Final Goodbye

Summary: Buffy comes to see Angel and tells him how much she loves him but not in the way he expects! One shot….i think…but idk u tell me if you want me to continue kay? i know the setting is techinally Angel but i felt like it was dedicated to her so that's why it's under here.

First Buffy/Angel fan fic...i used to love this show...before Spuffy happened lol! Please Review! pennies for your thoughts!

Disclaimer: i do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer of angel cuz if i did...Spuffy would of never happened...and Angel would of got his ish together...

Well it's a winding road
When your in the lost and found
You're a lover I'm a runner
We go 'round 'n 'round
And I love you but I leave you
I don't want you but I need you
You know it's you who calls me back here

The battle was gruesome, but the team fought well and managed to come out alive from the other dimension rescuing both Fred and Cordelia. The Angel Investigations team was still super pumped and their enthusiasm was to the sky as they walked backed to the hotel. The atmosphere was light and carefree which greatly contrasted with the massive weapons in their hands. All was right in the world as the doors opened. There was nothing better than home sweet home as far as they were concerned. Now they could just relax or go out and celebrate; the possibilities were endless. But as always, fate could be so cruel sometimes.

Though it seems they were not alone as they believed to be as a petite blond stood in the center of the lobby with her back turned to them.

"Buffy", Angel sighs as he stood frozen in place. He didn't think tonight could get any better. He wasn't sure why she was here but he couldn't imagine anything better as she turned around and hazel green eyes met his warm chocolate eyes. As always, her smiled always managed to beat his unbeating heart.

"Angel", she says breathlessly.

The atmosphere suddenly grew tense. The two star cross lovers were lost as usual in their own world, while everyone except for Cordelia was in a state of bewilderment. Angel ran towards Buffy dropping his weapon careless to the floor and hugged her. They never saw their boss this carefree and happy. They all wondered who this mystery girl was.

"I can't believe your really here", Angel whispered into her ear holding her for dear life. He couldn't place it but something was off.

Fred was a little sad because her knight in shining amour was already someone else's prince charming. Who was she to compare to the love that these too have.

Cordelia was just fed up and decided to voice her opinion, "Buffy- Buffy's here in L.A, what are you doing here".

Buffy pulled away from Angel and looked down as if she was guilty of something before she pulled at her resolved and looked Cordelia dead in the eye and announced that she was her to see Angel and it was really important.

"Wow, well no mean to be rude but I wanna introduce myself. My name is Charles Gunn but everyone calls me Gunn", the tall black man announced. "And this is Fred, and Wendell, and the small dude over here is Wesley", he continued.

"Nice to meet you all, and it's nice seeing you again Wesley. I don't mean to be rude, I'm not usually like this but time is of the essence", she said smiling at them.

"You too Buffy", her ex watcher said. "Now what is it can we help you with, is everything all right", he asked.

"Ah, yea I was hoping to speak to the big man here", she said as she blush crimson turning back towards Angel. "Alone", she added pleading at him to understand that time was of the essences and she would have not come unless it was life or death.

Angel seeming to get her point still raised his eyebrow in response before he told his staff that he'll be back soon, this causing Cordelia to scoff as he led Buffy to his room. It was dark and masculine; just like him, Buffy mused. Angel led her to the two chairs by his desk and sat down expectedly.

There was an awkward silence and Buffy realized that he was waiting for her to speak. She took a deep breath and started pacing the room.

"How are you Angel", she starts out lamely. "It's been a while''; she smiled finally turning to him with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Angel sat uneasy in his chair for many reasons. One was because he really didn't want to tell her about his downfall into the darkness Darla fiasco and two her mannerisms were really starting to worry him. "I think I'm good Buffy, I'm finally getting back on track", he replies truthfully hoping she doesn't pry.

She seems to weigh his words before responding understatedly, "that's the important part right. No matter the fear or the temptation of the darkness surrounding us we don't submit and if we fail we try our damnest to overcome it and prevail".

"You sound like you speak from experience", he says with a fright frown. He never wanted her to feel like that, it was part of the reasons why he left; so she could have a live outside of the darkness. Her only reply was a bitter laugh which caused his frown to darken. "Buffy, mo grà you're starting to scare me, tell me what's troubling you", he pleads standing up and grabbing her hand in hopes to calm her. The moment their hands touch they both felt that electric shock penetrating through them and they immediately let go.

"Nothing is wrong, god this wasn't my intentions I'm wasting time. I'm so sorry Angel. I don't know way I always do this, I'm not a little kid anymore but every time I'm by you I feel like I'm sixteen and it hurts. Angel it really does and I miss you and I know we really didn't well … I just want to see you happy, so I'm a just stop rambling now", she says finding her shoes a little too interesting.

"'look Buff", he started to say but was cut off once again by her rambles.

"I know what you're going to say and that we agreed to not see each other face to face but with everything with Glory and Dawn I had to act so strong when really I was petrified. Everyone needed the Slayer; I really couldn't be just Buffy. Looking back on my life just Buffy was always good enough for you and I just wanted to tell you how much that meant to me", she cried relishing in the fact that she didn't need to be anyone but herself.

Not noticing her use of past tense he took her into his arms whispering sweet nothings in her ear in Gaelic.

"I'll never forget", she cries brokenly into his chest.

He freezes and remembers another time when she cried in his arms promising just that. Trying to keep his thoughts away from the happiest day in 247 years on earth he asks, "how is everything in Sunnydale now, do you need any help Buffy because you know I'm always there when you need me".

"No, no ", she cries brokenly holding on to him for dear life. "Everything fine now my love, Sunnydale lives to see another day; their all okay I defeated glory. That crazy bitch is gone", she joked.

"You defeated a god", he states in awe. He knew she was different from the others. How many slayers could say that, he muses as he buried his face in the crook of her neck; eyes briefly falling on his mark while he inhaled her scent. Only his, he answers his own thoughts; only his Buffy.

She just shakes her head and continued crying.

"Tell me what I can do to make it better", he pleads intent on stopping the tears from falling.

She lifted her head up and stares straight into his eyes and breathlessly says the same words she told him on her 17th birthday,"Just kiss me".

He willingly obliges. First he kisses the tears away and kissed her eyelids before finally going to her lips. The kiss started off slow as if neither was for sure it was real and it gradually became a battle for dominance. It's been too long since their lips last met and they were trying to relearn every corner of the others mouth. Their souls were joining as one once more and everything in the world felt right. He idly wondered when she was going to pull away to breath but he didn't want to end it. Her kisses were as close to heaven as he was ever going to get and he wanted to savor every minute of it. She jumped up wrapping her legs around his waist and deepened the kiss. The couple was lost in the moment caught up in the world where nothing else existed but them.

Somewhere deep within him he knew this was goodbye, but he couldn't bear the thought of her leaving him. Buffy suddenly moaned into the kiss breaking the spell that had enchanted the lovers. He suddenly realized what position they were in and what they were about to do. He starts to pull away but he is locked in a slayers grip. "We have to stop", he groaned trying not to think of his intense arousal and the smell of hers as he attempted to clear his thoughts. He just held her for a few minutes, taking unneeded breaths while she made no attempts to move what so ever.

She slowly started kissing down his jaw line until she reached his neck and started to suck and nibble on it. "We need this Angel, I need to feel you, all of you", she says seductively against his flesh, her warmth already starting to heat his cool body. For extra affect she started grinding against him.

He groaned again trying to detangle himself from her. "Please my love, don't ask that of me. I wish I could but I can't- we can't", he cried in frustration placing his face back into the crook her neck as she grinds against him again causing him to shake with lust. He growled as a response.

"You won't", she says licking his ear. "I promise nothing will happen. Just make love to me. I don't have much time', she whispers truthfully and wondered if she should have kept that little bit of information to herself as she felt his erection die down and felt how he visibly stiffened.

Bringing his head back to look into her eyes she flinches at the raw emotions staring back at her. "I didn't mean it like that", she cooed and he relaxes slightly.

"'Buffy get off of me", he said through gritted teeth. "I won't let you get hurt again because of me. Angelus".

"I love him, as much as I love you because he's a part of you. Furthermore I know that he can no longer hurt me Leanbh", she says tenderly as he carried her towards the bed. If it was subconsciously or intentional she didn't know and wasn't about to ask the man that was trying so hard not to let the inevitable happen. She did the only thing she could think of and kissed him with all the passion she could muster letting her hands make quick work with his shirt. He looked at her funny at the Gaelic endearment and she just giggled rolling her eyes, "I've been learning and now I wanna put my new material to good use"'.

His eyes immediately darkens but still he protest as he once again crashed his lips to hers, slipping his hand under her shirt dying to feel her warm flesh against his.

"if it will make you feel better, I have willow already awaiting the call with the spell at ready", she explains ripping her own shirt in frustration leaving him to stare at her white lacy bra before he move down to start planting kisses on her chest.

"I'm so sorry I haven't told you lately that I love you", he says looking up to met her hooded hazel eyes.

"It's okay I love you too", she say softly, "no matter the time, no matter the distance, always only you my lovely Angel. I will always be in your heart but right now I just need you to show me how much".

Wordlessly he complied. He deserved to be selfish for once consequences be damned. The couple gave into the passion that seemed to burn them alive. They relished each other bodies. Exploring and familiarizing with one another again doing a dance as old as time. Hours later they laid exhausted just getting done with the 10th round Buffy turned to Angel relieved that he was still him, but knew that time was growing wry for the both of them. "Promise me something", she asked quietly not wanting to completely ruin the moment.

"Anything".

"Promise that no matter what happens to me you keep on living fighting the good fight", she asked.

He looked pained, "I can't promise you something I don't intend to keep. The day you stop living is the day I meet the sun".

"No, please if you love me and want me to be happy promise me", she begged. Time was running out. She was getting frantic.

"I can't say it'll be easy, but for you I'll do anything. I promise even though that is a fate worse than hell", he states memorizing her every curve as his hands started to roam again.

"'My love Willow is here", she says quietly.

He looks puzzled and wonders out of all the things she could say he wasn't expecting that. "She can start the spell without us"', he says. As soon as he says it he feels a sharp pain in his chest. "Buffy you got to get away from me now", he growls but she remains calm and completely still as tears rundown her face. He jumps out of bed only to collapse in agony onto his knees. He knew that Angelus was only minutes away.

"Angel it's not your soul that you're losing", she whispers brokenly, "know that no matter what I love you".

He stares at her confused until he lets out a scream of agony.

Buffy nude form jumped into her lover's arms holding onto him like a life line. "I didn't want to leave you, I still don't" she says gently kissing him just as softly. Not even moments later there was a banging on the door and shouting for him to come out because there was something important to be heard. He tries to fight off Angelus for as long as possible as he reaches for his pants. Every fiber in his being felt like the dead weight that he was, but he suppressed it doing the same with his shirt.

He wonders why she's just sitting on the floor making no attempts to follow. "Where you're going I can't follow Angel, but you have to go now", she says as she goes to him and holds him ushering him to the door.

He turns to leave but suddenly a thought strikes him. "You still my girl", he asked with that half grin she loves so much.

Just like all those years ago she smiles at him and replies "Always".

The only difference was that he was now the one getting left behind.

He turned the corner to the lobby with dreaded steps. He just made love to the love of his live, yet he was feeling like shit. He knew Angelus was going to show his ugly head any minute but he tried to prolong it but every minute he did felt like he was back in hell. He finally made it to the lobby and tiredly let his eyes fall on the red head that was standing in the middle of the room. He knew it was Willow by her scent. The tension was so high in the room that he could probably cut it with a knife. He looked at the faces of his comrades and they all held a mixture of pity and remorse; almost as if they knew he was seconds away from losing his soul. Willow finally turned to face him and he suddenly wished she hadn't. Her eyes said it all. It was nothing but defeat, sorrow, pain, and pity in them. She didn't need to speak the words because he didn't need them. It explained it all. The pain he was feeling earlier was not because of the arrival of Angelus but more like his soul mate being ripped away from him.

"I'm so sorry Angel, we couldn't save her", she says quietly as if even she can't believe it either.

He's in constant denial. She couldn't be; there was no way. The woman he loved was upstairs in his room awaiting his return. But even he knew better now that he thought about it. All the settled hints she would drop. The urgency of everything they did, the way their souls pulled at one another, the fact that she didn't need air to breathe in their first kiss, or the major joy killer. The fact that know that he thought about it, she didn't have a heartbeat. Angel it's not your soul that you're losing, she said. If that wasn't a presage of what was to come he didn't know what was. True it wasn't his soul but it might as well been. He was only half of what he was without her.

He cursed his own stupidly. He wished Angelus would be unleash and avenge the death of his mate by massacring millions. Damn the world, without her in it there was no longer a reason. No she can't be I- love her, he wanted to declare as if it would make a difference but he couldn't find his voice. He gave up humanity to beg for her life only to lose her anyway. It wasn't fair and what hurt the most was that he wasn't there. Maybe he could have saved her. Maybe…

"It wouldn't have made a difference Angel; Buffy is Dead", she cries brokenly.

His feet gave way as he once again collapsed to the floor. Cruel tricks that all it was but it felt so real, he closed his eyes thinking back to it. It was the final goodbye even though the words were never spoken.

"Remember Angel I'll always be your girl", she whispered gently into his ear before she ceases to exist.

"I know", was his hoarse reply.

Oh I wanna see you again
But I'm stuck in colder weather
Maybe tomorrow will be better
Can I call you then
Cause I'm a ramblin' man
I ain't ever gonna change
I gotta gypsy soul to blame
And I was born for leavin' (born for leavin')

And when I close my eyes I see you
No matter where I am
I can smell your perfume through these whispering pines
I'm with your ghost again
It's a shame about the weather
I know soon we'll be together
And I can't wait till then
I can't wait till then

Cold Weather by Zac Brown Band

What ya think? Please Review!