So I totally know I should not be writing this story, but Jesus, the idea has been in my head for two days now and it won't leave me the hell alone. Like, I tried everything, but it's still there.

The only thing though is that I've been pretty sick for the last few days and I've had nothing to do so this idea was like, just waiting to get me.

Anyway, just a little bases for the story, I kind of got the idea from a furry comic, about some friends who do suicide jobs. It was really good and I haven't read it in a while though I don't know much about it beside the main idea. Hiring for suicide. But my first chapter stems off of their beginning.

And I guess it's sort of AU, since the characters are the only thing I'm using for this story and whatever.

So yeah, Disclaimer: Don't own shit.

Warning: Cursing and killing ensue. You've been warned, so don't shoot me down in the review section. But if you have, make sure to leave a review about it... Just saying. :P

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Chapter 1: Poison for Your Dignity?

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Andre sat in front of the television, watching as the reporter ranted on about some drastic change in the weather over in Texas. He guessed it didn't really matter, and it really wasn't as big of an issue as she seemed to be making it. The only reason he watched is because she was actually pretty hot.

"Popcorn's ready," Beck said, plopping down on the couch next to his friend, popcorn bowl in one hand and a beer in the other. "Are we seriously watching this?"

Andre shrugged, taking a drag of his cigarette. "What can I say? The chick is hot."

Beck sighed and popped the cap off his beer. "Seriously dude, where did we go wrong? I mean, it's a Friday night and here we are, sitting in my apartment, watching pointless reruns of the news."

"Listen, I'm totally cool with it," Andre said, picking up the remote. "College's been a real run-down lately."

"Yeah, but there has to be something we can do," Beck went on. "Like crash a party, hook-up with some women, or something."

"What'd be the point, man?" Andre asked, putting out his cigarette. "I mean, I don't drink, and people get on your nerves. And besides, I thought you were dating that Mindy chick."

He took a swig of his beer and shrugged. "I don't know. She's been volunteering a lot at that children's school again."

Andre's eyes went from the TV to his friend. "Okay, you sound like you either have something on your mind or you're in desperate need of sex."

"Probably, but," he paused for a second, thinking of what to say. "I have been thinking. Is this all we can do with ourselves? Are dateless Friday nights in front of the tube the best we'll ever do in our all-to-short respective youths?"

"Well, what do you want to do with our youth?"

"I think we should tread an unworn path. Something… something few people before us even dared to. Something exciting that'll make generations after us say, 'Now them motherfuckers did some shit.'"

Andre nodded, thinking about it for a second, wondering if beck was serious. "We could become daredevil's, or start a metal band. Did you have anything in mind?"

"We could kill people," he suggested.

Andre stared at his best friend in shock for a second, and then he started to laugh. "You had me going there for a second."

Beck's eyes were dark and didn't waver. Andre stopped laughing. "You cannot be serious."

"Well, it would definitely be exciting, and different."

"We can't just kill people! You've seriously lost your mind if you think we're going to do that!"

Beck shrugged and turned back to the TV. "It was just a suggestion."

Andre looked back at the TV, his mind wandering over the words his friend had said. Murder people..? No, they couldn't do that. They'd get caught and go to jail and he definitely did not want to go to jail. They'd just have to think of something else to do because killing people was not a viable option.

S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E

Monday Afternoon, Andre sat at his desk in his Bio Anatomy class. His mind was trying to focus on his test but he found it impossible. One, because it was the midterm, and passing was everything, but mostly because of the two really annoying girls sitting behind him, who wouldn't shut up.

"Wow," the redhead said, her green eyes wide and focused on her friend. "What did your parents say?"

The blond behind Andre let out an exasperated sigh. "I haven't told them, yet. I haven't even been home since I was picked up. I guess I'll just tell them I ran off with Shaun for the weekend. Give them another reason to hate him," she said. "But it's better than telling them the truth."

The redhead gasped. "How could you do that to your boyfriend?"

Andre tried his best to drown them out, but there insistent chattering kept him from focusing. Why couldn't they just shut up?

"Cause it beats, 'Hi, mom, hi dad. Where've I been? Just the county jail. Oh, nothing, just possession of crack."

The blond sighed. "I like him, but not to the degree of what I'm scared my parents would do if they found out. I mean, it's so unfair! It's my first offense and it wasn't even that much crack! I just don't want to hafta deal with this shit."

"And my job! They won't keep me working with kids when they see this on my record! I mean, I've planned for it my entire life! I can't go and change my college courses to fit my criminal record for a crackhead. I just want to kill myself…"

And for the next fifteen minutes, Andre sat and listened while she went on and on about her record, wanting to kill herself, and not wanting to tell her parents and her insistent whining while he tried to focus on his paper, but going into the next minute, he seriously lost his patience.

"So that's why I'm going to tell them I was with Shaun…"

"Will you shut up!" Andre yelled, turning around to face her. "Gawd-Dammit, don't you see anyone else trying to work here? And not only am I subjected to the whining of some self-pitying crackhead, oh no, I have to sit here and listen to you want to put the blame on someone else who's probably the only person who cares about you!"

"But…"

"Listen," he went on, "If you're going to dodge responsibility, have some fucking decency about it! Don't bring innocent people down with you! Just kill yourself already! Better yet, give me ten bucks and I'll even help you go through with it so you don't puss out! Then, your boyfriend can find a girlfriend who actually cares about him and the rest of us can get through this class without having to listen to you!"

A lot of the students in the class murmured in agreement and he even heard some clap. "Where's your sympathy?" She finally said.

He shrugged ant turned back to his paper. "Probably the same place where your dignity is."

S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E

At the end of the day, Andre met up with Beck on the outside of campus. "Dude, you will not believe what just happened to me!"

Beck blinked. "What?"

Andre explained what happened in his classroom, form the girl's insistent talking to him yelling at her. "Okay, so you snapped at her, what's the big deal?" Beck asked, heading down the sidewalk toward his place.

"It's not that. It's what happened later. After class, the chick met up with me and she handed me a fifty and told me she'd meet at her place tonight to go on with the plan. You know, help her commit suicide."

"Damn," Beck mumbled. "I say we spend the money."

'This is serious!" He snapped. "I didn't know she'd actually take my joke seriously. I wasn't going to actually go through with it! Now I don't know what to do!"

"If you want to avoid the situation, we could just spend the money on beer and movies and spend the next week at your place," Beck suggested.

"But the thing is," Andre went on. "I feel sort of… compelled to do it. I mean, I don't want to kill somebody, but she asked me and paid me for it and it's like this other force in me that's telling me to go ahead and do it."

"I think we should," Beck said causally.

"What do you mean, 'we'?"

"We, as in you and me, should help her out," he said. "Think about it. We're like the ProActive of life, getting rid of the blemishes of society. Who's going to care if we pop a couple of unwanted zits on the way?"

"Liberals…" Andre mumbled in protest. But he had to admit, his friend's outlook on life made a point, no matter how strange and absolutley stupid it was. "And stop talking in metaphors. It's weird."

"And it's not killing," Beck went on, ignoring Andre's comment. "They're paying us to plan their suicide for them, and then they kill themselves. We're mostly there to make sure they do it."

"I don't know, man! I mean, everything in my body is telling me to take the money and run, but then there's something telling me I need to see this through. That, and if she paid me, that she really wants to die."

"Like I said, if you want to do it let's. But if not, let's stop at a liquor store and one of those erotic D.V.D. store's…"

"We're not even old enough!" Andre protested.

"It's not like they check I.D.'s any more, man…"

"I said no!"

S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E

Later that night, Andre stood on a stone white patio in front of a very expensive looking house, Beck at his side, ringing the doorbell. The blond from earlier opened the door, and ushered them inside. She was wearing an old fashioned dress.

"You're finally here!" She glanced at Beck, who had items in his hand. "Who's he?"

"This is my friend, Beck Oliver," Andre introduced him. "This was all his idea anyway, and I didn't want him to miss out on something that would probably only happen once in a lifetime," he said, glancing at Beck.

"Is there a reason why you called and asked me to wear this silly dress?" She asked.

"It's all part of our meticulous plan," Beck answered quickly. "You want to die, and we want to make sure it's special." He pulled out a souvenir cup from the table in the living room and poured some of the wine he brought in it. "Andre, light the candles."

Andre sighed, thinking this was stupid, but complied anyway and started to light the lavender scented candles he and Beck had picked up.

"Is all this shit really neccessary?" She asked.

Beck nodded. "Think of it as leaving the earth divinely, surrounded with beauty of the outside to hide the ugly on the inside."

She narrowed her eyes. "You think my reason for dying is pretty stupid, don't you?"

He shrugged and looked around the room. "I think any reason for suicide is pretty stupid."

"Listen," Beck said, turning back toward the blond. "Since I'm included and we had to buy this stuff, we're going to need to double the costs, if you don't mind."

The blond shrugged. "Fine, hell, I'll triple it. It's not like I'm going to need it."

Andre's mouth dropped open in the middle of lighting another candle, while Beck nodded. "That's works out great!"

Andre sighed and finished lighting the candles and set them up across the room. "I think I'm done," he told Beck.

His friend nodded and looked at the blond, who seemed a little nervous. "Don't worry, now your death will be remembered and whatever." He handed her the silver cup. "Any last words?"

She shook her head, tears in her eyes, and brought the poisoned wine to her lips. A second later, she choked, then collapsed to the floor. It was obviously some fast acting stuff.

Andre gulped. "I cannot believe we just did this." He looked around, suddenly feeling really nervous and needing a cigarette. "C'mon man, let's get out of here before her parents get home."

"Oh, Fuck!" Beck shouted in dismay.

Oh, Crap, Andre thought. Did something go wrong? Were they busted already? He did not want to go to jail. He'd heard rumors of people becoming prison bitches, and the thought terrified him. He gulped, daring a glance at his friend. "What?"

"Dude, we forgot our pay raise!"

Giggles and Hahas, so what did you think? Did you like it? Hate it? Love it?

This is really different from what I usually write, but it was definitely fun doing it. The others will come up in the story soon, but this was just one of those, "let's see if I can pull this shit off without looking totally ridiculous" kind of chapters.

The rest of the story gets a little more dramatic, and I have to put humor in it cause I don't want for it to seem all dark and sad. But the rating might change, don't know yet…

But tell me if you want to read more, cause it does get good. If not, well, it was worth a shot! Peace!