare and sighed.

"What am I going to do now?" By then Bryan knew I was crying, it was noticeable the way it sounded when I spoke.

"Don't cry, man. We'll find Marty." By then I was ready to slap him, if he called Monte Marty one more time I think I'm going to explode.

"His name is MARTY! No! I mean Monte…" Bryan dropped his beer and laughed so hard he did a spit take kind of thing. I smiled and watched him make a fool out of himself.

"Well, that just made my night." I nodded in response and he smiled, he then went to pick his beer up off from the floor. The bartender watched him as she looked angry, "I'm so sorry maim. It was an accident." Bryan apologized to the bartender as he was on his hands and knees cleaning the bottle up, I just sat on the stool and watched him. I knew it would be the right thing to help him, but I was too broken, I just wanted to crawl in bed and cry my eyes out right about now. I looked out in the dance floor again to spot Cam or Monte, but suddenly I saw Cam's black hair and then Monte follow behind with his bandana around his head! I quickly stood from the stool and walked over to them, ecstatic!

"Adam! Where have you been? I found Tommy and he said he didn't know where you were! It's 5 in the morning, thank god I found you!" Monte yelled over the music, "What the hell? Why are you all wet and you look sick! You look like your dying, Adam. What have you been doing?" I looked down and shook my head.

"Can we please just head back to the bus now? I've been waiting forever." I grabbed Monte and Cam's hands and led them toward the bar so I could give Bryan his jacket back. Bryan appeared to be watching me.

"Bryan, thank you so much for everything you've did tonight. I really appreciate it, but I have to leave now. Here's your jacket and again, thank you." I gave him a smile. He took his jacket and then grabbed my hand as I was beginning to leave.

"Hey, I really like you, uhh; you want to call me or something? You know, whenever you can. We'll get to know each other better." He handed me a piece of paper with his number on it, I glanced at it and nodded.

"Will do, it was nice to meet you, bye." I walked out of the club then following Monte and Cam back to the tour bus, but as we were walking back Monte wondered, "Adam, who was that guy?"

"Oh, someone I met."

"No, I mean, weren't you with Tommy the entire time?"

"Oh god, no." I gave Monte a face in disgust. Monte opened the bus door for me and closely examined my every move. The minute I walked on the bus I felt the most amazing feeling ever, warm air. The air hit my entire body and I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as it did. When I slowly opened my eyes I caught a sight of Tommy, he was lying on the couch with his face in his hands. He arose and saw me.

"Adam, please…" Tommy pleaded, I could feel the tears building up; I gave him a quick glance and walked out of the room. The last sight I saw of Tommy was his flushed pink face with tear stains down his face, his hair was tangled and he was drenched from the rain… though he looked miserable, he can't imagine how I felt no matter how hard he tries….

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 16

I woke up with the biggest headache ever. My eyeliner ran down my face and my hair was just out of control at this point. I needed to do some serious fixing here. I looked at my clock that lies on top of my stereo; it was just about 11 o'clock. I nodded to myself; I'd woken up at a reasonable time. I got out of bed and headed straight for the mirror. I stood in front of the mirror and took a good look at myself, of course I looked terrible at the time, but I wanted to see further then my physical appearance. I wanted to look deeper into myself to really try and understand what kind of person I am. Am I the kind of person you fight for? Or the person you couldn't care less for? I wondered which category I fell in when it came to Tommy. I hoped and prayed that he's fight for me as much as he could, even when he knew all hope was gone, I wanted him to still try then, to prove that he really does love me. I walked out of my room for second and headed towards the shower, but before I could enter the shower I heard numerous deep breaths coming from the sitting room. I peeked my head out of the hallway and quietly looked out; I saw Tommy and Cam sitting on the couch. Cam had her arm around Tommy trying to comfort him, I guess. Tommy had his head rested on Cam's shoulder taking deep breaths, trying not to let out a cry. I took a good look at Tommy before I went into the shower; he'd been in his outfit from last night, which happens to be stained with alcohol and eyeliner. His hair was damp looking with numerous knots in it. His face was full of watered down eyeliner and his eyes were pink. He looked exactly how he did last night, the exact same way… I quickly turned my head into the hallway and cupped my face in my hands. I took deep breathes and tried not to make a scene, no one knew I was awake and I'd like to keep it that way. I couldn't bear to see Tommy so broken up this way, but it gave me a glimpse on how I looked outside that club this morning. I then jumped in the shower and used so much shampoo and body soap that when I had stepped out of the shower the whole bus would know what I had smelt like, best feeling ever, well one of them. From the time out of the shower to the time when I was actually fully dressed and ready to leave my room looking decent took about another hour, maybe because I took as much time as possible to avoid any sort of drama that came with leaving my room. But after I was done with all of my business, I decided to leave my room. I couldn't stay locked up in here the entire time, I'd eventually have to face Tommy sometime. We do travel together, in the same band, plus everyone in the band is interlocked with Tommy as well, so there was no avoiding him. I know I should be depressed right now, don't get me wrong I am, but I'm not going to show it. I decided that I've dried enough last night, I knew that it wouldn't make a difference if I did or not, but it helped ease the pain from Tommy. As I slowly walked out into the sitting room I caught eye of Tommy sitting alone on the couch, during that hour of me getting dressed Cam must have left. I felt a bit bad then, but not bad enough. Tommy caught eye of me walking pass him and his face lit up, he went to jump from the couch but then stopped himself knowing that he'd get no reaction from me what-so-ever, he was right. I was beyond infuriated with him; I honestly don't know what he has to do to regain anything.

"Adam, Please... I-I'm sorry!" Tommy cupped his hands together and laid his elbows on his knees and pleaded to me, I slightly turned and starred at his hands, and I looked up at his face and turned back around. In my head I kept telling myself over and over again "Don't cry, Adam! Stay strong!" and I followed through.

"Tommy, I don't want to look at your face right now, but I have no choice." The words just flew out of my mouth, I didn't mean them, well I did, but I didn't mean for them so be spoken out loud.

"I-I-I… You know I would never…" Tommy's voice gradually got lower and more innocent sounding.

"But, you did." I honestly didn't have any care for what Tommy had to say, he was not fully wasted, he had control of his actions. He was simply looking for a better time then what I was giving him, unless he gives me a reason to think otherwise.

"I did, but it meant nothing, you mean everything. Adam, I'd rather die without you." I saw a tear run down Tommy's face and his lip started to shiver. His voice cracked and I could tell that he was a complete mess without me. I looked down to avoid any eye contact, one tear found its way down my face as well; I can't do this to Tommy. If it was up to me I'd come running back into his arms in an instant, but I choice on letting him suffer and plead to me, it isn't right, but I wanted to know if he would fight for me as much as I would for him.

"How could you…though…" I looked up at Tommy's face then, I broke out, and there was no way in hiding it anymore. Tears fell and my voice was shaking, I wiped the tears and held my hand to my mouth to avoid anyone else from hearing me cry. Tommy's eye widened and he looked helpless. I could tell he wanted to help me, but he knew I wouldn't approve of it, so he just sat there. I had so much to say to Tommy right now, but I didn't have the strength to tell him fully.

"To actually think that I trusted you, Tommy. You were the last person I'd ever think would hurt me this bad…" I stepped closer to him, just a little so he could hear me clearer. "I sat in the pouring rain and in the cold just because I wanted to die. You meant the world to me, no, more then the world. But now, you'll be luck to mean far from it." I held up my hand in response to him pleading to me, I couldn't bare to look at him any longer, it made me want to crawl on the floor in a fetal position and cry my eyes out. Tommy's face right now was terrible, he was a complete mess, but that's what made it worse, he was a mess because of me. But I was dead without him. As I walked away wiping the tears away from my face, Tommy slowly said, in a hushed tone, "But I love you."

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 17

My heart beat raced, I had my back facing Tommy at the moment, and I tried to use every single bone in my body to try and not to turn around. Right now I was in the middle of the sitting room, heading for the kitchen. I wanted to force myself to walk toward the kitchen and act like I hadn't heard anything, but it's what I did hear that was causing the problem. I heard the 3 simple words escape from Tommy, but how did I know he meant it? For all I know, he could just be saying that for no absolute reason what-so-ever, just to ease the depression from last night I'd guess. I continued to walk forward to the kitchen avoiding Tommy. I heard him sigh and walk out, I continued once again. I took his walk out as a sign of him giving up, in the back of my mind I knew he wouldn't care this much for me to keep fighting, I just hoped and wished he would surprise me and prove me wrong. These are the times when I'd wish I was wrong, I want someone to laugh in my face and tell me, "I told you so!", but unfortunately the only person who did was myself. I'd reached the kitchen and looked around for a couple minutes, I'd walked in circles looking for something to eat, finally after about 20 minutes of searching I picked a banana. I wasn't too hungry at all actually, but breakfast is the most important meal of the day! I took my banana and walked into the sitting room to relax, the motion of the bus eventually started to get to me, my body relaxed. I sat there eating my banana until I felt my eyes gradually closing, I leaned back on the couch, rested my head on the arm of the chair with my hands securely touching my stomach.

The room was cool feeling, I felt at peace right now. I could feel a smile starting to grow on my face when I heard a soft and slow moving tone. As my eyes are still shut, I am awake. I knew I was dreaming the beautiful tone, I kept my eyes shut so it wouldn't leave, and it relaxed me more then anything. Eventually, the tone slowly got lower and lower and started to fade, so I slowly opened my eyes again. I smiled to myself, one of the best naps I'd had in quite sometime. Suddenly the tone got louder and it came into focus again, I'd realized that I wasn't dreaming. I leaned forward to see where the noise was coming from, Tommy happened to be sitting directly in front of me and my head thumped right into his. I heard his bass guitar make a sudden noise as he loosened his grip from it and went to ease the pain from his forehead. I slapped my hand to my forehead and shut my eyes quickly, I applied pressure and the pain eventually subsided. I glanced up at Tommy who was now trying to continue the tone,

"I'm sorry, I had no idea you were hovering over me I as I slept." I said, annoyed. Tommy played the tone and started to sing, his voice followed the melody so perfectly it was incredible. His voice made my mouth drop. I sat there in shock listening to him softly play his bass guitar and sing the lyrics oh-so softly. He finished and lifted his head, fixed his hair away from his face and took my hand,

"Adam, I wrote the lyrics last night, dedicated to you." Tommy raised my hand up to his face and looked into my eyes, "I mean it when I say I love you. But you have to keep in mind that everyone is going to make mistakes, baby. Some may make the mistakes worse the others. I need you to just listen to me right now, I want you to know that I don't have anything more to say then I'm so terribly sorry about what happened yesterday and I can't take it back. I won't say I didn't mean to do it, because quite frankly I don't remember half the things I did yesterday at the club. The emotions I put you through then must have made you want to die, I felt how you did yesterday this morning. A sorry only means so much to a certain person, depending on how many times you've heard it. I'm not going to deny I did it nor tell you that she forced me onto it, that won't mean the least to you. I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with you and no one else. I couldn't ever put you through what I did yesterday ever again, it was an on the spot thing and I wasn't thinking at all. I'll do anything for you, just name it, but all I want is for you to forgive me. You don't have to take me back or even give me a spoken answer, a nod of forgiveness is all I need, and you're killing me Adam. I love you so much and I don't know what to do with myself now. You're everything I want, but you don't want me…" Tommy's face was full of tears by the time he was done with his speech. His hand was still secure in my now, I glanced down at it and then at his face. I tilted my head and gave him a slight smile. He dropped his head and looked at his guitar, I kept my eyes fixed on him and lifted his head back to see mine. I leaned in on his face and carefully touched his lips with mine, as my face touched his I could feel how many tears had found there way down Tommy's face, I shut my eyes and rested my hands around Tommy's neck, Tommy mimicked me and followed. With a bit more force I leaned forward sending Tommy to lose balance on the couch and fall, as aware as he was the he had fell, he'd kept a grip on me. I pulled away with my eyes still closed, I opened them slowly only seeing Tommy's face. He'd fell onto the other side of the couch, he just laid there as my body hovered over his. I gently bent my arms down to come closer to his body, I turned my head and laid it on his chest exactly how I did on the beach. I felt his heartbeat gradually become at normal. He took deep breathes and settled his cry. He laid his hand on my head and stroked my hair, as my arms wrap around his stomach.

"I love you so much." I whispered.

"I love you … more." Tommy whispered back, I smiled to myself and relaxed. I'd had my Tommy back, but now I know he's proved that he really does love me for me. I couldn't be more happy.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 18

About 3 hours later I'd realized that Tommy and I had fell asleep on the couch then. What woke me up was Tommy's sudden gasp and jerk forward. He'd woken up from a bad dream. My head sprung up to his face to see what's wrong.

"I just had the worst dream ever." He held his hand to his forehead to breathe.

"What was it about?" I asked.

"You didn't take me back…" he softly said so only I could hear, I gave him a half smile and looked away. Tommy leaned into my face, but before our lips touched, Monte barged into the sitting room,

"Hey! It's about time you two woke up!" Monte loudly said, I heard Tommy sigh and roll his eyes.

"Well, now we are." Tommy said with no expression, he lifted from the couch and tangled to get the blanket off of him.

"Good cause Adam I have an idea for a new drummer for the next show, his name is Isaac." I got up from the couch and discussed with Monte, but from the corner of my eye I saw Tommy walk out of the sitting room and into his room.

"Is he good? Does he compare to LP?" I questioned. Monte's eyebrows rose,

"To be honest, he's better. He's young and energetic and I think he'll fit perfect into the band!"

"Let's meet him."

"I've set it up so you guys will meet about 2 days from now, so… Thursday?" Monte checked a piece of paper that he'd written all of the drummers that he'd auditioned. I glanced at it; he quickly flipped the paper so my view was obstructed. My eyes flickered to his and he just gave me a stern face.

"Sounds…Good…" I was curious if I was writing about what I'd thought he'd written on the paper, my voice mimicked my curiosity. I got up and left the sitting room to check on Tommy, he seemed pretty annoyed about being interrupted. I knocked, waited, and finally Tommy answered.

"Hey babe." Tommy left the door open so I could come in. "I'm just cleaning up, look at this mess!" I laughed and looked around. Tommy's clothes were everywhere, his makeup was on the floor, his room reeked of worn out cologne, and honestly I loved it. It defined Tommy, and Tommy is what I love more then anything.

"I love your room like this." I said quietly looking around still. Tommy looked at me with a ton of clothes in his hands, he dropped them and chuckled.

"Psh! Then I don't have to do this anymore." He kicked everything out of the way and walked towards me, "My room doesn't bother me, I was only doing it for you." He smiled and as did I, "Now, where were we?" Tommy's inched closer and closer, I smiled and grabbed his hand. Tommy's lips felt so insanely soft on mine, it was my weakness, my beautiful drug. He leaned me forward and pushed me onto his bed, I felt the dirty clothes that lie on his bed, and I quickly shuffled them out of my way and grabbed Tommy's hair and pulled it. He kind of made a funny noise and I couldn't help but giggle. He pulled away still hovering over me,

"You think that's funny, hm?" He giggled as well. I nodded and smiled big for him. He took a second to kiss me again; he starred into my eyes and waited. I looked to the side out of reaction and my face read confused.

"What? Is there something on my face?" I touched my face quickly and waited for his answer.

"No. You just have very beautiful eyes." He shot me a smile that only made me blush even more. I grabbed his back and pushed his closer to my face, he face seemed relaxed and he was all smiles. Suddenly, Monte walked in and announced, "Adam! I need your help on something with the drummer information." He shot a look at Tommy and then back at me. I looked over at Monte from under Tommy and sighed.

"You didn't need my help before?" Monte made me suspicious, his eyes widened.

"Umm, well I need you now, right now." Monte demanded.

"Monte, I have another 2 days to do this. You can wait, plus I'm busy, have some respect please." Monte stepped in the room a bit more and confronted Tommy.

"Tommy, do you mind if Adam helps me with this important stuff?" Tommy looked down at me and rolled his eyes so that Monte couldn't see.

"Well, MONTE… I do mind. But because I respect you, I'll let you take Adam and discuss whatever the hell you guys need to discuss without the keyboardist or the bass player. It must be something that you need to do privately. So, whatever you want." Tommy crawled off the bed and walked out of the room giving Monte the dirtiest look I've ever seen him give anyone. Tommy gave Monte serious attitude and Monte didn't even notice to care what he was hinting.

"Alright Monte, what was so important that you needed to interrupt me right now, right this second?" I crossed my arms and waited for a response.

"So Thursday is good for you on meeting Isaac?"

"You must be joking. I just said yes 20 minutes ago." Now I was beginning to become annoyed with Monte's constant interruptions, it wasn't like him.

"Adam, I need a yes or no answer." Monte demanded, my eyes widened.

"Wait, excuse me? … yes, I'm fine with it."

"Okay then, we're done here." Monte got up and left then, I sat there, dumbfounded. In about the next 5 seconds I heard a yell, I rose from the bed and jogged into the sitting room. In my sight were Tommy and Monte face to face, just yelling?

"What the hell, man! Give me a break…" Tommy yelled To Monte.

"Get over yourself man! Get a damn reality check." Monte yelled back. As confused as I was, I kept listening.

"How about you quit snooping in peoples business, mind yourself and that's it. There's no reason for you to be attached to Adam 24/7." Tommy backed away then.

"Watch and see what happens, Tommy." Monte grabbed his paper work and stormed out of the room. Tommy leaned on the counter with his head down, I just sat there, in the hall way, dumbfounded once again.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 19

I kept my hand secured onto the corner of the wall debating on whether I should go and talk to Tommy or Monte … or just leave them alone to figure it out themselves? I mean, it involved me, I think? I decided to confront Tommy. Tommy lifted his head and watched me approach him,

"What was that all about?" I jumped onto the counter and took Tommy's hand.

"Oh, Monte's just being a baby…" Tommy laughed; I chucked, but thought as well. Monte has never had this problem before. He'd never been bothered by Tommy and I, ever. I knew something was bothering him, I was just too afraid to ask him. Right then Cam walked in and hugged Tommy and I. Cam was so sweet looking and innocent, I wondered how she'd gotten involved in this band. I smiled to myself and listened to Cam,

"Hey Tommy, what was that 2 minutes ago? You guys sounded like you were going to kill each other." Cam questioned.

"Cam, I honestly don't know what Monte's problem is. I haven't done anything to him to be treated this way?" Cam looked at me and then shot a look at Tommy.

"Is it maybe what you did to Adam that makes him mad?" Cam crossed her arms and studied Tommy as he thought about his answer.

"Why would he be concerned on how I treat my Adam?" Tommy took my hand then and lightly kissed it and gave me a slight smile. I kept a blank face, no reaction toward Tommy at all; I leaned in to listen to what Cam had to say.

"Tommy, Monte and Adam are very close friends. Maybe you should have thought about this more thoroughly." Cam's voice had gotten lower; she didn't want Monte to hear.

"I don't need to think about anything? I'm always my best around Adam, Cam! You're taking Monte's side because you two are just so in love, right? Is that why you chose to hate me as well? Well, that's a new low, even for you. But I know I always have my Adam by my side and that's all I need. I don't need you or Monte, your nothing." Tommy backed away still gripping to my hand. I forced my hand away from his and glared at him, my mouth dropped, I was completely shocked! Tommy has never said anything like that to anyone in this band. I jumped off the counter and took Cam's hand. I looked at Cam and her face was blank, she was shocked as well. Cam was not the one to fight back, she just sat there and nodded and took what Tommy had said.

"Just think about it, Tommy." Cam turned around and loosened the grip between our hands, leaving Tommy and I in the kitchen alone. I shot a look at Tommy, a look of disappointment.

"What in the hell is wrong with you Tommy?" I flailed my arms above my head and stepped back from him as he got closer.

"Oh, Adam, don't be so dramatic. Cam will get over it." Tommy turned around and went to pour a drink.

"Maybe she will, but you don't talk to Cam like that, Cam's nothing but nice to everyone. She doesn't say a word unless it means something!" I watched him calmly sip his glass cup full of coke in it.

"You need to calm down, okay? It'll all be over in a while when Monte cools down. Then we'll be back to normal." Tommy took my hand, but I jerked back, right then I heard Monte's door open and Cam and Monte walk out. Monte was calmed and Cam was as well, my body loosened, thinking that Monte was okay.

"Look who decided to show!" Tommy mocked Monte. Cam shot around and slapped Tommy's drink out of his hand sending it to shatter onto my arm. The broken glass shot through to my skin and I screamed in pain, Monte quickly ran over to me and held pressure to my arm.

"Just leave it Tommy!" Cam yelled, she had tears in her eyes mostly because she hated fights, she didn't want anything to do with them, but when she is, it's for a very good reason. For something she believes in. Monte pulled me over to a corner in the kitten away from the yelling and tried to clean my arm up, with the glass in it and the blood pulsing everywhere, what hurt the most knew that the coke was stinging through into my blood. But I calmly watched Tommy's response,

"Cam, nobody gives a shit…Just go." At that moment in the fight, Monte, Cam, and My mouth dropped. Monte dropped the towel that he was using to soak up the blood from my arm and glanced at Tommy. Monte went to smash Tommy's face on the counter when I took his shirt and pulled him back. I walked over to Tommy calmly,

"Tommy, go calm down somewhere else. Please, you're causing too much drama in one place!" I pleaded, Tommy looked into my eyes and gave a slight shove, I walked backwards into the counter and bumped into it from his shove.

"You all need to chill; I'm not the bad one here!" Tommy pointed his finger at Monte.

"Listen buddy-"Monte walked towards Tommy then, but suddenly we all turned and saw the bus driver yell,

"You guys! Calm down! There is too much movement on the bus, I can't focus!" All the shoving and yelling and screaming and throwing were setting the bus off focus.

"Listen Monte, how about you just go prance back in your room and mid your own damn business." I've never seen Tommy this angry before, he was like a totally different person and it was scaring me… I heard a loud bang and Tommy was on the floor, he slid down the fridge with his back and at the corner of his mouth I saw blood, Tommy screamed and the bus driver ran into the kitchen to see what was up. He looked panicked.

"What is going on?" He yelled, then he glanced down at everything nodded to him, "You guys need to calm the hell down, I got the bus on cruise control to come and see what was up, I have to go, WORK THIS OUT!" The bus driver walked back into the front and left us. I bowed my head and crouched to see if Tommy was alright. He looked dizzy from the punch. I looked up at Monte who was in shock he had the nerve to do that, I nodded to Monte saying "It's alright, we're fine now. Just everyone calm down." Monte nodded and I saw Cam shaking, my body tensed for some reason, I felt the bus swerve back and fourth and then the bus driver yelled, "Everyone get down!" Monte and Cam dropped to the floor and I covered Tommy. Right then, the bus was hit by something hard, something hard enough to send it flying backwards. When the bus flew backwards I remember losing my grip on Tommy and being flown backward into the coffee table. The glass coffee table shattered as I hit it, the bus was spinning and my eyes were shutting slowly. Monte shot up and ran towards me in a wobble considering the bus was swerving nonstop. Cam and Tommy remain in the same place with there arms securing over there head. I suddenly felt light headed and my eyes slowly closed a little more,

"Adam! Stay with me! Come on!" Monte quickly covered his head with his hands and dodged the debris that hit him. The bus screeched, and stopped, and the repulsive smell of dark smoke stung in my nose. Monte came into my view and tried to wake me, his face was blurry and I gave him a slight smile. Then slowly drifted my eyes shut.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 20

I hear sirens, talking people, and shuffling. I felt being moved, I feel the cold wind shoot into my face, and I hear crying, screaming and sniffling. I hear, but I cannot see. I cannot move, nor respond to anyone who comes in contact with me, I'm dead physically, but I'm working on the inside. I feel the zaps of electric stab into my chest, they found my heartbeat. They know I'm alive. I could feel numerous tubes attached to my body, not a single inch of my body wasn't being monitored.

"He's alive! He has a heartbeat!" One man said, he sounded like he was in his mid 20's or so, I guessed. Suddenly, I felt a cold hand rest onto my arm where Tommy's glass had shattered onto it, the person felt around it, I couldn't make any reaction, but I felt it sting like hell.

"Hey, he's got a gash in his arm. I see a bunch of glass in it; we should pay attention to that, Tyler." A woman said, I was guessing the guy's name was Tyler now.

"I'm aware! Ally, how about you apply some pressure to it so it stops the blood." Tyler insisted.

"I'm on it. Tyler, isn't this guy Adam Lambert?" Ally said, if I was conscious and if I could sigh I would, but I was flattered that I was noticed. Suddenly, the sirens shut off and I heard the door open, I was rushed out of the car and into the hospital, I could tell it was a hospital from the way it smelt. Hospitals always have that odor of rubber gloves and people that haven't bathed in weeks, the smell rang in my nose. As soon as they stopped my gurney, I felt the urge to drop into a deep sleep. It was weird, I was losing my senses quickly, I slowly lost my hearing, it started to fade, my touch, I couldn't tell anymore. But then everything got quiet and peaceful.

The room was silent, the only thing I heard right now was the soft and repetitive beat of the heart monitor. I soothed me, I loosened. Then suddenly I heard voices; I heard Monte's deep and calm voice and Cam's calming innocent high voice as well. I could feel then right next to me; there presence lingered in the room. I don't like hospitals; they make me want to be depressed. I wanted to talk to Monte and asked him what I was doing in here; I'd only had a cup shatter on my arm. I didn't need to be in here. I used all my might to try and force myself to talk or even open my eyes, but it failed. I don't know what's happening and I hated it!

"This is what it's brought us to." Monte said, he sighed. "Cam, I'm scared. Look at him…" I heard Monte cry for the first time, he started to sniffle and his voice cracked. I wanted to comfort him and tell him it's going to be alright, but neither could I do that.

"Monte, it's going to be alright. Don't put too much stress on yourself." Cam comforted him.

"I should have never even tried to do anything, it didn't get me anywhere, and it brought us back to where we'd never want to be. I try and fail." Monte then took a tissue; I didn't hear him blow his nose so he must have wiped his tears.

"Sometimes you can't help people Monte. You have to let them help themselves, and this is one of those situations."

"Adam couldn't help himself; did you see how happy he was with Tommy? Little did he know that Tommy wasn't sharing the same feelings? I bet that's why Tommy went all out on you and me, because he knew we knew his little secret." Monte's voice had gotten louder and I wondered. Could I cry? No, I couldn't., but on the inside I was dying. But I listened further…

"But Monte, you have to also realize that Tommy does share those feelings for Adam, he just made a big mistake…" She pleaded with Monte.

"He lied though!" He sighed, "It's none of my business to be getting into anyone's personal stuff, but I feel that Adam will never get a grip on what Tommy is really thinking." I heard footstep then, I begged and pleaded in my head for them to stay and keep me company in here, but of course they didn't hear or see that I was making any movement, so they left. I just sat there, doing nothing, but thinking to myself. Was Tommy really worth everything I'm giving him? Does he really feel that he loves me the way he says he does? He told me that he would never say that unless he really meant it, I believed it, but did he believe himself when he'd said that? Or was that another lie… I can't believe what this has all come to. I just want to be happy, but I don't know the secret to achieving that. Suddenly I heard more footsteps, I got excited. There were no voices. Just the doctor or nurse checking on me, she'd done something because I could feel myself drifting back into that deep peaceful sleep again, but before I'd fell asleep I tried to piece together a picture of Tommy. I wanted to feel his hand touching mine; I wanted to feel his presence closing in one mine. I wanted to also feel his lips, tracing my face, but most of all I wanted to see and feel his tears of happiness, knowing that I'm always here for him. No matter what he does, there's so possible way I could erase him from my life. Problems come and go, you just have to decide on who you would endure them for, and Tommy was definitely one of them. I started to lose everything again, the room had gotten silent and I drifted to a peaceful sleep once again.

Beep…Beep…Beep… The wonderful sound I woke up to this morning. I slowly opened my eyes; I got excited I could finally open them. I moved my arm. I looked around the room I was in, it was completely white, and it reminded me of when I visited Tommy. I hoped that someone would be here sitting by my side when I awoke, but no one was. I sighed to myself and tried to lean forward. Leaning forward was like stabbing a knife into my back; I dropped back onto my back and let out a long deep breath. Suddenly, the nurse walked in to check on me, I starred at her.

"Oh, welcome back Adam." Her voice was high and soothing, but it frustrated me. I hated being in captivity.

"How long-"my voice cracked and I stopped, it sounded weird.

"You've been in the hospital for about 2 weeks, baby." She touched my arm, I looked at her hand. She was in her 30's I was guessing. My heart beat started to increase in speed, I started to panic. 2 weeks? Where has everyone been? What have they been doing? Why am I here?

"All you needed to do was bandage my arm, though…" I said.

"Oh, no. Adam your bus was in a terrible crash, Tommy and you were the only ones hurt, but you seemed to take the worse end." She sat down next to my bed and held my hand.

"No, I wasn't." I grinded my teeth.

"Yes. You tried to cover Tommy from the falling debris and the bus hit an SUV, sending it flying backwards and you crashed into a glass coffee table. The glass wounded your back, face, and hands. You're in the hospital majorlly for that. I didn't want to scare you, but I guess you needed to know." The lady then lifted from her chair and left, but before she left she announced, "You have someone to see you." My heart raced and I could feel my face getting red. I wondered who would come, I hoped it was Monte.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 21

I awaited the sight anyone who would walk in here, but to my surprise it was Tommy. Tommy looked broken as well; he'd had an arm cast and a bunch of bruises on his arms and face. I scanned his body. I shot a look at his face and starred. He starred back and then suddenly looked down. I could only imagine what he must be thinking right now. My anger for him flared out into my facial expression, he noticed. Tommy slowly walked to the chair next to my bed and sat down, he gripped his hand on the mattress with great force, and then he looked up into my eyes…

"Adam, I'm not perfect." His voice was calm, but stern. I could feel his hand gripping harder and harder on the bed mattress.

"I don't want you to be." My voice still sounded like I was going through puberty. I looked away from him and pressed a button so the bed could lift a bit more and I could see Tommy's face better.

"But, the things I put you through. It isn't right." He continued, "I came to visit you the instant they let me enter the room, which was about a week and a half ago. I cried, Adam, So much. I now know why Monte did what he did. He wants… He just wants… you to be happy. I, I… I blew up on him when I knew. I'd thought he cared for you more then I did."

"Tommy, this is getting us no where. Look where we are in result to what you've done." I snapped back. Tommy shot a look at my entire body real quick and signed.

"Is this how you felt when I was here?" Tears ran down his face, I lay motionless.

"Worse." I said.

"You know you're all over the news Adam. Everyone is worried; the hospital won't let anyone see you except the band." He stopped to grab a tissue and wiped his tears.

"I figured."

"Monte is right and Cam as well. If they ever tell you what there reason was for all of this I can guarantee I'm packing my bags from this band. I don't think before I do anything, and look where it has gotten me?" Tommy pleaded.

"I don't want to know what you did, Tommy." I held my hand up as far as I could so he'd stop talking.

"Maybe loving you as much as I did was a mistake." I said, slowly but calm. I took deep breaths, I knew what I had said was wrong, but how much more could I take from him? The entire band is ruined as far as I know.

"I don't want a life without you, Adam." I looked away, giving Tommy no expression at all. Instead I decided to take a look at the damage done to my body. There were a couple gashes in my arm from where the cup was thrown at my arm, adding the coffee table into that as well. My hands were bruised and I could feel my face was as well. Everything had scars, bruises and gashes into it. There wasn't an inch of my body that wasn't, fortunately those were curable. I couldn't tell how bad my body was injured from the hospital bed, I could feel it, but I couldn't look past my arms. Everything was bandaged. I took a look back at Tommy who was examining my body as well; he started to feel down my arm, around my stomach and up and down my legs very slowly. I watched him. Oddly, it felt great. Suddenly, I got the goose bumps and Tommy seemed to notice. He looked at me and leaned into my face, he wanted a kiss, as close as he was to my face I used all my energy to try and push him away. I ended up elbowing his chest.

"Ahh!" Tommy yelled in pain, he got up from his chair and walked out then. But before he left he stuck his head back into my room and watched me for a second, I closed my eyes and one single tear shed from my eye, then he left. Right after he left I tried to let lose of all the wires on my body, I wanted to run after him. I need him more then he needs me. I can't live without him! Please, come back! One wires popped then another from my skin, it hurt so badly, but I hated it here! I can't stand it! I want my Tommy, please…Suddenly I heard an alarm go off, I looked around fast and tried to detach any other wires that were attached as quickly as I could, blood started to ooze from my arm as I pulled the wires out. Then a doctor and 7 nurses came in, they panicked and tried to secure me back in the bed. I fought with everything I had, but it was hard I hadn't eaten or drank anything in 2 weeks from my coma. They quickly strapped my wrists into a belt on each side of the bed and pulled it tight so I couldn't escape. My face was wet from my tears, I could feel it. I gave up; I tried and failed as usual. But I'm glad someone came to refuse my exit. If I had gotten away with this, I would have increased my stay here.

"Don't move! Dammit!" One nurse said, I laughed to myself and lay motionless.

"Are you out of your mind?" She started to yell right in my face, I felt urge to yell back, but I didn't.

"No." I simply said, "I want out, please." I begged, the nurse glanced at the doctor who was nodding now.

"Adam, you need someone to come and take you out." The doctor said.

"Call Monte, my friend." The doctor proceeded to the telephone and started talking to Monte. The nurses all crowded around my bed and watched my every move. I started to get irritated.

"Okay, my friend is coming, girls; I'm not going to escape again." My face dropped and I gave them attitude. Hospitals bring the worse out in me…

"Monte has been waiting in the waiting room; you'll be discharged in about 5 minutes. Ladies, how about you bandage up his arm from the wires and take him out." 2 nurses agreed and started to wrap gauze around my arms, they pulled it tight and then stopped. They shed the blanket from my body and held there hands out. I starred at them. One lady was very irritated from me and I could tell, she sat there tapping her foot with her hand out waiting my response. I turned around and grabbed the other ladies hand and gave her a sarcastic smile, she stormed out.

"Oh, Adam…" The nurse said.

"She was cranky…" I laughed and tried to lift from the bed. When I was finally on my feet, I wobbled and tripped on nothing. The nurse took my hand and walked me out into the waiting room.

"What the fu-"I yelled, but the nurse cut me off,

"Shh! It's supposed to hurt baby. You haven't walked in weeks. Give your body some time." She giggled and watched me try to walk with my arm around her shoulders, I'm glad it amused her. She took me to wear she had to sit me down in a wheelchair. I sighed and looked up at her, "Are you kidding me?"

"You're too much. Do you act this way at home?" The nurse asked while still smiling at me. No matter what I did, she never got irritated with me. Oh, I liked this lady.

"No…" I gave her a slight smile and let her wheel me out to find Monte. Finally I saw Monte standing in the doorway with his jacket in his hand and a bandana around his head as usual. He gave me the biggest smile and walked toward me.

"Thank you, nurse." He gave the nurse a hug and shook her hand.

"He was quite the struggle." The nurse giggled and looked down at me, she found me touching my arm and feeling where all the scars were. Monte laughed and nodded. He then rolled me out of the hospital.

"Thank god you're okay." He sighed.

"It wasn't that bad, Monte calm down." I said, smiling but he didn't see, he kept his head looking forward.

"Dude, you were in a coma for 2 weeks. The bus is trash, we got everything we could out of it that we needed and stored it in the nearest hotel." I bowed my head and gave him no answer.

"This is great." I said.

"Lovely." Monte smiled and pranced to where the taxi was waiting for us. I laughed at him again and got into the taxi. Monte opened the door for me as I did and then proceeded to the front of the taxi for him.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 22

I sat in the taxi quietly, motionless. I could feel my face stinging from however bad it was cut up. I scrunched my face to ease the pain, as if that would have helped. I thought about my fans and the tour. I couldn't go onstage looking like this! Plus we had lost our bus, it was destroyed. I sighed to myself, what am I going to do now? Everything was taking a negative turn and I wasn't too fond of it. Monte switched the radio on and slouched in his chair.

"It's going to be about 20 minutes until we get to the hotel, this freaking hospital is in the middle of no where!" Monte told me, "Now we can relax and listen to some tones." I smiled and shook my head at Monte, he was such a dork. The radio switched to a commercial and it caught my attention.

"Alright folks of New York, we have the latest news and dirt on the celebrities right now! Now, this just came in and it's true that Adam Lambert and his band had gotten into a car crash and Adam is in a coma! Plus to add on to this drama, Tommy has been cheating on Adam behind his back! This is the cold hard truth guys!" The announcer laughed, "My mouth dropped when I heard about this! They were so cute, But I guess things happen you guys. Call in and tell me what you think about this?" He laughed once again and played "For Your Entertainment" in response to the news he's announced. Monte looked back at me in shock. I glanced at him and then looked down, my heart dropped. He'd been cheating on me? All this time? For how long have I not known this? I can't believe this… Did I seriously just witness hearing what I'd just heard?

"Adam, I… "Monte thought about what words were most appropriate to say. I looked up at him, my eyes started to fill with water and my cheeks turned pink.

"It can't be…" I pleaded…

"I tried to hint you into it, Cam tried… But you're always with him. I couldn't get you alone." I thought back at the attitude I gave Monte when he insisted my company, I also thought about Tommy's fury in the kitchen the day of the accident. I shook my head, "No…" Monte lowered the radio, "No…" I repeated. Monte's eyebrows rose in confusion. I looked up at him, furious.

"NO!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, I yelled it again and again and again until my throat hurt. "What did I ever do to you? Do I deserve this? What have I done wrong? Tell me please!" I yelled at no one, no, I yelled to anyone who could give me a straight answer, but I'd gotten none. Monte sat there speechless, trying to find the words to say. But then we'd arrived at the hotel, I stormed out of the taxi, but waited for Monte to show me the way or where the hotel room was. Monte paid the man and hurried to calm me, but as much as he tried there way no way he'd succeed.

"Adam, calm down. Everyone is calm and quiet in the hotel, please don't start anything, please…" Monte grabbed my hand and begged me to stay calm.

"Monte, I'm beyond furious. To think that I loved him? OH MY GOD…" I took deep breathes and spoke again, "Just make sure he isn't in my sight when I walk into the room. I need to time to think. This is … just ridiculous." Monte walked in front of me and I followed. On the way towards the room I kicked a couple rocks and trash that were lying on the floor, to calm myself, but that failed as well.

"Stay here…" Monte made me stop a couple feet before the door. He walked in and left the door open, I inched forward to see if Tommy was in view, but before I had gotten to the door Monte came back and allowed me in.

"Okay…" Monte eyed my entrance, my emotion, and facial expression. I glanced at him before I went in and sighed. The hotel room was freezing, the first thing I noticed when I walked in was the burst of cold air that immediately hit my arms, I felt goose bumps growing. Cam looked up from her newspaper and I felt Mote behind me.

"Oh! Welcome back home, baby!" Cam jumped from the couch and squeezed me tight; I wrapped my arms around her and smiled.

"Thanks Cam! God, I missed all of you so much! What has been happening since I was in the hospital?" I loosened from her grip and walked into the kitchen to grab a drink,

"Well, we've just hung out here. We were pretty paranoid about you. We didn't know if you would wake up…" Cam sat back down and rested her newspaper on her lap, I opened the fridge, my eyes widened and a big smile grew onto my face. Every one of my favorite foods was stocked in the fridge all the way to the point where you couldn't fit anything else in there. I pretended to wipe an imaginary tear and laughed.

"Oh, you guys!" I said.

"Shoes how much we care, buddy." Monte came up to me and patted my back and smiled. I glanced back at the fridge again; there were packs and packs of Vitel water and Coke Cola. My favorite junk foods and meals, this is amazing. I gave Monte a "Man Hug" and smiled. Then I grabbed water and took a seat next to Cam. I glanced over at the newspaper she was reading and saw that she was looking at sales again, for shoes.

"How long was I down again?" I took a sip of water and felt so much better, my entire body felt relaxed, the best feeling in the world.

"About 2 ½ weeks?" Cam answered without taking her face away from the paper.

"Hmm…" I took another sip and walked away, I looked around the living room, looking for a room I could crash in.

"Uh, where's my room? Or... Like a room I could relax in for now?" I looked at Monte, he pointed me in a direction down the hall and to the left, I nodded and proceeded. As I walked down the hallway I saw numerous rooms as I passed by, this hotel was like a mini house. Suddenly a door opens and I see Tommy walk in my direction from out of his room, my face drops and my mood shifts from relaxed to stress in a matter of seconds.

Tommy eyed my movement as I walked pass him, he flinched for a second wondering if he should run back in his room or confront me. I starred my way pass him, until he grabbed my shoulder…

"Adam…" He whispered, oh-so quiet so that no one else would hear, "I know you know what I did, but please…" Tommy meant to go one, but I cut him off,

"Tommy, I'm done." I shook his hand off my shoulder and made me way toward my room. As my back faced him, my hands started to shake and I felt my heart beat increase. I sighed, I felt too much for him, I won't be able to quit. I found my room, when I walked in I found baskets of flowers, notes, balloons, presents, and candy covering my room. I took a good look at everything. I glanced over at one of the notes, it read: You're Biggest Fan. My fans must have sent all of this; I smiled to myself and chuckled. Then I took a seat on the bed and dropped onto my back; I took a deep breath, and just laid there. I felt my body was too weak to do anything else. Gradually my eyes started to shut, I felt at peace once again.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 23

Two cool hands traced the sides of my body, as I lie motionless. I don't move, nor speak. I see a face, it doesn't click into my head just yet, who is he? Then it hit me, Tommy. That's who he was, I can't believe I forgot. I watched him work his way up to my face, he starred at me. I starred back into his adorable brown eyes. He tilted his head and leaned closer.

"You know you want me, Adam…" He whispered into my ear, I flinched to his cool breath that happens to hit my neck. He sent Goosebumps running down my arms. He waited for a response, I gave him none. He nodded his head and spoke once again,

"You don't want … this?" Tommy leaned in closer to my face and lightly touched his lips to mine, he took a deep breath still attached to my lips and repeated just a couple more times. To tell you the truth, I was on cloud nine. Tommy had me wrapped around his finger. He pulled away, looked at me once again, I kept my eyes shut. I felt his breath, hit my face again and again, but oh-so softly. I slowly opened my eyes , searched for his face, but he had disappeared? I jerked forward and looked around my room for him, nothing. I bow my head and rustle my hair just a bit in stress. I look up and there he is, starring into my eyes once again, this boy could kill me with the way he looks at me. He laughed to himself and took my hand; he kissed it, his eyes still in contact with mine.

"We could get through this." Tommy said, bending his knees to my height as I sit on the bed.

"You're too much…" I whispered,

"Shh…" Tommy lay on finger on my lips, he looked down, "But when you said you loved me, you'd be willing to work this out if you had really meant it. I know did."

"I did… You can't be trusted, Tommy." I began to tear up; he tore me to a point where I wouldn't hold it in any longer. One tear ran down my face, but before it could fall, Tommy wiped it with his hand. He rested his hand on my face longer then needed; he looked at me once again and pleaded without spoken words.

"But you don't know how much I care for you; you don't know the entire story." His voice started to fade, I leaned in closer to him to catch everything he was saying, and I quickly hurried to answer him.

"I know now, if you cared you wouldn't have cheated! Tommy! Please…" Then everything faded black and he was gone, everything was. I saw darkness, blackness.

I quickly shot my eyes open, I was in my room. I looked around again; the notes, the present, balloons and candy still lie in the exact same place from when I… fell asleep? Damnit! That was all fake? What the hell… I sighed and shut my eyes for a few seconds. I rose from my bed and caught Tommy hovering over it; I jerked backwards and took one deep breath.

"Thank you for scaring the shit out of me, that's always how I love to wake up." I said, to Tommy. He stood there with his hands folded still starring at me.

"You look beautiful, baby." He stepped backwards toward the door as I rose from the bed. I gave him the eye, the evil eye. I didn't know if that was sarcasm or he really meant it. I looked hideous, my face was scratched and my body was bruised. He wasn't getting anywhere with the sarcastic remarks.

"You really know how to make someone's day, hm?" I looked at him as I passed him to head to the bathroom to wash off; he tugged my shirt in response for me to stay.

"I love you, I really mean it!" He pleaded, "Those words aren't meant o be said to just anyone!"

"I think you have a different meaning of it then I do." I looked down at him, jerked my arm away from his and exited the room. Is there such thing of a perfect relationship? No. I used to think that with Tommy, before the club incident. Some wounds don't mend.

I finally found the bathroom in this hotel room and shut the door. I looked in the mirror for the first time in 3 weeks, it looked like someone had taken a knife and just slit little scars in my face, but on my lower body, my arms and chest were bruised and slightly scared. I thought to myself, never again will I have a glass coffee table on the tour bus ever again. Then I twisted the sink knob and started to throw water at my face. I brushed my teeth, took a quick shower, and dressed myself before I had actually walked back out into the living room. When I had finally made my way to the living room, no one was there. I expected to see Cam reading the newspaper as always and Monte in the kitchen or watching T.V., but nothing. I looked around and shrugged, everyone must be chilling in there rooms. I sat on the couch and sighed.

"Wow I'm bored." I closed my eyes and tried to take a nap. Suddenly I heard someone walk in, my eyes shot open and darted across the room like I was actually looking for someone, I chuckled.

"I can entertain you." Tommy appeared on the other side of me, he must have been in the kitchen and I didn't see him.

"I'll pass, but thank you though." I refused and got up from the couch.

"Oh come on!" Tommy took my hand, I starred at his hand locked in mine and then his face, "Adam, don't do this. You're just putting yourself in a more difficult situation." I laughed, more like a chuckle of sarcasm.

"Excuse me? What makes you think I actually want to look at you right now, never the less SPEAK to you." I tore my hand from his and crossed my arms waiting for his answer.

"Adam, you're eyes speak for you. I KNOW you want to work this out; it's clear in your eyes. You just don't want to get hurt, nor deal with any more drama." He'd read my mind. I blinked twice and watched him scoot closer to me, "Come on." He took my hand and drew me closer to his body, my body hit his and our faces were dead close. I starred into his eyes, "Now is your chance…" He whispered.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 24

As his face lay so close to mine, I take a deep breath. This has happen to me so many times, in my dreams. I made sure I wasn't dreaming by pinching my arm. It hurt, I flinched. Okay, I am not dreaming. I looked up at him, I wanted to smile, but I didn't want to let my guard down with him just yet.

"Do I make the first move?" he softly said while looking into my eyes, I shrugged my shoulders and cracked him a slight sarcastic smile. I could feel my face getting hot, with being nervous. My intentions are to make Tommy sorry for what he had done, but nothing was working. He'd had his intentions set on getting me back one way or another; I wondered what went through that mind of his. It seemed to work differently then anyone else's.

"I see. Playing hard to get, eh?" Tommy smiled; I kept a straight face when looking at him, a blank, expressionless face. He's beginning to annoy me.

"No, I just want you to leave me alone." I tried to take my hands and push him away, but he kept his grip tight and stern.

"Adam, Please…" He pleaded… I starred at him in confusion, is he joking?

"Adam, please… Really? Tommy, you cheated on me! While I was in a coma in the hospital? How could I ever forgive you? That's the coldest and most selfish thing I have ever heard! The only person I thought about while I was in that psycho ward was you! I wanted to be in your arms! I wanted you to say you missed my smile… Tommy, where is Tommy? I want him…" I scanned his body with my eyes, "I don't want….whatever you are." I rolled my eyes and watched his facial expression shift.

"I am what I am, Adam. Take it or leave it." He loosened my hands and rested his on his hips, I watched him, appalled.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"You want me? You take what your given, you don't get special treatment because you Mr. Adam Lambert. No, Adam, it doesn't work that way." His voice increased in volume, I tried to shush him, he slapped my hand out of the way and walked passed me.

"You're a freak; get a reality check, will ya?" Tommy stomped out of the living room and into his room, I stood there, dumbfounded. What was with Tommy? Is it me? What was I doing? Or was it him? Am I self centered? I had no clue on what was going on… I fell onto the couch and slouched. I folded my hands on my stomach and looked up at the ceiling.

I woke up and looked around; it was about 10 in the morning. I'd slept through the entire night on the couch. My back ached; I stretched my arms, which hurt as well. I got up from the couch and stretched my entire body, which felt better. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed some water. On my way to my room I saw Monte leaving Tommy's room.

"Hey, Adam. What was with Tommy last night?" He turned around and walked with me.

"I don't know. He lashed out and kind of then stormed in his room." I took a sip of my water and nodded my head.

"Well, he's not here. I think he left early this morning." Monte looked up at me as I looked down at him, Monte was short.

"Oh really now…" I grabbed Monte's hand and brought him to Tommy's door, "The source of his problem. Should we?" I watched Tommy's door, I intended on going inside and trying to look for anything that might be the source of why he's been acting so strange lately.

"If we don't do it now, it could get worse." Monte said. He opened Tommy's door and walked in, I followed scanned the room. His room looked exactly like his room on the tour bus. Clothes were all over the place, makeup and shoes marked the floors. We stepped over the clothes and shoes on the floor and looked above everything to make sure we didn't miss anything.

"I'll check over here, check by his bed and night tables." I nodded and preceded, I felt dirty trying to snoop through Tommy's items, but believe it or not, I cared and I love him enough to do whatever I can do to return him back to the way he used to be, the real Tommy. I stepped over one big pile of clothes, but I failed and tripped. I tripped and fell near the night tables, I broke my fall with my arms and took a deep breath, no more scars thank you, and I have enough. I got up and leaned on the night table, but I felt weird sand like substance on the desk where I had put my hand. I lifted my hand from the desk and examined my hand; there was white crystal power on my hand? I rubbed it off and searched the desk. The powder was all over the desk? I wondered, so I looked inside the desk drawer and I saw it. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. Tommy was taking drugs, Methamphetamine to be exact, or known as Crystal Meth. I starred at the powder a bit longer, trying to take this all in. Tommy must be dealing with something so emotionally terrible for him to be sinking as low as to take drugs? I dropped onto the bed with the bag in my hand. I took a deep breath and then got up to show Monte.

"I found, uhh… Meth." I raised my arm to show him the bag of powder, he dropped everything he was doing and took the bag from me. He starred at it for a couple minutes and then looked p at my face.

"Adam, this stuff messes with you. This isn't funny." His voice was stern and serious. I nodded and closed my eyes and pinched myself once again, this was the one time where I wish I was dreaming.

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 25

I walked out of Tommy's room with 4 bags of Crystal Meth in my hand. I walked out in shock, in pain? Tommy was taking a serious drug that could ruin his life. If he didn't get help soon and it escalades to a higher level, the concern could be death for him. Monte and I sat in my room and tried to calm down; we tried to think of some rational reason why Tommy would choose drugs as a solution. I have taken drugs once in my life, but it was once, an experiment, I never intended on becoming addicted. I think Tommy needs an outsiders help, someone other then the voices in his head. Maybe he's run out of choices to follow through with; he's now just chosen to give up? I don't know, maybe he needed someone to talk to? Who would he talk to? He knows he's done wrong with me; Monte and Cam don't either support him here as well… He's been alone this entire time, no one to open up to or to fall back on. I sat there and starred forward with the bags in my hand, Monte glanced over at me.

"What are we going to do?" Monte asked me, I looked at him, looked down at the bags and then back at him.

"Well, what can we do?" I asked. Honestly, it's not too easy to confront a drug addict with there problem.

"We could get him some attention, as in professional help?" Monte suggested, I shot a look at him with a serious face.

"Monte, Tommy isn't crazy; he just doesn't have anyone to fall back on." I looked down, and then I whispered to myself, "That must be terrible."

"Yea… You think we might have been a little hard on him lately?" Monte grabbed one of the bags and inspected it; he looked all around it and then threw it on the floor.

"That's just disgusting." He said to himself.

"I don't think we gave him any choice of forgiveness. He was left to suffer in his own sorrow. Maybe if I were him I would have done the same…" I whispered, Monte looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Adam, don't think that way. No one will ever make you feel that way." Monte laid his hand on my back and cracked a slight smile, but still held his serious look.

"But it's okay to do that to Tommy?" I sighed, "Monte, I now see him. I see what he's been going through this entire time. Believe it or not he's been the one hurt the most." I got up from the bed and hid the Meth in my night table drawer, "I'll talk to him." I walked out then, Monte still sat on the bed speechless. I knew I had a good argument point that Monte just couldn't fight with, I smiled to myself. I'm going to help Tommy; I feel he needs it big time. I walked out into the living room and looked around; I'd walked out here for a reason? I don't know, I guess I just wanted to show Monte a point. I sat on the couch and sighed, then Cam walked out and I stood up.

"Cam!" I said, Cam flinched as she was walking into the kitchen.

"Adam?" She yelled back, confused.

"How are you today?" I smiled and walked towards her; she backed away and laughed just a bit.

"Are you okay? And uh, yea I'm fine, How about you?" Cam then opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water and walked passed me, her eyes still fixed on mine.

"Well, it started out fine, but then I noticed something I didn't before." I hurried to catch to her side, her eyebrows descended.

"Oh yea?" She took a sip of her water, "And what's that?" She stopped walking and faced me, I looked down at her.

"Tommy has a problem." I stated, "And I think he needs our help, all of us." I looked Cam in the eyes; I gave her a serious face.

"Adam, cut to the chase! What's wrong with Tommy?" She set her water down on the coffee table and looked up at me.

"Tommy is taking methenamine, or Crystal Meth." I said in a low voice. Cam's eyes widened and her mouth dropped. She held her hand to her mouth and took a deep breath.

"Are you like, joking?" Cam said, appalled. I shook my head, "I wish, but he needs help and I think I can steer him back onto the right path. I think I'm the only one that can." I looked down; Cam picked my head up and looked me in the eyes.

"Adam, you're right. Tommy needs your help more then ever right now. It's on you whether he sinks or rises." She smiled at me and then left. I stood there after she had left and thought, I think now was the time to forgive Tommy? Maybe he was under the Meth when he had cheated? Well, how was I supposed to know? Or maybe he wanted to try someone knew, someone who could give him more then what he was getting. I don't know for sure, but I hope with everything I have that Tommy is cured. I just have to make sure the press doesn't get a hold of this…

I sighed and started to walk back into my room, until I heard the door slowly inch its way open. I turned quickly, my eyes shot to Tommy. Tommy instantly saw me; he flinched and slowly walked in. I turned around and walked towards Tommy. He had backpack with him and a bag of fast food. He starred at me in confusion; I broke the stare and looked away. He walked passed me and looked back,

"You look like you've seen a ghost or something." Tommy said, he cracked a smile for me and began to walk towards his room. I wanted to stop him, but it wouldn't be long until he notices that something is missing…

about 7 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 26

I saw Monte walk out into the living room when Tommy had entered his. I laughed to myself. While Monte was walking through the hallway to the living room he tripped and landed on his face, he didn't really guard himself at all with his hands or legs. I laughed out loud by accident, Monte looked up at me.

"I swear something just tripped me, you know?" Monte's face turned red out of embarrassment, he was such a dork, and I smiled and helped him up.

"Sure Monte…" I laughed again, "Don't be embarrassed, and if you are just take a look at my face, that's a real fail right there." I was referring to all the scars and bruises on my face so that Monte would get a clue of a real klutz.

"Yea, you're face is a real screw-up." Monte mumbled, I let lose of his hand and he fell back onto the ground, I gave him a sarcastic smile and laughed at his fail of getting up.

"Oh, so you want to play THIS game?" Monte yelled, he then grabbed my leg sending me to fly backwards and land on my back, it hurt like hell. I scrunched my face and gave Monte the evil eye, "Oh, you've done it now!" Monte was attempting to run away when he had tripped me, but I quickly grabbed his leg as well, he fell forwards with his arms dragging across the carpet towards me as I pulled him. I laughed and crawled away. Monte tried to grab me, but he failed once again and I laughed evilly. I crawled all the way to the living room and stood up finally, I took a breath and starred at Monte. Monte was still face-first on the floor, I questioned if I should help him? No, it's called payback. I smiled to myself and continued to watch Monte scramble on the floor trying to get up.

"Okay! Mercy! Help me up!" Monte pleaded, I laughed so hard that I fell onto the couch and hit my head on the armrest, "Ow!" My head stung for about a couple seconds and then I continued to laugh again.

"Oh… I see how it is now. I will remember this little, this little uh, game we had here." Monte got up and brushed all the dirt and dust off of his clothes, "When you need some help and I'm right there… Yea… I. Will. Remember." Monte fixed his hair and then left the room, into his room this time. I smiled as he walked away, I started to brush the dust and dirt off of me as well until I heard Tommy's door open, and I saw him walk out in confusion. I looked up at him and stopped what I was doing.

"Um, should I be concerned about you and Monte?" Tommy smiled, I kept a blank face.

"No." I said.

"You guys make it look so easy to act like little kids." Tommy chuckled and walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I watched him, and kept my facial expression blank.

"Um, Adam?" Tommy walked over to me as he took a sip of his water.

"Hm?" I looked up at him standing above me.

"No one has gone into my room lately, have they?" His fingers gripped the sides of the bottle and he kept a stern, but innocent face on. I looked down and laid my hands on my lap, then looked up at Tommy.

"Not if you don't have anything to hide." My voice lowered and Tommy's face shifted to shocked, he gripped the water more firm and watched my every movement as I lifted from the couch and passed his side to stand behind him, he turned around to face me, he took another sip of his water.

"I'm an open person." Tommy stated; he looked confused on what he should say next. I stood there with my eyes fixed on his.

"An open person talks when they have problems, they don't hide anything." I stepped closer to Tommy; Tommy gulped and then took a sip of water again.

"Tommy, are you nervous or something?" I raised my hand to lie on his shoulder, but he backed away and shook his head.

"No…" He looked down and spoke, "It's nice to know I have privacy in this band." He looked up at me and frowned.

"You should be thankful we care…" I wanted to yell at Tommy then, but I kept a stern voice, I tried not to lose my ground.

"Now you care?" He shut his eyes for a couple of seconds and then opened them; I could see that Tommy was upset.

"I never stopped…" I lifted his head to face mine and looked him in the eyes; I saw a tear run down his face. I wiped his tear and grabbed his water and set it on the floor. I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled him against my body, he stood motionless, sniffling. I held him close for a couple minutes with no response, then let go.

"Drugs are never the answer." I said.

"Sometimes when no one else is there, you have to take risks." Tommy looked down; he rustled his hair with his hands and then looked back up.

"No one knew you were hurting this bad…" I felt helpless, no one ever paid too much attention to how Tommy felt out of this, and they assumed more then anything.

"I feel unwanted, Adam. I feel unwanted all the time, except for the time when I was with you. But the past few weeks I felt like I was slowly dying, I felt all the pain and agony that came with it. I felt I wouldn't be missed, not one bit." Tommy starred straight into my eyes, that second I felt everything that he must have been going through. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how much I'd give for him to feel like he was always wanted, more then he knows, but I couldn't find the exact words to speak it. I looked down,

"You'll never know how much I … I -." I choked; my eyes started to water and I kept my head bowed so that Tommy wouldn't notice.

"You're everything I want, Adam… But you don't want me." Tommy whispered. I looked up at him and felt one single tear fall down my face; I kept my eyes fixed on his.

"I want you, forever…" I whispered back, Tommy cracked a slight smile and stepped closer to me; he cupped my face in his hands and pulled me towards his face. The way his lips moved so perfectly with mine made the moment, our moment. I pulled him tighter, gradually moved my hands up and down his back and finally up his neck to rustle with his beautiful blonde hair. He laughed just a bit and smiled, he pushed me back, sending me to land on my back on the couch with him hovering over my body. He kept himself hovering over me while his lips were still locked on mine. Suddenly, he stopped to breathe, I looked over at his arms that were holding his entire body up, I saw his veins popping out, starting from his hand all the way up to his elbow. I thought to myself, that's a turn-on… Then he pressed his face to mine again.

Chapter 27

He laid one hand on my cheek and slowly stroked it. I could feel my arm hairs starting to rise, he gave me Goosebumps, all the time. He took in one large breath and spoke softly,

"I can't believe you're all mine." Tommy said, I cracked a smile and traced my hand across his back, I leaned forward to peak his lips with mine, and he smiled.

"No matter what you do, always, love." I whispered, Tommy listened in closely.

"I don't mean to do all that… but-"Tommy began to say,

"Shh…" I pressed my finger to Tommy's lips, "Just kiss me." I forced Tommy's face into mine, Tommy's face lightened up. He traced my face with his perfect lips, it felt nice, and it felt good to be secure with Tommy, again. I just lay there, motionless, watching Tommy kiss all around my face. Then, I started to think about everything, my fans, the bus, the drummer that soon needed to be hired, my fans…again. What must they be thinking? I hope their not too worried, but I needed to get back out there, the tour was almost over. Tommy then rested his head on my shoulder and took deep breaths. I closed my eyes, started to day dream and relax, but suddenly I heard footsteps. I shot my head to the right to only find Monte checking on Tommy and me to see if we were okay.

"Damn, you guys can't get enough of each other, can you?" Monte kept a straight face, but I could see that he put a bit of sarcasm into his words so I just cracked a smile and nodded. Tommy laughed, he then climbed off of me and gave Monte a "Manly Hug", and I crossed my arms and smiled, again.

"Thanks Man. I mean, it's good to know you guys care." Tommy left then; he walked into his room and shut the door. I leaned forward and sat on the couch normally, Monte walked closer to me.

"So, Adam, We seriously need a drummer. While you and Tommy must have… done whatever you did out here, I made some calls and whatnot. Turns out, we have a bus and Isaac is scheduled to meet us here in about 2 hours. I couldn't wait any longer, he needed to come and see you before he was admitted into the band, you down with all of this?" Monte's eyes widened and I could tell he was in sort of a hurry. I nodded,

"Um, yes of course. When do you think we'll be back on the road and onto the next venue?" Monte looked up and held his hand to his chin, he thought.

"As soon as Isaac gets his things for the road, I'll call up the bus and they'll escort it here." Monte smiled, "I got you bro!" I don't know what I would do without Monte, he had all of this taken care of right when he needed to be, I was so grateful. Without him the tour would be canceled.

"Thank you so much, Monte. But when Isaac comes, what do I do? Do I just question him and stuff?" I wondered, I got up from the couch and looked down to Monte.

"Oh yea, I mean he's coming just so you get a taste of what he looks like, his attitude and his outlook on everything. I mean, you wouldn't accept anyone into your band without knowing a little bit about them." Monte had a point; I nodded and left the living room. While on my way to my room I stopped at Tommy's door, I felt I needed to know what he was doing. I pressed my ear against his door oh-so gently and tried to listen in on anything I could. I heard the soft melody of "Whataya Want from Me" coming from his guitar. I could feel a smile, but suddenly he stopped and put his guitar down from what I had heard. I quickly acted normal and strolled along to my room. Behind me I heard Tommy open his door and look around; I turned around and acted as if I didn't know what was going on.

"Tommy, is there something wrong?" My voice gradually got higher in pitch; I cleared my throat and watched Tommy.

"No…Adam." Tommy cracked a smile for me and then walked back into his room and left the door open, he wasn't stupid. I chuckled and headed over to my room.

I walked into my room and looked around, what to do, what to do? I looked over at the clock, 2:43.

"Damn it…" I whispered to myself. I sighed and switched on my radio, kicked back on my bed and relaxed.

"This is wild 104.1 where we bring you the best music all the time. But right now, we have a bit of news for you guys. The cool rocker, Adam Lambert seems to be getting back on the road for his tour soon. He'd had a couple incidents, but now he's back on track." The announcer sighs, "Thank god he's okay. I can honestly say I was a bit worried when he was in his coma. Call in and tell us what you think about all of this at 4567789, and again this is wild 104.1 music." I thought to myself, how in the world does the radio know what I've just decided about 10 minutes ago? Damn, the power of the press, I guess.

"Thank you caller number 406, what do you think about Adam Lambert's journey this entire time?" The caller sighed and then started to speak, "Well Ty, to tell you the truth, I'm a big fan of Adam, I love everything he does," I smiled. "And to think he was at the risk of dying, I would have died. I don't know what the world would do if Adam had left us, it's unimaginable." I laughed to myself, I never knew I'd mad such an incredible impact on one person, I suddenly felt nice. But then I heard my door open and Tommy walked in, I looked over at him and then at the radio again for the next caller. Tommy inched his way next to my on the bed and wrapped his arm around my stomach and his head resting on my shoulder. I started to stroke his hair with my hand; I leaned over to him and kissed his forehead.

"I love you." I said while starring up at the ceiling. Tommy snuggled closer to my body, "I love you too, babe." Tommy said softer then I.

"Thank you caller 406, that was great. Okay, next on the line is Robby from New York. You're on Robby…" The announcer said, I could feel Tommy's breathing as he was so close to me, it relaxed me.

"Thanks Ty, Umm, What do I think about all of what's happened to Adam? He's sure got some nerve in everything he does, I think what he got was pay back for all the shit he's pulled. I mean, he's not a too good of an influence on kids or teenagers these days, or anyone for that matter. He's garbage to the music industry, really… we don't need him, and he won't be missed by me." Tommy shot up from the bed and gave the radio a dirty look. I laughed to myself and pulled Tommy back to my side.

"That stupid fu-"Tommy began to say, I quickly covered his mouth with my hand and tried not to laugh.

"Tommy, I'm going to have haters. They come with the job, try not to let it get to you." Tommy lifted his head and gave me a dirty look, I gave him a smile and pulled him back close to me.

"It's going to get to me, always." Tommy mumbled, I laughed. I then heard Monte scream…

"Adam! Come over here and meet Isaac!" I jumped off the bed and stumbled a bit, I looked over at Tommy who was grabbing the blankets over him, I heard him mumble "Why is it so damn cold in here?" Then I left. I walked through the hall and finally into the living room, then I saw Isaac. He gave me the biggest smile yet, and then greeted me with a handshake.

"Mr. Lambert, it's an honor to meet you, my name is Isaac Carpenter."

Chapter 28

I shook Isaac's hand and smiled back at him, he was a nice looking guy. He was dressed in a formal jacket and a simple band shirt, complimented with baggy jeans and a shark tooth necklace. His hair was pulled back with a black and white bandana and his wrists were filled with different types of bracelets, but what stood out the most was his big smile. It dominated any other part of his face, it was cute.

"Please, call my Adam. It's nice to meet you Isaac." I smiled and walked forward to the living room, "You can just follow me." Isaac shrugged and followed me, I led him to the living room where I instructed him to sit on the couch while I tried to scatter for the papers I was supposed to fill out while interviewing Isaac.

"You guys are in a hotel?" Isaac talked a bit louder so that I would hear him, considering I was tearing the room apart looking for those papers.

"Um, we were all in a bit of a bus crash a couple weeks ago. The bus was trash so my band rented a hotel." I kept my eyes away from Isaac and in focus for any sight of the papers.

"Oh, don't take this the wrong way, but is that why you have a bunch of scars and bruises on your face?" Isaac's voice sounded innocent, it was a little anxious about how I would take his question in.

"Yep. I'm sorry; I don't think they'll heal for a couple weeks or so. You'll have to deal with looking at it…" I chuckled and sighed, I walked into the kitchen and searched the counters and finally found the papers lying on the kitchen counter near the fridge, "Finally…" I whispered to myself. I grabbed the papers and continued to walk over to Isaac, I spotted him scanning the hotel room, and he looked interested in the band and everything that we've had to offer. I sat by his side on the couch and scanned the papers; it was a bunch of crap on his past jobs and how he thinks he'll affect the band. I sighed and threw the papers on the floor, Isaac shot his eyes over at them, and he looked back up to me to find me smiling big.

"So, Isaac, what's up?" I said, with curiosity.

"The usual, man. Living day by day waiting for something exciting to happen." Isaac spoke in a shill tone; his voice was yet soothing to hear. I nodded.

"Oh yea, I know what you mean. Well then I bet this interview is something to remember then, him?"

"I'm actually really nervous, I don't know how you guys would like me, but I figured if I just acted myself… I'd have a better chance. But Adam, you're cool. I mean I can talk to you without feeling like you don't like me." He smiled and laughed to himself, I smiled back.

"I don't judge. That's why I wanted to get to know you a bit more. But Monte has told me so much about you." Isaac's face lit up.

"Good things, right?" I laughed and nodded.

"I don't think there would be anything bad to say about you." I got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, grabbed 2 waters and then proceeded back. Isaac took the water and gulped down half the bottle in one sip, I watched him as I just took one baby sip.

"Oh, good…" Isaac said.

"You sure you're not nervous?" I asked, Isaac amused me for some reason.

"Well, uhh… dude you're Adam Lambert. Oh god! I'm not like a crazed fan or whatever, but of course I want to make a good impression on you and stuff." Isaac took another drink of water.

"No, don't be nervous. You'll get to find out I'm no different then you are." I stated, Isaac had made an exquisite impression on me when he's walked in. There was no doubt in my mind that he was going to make the band, but I wanted to make him wonder.

"But you know that this band goes to the extremes?" I referred to my sexuality; I mean that is the one biggest reason why I wanted to meet this kid.

"Oh… of course! I mean like, this band is just the shit … " Isaac stopped and thought about what he had said, he'd cursed and he didn't think that was okay for an interview. I laughed, "Go on…"

"Oh, I mean I don't judge at all. Dude, I think we'll be somewhere some day, like doing something legendary! Umm, yea." He laughed and continued. "I'm sorry, I …" Isaac had lost his words and lost track of what'd I'd ask him, I think he caught what I was throwing at him, but didn't really know how to respond. I nodded and got up from the couch.

"Isaac, you're a great guy and all, but…" I started to say, right then Isaac's face dropped and he'd wondered what he'd said or done wrong.

"You're not what I'd expected you to turn out to be…" I continued, I left it at that to watch Isaac's expression, he lifted from the couch and rested his hand on my shoulder.

"It's cool, man. I mean I'm not your guy." He said.

"You've turned out better then I'd expected." I smiled and waited his reaction.

"What? Wait, no way! I'm in?" Isaac couldn't help but jump and smile, I watched him and nodded in agreement, I know he'll make the perfect fit into the band.

"Oh my god, this is great! Thank you so much!" Isaac jumped up and down and finally came forward towards me and forced a hug; I stumbled backwards and held a grip on him. This kid made me happy, I think he's just what the entire band needs.

"I have to go call my mom!" Isaac announced, he ran out of the hotel and into the parking lot to call his mom, I laughed to myself and ripped the papers and threw them in the garbage. I heard Monte walk in the living room then, he'd been smiling when I saw him.

"So, what did I tell you?" Monte smiled.

"Yea, he's so in." I told Monte, "This kid is great!" Monte smiled yo himself and mumbled, "Cause I'm just that good."

Chapter 29

Monte followed me outside,

"Adam, I just called the bus company. They're on there way here now, dude this bus is just out of control. I've seen pictures and junk of it and let me just tell you, you're not going to want to leave. I hooked us up!" Monte's expression was priceless; it was a mixture of excitement and hyperactive-ness.

"Really? What's it have in it? A disco ball? A hot tub? Wait, I got it, swimsuit models!" I smiled bigger and bigger as I continued guessing.

"Uh, no. How about it's got your name written on the entire bus with Glam Nation as well, inside we have rooms for everyone, but there're small, I mean it's just a bus. But the best part is, I hooked us up with a hot tub!" I gasped, shocked. Monte just sat there with a nice little grin on his face saying "You can thank me later, I know I'm amazing." It amused me.

"Oh my god. That's beautiful…" I grew excited, I mean how many people can say they have a hot tub on they're tour bus! That's something to make Justin Bieber jealous, I smiled to myself. Right then Isaac came back running towards Monte and I.

"Alright guys, so my mom just like freaked on the phone. I think that's approval." He smiled, Monte laughed.

"You're good, kid. People like you just don't come along. Welcome to the band." Monte said, I could feel Isaac wanting to jump in excitement, but he had a handful of self control, I'd say.

"I have my stuff, Monte told me to bring stuff for the tour bus if I made it in, do I just…?" Isaac pointed back to his car. Isaac had a nice Escalade Truck, I shot my eyes over to his car and felt I could drop to my knees and bow down to his car, and it was great.

"Oh yea. " Monte said, "Dude, that's a nice looking car you have there." I watched Monte step a bit closer to his car, Isaac laughed.

"Really, it's nothing. I mean…" He laughed, "It was a birthday gift."

"And you're leaving this behind?" I asked Isaac.

"Well yea, I mean I'm touring now, with you guys, right?" Isaac's face read confused.

"Yea, you're going to have to leave it though. You have anyone picking it up?" Monte asked Isaac.

"Mhm." Isaac said.

Then, Tommy walked out with all of his items from inside the hotel, I turned to face him.

"Adam, this is the most best smelling soap I have ever smelt. It's mine now." Tommy smiled, I laughed and grabbed him to snuggle. He dropped his bags to wrap his arms around me as well. I saw Monte rest his arm on Isaac's shoulder and walk to Isaac's car. I sighed,

"Damn, this has been one hell of a drama filled week, wasn't it?" Tommy released his grip from me and lifted his bags from off the floor.

"You're telling me…" I said, softly. I then turned around and spotted the tour bus. My mouth dropped, I loved it. The bus read: Adam Lambert. And under that it said: The Glam Nation Tour. I thought, that's one way to yell at paparazzi to come and attack the band and I. My heart suddenly started to beat just a bit faster; I got just a bit excited for the new tour bus. Then suddenly, I heard Cam yell and run towards Tommy and I.

"It's nice to know you guys were going to leave without me?" Cam caught up to us, she sounded out of breath. I laughed at her; Tommy shook his head, grabbed his bags and walked to drop his bags off onto the tour bus.

"Oh Cam, never! I mean, knowing you, you probably were looking at shoe sales and that's why you didn't notice we were all packed and ready." Cam gave me a sarcastic smile; she lifted her bag with trouble and wobbled onto the bus. I didn't want to enter the bus just yet, so I took a seat on the sidewalk and watched Monte and Isaac load Isaac's things from his car to the bus. I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky; I saw beautiful, white, fluffy looking clouds. I smiled to myself, "Natures beauty." I whispered. Then I heard Tommy scream from the bus,

"Adam! Are you coming? I have all of your stuff; we're ready to leave now!" Tommy kept his eyes fixed on me for a couple seconds and then stepped off the bus. I watched his walk toward me, I observed everything. Tommy walked with pride, you could tell. You can tell some things about someone by the way they walk. People swear you can tell there're sexuality, but I think that's just crap. I do find it fascinating that by just observing the way people chose to walk, you can assume there're personalities.

"Whatcha doing, babe?" Tommy bent to my level as I was sitting. I looked up into his eyes, they sparkled. If I could cry, I would, out of happiness. I smiled at Tommy, he smiled back to me. I hurried and rose to his face and pecked his lips, he shut his eyes and then opened them slowly. I could feel him thinking, then about 2 seconds later he cupped my face in his hands and with just a bit of force, then he touched his lips to mine. He finally released, I took a deep breath and then smiled. That was great, I thought. That's how I want to leave the hotel, knowing that I was worry free.

"I love you." I kept my eyes shut from our kiss, Tommy chuckled.

"I love you, more. But I'm working on getting you to know that." Tommy grabbed my hand to pull me up, "C'mon, let's go." I followed Tommy, but I also looked over at Isaac and Monte loading the tour bus, I spotted Isaac laughing and Monte smiling while lifting Isaac's suitcase. I thought, at this moment, I feel very much happy. I don't think anyone or anything could break my mood now.

Chapter 29

When I stepped onto the bus I felt a sense of a new beginning. The bus was splattered with glitter and glam; I fell in love with it. I examined the bus all around; everything was just the way I would want it to be. The walls of the bus were navy blue with a single white stripe running down the entire wall. The couches were real leather and the rugs read Glam Nation. I stood in the middle of the living room taking this all in. Suddenly I heard Monte creep over to me, I flinched.

"So, what do you think?" Monte smiled. I turned around, smiled and nodded.

"I knew you would like it." He bragged.

"You must have put a lot of thought into this, Monte…" I said as I kept my eyes fixed on the bus. I heard Monte sigh,

"Um, yea I did. While you were in a coma I kept busy with everything. I had to do something to keep my mind off of you…" I kept my back facing him, but I could feel a smile growing on my face. I loved the fact that my band was worried about me, lets me know that they care more then I thought they did.

"I'm really sorry all of this happened, it's just added stress weight." I sighed and said.

"Well, it needed to be done anyway. We're all just glad you're okay." Monte patted my back and walked away. I thought to myself for a second, I want to leave all of my worries behind, start fresh; forget everything that's hurt me in the past. It's not worth it to hold a grudge. I took a seat on the couch and relaxed, but then I'd heard my phone go off. I struggled to grab my phone through my leather tight pants, that's about one draw back of wearing skin tight pants. When I finally grabbed a hold of my phone I noticed that it was Brother Neil.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Adam, hey! Thanks for calling me … brother…" Neil seemed annoyed, I chuckled then spoke.

"Oh god, I'm sorry man… There has been a bunch of crap happening lately and I couldn't really take time off to call you." Neil kept silent, I filled the gab of silence then, "but how have you been? Anything new happen?" Neil sighed,

"No, you tell me why the hell you were in a BUS crash? How come I had to hear this from the news and not from Monte or Tommy or even Cam? And who in the HELL is Isaac?" I couldn't help but laugh at him; he had a tone of sarcasm and annoyance merged together.

"Ugh, it's not funny Adam!" Neil yelled.

"Um, I don't remember how the bus crashed, all I remember is Tommy and Monte fighting and then the bus driver came out and yelled at them. Then I believe I fell forward and shattered my head against the glass coffee table. I'm fine; I just have a bunch of scars and bruises on my face. Oh, and Isaac is the bands new drummer." I spoke calmly and smooth so that Neil wouldn't lose his cool and scream again.

"I see how important I am. Cause' I love how I watch the news one day and start crying because I thought my brother died. You know the news said that you weren't going to make it and they got that message from the doctors that took you in." I could hear Neil's voice get higher…

"My band didn't think I would make it either, but they had hope. Neil, I'm blessed so many people wanted me back. Someone must really like me up there…" I'm glad I can talk to Neil, he's the one person I can say anything to and he won't take it the wrong way or judge or hold a grudge on it. He forgives and forgets, to other eyes they might think otherwise, but Neil is the most caring person I know. Well, to the people that meant something to him. Neil has always accepted me for who I was and not for the way I looked or for my choice on love. He was always supporting and fighting for my comfort in my own skin; in the time when I really needed it. I felt bad I hadn't talked to him in a while; I think I forgot about him. Drama can do crazy things to you; it works in the most evil ways.

"Adam, too many people adore you. You're loved all over; you can't say that you aren't." Neil was calm now; he spoke at a normal tone.

"I am aware, Neil. But I've been having problems with Tommy and whatnot. The main problem was him at the moment. The press seemed to get a hold of that fast…" I said.

"Yea, they did. The press only knows about the club incident and what Tommy did. Do you know how fucking pissed I was, man?" I laughed as Neil stayed strong on his serious tone.

"That was the worst day of my life. But I don't want to discuss the anymore, it's the past, it's done with now." I said, and then I sighed and slouched on my couch and switch the phone from one ear to the other.

"What else happened with Tommy?" I could feel Neil was determined to find out one way or another on what other drama happened with Tommy. I thought for a second, Neil had a right to know, he is my brother and I can tell him anything. But maybe he can tell me what to from this point on.

"After the club incident, he insisted that she was forceful and that he was drunk and stuff like that, surprisingly I understood all of that and I felt for him there, So after that we were good until Monte started to butt into me and Tommy's business. He had a reason, but that day of the crash… Monte and Tommy had gotten into a fist fight and the bus driver was so distracted that he didn't pay too much attention to the road and swerved into the other lane and crashed. I had gone to the hospital for multiple reasons obviously, but while I was in a coma Tommy appeared to still be in contact with the girl from the club… he didn't do anything with her he just talked and flirted and stuff with her." I had a boat load of other things to say, but I had just left it at that. Neil was silent for a second; all I could hear was the soft sound of his breath.

"Why are you still with him?" Neil gasped, I thought…

"I don't know. I love him…" I breathed…

"No, no you don't. You can't love someone who obviously doesn't love you back." Neil said. He had a point.

"It's possible." I said, Neil kept silent, but I heard him sigh.

"You are something else, Adam. I swear you open me up to things I would have never thought of without coming in an encounter with you." Neil shuffled in the phone for a couple of seconds and then came back on, "Sorry I dropped the phone." I chuckled and smiled.

"That's what I'm hear for, bro." If I was talking to Neil right now in person I could swear he would be smiling right now. I knew my brother too well.

Chapter 31

I slowly descended the phone from my face down to my lap. I sighed and I thought about what Neil had to say to me through out the entire phone call. He never did really give me any positive reinforcement on Tommy. I know at the back of my mind that the right thing to do was leave Tommy, but I'm not strong enough to deal with the emotional pain just yet. I knew I loved him, and I know for a fact that he doesn't feel the same about me. If he did, he'd bend over backwards just to earn my trust back. I closed my eyes and listened in on everyone shuffling, talking, laughing, and walking around the bus. Isaac's voice pierced through to my ears stronger then anyone else's.

"Yea, Man. Oh, my room is this one?" Isaac chuckled and then shuffled himself with his luggage into his room.

"I love it. It's great." Isaac said.

"Good. Just get yourself situated and then when you're done I'll gather everyone around for business talk." Monte spoke; he wanted to work out the kinks for the tour set list, venue location…all of that good stuff. I quickly shot open my eyes and right there, gawking at me was Tommy. I jumped, gasped.

"Oh god!" I gasped.

"Were you sleeping?" Tommy asked in a low hushed tone.

"No, I wasn't." I gave him a quick look of disgust and got up. As I tried to pass him, he hooked his arm into mine and pulled me in place to meet his face. I looked down, avoiding any eye contact. Right now, what rang through my mind was Neil and what he had to say about Tommy. What Neil had to say about him was nothing I wanted to hear, but he only spoke the truth and I knew it. Tommy graced my face with his hand and smiled.

"I miss the way we used to be, babe." Tommy whispered, I looked into his eyes and showed no expression. He raised his eyebrows,

"Do you think we could?" and again, no answer. I slowly tried to push my way out of his grip without trying to be forceful. Tommy showed no sign of letting go, I sighed.

"Tommy, I have to go unpack." I said. Tommy looked at me in confusion; he obviously didn't take my hint too well. He gave me a half smile and angled my face to meet his again. He slowly pecked my lips once, twice, three times… I could feel he wanted to go further. I shut my eyes and played along for about a couple seconds. I peeked out when still attached to Tommy's lips and saw Isaac in the corner of my eye, kind of just looking at us. I felt he knew something I didn't. He gave Tommy a shame look, but he looked at me with innocence. I met eyes with his for about a millisecond, then he panicked and proceeded to his room. Tommy leaned forward and traced my back with his hands. I dug the palm of my hand into his lower stomach to refuse and pushed him away. I glanced at him, still with his eyes shut in confusion. I shook my head and walked pass him.

"Damn…" I heard his whisper as I left. I couldn't help but smile just a bit at Tommy's reaction to leaving. I proceeded to my room to unpack my stuff. I sped walked, constantly looking backwards for any signs of Tommy following me. I wanted to be alone, or with someone I can talk to. There were so many things on my mind I thought I was going to explode. Every time I'm just as the least bit happy, something, anything has to come and knock it away, always. I looked back once more, but bumping into Isaac as I wasn't paying attention.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I, I'm going to go unpack." I stuttered in sight of Isaac. Isaac held his hands up and walked pass me to show room for me to walk.

"You okay, Adam?" Isaac asked.

"Fine." I said as I walked passed him, he glared at me as I showed no care for our conversation. I entered my room and took a deep breath, looked around, smiled, and thought to myself: I can't wait to perform again. I miss my fans. I took a glance down the hall and spotted Isaac slowly making his way to my room, maybe trying to still decide on whether to come or not. I watched him as he and I made quick eye contact.

"You like the show, hm?" I announced as he stepped foot in my room. Isaac shook his head.

"You'll eventually get too much of it." I said as I rubbed my eyes in stress.

"Oh. Well, I wanted to just … I wasn't watching you on purpose with Tommy. I just happen to uhh, walk pass you guys. It was awkward; I just wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't like, stalking you guys." Isaac stuttered just a bit, he didn't know how to word anything. I chuckled and held one hand up.

"You're fine. You didn't do anything wrong, Tommy and I don't hide from anyone. It's not like you saw a murderer." I laughed a bit then turned to face him.

"No…" He smiled. My eyes widened a bit as Isaac eyes searched my room in a couple seconds. I watched his smile fade from our conversation. He slid his hands in his pockets, looked back up into my eyes and another smile grew.

"You know, you can work people with that smile." I giggled and smiled back at him.

"Really?" Isaac raised one eyebrow and gave a seductive smile, "I'll keep that in mind." I shot a look back at him in response. His smile froze. I held my hands to my hips and observed him.

"Hm… Good." I said. Isaac's hand gripped the top of the bus door, but he then took a couple more steps into my room and leaned the door closer to the hinges, I watched him carefully. He walked with pride in what he did; he kept an expression of mischief. I found that attractive.

"You need help unpacking?" Isaac suggested. I nodded. I bent over to search for a suitcase, but too my surprise Isaac had spotted one before I had and bent over me to grab it. I stood in place, dumbfounded. Isaac lifted my suitcase onto the bed with one hand and then sighed. I arose to my feet and leaned against the wall, examining him. Isaac tore the zipper open and looked over my suitcase to see where he'd put everything. I glanced over at the suitcase and noticed that everything in there were essentials. I could feel my face getting hotter; Isaac was unpacking my briefs and socks. He chuckled as he looked over them again.

"You don't have to uhh; you can leave that one on the bed…" I said, pointing to the suitcase. Isaac shot a look at me.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know this one had your essentials in it." Isaac said. He made his way to where I leaned.

"Do you have another suitcase?" Isaac stood close, almost too close. His scent stung through my nose, his facial features screamed to come in contact with me. I watched him, eyed him from head to toe and then looked back up at his eyes. He took a deep breath.

"Yea…" I said softly. Isaac took a tiny step closer to me, as close as he was getting without touching my face. I raised my hand to his waist area and gently rested my hand on his lower back to push him closer. His eyes widened and then appeared that alluring seductive smile he possessed. Isaac rested his hands, just touching the back of my neck. He forced my face to his, so gently. I took my one last look into his eyes until I closed them; he chuckled, and then slowly kissed my lips. His hands quickly slid up my neck and tangled through my hair, I heard him take a deep breath. Isaac let go of me and looked down. I tightened my grip on his hand then quickly let go. He shot a look up at me; his face read confusion and regret. He shook his head and walked out of my room. When I was alone, I cupped my hands to my face and slowly slid down my wall.

about 6 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 32

My mind was blown. My feelings were fucked. Everything wasn't making any sense. I kept my knees snuggled against my body. I don't know what it is about Isaac, but he makes me feel … I thought for a second. Actually, he makes me feel as Tommy did at first. What I would give to make my life reverse back to where everything was the way I liked it, the way everyone was comfortable with. Tommy was a part of the band, he wasn't leaving. Whatever does happen, if Tommy leaves or stays, I'll never look at him the same as I did before the club incident. The wound was definitely too deep. I wiped my eyes and sniffled again. What am I doing? Am I seriously acting like this? I swear love can do some serious damage to which you are, it can make you act in ways you didn't think you would ever act. Love can knock you to new levels. I got up, fixed myself and proceeded to unpack once again.

About an hour into setting everything up in my room, I heard the door shuffle. It was Cam. I gave her a warm "Welcome" smile and then continued to clean. She looked around and nodded.

"You clean up good, Bud." Cam said. I looked at her and nodded.

"Thanks." I said. Cam took a seat on my bed and unwined. She took a deep breath and relaxed.

"I just wanted to talk to you…" Cam said, I groaned just a bit. I had a feeling where this was going.

"Oh yea?" I said.

"I mean, I don't feel as close to you as anyone else in this band." Cam threw her hands up, "Isaac is closer to you then I am now!" I laughed and smiled at her.

"Oh, Cam!" I came to sit next to her on the bed, "We've all been busy and I swear whenever we aren't busy, some crap has to come." Cam nodded in agreement.

"I know right?" Cam chuckled then took a look at me; she looked confused for a second. I looked in back of me and then at her again in confusion.

"What?" I said.

"Um, have you been crying?" Cam asked. I immediately covered my face, but to make it look like I didn't just freak out and slap myself in the face, I moved my hands to my hair and quickly fixed it. I lifted from the bed and sighed.

"Oh, Adam… you're like my little brother. I hate to see you like this." Cam said.

"I hate it too." I said.

"What's bugging you?" Cam asked, lifting from the bed and touching my upper arm in comfort.

"There are a lot of things on my mind."

"Like?"

"My fans, the tour, Tommy… Isaac." I said, I turned to see Cam's reaction, but she just kept a straight face and nodded in understanding. I felt I could open up to her. I felt she knew exactly how I felt without experiencing it herself. I thought, maybe what I need is someone like Cam to talk to all the time; I've kept all of this crap bottled up inside me, without anyway to let it out. It hasn't done much good in the past.

"Your fans will always be there for you, Adam. Don't think they are ever leaving." Cam said, smiling. I nodded… I knew that. But I just wanted to give them more then I could. My career is based on my fans completely, I never feel like I please them fully, ever.

"Yea, I know." I said.

"Baby, after the bus accident and the tour being put on hold, I think that gave us all time to get situated with ourselves. Plus, with you being in a coma, in the hospital, on the verge of dying…" Cam took a second to get herself together, "I've never been so scared in my life, they said you weren't going to make it. I know for a fact that after that happened and we found out that you were going to be just fine, everyone was thanking god that we have what we have now. I feel everyone has gotten closer after that incident. You may not see it, but baby, every single person on this bus cares so much for you. They know what you go through on a daily basis. It's not easy, it never will be. But, you're such a strong person, it's incredible. You see the good in people, even when it's almost impossible too." I sat there and looked at Cam, I felt the tears coming, but I held them back.

"Cam, no one knows what I go through on a daily basis."

"Tommy does." Cam said, I shot a nasty look at her and frowned. She should have known better not to mention Tommy in the situation…

"Yea, cause he causes it." I said.

"This band will one day split. I can see it." Cam said exactly what I had feared she would. If I saw it coming and so did Cam, then it was happening whether we like it or not.

"I think about that everyday and it kills me. We've worked so hard on this band…" I turned around and covered my face for a couple seconds to fix myself, "And it's my entire fault it's falling apart. You know, sometimes I wonder if I've ever done any good for anyone here. It wouldn't make any difference if I would have died in the hospital, you guys would have lost your lead singer, that's IT!" My voice increased in volume, I noticed it when I was done speaking, I started to lower my voice. I knew at some point in this conversation that my anger would take a hold of me. I did all I can to refuse that.

"How could you…" Cam whispered, "How could you EVEN think that? You're this band's heart and soul. PLUS, even outside of the band, you're our everything, because of you we are the people we are."

"Exactly. Have you seen Tommy? Yea, I did that. Thank you Cam, I know that already." I said, I'd changed Tommy completely. Tommy was this loving and caring person before we started anything. He cared for this band more then anything, like Isaac does now. Tommy was sweet and funny and outgoing and fun before all of this. NOW look at him? After we started everything, LOOK at him now? Who did that? Cam? Monte? NO! I did… There is no one else to blame but myself. Everyone else is nothing to blame, they just sat back and watched it all happen and escalade to a level where it could not be fixed. I looked at Cam, she KNEW where I was going, and she KNEW I was right. But to my surprise, she had nothing to say. I nodded in agreement and opened the door for her.

"You have nothing else to say, I know." I gestured her to leave, she just sat there and watched me.

"No, you opened Tommy. Tommy was a little closed shell when you came to him. He was never going to sprout without you. You came in and gave him life, but Adam get this, you opened to who he really was. You fell in love with someone who hadn't yet grown. If anything, you made Tommy a better person." Cam got up and left then, I watched her leave, dumbfounded again. She had a point, a point that I had never thought about. When she was out of sight I closed the door and flopped onto my bed and thought, I'm going to fix this, whether the fix is good or bad.

about 6 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 33

I arose from my bed and peeked out my door. I searched for someone, someone as in Tommy. I wonder what he was up to? I slowly walked out of my room, acting as if nothing was wrong. I reached the sitting room finally and saw him with a tiny backpack. Tommy was finishing with stuffing the backpack with items that I couldnt see. I tried to guess what he was putting into his backpack, but it was almost impossible; the only thing I could guess that was in there was water bottlesbecause of all the small bumps. Tommy then turned around and spotted me looking over his shoulder a bit, he gave me the dirtiest look and stepped back.

"You can stop here, ben!" Tommy yelled to the busdriver. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on.

"Where are you going?" I asked, Tommy.

"And you care, why?" Tommy snapped back.

"I don't know, You seem angry."

"Oh, really?" Tommy just spit a truck load of sarcasm into my face just then, I stepped back and held my hands up.

"Fine. Maybe someone should go with you? Just incase you get lost or something, you don't know this city, plus you don't have a phone so we can contact you..." I said, still worried.

"Adam, I'm a grown man. I think I can handle wondering a city without anything happening to me." Tommy turned so my face was now glaring at his backside. I sighed.

"You know know WHAT could happen." I said to myself, hoping Tommy would catch it. Tommy chuckled to himself and shook his head to himself.

"I'll be back sometime later..." Tommy then jerked the door open and jumped out of the bus. I walked into sight of the doorway and watched Tommy speed walk down a long alley looking hall. I stood there as my heart pumped just a little faster and my face began to feel hotter. What is going on? What am I doing?

I started to panic a little; why was I doing all of this? Am I sick? No... This just started. Then, I decided to follow Tommy. I had a gut-wrentching feeling something was going to happen if Tommy wasn't accompanied by someone. I hurried and slipped my shoes on and ran out the door, as I ran I looked down to see my shoe laces flop back and fourth between my shoes and back, I prayed I wouldn't trip on them; I had no time to stop and take care of it. I quickly jogged down the path I saw Tommy walk through, no sign of him. I turned a sharp corner, nothing. I stopped and started to speed walk down this dark alley, it was starting to become dusk and I had little time of light. I sighed to myself. As I kept walking I heard a low, deep, pounding sound? No... ? Was it the bass of loud music being played? No, it couldn't be... The pounding was so clear... Like it I could feel it through the walls I was walking near. I slowly walked toward one of the walls, as the pounding got louder and louder, my heart started to race faster and faster. What the hell is that noise? I stopped and stood silent. AA minute went by, no sound; 2 minutes, nothing. A couple more seconds later, I heard a low groan, over and over, but slowly and painfully. Did someone run over a dog or something? I walked toward the groaning, as I got closer I heard loud shuffling as well as groaning. I rubbed my eyes to focus on the distance better, to only see 5 big men, dressed in black, all black. They all stood in a little group, surrounding something...someone? I hid myself, peeked through the group. To find a man in the middle of them. What do I do? Should I call the cops? Should I run over and try to help the dude? The cops, I'll call the- FUCK! My cell phone is on the bus, THIS is what I get for rushing. I sighed and slowly creeped over to the group. I got a perfectly clear view of the man, blonde hair, most of his hair covered half of his face... He wore black boots and a white V-Neck to contrast the color of his dark black leather- OH MY... That's Tommy! Tommy is getting beat! I started to freak out, I dropped to my knees and screamed a bit into my hands. Suddenly, the group became silent, they heard me. I froze in place.

"Hey, you hear that?" One man said.

"You must be retarded, man. No one comes down this hall. No one is here." The other said.

"NO! I swear I heard someone scream."

"Man, get outta here!"

"Dude, we get caught killing this kid and that's the END of us! THE END!" The man said. Tommy groaned in pain.

"Tell me, Tell me where you heard this sound then?" The other said, annoyed.

"Somewhere in that area." I hoped and prayed the man did not point out where I was, I stood frozen. I heard footsteps get closer and closer to where I was crouching. I stopped breathing to make even less sound. I started to cry then, So much for silence. I thought about the end... of Tommy? Or Me? Or the both of us? No! We'll get out... Hopefully. I waited as the footsteps became even more closer, my heart raced faster then ever. I heard both men load a small hand-gun and creep closer. I was hidden in a shadow, in an extreamely obvious place. I only hope and pray they don't turn their heads, I'm in clear view.

Chapter 34

As I slowly breathed in and out as quietly as I possibly could, I found it difficult in result to my heart pounding in and out of my chest every second. I've never been this nervous in my entire life, neither been in a life or death situation before with no IDEA of what to do, But i had to do SOMETHING soon, before the men got back to Tommy. God only knows what they'll do to him once they think someone is watching them. I slided ever-so-slights across the brick wall I was sitting against to get a quick view of the men, they had passed where I was hiding, thank god. I watched then ease over to the begining of the ally, where I had entered. They about 20 feet away from where I was now, I had time to dart out without being noticed, untill noticed. I've been crouching in that one corner for so long I couldn't feel my ass when I got up, I wanted to groan in pain from the numbing of my butt, but that wouldn't be the best Idea as of right now. When I stood completely up-right I peeked over at where Tommy was laying; he appeared to be sleeping? Relaxing? Faint? I don't know, But I needed to stop stalling myself. I walked slowly, but quickly picked up the pace in seconds. As I was about half way over to Tommy, I trip and get my foot caught on a think stick. I screamed and cursed in my head and quickly shot my head behind me to see if I caught the mens' attention at all. I did. Of course. Two men seemed to jump and quickly keep on gaurd as they slowly turned to face me in dead-view.

"Shit..." I whispered to myself. But I wasn't going to give up, I quickly slid across the wet concrete of the ally to Tommy. The men jogged to where I was, still guns in hand. I started to panic as they got closer and closer; I sped up, eventually I started to crawl to him.

"Aye! What are you doing? STOP!" The chubby one yelled, as he yanked his gun from inside his pants. I shot a look up at him and said nothing, my heart raced.

"You're in quite a little pickle aren't you?" The buff one said, calmly. I swallowed and switched my view to him. They were quite close to me now, there was no way I would be able to make any type of sudden move without them noticing. The chubby one leaned down to get closer to my face, he lifted his gun and smiled.

"How long have you been here?" He said, slowly. I looked away and took deep breaths.

"Did you hear him?" The buff one yelled. I nodded.

"Look, man. You aren't going to get out alive either way, you know too much already. So, telling me anything won't be a problem for either of you." The chubby one finished talking, then shot a look over at Tommy. I slowly shifted my head to peak a look at Tommy, he was awake, alert. He moved slightly and then flopped back into place again, I sighed. The chubby one slowly lifted his gun to the side of my head, near my temple. I look him dead in the eyes and cried, the tears just fell nonstop. He laughed.

"I don't know anything." I choked out, "Please just let us both go!"

"You plead good, it would have worked if this was my first time." The two men laughed as I continued to cry. There was NOTHING I could do now, I thought and nothing.

"Okay, please... Tommy doesn't deserve this, just let HIM go..." I pleaded. The men looked at each other and nodded in agreement to something, I watched them carefully. The chubby one tightened his grip on the gun against my head.

"You're willing to give your life for THAT?" He asked.

"Any day..." I muttered, the man heard with no problem though. Tommy shited and both the chubby man and I shot a look at him. Tommy muttered, "No! Adam..." He slowly lifted himself from his corner and stood up-right on his knees. His face was covered in dirt, bruises, and water. he was drenched from the shoulders up from laying in a puddle. I examined him more, in shock. He looked completely, and utterly terrible; he looked dead.

"Tommy, please..." I told him. Tommy looked at me and then quickly darted over to the men and I. He flopped onto my chest, sending me to fall backwards and hit the ground, it hurt but I quickly lifted and shot a look at the men. The chubbly one lost balence and fell backward as the buff one was struggling to find his gun, I paniked and yelled, "OH...NO!" The bulky one was just seconds away from pulling the trigger, pointed at Tommy as I quickly shut my eyes and hovered over Tommy as fast as I could.

"Adam!" Tommy screamed.

about 3 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Continued chapter 34

That scream; The scream I had heard last, before... before ... Be...fore? What, wait? Before... something. I remember the scream, the ear-piercing scream I had heard before... ? What's going on? It's dark, really dark, but loud. Oh my gosh, what is all this noise? I gently started to open my eyes, It felt as if someone glued them shut, but now they were ripping them open as slowly as possible so I would feel the entire pain of it all. My eyes started to water, but as they were fully open and I was just slightly alert, I examined ... everything. Well, it was dark, still. I see flashing lights of many different sorts of colors... Blue, Red, White, what's that color? Yellow? Yea. The lights blinded me, I tried to look away as fast as I could, But it was difficult; My body ached in so many places. I groaned in pain. Why is this happening? I slowly turned my head to avoid the flashing lights. As my head was completely turned and facing the opposite direction of the lights and noise, I took a deep breath. Suddenly, I was jerked a bit forward and shooting pain in multiple parts of my body was sent everywhere.

"Oh!" I choked out. I gently looked up and saw a dude. He was dirty, I hope he isn't gonna touch me, I don't want to get ... dirty. Why is he starring at me? Is there something on my face? I could believe that, I'm laying in a nasty puddle, gah. How did I even get here?

"Adam? Oh my god! Someone help us please! He's been shot! HELP!" The dude yelled and screamed at the top of his lungs. Where are my glasses? I can't see this kid, he's blurry... Do I even have glasses? If I do, I hope their blue. Then, the dude crouched down to my level and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Adam, can you hear me? Are you okay? Oh my god, what the fuck am I asking? Of course your not! Do you feel anything? Are you numb? CAN YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?" His voice rose as he continued talking, I started at him as if he had four eyes, "I need to get you out of here, now." He quickly patted his pockets and silently cursed to himself.

"Oh, what am I going to do? HELP! PLEASE! SOMEONE , ANYONE !" He yelled and screamed nonstop, quite frankly it hurt my damn ears, SHUT UP! He's acting as if someone just got shot, gosh. My arms started to shake as I was putting pressure on my left arm to keep my body up-right. As it shook, I gave in and flopped onto the concrete, the ally spun in circles... around and around and ... around. Oh, it's getting lighter outside, it's ... there's no more... flashing... lights? It's getting really... quiet.

about 2 months ago · Delete Post

Adam Lambert 3

Chapter 35

"Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep" The repetative sound of the computer monitor resting beside me. I took a couple deep breathes. Woah, doesn't hurt as much as it did before... There's that word again, before. I don't understand why "before" is a problem for me. I can't... remember before I woke up in the ally. Is that a problem?

The door to my room shot open and closed gently, I slowly opened my eyes and examined the short, slim, middle aged woman approch me.

"Adam Lambert..." The lady's voice soothed me, she spoke as if nothing was wrong. Her smile made me want to smile back at her as if nothing was wrong as well, but I held it back. The lady's eyes bursted crystal blue as her dark brown hair complimented them also. I could feel my eyes gently start to close, but as they did, the lady noticed and cracked a quick smile.

"I'll tell them to lay off your medicine, babe. Sweetie, you're gonna have to fight to stay awake for me, it's quite inportant." The lady set her hand on my fore-arm to reassure she was here strictly to help me, I nodded. The lady walked out, but left the door cracked open, i tried to make out what she was going to do, but I couldn't focus too much ... It hurt... As the lady took her time, I started to wonder what the hell I was doing? I looked at myself, what is all of THIS? Clear wires spreading throughout my body, bandages; heavy bandadges on my... arm? I took a second to examine my ENTIRE arm, right to be exact. Now, what the HELL is this? Oh my god, what's going on? I don't even know, I don't even... What am I talking about? I laid in the bed for a couple more minutes taking deep breathes and thinking, thinking hard. Thinking about... About... What AM I thinking about anyway? There is NOTHING to think about, I don't know what the hell is going on, or... what that did go on.

Soon after my rage was over in my head, the lady walked back in. I watched her every move, she walked as she closely examined her clipboard. He tipped her glasses just a bit and leaned in closer to the clipboard, my eyebrows desended in confusion.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, in the most raspiest voice I had ever heard in my entire life. I jumped to the sound of my voice, but as i did I clapped my hands to my throat and widened my eyes. The nurse turned around and looked me dead in the eyes, no expression.

"Oh, I need to talk to you now, don't I?" She said, in a hushed tone. I nodded, confused.

"Is it bad?" My voice rose, sounding almost as I just hit puberty.

"Sweetie, Adam... Do you remember anything? What's your last name?" She leaned in closer to my face as I thought to myself. Hmm, my last name? Do I even have one? I mean, I'd think I would know it by now.

"Smith...?" I guessed, I honestly had no clue.

"What's the last thing you remember?" She asked as her voice rose just a tad.

"I remember waking up in here and seeing all these wires, but I don't know why..." I told her.

"Listen, Adam. You were in a terrible inncident. From what I was told, you were wondering an ally looking for your bass player, Tommy. Apperently he had wondered off without telling anyone where he was going and you got worried. You wondered as deep as the ally went and hit a corner where Tommy was lying. Tommy had told me you hid there for quite a while untill the two men walked away, then you made a run for it, to save Tommy I'm guessing. Tommy was completely alert at the time, but badly buised. Apperently, the men caught sight of you and held you hostage. They gave you a choice, you die or Tommy. You chose Tommy, you thought he'd deserve to live more then you. Then, I guess Tommy arose from his corner and with all his strenth, with the strenth he had left, jumped onto you, sending you to fly backwards and make one of the men lose his balence and fall wackwards too. The other guy took his gun out and pointed the gun at Tommy, but you hurried with everything you had to hover over Tommy. In that effect the bullet was sent to hit your upper arm." The lady spoke, she spoke as if she knew exactly what happened, as if she was RIGHT there when it happened. She mentioned my upper arm, I turned my head slowly to take a quick glance at my arm, it throbbed. Oh gosh, that hurts.

"Baby, don't touch it. It's still sensitive." I quickly shot a look at her, in confusion.

"You mean, all of that happened and I don't remember a single one of it?" My raspy voice rose once again.

"I'm so sorry, but the doctors and I read over what had happened and everything that was scanned was looked over multiple times untill we finally found a reason on why you don't remember anything." She stopped to take a deep breath and then started once again, "Tommy has leaped onto you sending you to fly backwards on the wet concrete, cemented floor. As your head hit the cement we assume you started to act a little funny. Think about it babe, you don't know your own LAST NAME. I mean, do you even know who Tommy Ratliff is?"

"My... Bass player! You just told me..." My voice rose in anger, what the hell... what did I ever do to deserve this? Is this karma?

"Well, you're bass player and the rest of your band is waiting outside the room to visit you." The lady cracked me another fake smile and made her way out of the room, taking her clipboard with her. I laughed a sarcastic laugh, that lady was some bitch. It's always the NICE ONES! I wanted to pout like a 3 year old, But I won't. I'm what? 20? 23? 20... WHAT THE FUCK? I can't even remember how old I am? THIS SUCKS! Suddenly, I felt it, I felt that one, but meaningful tear run down my left eye. I waited as it made it's way down my face ... I waited ...

Then, The door slowly creeked open and 3 men and 1 woman walked in. I guess that was my band? What band? Can I sing or something? Do I play a damn instrument? At this point, I was done. I'm done. I'm so retarded, I don't even know my name.

"Adam...? It's Monte." Monte spoke with a hushed tone, I looked up at him, with no expression what-so-ever.

"Hey, It's Tommy, bud. Please be okay... You did something so amazing for me, I don't know how to ever repay you, I was such a jerk... How can I ever make THIS up to you?" Tommy started to cry, he went at it, he just lost himself. I stood there and watched him ball out. I said nothing. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I don't even fully know what I did.

"Hey honey, it's Cam. You're okay, I love you so much, you're a real fighter." Cam said, as her light British tone sang through to my ears. I gave her a slight smile and watched as the only other man that stood a couple feet away from the others as he just examined what went on.

"And you are?" I rose my voice a bit to get the man's attention. He looked up, but took a second to respond. He stepped closer as I saw that his eyes were flushed red, he's been crying.

"Isaac, you're drummer. Look at you, man. You're... just... I can't do this..." Isaac quickly sped out of the room, cupping his hands to his face. I slowly lifted my arm to ask him to wait, but it was too late, he'd already gotten to the hallway. I sighed. I turned my head and noticed that Tommy was examining me as well as everyone else in the room, then he spoke.

"Please forgive everything I have ever done. I'm so sorry, Adam. I love you with all my heart and I'll never think otherwise, you're everything that I want, I want you forever..." He sniffled a couple times and wiped his tears, "You were shot, I thought I lost you, but knowing you were willing to give your life to save mine, is the BEST thing anyone has ever done for me. You loved and cared for me even when I didn't want you too, you never gave up, man... I love you so fucking much it hurts. I want to be with you forever, I promise." Tommy wiped his face of tears once again as mine started to fall. I could feel my face flushing pink as he spoke, but once again, I had no idea how to answer him.

"This is too much..." I finally said, raspy voice in all.

"Adam Lambert..." Monte said slowly, I looked up at him quickly, Lambert... That's my last name!

"Born in Idianappolis, Indianna, but raised in San Diego California. Always had a love for dressing up, make-up and theatrical idea's. Started to fall in love with his gift of singing at the age of 10. Young Adam took on so many courses and challenges to get to where he is now. He made it through season 8 of American Idol as Runner-up next to Kris Allen, but fought his way to now stands as the an openly gay, theatrical singer who isn't afraid to act himself, nor give in to peer pressure. He's a role model and inspiration to teens and adult all over the world. But I know one thing, they'll always love him, disabled or not. He's the one and only person I know that can fight his way out of anything thrown at him, and right there everyone..." Monte's tears started to fall, "Is my hero."