I don't own Harry Potter.
I sat there staring at the gravestone of one of my closest friends.
You didn't die when Voldemort killed you Father, then your Mother, and tried to kill you.
You didn't die when Professor Quirrel was trying to jinx you off your broom. You didn't die when we faced Fluffy. You didn't die in first year when we got trapped in the devil's snare. You didn't die when you were pelted by sharp keys. You didn't die when you stopped mere feet from that castle wall during our first flying lesson. You didn't die when you faced Professor Quirrel, or when you finally met Voldemort.
You didn't die in second year when Dobby charmed that Bludger to try and harm you. You didn't die when you almost fell out of the car, or when the whomping willow attacked. You didn't die in the forest, against Aragog and his family. You didn't die when the ceiling fell in after Lockhart's faliled spell. You didn't die when you fought the Basilisk, or when you were poisoned by the Basilisk venom.
You didn't die all those times with the dementors. You didn't die when you fell off your broom. You didn't die in the shrieking shack. You didn't die when Professor Lupin went werewolf and attacked.
You didn't die when the Death Eaters attacked the Quidditch World Tournament. You didn't die facing the Hungarian Horntail. You didn't die when facing the merpeople. You didn't die in the maze. You didn't die when facing Voldemort again. You didn't die when Barty Crouch Junior, who had impersonated Professor Moody all year, attacked you after you got back.
You didn't die when facing the dementors with your cousin. You didn't die that time with Umbridge, Grawp, and the centaurs. You didn't die in the department of mysteries. You didn't die when you went after Bellatrix. You didn't die in the main atrium of the Ministry, when you faced Voldemort again, alongside Dumbledore.
You didn't die when the Burrow was attacked. You didn't die when you faced the Inferi. You didn't die as you were running through the battle. You didn't die when you tried to kill Snape.
You didn't die at the wedding. You didn't die at the Ministry. You didn't die when you were drowning in the lake, or when the locket attacked. You didn't die when you were being overwhelmed by multiplying objects. You didn't die when we were breaking out of Gringotts. You didn't die when the Lovegood home collapsed with us inside. You didn't die when we were caught by the Snatchers and brought to the Malfoy Manor. You didn't die when Bellatrix threw the knife that hit Dobby. You didn't die when we went back to Hogwarts to find the last Horcrux. You didn't die when we got caught in that fire with Draco. You didn't even really die when you were hit with the killing curse. You didn't die dueling against Voldemort for the last time.
You didn't die through all that...But-
"Harry Potter, you dunghead! You live through all of that, but you die from shock?"
Yes dear people. He died of a heart attack brought on by the shock of his daughter telling him she was getting married.