(A/N) So I remembered hearing this story a long time ago and thought, 'Oh, sibling story. Must Fili and Kili it.' So yes, this was inspired by Hans Christian Anderson's 'The Wild Swans.'
Couple of warnings: Yes, this is Durincest. I don't find anything here to be particularly graphic as far as sex goes, but I went with the M rating just to be safe. There are vague mentions of Bagginshield, and also a lot of talk about blood. One other note…yes, Tauriel is the villain in this story. Not passing judgment on her character or anything; we haven't actually seen her, after all. I just happened to need a female villain for this tale and Hobbit is all around lacking in those. So, hopefully you are suitably prepared for what lies ahead and will enjoy…
The Wild Swan
Once upon a time, which is all times and no times, but not the very best of times, there lived a dwarven king. This king had long been a widower, but he had no desire to remarry, as he did not look to love anyone as he had loved his first partner. None of the king's advisor pressed the matter, though, as the king's sister had given birth to two boys and the royal line was secure in them.
Now, it happened one day that an elf witch came along with designs on the king. With the power of her dark magic, she seduced the king into marrying her. However, because she was an elf, the king's nephews stood to inherit his throne before any children she had by him, and so she was hideously jealous of the two young dwarves. She couldn't kill them, though, lest suspicion for their murder fall on her. The brothers would have to be gotten rid of another way.
XxX
Kili sat resting against the trunk of a willow tree, waiting for Fili to finish washing up in the nearby river. The two had just returned from a hunting trip and their mother didn't like them tracking blood into the halls, so his older brother was being proactive.
As the younger prince sat in the shade, an arrow in one hand, he began to doze…and as he drifted somewhere between waking and sleeping, he thought he could almost hear a song…like the chime of bells and the fluttering of wings. Kili wasn't usually one for music, but there was just something so…enchanting about this strain of tune. He couldn't help but listen…couldn't help but fall deeper under the spell.
A lark caught in a hunter's net
Sang sweeter then than ever,
As if the falling melody
Might wing and net dissever.
At dusk, the hunter took his prey,
The lark his freedom never.
All birds and men are sure to die,
But songs may live forever.
The insistent melody seemed to beat in his very blood, carrying him nearer and nearer to the edge…
"Sleep, little prince. When you awake, the world will be different."
"Kili!" his brother's horrified voice suddenly broke through the haze of enchantment that cocooned his mind. Slowly, Kili came to to see his brother standing in front of him, swords drawn, facing some unknown assailant.
"What…what's…?"
"Stay away from him, you snake! Thorin will hear about this!"
"And you think you'll get past me in order to see your uncle again?" Fili's adversary laughed.
"Tauriel?" Kili murmured, still half-enchanted.
"I will kill you if you touch him!" Fili growled.
Kili no longer had any idea of what was happening, but again, he thought he could faintly hear the sound of that birdsong. Fili seemed to hear it, too…only stronger. Even laying where he was, sprawled against the tree, he could see his brother begin to tremble as his swords slowly slipped from his grasp.
"What…are you…doing…to me?" he mumbled, sounding half-asleep…almost as if the words were stuck in his throat. "What…are you…?"
Then, in Kili's eyes, it seemed that his brother was enveloped in a blaze of light…lifted into the air as the magic wrapped around him.
"Fili!" he cried out, struggling to reach a hand out to him as the light stripped him down and reforged him. Golden skin and hair transformed into pure white feathers. Hands and arms shifted into wings. The dwarf's stocky figure grew smaller and slender and his cry of panic became the call of a bird…until finally the light dissipated, leaving a swan where the dwarf prince had stood.
"Fili? Fili?" Kili called several times, his mind still too besotted with enchantment to understand what was happening. Then, suddenly, their aunt was standing over them, ready to strike the final blow.
"Join your brother in his ruin, little dwarf!"
She didn't get a chance to go further, as that was the moment the swan flapped up into her face, hissing and pecking at her. Furiously, the wild bird drove the queen back, until she was far out of sight. When the swan returned to him, Kili didn't at first see the arrow wound in its side.
Kili, you've got to get up! We've got to get away from here! She'll be back! I don't want her to hurt you! Get up!
"Fili?" he mumbled, not quite comprehending the fact that he could somehow hear his brother's voice from this bird. Impatiently, the swan started to peck at him, hurrying the dazed prince to his feet.
Come on! We need to go! We don't have much time!
Kili followed, mostly unquestioning, as the swan led him away from the riverbank.
"But…but you're hurt."
I can still fly. Tauriel tried to turn the guards on me, but so long as I can fly, we can keep going.
"What about Mother? And Uncle?"
I…I don't know. We'll come back some day.
"When?"
I don't know. I just can't let her get to you. Please, hurry! You're my little brother; it's my job to protect you. We've got to run. Don't think about anything else! Just run!
XxX
And run the young prince did. Wherever the swan led, he followed…as far from their uncle's mountain kingdom as they could get before the night fell. The call of enchantment had taken such deep root in the young dwarf's mind before his brother had stepped in that he could still somehow hear his voice, even in the shape of a swan.
When they finally stopped to rest for the night, the younger prince tended to his brother's wounds…and after he'd fallen asleep, something miraculous happened.
XxX
The change first began when Fili wandered out of the cave they were camped in, thinking he'd heard a sound. Nothing came out of the night to threaten them, but the light of the moon did come down to shine on his feathers. When the moonlight touched him, he heard the strange song of enchantment once again and was instantly transformed back into a dwarf.
Immediately, he turned to call out to Kili…but found that he had no voice. No sound came from his throat. Briefly, he considered going to wake his brother, but thought better of it. Somehow, he was still enchanted, and there was no way to know how long this change might last. If his lack of voice wasn't any indication of the curse still upon him, then his change in clothing certainly was. The clothes he'd been wearing earlier had become black trousers and a white tunic, somewhat reminiscent of his swan feathers.
Though it broke his heart not to be able to talk to his little brother…to wake him and to hold him…rather than awaken him to false hope, he lay beside him, wrapped his arms tightly around his slumbering form, and held him all night. When Kili awoke in the morning, there was a swan curled up on his chest.
XxX
For several weeks, the brothers wandered in the Wild, the elder learning just what sorts of things swans ate and the younger kept alive by the skill of his bow. Several times, the queen's guards came after them, but the swan always led them away from his brother.
During that time, the elder brother learned just what his transformations entailed. He would only turn back into a dwarf if he was touched by moonlight. Otherwise, he would remain a swan. The younger prince did not become aware of this for several months, on the night his brother returned to him with an arrow stuck through his snow white breast…the night they met a very mysterious benefactor.
XxX
Kili could have sworn he felt his heart stop when Fili flew into his arms with a dwarvish arrow stuck through him.
"Oh, Fili! Fili!"
Run! his brother's voice urged in his mind. The guards are coming! They'll catch you! Run!
"What about you?"
You have to run now! My life isn't worth anything if they catch you! I'll be fine. Just run!
So Kili ran…ran through the fading light, dodging arrows as he went, and carrying his brother's limp body.
Finally, when he knew he would be overtaken and there was no place left to run, he hid his brother in a clump of bushes and quickly climbed a tree. Then, when Tauriel's guard came through, he took them down, one by one, like a vengeful spirit soaring through the trees as black arrows. The young prince fired fiercely, until only one guard remained alive. He leapt down before him, his last arrow pointed directly between his eyes.
"Go back," he commanded, his eyes blazing with fury. "Go back and tell your mistress the sons of Dis will not be taken so easily."
Horrified at the sight of this avenging angel, the lone dwarf fled back the way he'd come, carrying with him the story of the demon prince.
Kili's anger fell away from him the moment he went to retrieve his brother, who was bleeding worse than before. This wound was beyond his skill to heal.
"Fili…Fili…what can I do?"
You'll…have to keep going.
"But I can't! I can't just let you die! Not like this! Not this!" he cried.
"Well, this is a sight I've never seen. A dwarf talking to a swan," a new voice suddenly broke in on them. Kili's gaze shot up to find an old man clothed in robes of grey staring at them. Quickly, he drew his brother's sword, the one thing of Fili's he'd managed to hold onto. Crouching there on the forest floor, he held the sword out in front of them, cradling his brother protectively in his other arm.
"Who are you? What do you want of us?!" the prince demanded.
"Calm yourself, little one. I mean no harm. I'm just an old wanderer. But I can see that is not just a swan in your arms. If you would like, I may be able to help."
On the run for so long, Kili had gotten out of the habit of trusting…but Fili was dying. What else could he do?
"All right," the younger dwarf gave in. "But if you make one wrong move, I'll put an arrow through your skull."
"I don't doubt it. Give him here," the old man said, holding out his arms. Kili hesitated only a moment before handing his brother over.
Kili…if he tries anything…promise me you'll run.
"I promise," Kili said softly, even though he knew it was a lie. He watched intently as the old man worked, keeping an eye out for even the slightest sign anything was amiss.
"This is quite a nasty spell the boy's got on him," the old man commented casually.
"Do you know much about spells, old man?" Kili asked, a small spark of hope sounding in his voice. They hadn't been able to go to the elves to ask about the curse for fear that Tauriel would be able to find them.
"A fair bit, if I do say so myself."
"Is there anything you could do about this one?"
"Unfortunately, no. A powerful spell of hate such as this can only be countered by its opposite."
"And…what's that?"
"Well, boy, think. What's the opposite of the caster's hatred for your brother?" the old man asked, putting the finishing touches on his work.
"Love?" Kili suggested meekly. "My love?"
"Now we're getting somewhere."
"But…I love him so much…with all my heart. There's no one who loves him more!" Kili protested as darkness stole over them, moonlight beginning to creep into the forest. "Why hasn't that broken the spell?"
"Foolish boy, it isn't enough just to say you love him. You must prove it."
"How?" Kili pressed, his eyes wide and desperate. "How?"
Before the old man could say anything, though, the oncoming moonlight touched Fili's wings and he began to change, while Kili watched in shock.
When a dwarf was finally lying on the forest floor instead of a swan, Kili immediately moved in to kneel beside him, gathering him in his arms. Without even thinking about it, Kili put his lips on his brother's, and Fili reciprocated whole-heartedly…until the tender embrace was interrupted by Fili's cry of pain as Kili's body brushed against his injury.
"What…what happened?" Kili asked. "Is…is the curse broken?"
Fili shook his head. "This happens every night the moon shines down."
"Why…why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you wake me?"
"I…wait. You can hear me?" Fili asked, eyes wide.
"Of course."
"I was going to wake you that first night, but I couldn't speak. I thought I had no voice…so I decided not to give you false hope."
"But you can speak now?"
"Can he?" the old man asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, from where I sit, it appears the boy is saying nothing at all. If he is speaking, it seems only you can hear him. Unless you are able to hear it, it seems your brother has no voice."
For a while, the two brothers just sat, holding each other, before Kili looked up at the old man again and repeated, "How? Old one…how can I break this spell?"
"That depends," he said, stroking his beard.
"On what?"
"On just how far you're willing to go for your brother."
"He took a curse meant for me. I would die for him."
"Kili, don't-"
"Then your path is clear, young master dwarf. You must give of yourself and your time. The task set upon you in order to see this curse lifted is that you must knit your brother a shirt."
Kili blinked. "A shirt?"
"Not just any shirt. You must make him a shirt out of nettles."
"Nettles?" Kili repeated, shuddering at the thought of the stinging plant. "And…such a shirt would break the spell…return Fili to his true form permanently?"
"Not the shirt alone, young one, but the task itself. That is what will counter the elf witch's dark magic. And as your brother has lost the power of speech, you, too, must take a vow of silence should you choose to take on this task. If you speak even one word, you will kill your brother."
"What? Why?"
"Because once begun, you will have set in motion a powerful counter-charm, one that the witch will be able to sense if you give her any indication of your whereabouts. Should she sense this task, she will almost certainly latch onto the trace of her own magic, the curse on your brother…and kill the one who carries it. So even one whisper once the task is begun will be the death of your brother. If this is your course, you must be absolutely certain of it, for there will be no turning back once begun."
"But I…I don't know how to knit. I can't sew. I don't know how to do any of that."
"I will teach you. There is no need for this shirt to be of master quality. It only need be wearable."
"And where are we to find nettles?"
"I know of a place where they grow…a place you would be relatively safe from the queen's men. I can lead you there in the morning, if you wish…once your brother has resumed his swan shape."
For a good long while, Kili sat huddled up against Fili's side, thinking and rethinking.
"You don't have to do this, you know?" Fili said, holding him as close as he could without hurting himself. "You don't. I'm happy…like this…just being with you here. I don't mind being a swan. We could…live out our lives like this," he suggested hesitantly, toying with Kili's dark hair.
"And how long would that be? How long does a swan live? Ten years? I'd be alone and a fugitive the rest of my life. No. I can't just leave you like this. I have to do it. You did this for me. Allow me to do it for you…because I love you," he said, pressing a kiss to his brother's forehead.
"Ah. We are decided, then?" the old man asked, looking to Kili for confirmation. When the young dwarf nodded, the old man clapped his hands together. "Excellent. At the rising of the sun then, young Kili, your task is begun. Take leave of your words tonight."
Fili and Kili curled up next to each other a little ways away from the old man, huddled together under Kili's fur coat, holding each other as tightly as they could.
"Speak to me, Kili," Fili pleaded, gently kissing his brother's cheek. "Tell me a story, sing…anything. I want to hear your voice."
"But I…haven't heard yours in so long," Kili tried to argue.
"You'll have so many silent nights after this one in which to hear my voice…but I don't know when I'll hear yours again. Please, little brother…let me have this night. I want to hear what you say now. Let me hold your words and keep them close to me…the sound of your voice," he begged him, lips hovering just over Kili's. He remembered a time long ago, when they were very small, when the most annoying sound in the world had been the whine of his baby brother's voice. Now he drank in the sound of it like water…kept each syllable, each vowel and consonant pressed close against his ragged heart like precious gems. Kili's voice…how he loved the sound of it…and he might never hear it again.
So Kili obliged him. He talked about when they were children…before Tauriel came into their lives…back when their uncle's first partner, Bilbo, had been alive…back when there had been love in their home. He sang…any song he could remember…lullabies, drinking songs, dirges, love songs…even the faint strains of the enchanted tune they both carried, carved into their subconscious minds. Only…unlike in his head, where the melody sounded distant and foreboding, in Kili's voice, the music sounded warm…almost hopeful.
A lark caught in a hunter's net
Sang sweeter then than ever,
As if the falling melody
Might wing and net dissever.
At dusk, the hunter took his prey,
The lark his freedom never.
All birds and men are sure to die,
But songs may live forever.
Neither brother slept that night, so enthralled were they to each other…Kili to the sight of his brother and Fili to the sound of Kili's voice. The younger kept at it until his throat was hoarse with use, and still he kept at it, for the enraptured look in Fili's eyes never once let up. Then, when the moon's glow began to fade away and grey dawn stole into the forest, Fili began to turn back into a swan. Kili held him as he changed, kissing his lips once more before they became a beak.
"Fili…my brother…I swear to you now that I will get you back. I will keep my silence until my task is done. A kiss now, dear brother…to take my voice away," he whispered against Fili's lips, and Fili obliged him, stealing one last kiss before he was completely gone. The very next moment, Kili was holding a swan in his arms.
XxX
The brothers started out that very morning with the old wizard leading the way, teaching the younger brother the skills he would need even as they moved. The young prince was quickly frustrated with the craft, never having had any patience for that sort of work, but he kept at it in silence, no matter how much he wanted to throw the wizard's yarn to the ground and scream. Every time he made a mistake, the old one would undo everything he had done and force him to begin again. It just about made the poor dwarf want to cry, but he didn't give in. He kept trying…until at last, near day's end, he had a complete row of only slightly lumpy knitting.
It was at about that time they arrived at the place the wizard had spoken of…the estate of a skinchanger, a great lord of the animals, which was yet another reason why the wizard had planned to arrive during the day, whilst the older brother was still in swan form. The skinchanger had no great love of dwarves or men; a dwarf in swan form, though, was another matter altogether. The old wizard convinced the skinchanger to hear the brothers' tragic tale and, having a hatred for any being who used dark magic, the great animal lord permitted the princes to take sanctuary in his hall and gave the younger brother permission to use nettles from his land in order to complete his task.
XxX
Gandalf had Kili practice making the shirt at least once with yarn, saying only that he would need to be familiar with all the necessary moves and shapes before he even considered handling nettles…and when the young prince actually started working with the thorny plants, he quickly understood why. His hands were torn half to shreds by the first row alone. Several times, he just had to take a break because his bleeding fingers hurt him so…and Fili wept for his suffering, both as a swan and as a dwarf.
Kili worked mostly by night, and when the sky was beginning to grey, Fili would tend to his injured hands, treating them with a soothing balm and wrapping them in clean bandages, sealing his work with tears and kisses. It didn't matter that it would all get shredded again the next night.
On this particular night, a long while after Fili had ceased begging him not to go on with this foolhardy task, Kili was about half done with the shirt, but had had to stop again to give his aching hands a rest. Fili had gone off with Beorn to fetch them some supper, so Kili was taking his few precious moments alone to allow himself the pain. He held his bleeding hands tightly against his chest and wept in silent pain. Then he suddenly felt hands on his shoulders and he looked up to see Fili kneeling in front of him, his own eyes already red.
"I hate to see you like this," he said, attempting to fill the silence that was now constantly between them as he took Kili's hands in his, kissing them gently. "Before all this, I could still protect you from the things that hurt you. Now all I can do is watch."
Kili offered his brother a tired smile, his own way of saying he didn't mind…that it was all going to be worth the struggle in the end. Shaking his head, Fili showed Kili the bowls of vegetable stew he'd brought for them, with the usual bread and honey for dessert. Without another word, the older brother began to spoon feed his little brother, just as if he were still a helpless babe who couldn't handle a spoon. Kili had protested the treatment at first, but had quickly started to see the necessity of it in order to spare his hands. So he let Fili feed him.
Once they'd both eaten, Fili moved the dishes aside before resting his hands on Kili's knees.
"Little brother…will you rest tonight?"
Immediately, Kili shook his head.
"Please," Fili begged him. "You've been pushing yourself so hard with no rest. You'll make yourself sick."
Upon hearing the note of desperation in his brother's voice, the expression on Kili's face gradually shifted into something torn.
"Kili, it's only one night…just one night. Please…for me."
Sighing heavily, Kili finally nodded, but then he smirked and raised an eyebrow at his brother, an expression that clearly said, you little snake. You know I can't refuse you a request like that.
Fili smiled back at him…and for a moment, it was almost as if things were normal…as if they were back at home and just sharing in some private joke. But it didn't take the prince long to remember where they really were when he led his brother over to the rather large hearth, where the embers of a fire were still burning low. Fili sat down near its warmth and Kili lay down with him, resting his head in his brother's lap. Smiling down at him again, Fili began to run his fingers through his brother's tangled hair. Reaching up, Kili tapped the blonde dwarf's throat, then trailed his fingers down until they came to rest on his ear…their own code for sing to me.
"What should I sing about?"
Smiling faintly, Kili's lips formed the word 'home.' Nodding, Fili leaned his head back and began to sing.
Land of bear and land of eagle,
Land that gave us birth and blessing,
Land that calls us ever homeward,
We will go home across the mountains.
We will go home, we will go home,
We will go home across the mountains.
We will go home singing our song.
We will go home across the mountains.
Hear our singing, hear our longing.
We will go home across the mountains…
Looking down at the wistful smile on Kili's face, Fili could almost hear the words changing in his head…and started to sing them without even really thinking.
Hear my singing, hear my longing.
I'll carry you home across the mountains.
Hearing the new words, Kili's smile grew even bigger, and he reached up a scraped hand to rest it against Fili's cheek. Then he closed his eyes and Fili could see the way his whole being tensed up, fighting desperately against the desire to speak…to tell him what he was thinking and feeling. Rather than leave him twisting in silent agony, Fili bent down close to him and pressed his lips to his, kissing him deeper than any dwarf had a right to kiss his own brother.
They weren't really sure when it had happened, but this whole misadventure had bound them together just as tightly in soul as they were in blood. They knew, deep down, that no other being would ever be able to love or understand them as they did each other. One was words when the other could not speak. One was light when the other could not see. One was song when the other could hear only silence. When one was helpless, the other was the sword.
One was air when the other could not breathe.
XxX
Unfortunately, there was still one in the world who would see that bond broken. The elf witch had never stopped seeking the two brothers. She knew they had begun to weave the counter spell, but she still could not pinpoint their exact location. So she attacked her would be opponent the only way she could…in dreams.
XxX
"Come on, you sad little child. Cry out in your sleep. Scream your fear! I am coming to kill your brother. Or if you will not, taste a different sort of dream. Groan with desire. Moan your forbidden passion to the night! Tell me where you're hiding, little one."
In the dark, Kili can feel hands on his body…lips pressed against his heated skin, fanning the fire inside him to incandescent heights.
"Kili…oh, Kili," a familiar voice whispers in his ear as fingertips ghost across his prickling skin. His body is nearly aflame with sensation. He wants more…oh, how desperately he needs!
"Kili, I love you. You belong to me. No one else will have you!"
Take me! he wants to cry out. He wants to scream his love and his desire until all corners of the world echo with them…only he cannot. His voice has been silenced. Instead, he yields up his naked body to be touched…kissed…loved.
"Tell me how you love me, Kili. Tell me!" his secret lover hisses in his ear, seizing his hair and yanking his head back, holding him just on the edge of release. "Tell me how badly you want this."
He wants to…longs to…oh, how he aches with this need. The words burn at his lips, fighting for release, but he does not let them go.
I love you. I love you. I love you so! My body aches for you…and my heart breaks for you. I would tell you…but I gave my voice away.
His body screams in silence when the hands fall away. He reaches out blindly in the dark, longing…aching to be touched. He very nearly cries out. He cannot let his hidden lover slip away not knowing how much he loves him…how much he wants him.
Fili!
Kili awoke from the dream with a sharp intake of breath. For a moment, he lay gasping, struggling with all his might not to cry out.
It wasn't the first time he'd awoken in a cold sweat, his body hot and throbbing with need. Normally, he could handle the problem himself, but Fili was too fast for him tonight.
"Kili?" he heard his brother calling as he entered the hall. "Damn. You fell asleep at your work again. I thought you might actually sleep the night this time. What are you-"
Fili stopped when he saw the way Kili was curled in on himself, rocking almost helplessly on the floor.
"Kili!" he cried out, quickly dropping to his knees beside him. "What's wrong? What is it? Are you hurt?"
Kili shook his head, but when he gave no further answer, Fili managed to coax him out of his little cocoon, revealing what was wrong quite plainly, poking up through the layers of his trousers and tunic. Kili's face quickly turned red with shame.
"Oh…" Fili breathed as understanding dawned on him. While they had mostly come to terms with what was between them…had kissed, touched…they had never gone quite that far.
"Kili, Kili, Kili," he soothed, pulling his little brother into his arms as if he were still a small child in need of comfort. "You've got nothing to be ashamed of. It's perfectly natural. Just…just let me…I can-"
At first, Kili shook his head vehemently. He looked up at his brother with wide, frightened eyes.
"What are you afraid of?"
Kili tapped his throat and sent the hand drifting off into the air. He was afraid he would make a sound…exactly as Tauriel wanted.
"You won't," Fili said, starting to stroke his hair. "I believe in you."
Shaking his head again, Kili tapped Fili's throat, then his own ear: Sing to me.
Fili sighed before asking, "What do you want me to sing about?"
This time, Kili's lips formed the word 'love.' Again, Fili sighed. He could think of only one just now…something he'd picked up from a traveler a long time ago. It was sort of a love song, but it more appropriately fitted his mood at the moment.
The day starts, the day ends.
Time crawls by.
Night steals in, pacing the floor.
The moments creep,
Yet I can't bear to sleep
Til I hear you sing.
And weeks pass, and months pass.
Seasons fly.
Still you don't walk through my door,
And in a haze,
I count the silent days
Til I hear you sing once more.
And sometimes in darkness
I dream that you are there,
But wake holding nothing but the cold night air.
And years come, and years go.
Time runs dry.
Still I ache deep in my core.
My broken soul
Can't be alive or whole
Til I hear you sing once more.
And music, your music,
It teases at my ear.
I turn and it fades away and you're not here.
Let hope pass, let dreams pass.
Let them die.
Without you, what are they for?
I'll always feel
No more than halfway real
Til I hear you sing once more.
While Fili had been singing, Kili had begun to cry, his body trembling as tears slid silently down his face. When the last notes had left the older dwarf's lips, he leaned down and pressed a very deep kiss to his brother's lips; a kiss so heated and full of passion, Kili was left burning all over again.
"Kili…please. It isn't just to help you out. It's because I want to. I want you, Kili. We are…let me love you as I should."
Seeing the same fire that was burning in his flesh reflected in Fili's eyes, Kili finally nodded his consent, collapsing into his lover's embrace with near-abandon.
Fili was as gentle as a mild spring rain, knowing his brother was a virgin to the touch of another. His hands were gentle as they coaxed at clothing and his lips were soft as they traced the familiar planes of Kili's skin. He was patient and kind as he guided his brother into his lap, and though he desperately wanted to hear Kili cry out in desire, he remembered their danger…remembered Kili's vow. So when at last Fili held his love in his arms and they were moving together as one, the only sounds to mark their coupling were Fili's whispered declarations of love and Kili's soft gasps of delight.
XxX
Born as brothers…bound as lovers…true love. Such was the fate of the two brothers. It is said that true love is the most powerful magic of all, but even at that, the queen's hatred was not to be defeated so easily. Her spies found the brothers eventually, and soldiers were sent to capture them, for much had happened in the months they'd been in exile.
XxX
Kili was awakened late in the afternoon by the sounds of an argument.
"Who asks for him?" the sound of Beorn's angered voice thundered through the hall.
"Captain of Queen Tauriel's guard," a new voice announced. "Prince Kili is a fugitive from justice and we have come to take him into custody."
"And what is the boy charged with exactly?"
"The killing of Her Majesty's guard, making pacts with demons in order to commit treason against our king, but above all else…the murder of his brother, Prince Fili."
Kili's eyes widened in horror as he listened. How could their uncle even think he would ever raise a hand against Fili? But as he thought about it, he slowly began to realize…what else could Thorin possibly think? Fili had disappeared and Kili himself had run away. With Tauriel influencing him, she could have spun all manner of horrifying crimes the young prince might have committed. What choice did his uncle have?
"Well, that's just utter nonsense," Kili heard Beorn announce to the dwarf. "The young prince is under my protection and I will not have you take him from my hall."
"In that case, master skinchanger, we will be left with no choice but to lay waste to your estate. We must return with the prince…or not at all."
"Hah! Dwarves attack my land? That I will enjoy seeing."
No! No! No! Kili's heart cried out as he listened. He couldn't let this happen. Beorn had done so much for them, sheltered them, given them the means to break Tauriel's curse. He couldn't allow the skinchanger to suffer even one minute in their name. Beorn was strong, certainly, but even he couldn't take on the forces Tauriel could summon against him.
Only…the shirt wasn't finished yet. He was still working on the last sleeve. What if he couldn't finish in time? Fili would be trapped as a swan forever. Well…he would just have to keep working as long as he could, right up until they executed him if need be…so long as there was even the faintest hope of breaking the spell. So Kili carefully folded the shirt, gathered up his needles and the remainder of the nettles, and hid them underneath his clothing before heading outside.
"Boy, get back inside," Beorn ordered the moment he noticed him. "I'll not hand you over to this lot."
Kili just shook his head, smiling sadly at their host. But then his face was suddenly full of white feathers. Fili had shot out from nowhere in order to block his path.
What are you doing? What in Mahal's name do you think you're doing?!
Again, Kili shook his head, patting his swan brother on the head, his eyes speaking the words he could not.
We don't have any choice.
As much as he didn't want to admit it, Fili knew Kili was right, so he allowed him to pass, waddling along beside him as the younger dwarf presented himself to the captain.
"Kili, in the king's name, I charge you with high treason, with conspiring to topple His Majesty, and with the murder of Crown Prince Fili. If found guilty of any of these crimes, the penalty is death by beheading," the captain announced to the fallen prince before having him bound and loaded onto a wagon.
XxX
And so the queen's guard hauled the younger brother back to the king's mountain kingdom, never knowing they had both brothers. If the guardsmen hadn't believed the tales of the young prince's supposed pact with demons, they certainly did when they saw a seemingly wild swan settling into his lap for the journey back. They did try to chase the bird away, but it would not be moved. The guardsmen began to whisper about how the young dwarf ought to be burned for sorcery rather than beheaded as a traitor.
Bound as he was during the journey home, the young prince couldn't work on the last sleeve, though he was badly itching to. He knew he would be unbound and placed in a cell upon their arrival back home, but would that be enough time to finish his work before they put him on trial…before they executed him?
XxX
As he'd expected, Kili was not permitted to see his uncle upon their return. He was hustled straight to a cell. Again, they tried to take Fili away from him, but neither brother was having any of that. Kili clutched the swan tightly against his chest, and Fili hissed and pecked at anyone who came too near, so finally, they just let them alone. The first visitor they had was their mother, whom Kili rushed to hug through the bars of the cell.
"Oh, my boy! My little boy! Where have you been, my child?!" she sobbed, holding him as best she could. Kili allowed tears to stream down his face as they hugged.
"Kili…won't you say anything?" Dis asked him, drawing back a little ways. Kili smiled sadly at her, tears continuing to flow freely down his face. For a moment, he laid a hand on his throat, then shook his head.
"You…can't speak?" she asked slowly. Kili shook his head.
"Oh, dear child…what's happened? They're saying you killed your brother. It isn't true, is it? It can't be true!"
Again, Kili shook his head. Then he pounded a fist against his heart. He could never harm Fili. He loved Fili. But…was there any hope of convincing his mother of the truth when he couldn't speak to her?
"Then where is he? What happened to Fili? Where is my firstborn?" she pressed.
Moving to his knees beside his brother, Kili placed his hands on Fili's back. Fili flapped his wings several times while Kili's lips formed the word 'Fili.'
Mother, it's me. It's Fili. Can't you see it?!
But of course, Dis could not hear her oldest child. The sound of his voice was for Kili's ears alone…and sadly, rather than the longed for look of understanding in her eyes, the brothers saw only dawning horror on her face. Shaking her head, she took several steps back. Then she turned and fled the dungeon, tears beginning to stream from her eyes.
She thinks you've gone mad.
Kili nodded, his expression despairing as he moved to sit on the cell floor, reaching over to hug Fili. It took him all of five minutes to overcome that despair, though. After all, there was only one way out of this, and that was to finish the shirt. So he carefully removed his supplies from where he had them tucked, fresh blood covering them from where the nettles had pricked his skin, and quickly set to work.
Don't worry, Kili. It will be all right; you'll see. Just as soon as the moon comes out, I'll change back. They'll see the truth. They'll have to listen to us.
Kili raised an eyebrow at him as he worked. The expression's meaning was clear. Who would they listen to? Kili couldn't speak, not even one word to defend himself, and even if Fili was able to transform, they wouldn't be able to hear him. Clothed in white as he would be, he may even appear to be a ghost to them…a sure sign of Kili's guilt. There had been many a night in Beorn's hall Fili had spent as a swan because the moon had been hidden by clouds. They couldn't depend on the whim of the moon to deliver them, so Kili kept working, pushing himself harder than he ever had before, shredding his tender, half-healed hands.
Fili waited anxiously by the window in their cell, practically praying for darkness to fall faster. When the sky outside was fully dark, though, the older prince's hopes were dashed. Not even one moonbeam entered the gloomy cell.
Damn it! Why?! Why now?!
Kili was going to shrug, but that was the moment he heard footsteps at the end of the ward, so he quickly stashed his work. Every time someone passed near, he hid the shirt and needles. If anyone saw them, they might be taken away, and he just couldn't let that happen. It was a good thing he'd hidden his work when he did, though, because the face to appear from the dim torchlight beyond their cell was none other than Tauriel.
"Did you really think it would be that easy, little bird?" she mocked, seeing the frantic swan flapping around by the window. "I have called down the clouds. They will not leave until I command it…and I won't command it until after your brother's execution."
With a scream of rage that only Kili could hear, Fili launched himself at the bars. He got his head mostly through, snapping at Tauriel, but all she needed to do was take a few steps back. The witch threw her head back and laughed at the prince's pitiful struggle.
"You know, I could turn you now," she said, turning her attention to Kili. "I could even kill you. They'd never suspect me now…but I think it will be so much better to watch Thorin sentence his beloved nephew to death!" she hissed in his face.
Eyes blazing with fury, Kili shot a hand through the bars and seized the elf by the neck, pulling her down to her knees. He didn't really need words to get his meaning across.
Change him back!
Tauriel only laughed. "What do you think you can do? You have no power. In fact, little prince, let me show you even more of my power. Here's a new curse for you. You might have spoken before now, even though you didn't want to risk that I might kill your brother for it…quite correctly assumed, by the way…but from this moment on, if you speak even one word, say anything in defense of your life…that word will be the stroke that kills your brother. He will die the moment any sound passes your lips. Fili will die…unless you die for him."
Again, the elf witch laughed as Kili released his hold on her, stumbling backwards into the cell and falling to his knees.
Kili! Kili, no! Fili's voice sounded in his head as he moved back toward him.
"See you at the execution, my nephew," Tauriel said before disappearing back into the gloom.
Oh, oh, Mahal, Kili! Fili cried over and over again, worrying over his fallen brother. Please…you can't just keep silent. If you don't tell them what happened, they'll kill you!
It was Fili's pleading that helped Kili break himself out of his daze. After all, there wasn't much time left. If he even had a prayer of finishing his task, he would have to work through the night…probably the next night, as well. They were running out of time. So the young dwarf went to retrieve the nettle shirt and got right back to work.
XxX
The beginning of the trial the next day was the first time in nearly a year Kili had seen his uncle. Thorin looked very tired…like he didn't want to believe all the madness going on around him…but that he didn't have much choice in the matter. The king listened to several testimonies, mostly against Kili. The young prince listened to it all without protest, ignoring the pain from where the nettles were pricking against his stomach. Fili sat beside him, his feathers constantly ruffling up and his wings flapping about for all the denial and protest he could not give voice to.
Tauriel talked about how she had witnessed Prince Fili drinking from the river near the gates…how Kili had come out of hiding and shot him in the back from an unearthly distance…how Fili's body had fallen into the water and drifted away…how she'd called for the guards to search for the body and to capture the traitor…how Kili had fled when he'd heard her cries.
The lone member of Tauriel's former guard…the one whose life Kili had spared…spoke of dwarves felled like stalks of wheat, cut down by black arrows speeding in from every direction at once…how Kili had appeared before him as if by magic…and how his eyes had burned black…like the darkest demon's fire.
Then, last of all, the current captain of Tauriel's guards spoke of the wild swan who followed the young prince…never once left his side…how the animal seemed to obey him…to risk harm in order to protect him. What else could it be but a sorcerer's familiar?
The cries came from everywhere, the watching crowd stirred to a frenzy by the words of fear they'd just had preached to them.
"He is a kinslayer! Murderer! Liar! Traitor! Sorcerer's get! Burn him! Burn him alive!"
From all directions, the cries for his blood came, and throughout it all, Kili said nothing. He just stood where he was, chained and surrounded by guards, letting the crowd's vitriol wash over him like water. After all, their hatred was nothing…nothing…compared to his brother's life.
After a time, Thorin raised a hand for silence. Then he approached Kili and the guards stood aside to allow him through. He looked at his nephew through saddened, tired eyes.
"Kili…sister-son…your mother tells me you've lost your mind…that you believe this swan at your side is your brother. She thinks, perhaps, it is a lie you tell yourself because you cannot live with your guilt…cannot face what you have done. I do not believe the lad I knew could ever do something like this…but perhaps you are not the lad I knew. Perhaps you really have lost your mind…and that's why you did it. Will you not speak, my nephew? Not one word in your defense? Nothing to save your life?"
As always, Kili remained silent, staring at his uncle through sad eyes of his own. He was trapped; there was nothing he could do.
"Kili…if you tell me you did not do this…I will believe you, but you must speak! One word…even one little word. Please, Kili. I don't want to execute you."
Mahal damn it, Kili! Tell them! Please! I'm begging you! Just tell them! I don't care what happens to me, but you've got to live! Don't do this. Damn it, Kili! Don't do this!
Through even this, Kili remained unmovable. He smiled sadly at his uncle and shook his head. He had no more hope of convincing Thorin of the truth than he had their mother.
"He is silent!" the cries rose up again. "A confession! He admits his guilt! Kill him!"
Thorin sighed heavily, turning away from Kili as he spoke. "Very well, Kili. You leave me no choice. I find you guilty of the murder of your only brother. You are sentenced to be beheaded at dawn."
Once again, the crowd was whipped into a screaming frenzy by the king's judgment. The only scream Kili heard, though, was that of his brother…his cry of anguish ringing out like a death knell in the silence of his mind.
NOOO!
XxX
Kili and his swan were quickly escorted back to his cell. They asked him what he would like for his last meal, but of course, he gave no answer. He didn't even look up when they brought him a bowl of stew. Nothing else mattered anymore, nothing except finishing his task…and he was so very close. He would work right up until the last minute of his life, if need be.
How could you do this to me?! Why won't you just tell them the truth?! They're really going to kill you! The only way you can save yourself is if you give me up. You've got to!
Kili threw his brother an angry glare as he worked. At the moment, all he wanted to do was scream at him…ask how he could possibly live knowing his life had been bought with Fili's.
Kili, I swear, if you die tomorrow, I'll never forgive you!
Unable to hear anymore, Kili finally threw down his needles and seized Fili's small swan head in both bleeding hands, forcing him to look into his eyes…and finally Fili could see. He could see how badly Kili was trembling, telling how frightened he was with the very bend of his shoulders. The tears beginning to trail from his red eyes spoke of how much he didn't want to die. He was scared…and he needed his brother…his love. In that moment, Fili would have given anything just to be able to hold him one more time.
Oh…Kili…Kili…my love…I'm so sorry, he said, jumping up into his little brother's lap. Kili nodded, telling him the apology was accepted. For several minutes, Kili just held him close, crying silently into his feathers.
Finally, when the young prince had gathered enough of his composure, he set Fili down and retrieved the needles and shirt. His hands hurt him terribly, but there were only a few inches of the sleeve left to complete. Briefly, he glanced at Fili, pressing a hand to his long, slender neck and drawing it up to his ear. Sing to me.
What should I sing?
Kili lay his head slightly to the side and closed his eyes. Sing me to sleep.
Even though all he wanted to do was scream…cry…anything else, the request was so horrifying, Fili obliged…singing out in his heart for his brother. There was only one song to be sung in this moment
A lark caught in a hunter's net
Sang sweeter then than ever,
As if the falling melody
Might wing and net dissever.
At dusk, the hunter took his prey,
The lark his freedom never.
All birds and men are sure to die,
But songs may live forever.
Fili recalled a night that now seemed so long ago…the night they'd first kissed…and Kili had given up his voice. Kili had sung the song to him then, and it had been warm…bright…full of so much hope. In his own voice, the elder prince knew what the melody sounded like…a funeral dirge. It was the song sung before the fall into a grave…but it was what Kili wanted, so he gave it to him.
XxX
Kili didn't even look up when the guards came for him. There was one inch left to knit. Only one!
So perplexed were they by the prince's choice of final activity, they didn't even bother to bind his hands. They simply flanked him and led him from the cell, and he moved with them, working furiously to finish his task. All the while, the swan flapped about the group of guards, hissing, calling, and pecking at them, but they just brushed him off.
No, don't! Please! he cried out. Don't take my brother away from me! Don't kill him! Please don't kill him! I love him! He's my life! You can't take him away from me! Mahal! Mother, Father, Uncle! Can't anyone hear me?!
No one could, though…no one except Kili, and the sound of his brother's desperation made his heart ache so horribly, he nearly fell to his knees. Silent tears flowed so thick from his eyes, they nearly blinded him. Almost done…so close…almost done! Kili hardly noticed when the guards brought him outside the city gates; he paid no mind to the roar of the crowd. He only noticed when they stopped moving. Briefly, he glanced up, seeing the small circle of clear space the mob had left for the execution…seeing the chopping block…and the executioner standing at the ready with his newly sharpened axe. Somehow managing to quash down the terror that had gripped his throat, Kili continued to work.
Don't look. Nothing else matters. Nothing! You have to finish this…even if you die. Fili needs you. You have to finish it!
"Do you have any last words, Kili?" Thorin's voice sounded in his ears as he was shoved up to the executioner's block. Still, he did not look up.
No! NO! Kili, NO! Fili screamed, trying to interfere, but one of the guards finally took hold of him, holding his wings tightly to prevent his escape. You can't die! KILI!
"As you wish. Take those plants from him," he ordered one of the guards. Kili didn't even hear the order…for he had finished the shirt.
With trembling hands, he held his work aloft, but the very next moment, the precious garment was swatted out of his hands and he was forced to his knees, his head shoved down onto the block. Now he began to struggle in earnest. As one of the guards came to chain his wrists, he shot wide, terrified eyes at his brother. No! Not now! Not now that he was finished! It wasn't fair!
Fili understood immediately, and in a fit of desperation, he twisted his long neck and quickly pecked out the eyes of the guard holding him, who released him with a scream of pain.
As two of the guards struggled to hold Kili down, the executioner raised his axe above the prince's neck. He could see he needed to end this one quickly, lest the poor boy die shamed like a coward.
Swooping in, Fili awkwardly struggled his way into the brambly shirt. The transformation began immediately. Light surrounded the swan as white feathers shifted into golden skin and hair. Wings shifted into hands and arms and the slender swan's body grew and became much less slender. Then, as a beak became lips, the frantic bird call became the sound of a scream. The entire mob was held spellbound by the transformation…but the executioner was not.
The moment he had feet, Fili was running, screaming. "STOP!"
The executioner was just starting to swing when Fili flung his body over Kili's, using himself as a shield.
"Don't kill him! Don't kill him! Can't kill him! Please don't kill him!" he cried over and over, tears streaming down his face as he held Kili tightly in his arms. Any minute, he expected to feel the axe head buried in his back…but it never came. Every dwarf present stood in amazement…all except the only one present who wasn't a dwarf.
"No!" an angry voice shrieked. "It's impossible!"
Not even stopping to think, Fili seized a throwing knife from one of the guards. Looking up to see Tauriel moving in on them, he threw the weapon.
The blade struck true. Tauriel was so shocked by the move, she had no time to counter it, and wound up on her knees with a knife buried hilt deep in her heart. With one final snarl, she keeled over and lay dead, blood dribbling from her mouth.
"I told you…I would kill you," Fili hissed at the corpse before turning his attention back to his little brother. Being gentle, he rolled Kili onto his back on the block. Kili smiled up at him, tears of happiness flowing freely down his face. "Kili…Kili…my life, my love. You did it. You broke the spell. Now have your voice back, you fool. Call my name once more," he said before pressing his lips to the younger dwarf's, kissing as if they'd never kiss again.
When the two finally separated for air, Kili reached up a bloodied hand to touch his brother's smiling face. "Fili," he whispered before passing out right there on the block, exhausted and in shock.
"I'm right here," Fili whispered in his ear. "Nothing's going to hurt you anymore. I'm here to protect you."
Then, not really caring what anyone else had to say, Fili lifted his brother into his arms and began to move back through the crowd. In this way, Fili carried Kili home.
XxX
There would be time enough later for explanations. The full truth would come out in good time. What the brothers didn't realize until later was that it was just as the old wizard had said. It wasn't the task itself that had broken the witch's curse. It had been the young prince's willingness to see it through to the end…his resolve to die rather than give his brother up…his love. For greater love cannot be shown than to lay down one's life for his love.
And of course, because you are wondering, the two brothers did indeed live happily ever after.
XxX
(A/N) A few notes on the songs. The lark song is from Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth, a truly epic read. "Song of the Exile" is from the film King Arthur, which I've never actually seen, but did happen to stumble upon this nice little song. "Til I Hear You Sing" is from the musical Love Never Dies. I've never much cared for the show, but I really like the song. Well, I certainly hope my little fairy tale was enjoyed. Until next we meet…