From Inside

Authoress: Wee-Me

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything or anyone from "Buffy" and I am not profiting from writing about them.

WARNING: Character death, murder, not exactly Spuffy, some vampire family stuff. Set when Buffy was still messed up from coming back to life.

Begin

Spike: "Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but we still do kill people. Sort of our raison d'etre, you know."

Angelus: "Spike, my boy, you really don't get it, do you? You tried to kill her, but you couldn't. Look at you. You're a wreck! She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl… you have to love her."

Innocence- Season 2

He'd never expected to follow in the footsteps of his grandsire, Angel or Angelus, as much as he has. He'd chased Dru and tried to love her when it wasn't meant to be. He'd come back to Sunnydale when he hadn't planned to. He'd helped the White Hats even when they didn't want his company. Though he doubted Angel ever stayed in the Watcher's tub. He'd fallen for Buffy. He'd gotten a soul. It was almost sickening how much he and the old man had in common now.

"Guess more of his lessons stuck than I thought," he muttered around a fresh cig. But perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing he mused as he looked over the Slayer's body.

She'd come to him again tonight to get her itch scratched. Come to feel something, to fight and fornicate with him. She was always ashamed to need him so they'd met secretly in a dirty alley on her patrol route. It suited him fine. He'd given her what she needed and let her turn to go calling insults and threats over her shoulder. He'd responded with a heartfelt "I love you" as he pulled her back against him. His hand in her hair, the other on her shoulder, he'd kissed her neck. She hadn't even struggled. She was so used to his attempts to romance her she rarely made a real effort to stop him anymore. She was almost relaxed when he tightened his hold and snapped her neck.

He gave a last look to his beloved before leaving her behind. His heart ached for her, but it was for the best. He'd had to kill her, and not because he'd needed her dead at his hands for years. There was another Slayer around to take her place and it wouldn't be an awful time like it was after Glory. The girl in the alley had barely been Buffy in any case, though he didn't fault the witch's spell casting. She came back wrong and never lifted a finger to fix her self.

It he had to guess, he wouldn't be the only one both happy and sad to see her gone. The broken girl in the alley was out of her misery and wouldn't be connected to him. He hadn't even tasted her blood and she'd done too good a job hiding their affair. He sat with the worried group when she didn't come home. He supported Willow as she did the tracking spell. He helped with the search. The police had already found her. He held Dawn as they identified her body. He pulled Xander aside to leave him in charge of the girls and took the slaying part on his own.

By the time he reached Willy's a few hours later (he had his responsibilities after all) a group of warrior demons had already claimed the kill according to the gossip. He'd played the angry lovesick role and threatened the information from the gossip spreaders before going home to break the news. He cried along with them as they took it all in and held Dawn as she grieved her sister again. Not even Harris had suspected a thing when he swore in with them to punish the ones responsible.

As he bedded down in the basement he thought of her and of the only useful advice Angelus ever gave him, back during that Acthala mess. Sleep was hard to surrender to. He missed Buffy, always would, but that was the way of romances not to be. After all, he still missed Cecily and Drusilla. In the morning he would help make a plan of attack and hold their little family together as best he could.

For all that he had in common with Angel, he differed from him, and their whole line, in one regard: loyalty to loved ones. He'd tried so hard for Cecily and his mother. He'd been willing to try for Angelus and the rest when he was first sired, but it was never enough for them. The feeling only really lasted with Drusilla and for far longer than was warranted. Angelus wasn't his "daddy" like he was for Dru, but even when he hated him he'd kept an eye out for his safety and approval. When it was finally just him and his Princess his loyalty had known no bounds. He'd gone against Angelus for her.

Then all of his vampiric family was gone and the Scoobies were all he had. He might have fallen for Buffy, but the rest of them grew on him as well. The Slayer was his lady love, but the others were like his children, a new family to take care of that was all his own. Buffy had died and left him, all of them, proving she was transient and temporary. Family, especially children, held more permanence and weight. He'd loved his girl even after she was gone, still did, but the body in the alley wasn't his Buffy though he'd tried hard to believe it. In a perfect world she could have lead the family at his side, but without her he'd just have to work twice as hard.

In the morning he would start proving he could be even more different from his sire. He wouldn't be abandoning his family. He would help avenge the slayer and keep her group together. He would train his brood up right. He wouldn't let his soul get in the way of keeping them safe. They would learn to love him and do as he said. He smiled in the dark. He could hardly wait.

End

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I imagine that Spike would be big into the idea of family and I could see it getting quite dark if he decided he had one to protect. I'll leave it up to your imagination if he gets caught for killing her or if they ever actually accept his version of the truth (that he's the "dad" to them). Also up in the air is if it gets any darker; for example, just what kind of training and how far would he go to get them to fall in line? I have my ideas, but you can imagine what you like. For those that think this is out of character, please remember that this is an alternate version and that he is a vampire, who knows what could be going on in his head. If after that you still think I'm wrong, feel free to say so. The quote I assume is accurate, it came from a quote site and I kept it long after I lost the link. Thanks for reading.

Part of my 2011 13 Posts/Days of Halloween.