What is this what am I doing.

A request I took too seriously. Based off of "ooh mister darcy: a fanfiction" from Hark, a vagrant.

Important to note: This is based TYL.

"Kyouya, I'm home and… Kyouya?" Dino frowned at the lack of skylark in the immediate vicinity of where he expected. He was rather in a mood to see Hibari's no-doubt-disgruntled face and perhaps even change that expression to something at least a bit more neutral. Over the years the instances of positive emotion being shown had increased, but only because that was almost always due to a smirk of some sort at Dino's expense. But even if the young man refused to show a smile, Dino knew better than to take that as a true reflection of his feelings. For now, though, he just had to focus on finding Hibari…

Luckily he was the second place Dino looked, out back enjoying the near-perfect weather with a book, and wearing one of his kimonos that Dino liked best, especially considering… Though making any attempt at being sneaky around Hibari was useless Dino was careful to be silent as he crept up behind the younger man anyway, and as he kneeled down behind him he snaked a hand around to tug at the sash around Hibari's waist, allowing the kimono to loosen considerably. This finally earned him some recognition in the form of gray eyes shifting from the book, and Dino responded with a suggestive, "Your clothes are about to fall off. I can help you with that…"

With much more calm than Dino expected, Hibari marked his place in his book and put it to the side, turning to face the Italian— and for a split second, Dino thought that his stupid move had actually worked. Instead Hibari looked him in the eye and said, "Oh. It's you."

Unfazed by the kind of remarks he had been hearing for years, Dino repositioned himself in front of Hibari. "Let's—"

"No."

"I brought my whip."

"No."

It was really a ridiculous sight, the dangerous skylark sitting in such a peaceful scene, stalwartly refusing to fix his clothing in spite of quite a fair bit of skin now showing to the audience of one. Dino took this as a sign of insincere refusal, and when Hibari tilted his neck just so and even more of his collarbone was exposed, the bronco saw an open invitation, one he accepted greedily.

Meanwhile, in a 32-kilometer radius of this event:

Turtles, particularly one belonging to a foreigner who enjoyed using his whip a little too much, are often fond of submerging themselves in the largest body of water to be found. With no owner in sight to stop this from happening, it was inevitable that the turtle would soon be much larger.

Illusionists were sitting at a small coffee shop, enjoying their beverages, when the male's expression abruptly turned sour. "A-ah, is everything alright?" the younger girl asked, looking concerned, but the man didn't answer, as he had no way to explain the overwhelming wave of sudden, directionless jealousy that washed over him.

It was amazing.