A/N: I don't own the Harry Potter series. Please don't give me "That's not how it happened in the book" reviews, because this is a different story than Order of The Phoenix. Also, remember this-if you don't like it, don't review.
Title: The Errors of Ravenclaw
Summary: Whispers are floating down the corridor, disembodied voices are singing songs in the dormitories. Only a few words are distinguishable, and one of them is Ravenclaw. Rated T for violence and language.
Time Period: Harry's fifth year.
Chapter One-The Arrival of Dolores Umbridge
"Albus, do you really think this is a good idea? Couldn't we have simply given the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts to-dare I say it?-Severus? We would have had a much easier time choosing a Potions master than-"
"Minerva."
Albus Dumbledore had the most polite of ways of interrupting someone. He would cut them off with his soothing voice, gentle tones. But his interruptions were always firm, and always with reason.
"Minerva," he repeated once more, his bright blue eyes twinkling just the slightest bit as he looked at her, fond of her stubborn attitude on the matter. She hadn't changed in all her years at Hogwarts. "I do have my reasons for not appointing the position to someone who was more-er, open to taking up the position."
"You'd really rather have a Ministry official, Fudge's pet, spying on our castle than to give up the position of Snape?"
"As I said," Dumbledore said calmly, "I do have my reasons. You shan't, however, think I am at all pleased about Dolores taking up the position here at the castle. She'll be arriving this evening, and I've asked you to meet her down at the station."
There was a particular firmness in his voice that withheld any protest from the graying witch before him. It said that he also had his reasons for assigning her to pick the woman up.
"Why on Earth is she arriving two weeks later than the rest of us professors?" Minerva asked indignantly, her lips tight.
Albus shook his head softly as he rose out of his chair to pace. The office was circular, filled with spinning, whirling, silver instruments and dozens of portraits. He did not answer immediately, instead walked the perimeter of the office, his long, silvery hair falling slightly forward as his head inclined slightly forward.
"You see, there was quite some trouble assigning the position, as I'm sure you already know," he said finally, halting in front of a portrait of a plump, snoring witch, who slowly opened one eye. Upon seeing the graying woman facing directly towards the frame of the portrait, the witch in it quickly shut her eye and continued her presumably fake snores. "I attempted to interview many. Kasey Wartworth, if you remember her-left Hogwarts ten or so years ago, of the Hufflepuff house-almost accepted the position. Alas, that was before I confessed to her it was not Charms that she would be teaching, but instead Defense Against the Dark Arts. I haven't heard from her since."
He paused, his eyes twinkling at the memory. Minerva, however, appeared unamused. She fidgeted impatiently before Dumbledore continued, pacing once more.
"This was already later than the rest of you had accepted your respective jobs once more. There was no one left-everyone I asked had either blatantly refused, rudely strode away from me, or made some excuse to leave and never contacted me after that. So I had to resort to sending an advertisement of the position into the Daily Prophet."
"Albus, are you mad?" asked Minerva, aghast. "Why would you send anything into the Daily Prophet after Fudge's disgusting temper tantrum? After he printed all those outright lies about you?"
Dumbledore turned and looked at her sharply, making her recoil slightly. "It was the only thing left, I'm afraid. Though, I think you have been keeping up with the Daily Prophet?"
Minerva nodded, knowing she hadn't seen any ads for an opening at Hogwarts.
"So I feel assured you know that my advertisement remained unprinted. Instead, Dolores Umbridge contacted me personally, saying she was interested in the position. This was just two days before the rest of you professors had arrived, and I was getting anxious. Although I was of course, hesitant. How could I have not been? She is not the kindest woman, as you have expressed."
Minerva had sunk down into an armchair in front of Dumbledore's desk, her lips furiously tight at the story of how Dolores Umbridge had found work at Hogwarts, although they would grow tighter still as the story pressed on.
"However, as Severus began to question me about the late arrival of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, I grew positively anxious. There were no other offers for the job, though I had also advertised it throughout Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade." Dumbledore looked directly at Minerva. "Not a soul wanted the supposedly cursed duty here. As Severus walked into my office for the seventy-ninth time to ask about the missing professor, I told him that she would be arriving shortly. So I wrote to her, saying she had been accepted for the position. Of course, there had to be a short while of her leaving her Ministry position and transferring everything over to Hogwarts."
It was Dumbledore's turn to sit, although he sat in the tall chair behind his desk as opposed to the short ones in front of it. His expression was grave, although his eyes gave yet another slight twinkle as they caught the tightness of Minerva's lips.
"She wanted to arrive only at the start of term, I insisted that she arrived today, or I would find somebody else to hold the position." The corners of his mouth turned up very slightly in smothered amusement. "As I'm sure you can imagine, Dolores was not pleased that I had given her a deadline. I pursued the issue, telling her she had to set up her office beforehand along with getting accustomed to the castle. I presume Fudge told her comply to my demands, so she is arriving in around two hours."
Minerva's lips loosened-this was a good thing, seeing that she had looked as though her face were about to implode-and a confused expression took on her face.
"Why would Fudge have told her to do that? I thought..." she trailed off at the solemn look on Dumbledore's face.
"It is my guess-and I don't mean to be humble, but I'm almost positive I'm correct-" Dumbledore smiled a bit at his own humor before proceeding. "-that Fudge wants me to think that she offered the position of her own accord, that she's not his spy."
Minerva shook her head in disbelief. "But why, Albus? Why would he think that you don't know what he's up to?"
"I am afraid that Fudge has gone a little mad in his attempts to convince the entirety of the wizarding world that Harry and I are mentally unstable, and has underestimated the solving skills of a very old man," Dumbledore explained patiently.
Heavy silence filled the room. "Do you know how careful we'll have to be around that woman? How careful Harry, Ron, and Hermione will have to be around her? Should we warn them?"
Dumbledore let out a long, deep sigh, the silvery hairs around his mouth fluttering about in his breath. "There is no way to warn them and be sure it is completely hidden from Umbridge. Mail can be tracked, as can the Floo network."
"But if we were to tell them when they arrived-"
"-then Umbridge may or may not overhear. I predict she will attempt to lure students under her wing to spy on Harry and myself, who also may or may not overhear. Besides," he continued, "I believe we should let Harry make his own choices. We won't always be able to keep him out of trouble, I'm afraid."
Minerva nodded, knowingly. "Yes, but do you really think this is wise? Who knows what that Umbridge woman could get up to? This could lead to much more than this squabble with the Ministry."
"Harry has to make his own choices," Dumbledore said, glancing out the large window behind his desk. "It is our job to guide him academically and emotionally, but not to make his decisions for him. I will also ask you to only bring him to me in urgent situations, for this reason and a few others of my own wishes. Now, if you'll excuse me Minerva, I'd like to have a word with the other staff about my decisions on our newest staff member."
Minerva rose from the armchair, nodded her head a little bit, and left Dumbledore alone in his office. Not fifteen minutes passed before there was a loud, sharp rap at his door, signaling the arrival of professors Snape, Flitwick, Sprout, Binns, Burbage, Grubbly-Plank, Sinistra, and Vector, along with the librarian, Madam Pince, the caretaker, Argus Filch, and the Quidditch referee, Madam Hooch.
"Come in," Dumbledore said loudly, as he could hear the slight bit of chattering outside of his office.
The door opened and his office was flooded with the staff of Hogwarts.
"Quiet down, quiet down!" Dumbledore called. All talking immediately ceased. "Hm," he said thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should have made this announcement in the Great Hall. It is, however, too late for me to call a change of location. I just wanted to let you all know that we've finally found someone to fill the position of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."
There was a slight murmur throughout the crowd, although it died down quickly.
"It was not the ideal candidate, but alas, the only willing candidate. Dolores Umbridge, an ex Ministry member, will be taking the job."
There were gasps throughout the room, whispers curling around in the air.
"Surely he can't mean-"
"You can't be serious-"
"Dumbledore."
Severus Snape's voice resonated around the circlular office, causing all other talk to halt.
"Dumbledore," he repeated, stepping closer to the headmaster's desk. "This woman is practically part of Fudge. Do you know what awful fate this could bring for the boy you are so intent on giving your utmost protection? He very nearly faced expulsion from this school. You were the one at his trial, you were the one who said Umbridge was a particularly foul old hag."
"Those were not my exact words, Severus," Dumbledore said gingerly. "You know hags are amongst us as in the wizarding community, I say it isn't much of an insult. And as I said before, she was our only candidate," he said, his voice firm. "She's arriving this evening. Now, although I don't want to be impolite, I must ask you all to kindly leave for now. Aside from Severus, I'd like to have a private word with you."
Everyone filtered out, Filch hanging back a little bit, as though eager to eavesdrop.
"Argus, Sir Nicholas floated in here not to long ago to say Peeves was planning on causing some mayhem tonight," Dumbledore told him.
Reluctantly, he scurried off, a tick in his cheek throbbing. Severus had turned towards the door, his back bluntly to Dumbledore.
"Severus, please turn and face me."
Snape turned, his face livid. "How could you be such a fool, Dumbledore?" he asked. "To hire that woman? It would have been simpler to just hire me, to find a new potions master."
"Even if I were given the opportunity to replace her with you, I wouldn't," Dumbledore said calmly. "I have my reasons for keeping you where you are. At least for now."
"Then why did you ask me to stay behind?"
"This year will be rough for Harry, I am sure of it. I have no control over any of your actions-unless you were to do something very extreme, in which case I would be obligated to fire you-but I am asking you not to make this year too miserable for him. He will have enough on his hands with Umbridge, I'm sure."
There was silence as Snape avoided Dumbledore's eyes by staring, emotionless, out the window.
"You may go now."
Snape strode out of the office, his robes billowing about his feet. He pulled the door shut with such force is knocked the portrait directly next to it off of the wall, leaving Dumbledore all alone with the loud complaining of the fallen portrait.
With a sigh, he arose from his chair. There was no consent from Snape, no promises. Dumbledore couldn't get close to Harry-for Harry's own personal good. It was information about Hogwarts, about the outside world-both wizarding and Muggle-that he wanted. Not to be inside of Harry's head.
This was a reassuring thought. Distancing himself from Harry would be good, albeit practically unbearable.
"You old fool! Put my portrait back up at once!"
Dumbledore walked over and lifted the portrait back to it's position on the wall.
"Er, sorry about that," said the wizard in the picture. He had short brown hair that was streaked with white and a large, bulbous nose on a face that was clearly very embarrassed. "I just don't like rude awakenings-"
"Don't pretend you were asleep, Birch," Dumbledore said, his tone amused. "I know very well that you were listening in. But who's to blame you? I wasn't making the strongest of efforts to be quiet."
The portrait was still clearly embarrassed. "That's alright then," he said, nodding. "Very well, very well."
With a smile, Dumbledore exited the office himself.
The train came to a halt in the Hogsmeade station. The sun was setting, and the cloudless sky was beginning to grow dark.
Minerva McGonagall stood, her expression fierce, her lips thin, in front of the Hogsmeade station, awaiting the arrival of Dolores Umbridge.
A woman with a strong resemblance to a toad stepped out on the platform. She was short and fat, with a wide mouth and malicious eyes. She was also dressed head to toe in varying shades of pink, with mouse-brown curls hidden under her magenta hat.
"Are you Dolores Umbridge?" asked McGonagall, her voice tight and formal.
The woman blinked, a small smile on her wide mouth. "Well who else would be riding the train?"
McGonagall's expression did not waver. Her lips did not tighten any more. She merely watched the woman like a hawk.
"Follow me up to the castle, please."
She began to take short, quick strides, but got no more than a few yards before realizing Umbridge was not following her.
"Is there a problem?" she said impatiently.
"You haven't introduced yourself," Umbridge said, her voice laced with sickening sweetness.
"I am Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration professor and Deputy Headmistress at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have been assigned by Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to come and pick you up at this station. Now, will you please follow me up to the castle."
Umbridge's eyes were narrowed suspiciously, although her small smile was still on her face. "You aren't going to offer to help me with my bags?"
"Your items will be in your office when you arrive at the castle," McGonagall said shortly. "Now I am heading up to the castle whether you follow me or not."
Umbridge gave out a girly sniff of disapproval before deciding to waddle behind her up to the castle.
"Since I am sure it has been a long time since you've been here, I suggest you follow me to the Headmaster's office at once, before you even enter your office."
Umbridge looked insulted, but only gave another short sniff as she continued to follow McGonagall through the castle until they reached a stone gargoyle. McGonagall stopped so abruptly that Umbridge almost ran directly into her back, but stopped just before she could.
"Why have we stopped?"
Without answering, McGonagall cried, "Bertie Botts!"
The stone gargoyle sprang to life, leaping aside and revealing a doorway with a long spiral staircase.
"Up the stairs is the entrance to the Headmaster's office. I, however, will assume you already knew this. Good day."
McGonagall strode off, her nose stuck up in the air, her expression finally breaking into anger. Umbridge, on the other hand, turned to face the staircase. She put her right foot on the first stair, then her left. She dragged her right foot up to the next stair, and then her left. She continued hobbling up the stairs like this, slowly and deliberately, before she finally reached the large doors.
Her pudgy fingers wrapped around the knocker and she tapped curtly at the door.
"Come in," spoke a voice from inside kindly.
The pushed the door open, stepping a pink shoe onto the floor of the office.
"Ah, what excellent timing you have. I just got back from my walk around the grounds," Dumbledore said happily.
"Excellent timing indeed," Umbridge said. "But you have failed to introduce yourself. I am Dolores Umbridge and I hope we'll get along quite nicely this year, as long as we both agree on how things should be run."
I know, I know. Abrupt ending. Kill me, right? Wrong. Please don't do that. I'm betting some parts of it are a lot more boring than others, and I probably have a few mistakes. I'm very, very tired today, but I'll upload a smoother version of it later.
Please review!
-ZebraZoink